Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!

Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!


Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this us....


This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public


My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Friday, December 31, 2010

I should know this

14 and a half years into this relationship with Dave, I should know when it's coming but nope. Not a clue. The guy has the dryest sense of humor on earth.

Playing Wii baseball waiting on the countdown to hit our time zone and the kids have him playing baseball with us.

I got to first base and the kids were ribbing me about not making it past first base.......

Anyone want to guess where perv went with this one?

At least he's whispering these things now, cause the kids are getting on up in

New Year's At My House

There is something to be said about having the family that I have. There are no babysitters, no drunken parties, no cab rides home. Nope, that's not how we ring in the New Year.

H4G's special ribs (the secret is in the glaze/rub combo), purple hull peas bubbling on the stove with some bacon and onions, the fixings for potato salad in the making and a pecan pie (GF of course) on standby.

We eat until I gain back the 2 lbs I lost this past week on vacay, and then we sit and rub out bellies playing Train until midnight when we'll play Wii and sip our apple juice till we all pass out in a holiday coma.

I love my family.

I love how we do things.

I love ribs.

Hence, I love New Years!

Be safe and may the new year be a blessing of bounty to us all!

The Big T

We love Tulsa. It's where we met, fell in love and eventually married before the Navy took us away. We've been back for visits, in fact we were there all of Monday this past week catching up with everyone we still know there. It was wonderful to see everyone and sit/catch-up while the kids ran wild. We ended up driving around at 1 in the morning after the last visit. We drove by his old house, my old house, our meeting place: the Shell station that used to be a Texico. We drove by the bridge I'd walk everyday, a few places we both worked and mainly we realized that while it holds a certain appeal, you just can't go back home.

But man did it feel weird to be doing the drive with our two sleeping kids in the backseat.

That said, after visiting everyone we had quite the epiphany. We realized that there is such a thing as too far out in the country. One friend has quite the set up, far far far far far from anything. Like an hour from a gas station. The land is beautiful, their new house and barn are great but not for us. Too far out. Than there is the friend in the middle of the city in a great nice neighborhood that has the same feel as our one in SLC did. Beautiful house but slap ass middle of the city living is not for us.

Kinda humbling to realize that we like exactly where we are. Living on the outskirts of a large city in a country town that is close enough for everything but far enough away to give us the lifestyle we want. That was a nice surprise!

So as I sit here watching it poor down rain, I'm relieved and happy to be exactly where I am.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I'm Home....and going into hiding

We made it home. Finally, and I'm beat. But oh boy the stories I'll have to share with my peeps in the coming week.

Except now, I am waiting on Dave to finish pecos fries and then it's off to the tub. Then a coma.

This is my fav pic from this trip. Dave and I were trying to figure out what we were gonna do next and I love the whole heads together shot Princess took of us from the backseat.

This really says alot about me and my guy. Love that man, even if I want to run him over with my car somedays, snicker. He b my sugarbutt. Ps: don't tell him I said that cause he'll kill me for the pet names again.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Hello Lake

I've missed you.

We made it to the lake for the holidays. The drive was great, we arrived at 3 am Christmas morning and other than not being able to find an open bathroom for 200 miles at a stretch due to everyone being closed, it was uneventful and good family time.

Now Dave has a big ole smile on his face and everyone is relaxed and happy.

Merry Christmas to all!

We are enjoying our time together. Hugs to you all.

Friday, December 24, 2010


The kid is now cooler than me..... she got a kindle from my mom (hey, I got her a netbook....I get points) and she's downloading books left and right for free. I have the ancient old sony e-reader and there aren't any (excuse me, AINT any) free books around.


I want a nook.

Dear Santa,
Before next year, I better have a nice new nook under my tree to feed my reading slut novel addiction.


Thursday, December 23, 2010

Deep Breath

So I've been super busy. Today is my last day as your friendly local Walmart cashier, it's not for me. For so many reasons, but mainly because I'm not equipped to deal with stupid people. I've had my ass grabbed, my hand cut open and told that my hair looks like shit and I should do my roots. Four days people. Not for me.

I celebrated my 13 year wedding anniversary after the kids both had their birthdays. They are now officially 12 and 8. Go babies go.

Last night I got home to a message from a recruiter about the job I interviewed twice for and I got it. Woohoo, I start Jan 10th. I have a lot of paperwork and stuff to get done for now though so I'll be busy. Very excited to be going back to the corporate world, bring it on. I'm ready! And I'm walking into a lot of work that needs organized and new processes so I can't wait!

But since all these changes have been reined down like blessings upon me, I'm also able to spend Christmas with my kids now. Instead of staying home and working while they go with Dave to the lake for a family Christmas, I get to go too. I can't wait.

Just have to go get a few last minute Santa gifts covered today and pick up a turkey.

God is so good to the stupid and the ignorant. God is so good to me. What a blessing!

And I have to get my hair fixed cause the girl butchered it when she was suppose to trim it and dang my roots really are bad. Grey hair everywhere.

So Merry Christmas to all and to all a good season!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Latest Greatest

So I got my associates confered to me this week, woohoo. May can't come fast enough for my next degree. Happy days!

Tomorrow I start my new part time job....I'll be your friendly Walmart cashier. Really kinda looking forward to it, hoping to get late late hours and I might actually meet some people here in this place. I also got my sub teaching quals passed by the school board so after I fingerprint next week I'll be ready to sub starting in Jan! Woohoo.

Although, all that may be have a different outcome. I have a 2nd interview on Monday for a job I really want. I'm one in 3 out of the initial 500 applicants. Please say a prayer for my current job situation, at this point I'm open to whatever the Lord has in store for me cause he knows so much better than me. :) I'm in good hands.

And I have so much other stuff to post soon but I'm exhausted and starving, so off to get my dinner on.


Thursday, December 16, 2010

Happy 12th Bday Kid

Princess celebrated her 12th birthday this past weekend. Since she was technically birthed on Christmas Day.....imagine trying to have a kid during late late Christmas Eve night when all the nurses and doctors were eating turkey and pie then drinking spiked eggnog at a military hospital. I regress, sorry. So we celebrate early around here. We had a crap ton of little girls over for a sleepover which included: flashlight treasure hunts in the dark, karoake till my ears bled, and then spa time. It was ridiculous dudes. Seriously Dave and I had to rest up all the next day to recoup. Like trying to herd wet chickens.

So I did okay, the karoake machine is a hit.

Next year: soundproofing for her bedroom.

Happy Birthday Kid, mommy loves you. Even if you are a pain in the butt sometimes.

Monday, December 13, 2010

I B Busy....

I know it drives you nuts not knowing what's going on with me......but I b busy, no worries, lol. I have spent a ton of time in the last two weeks....applying for local jobs, getting local jobs then getting a call that the job is kaput because of a hiring freeze. So I took a class to sub in our local school district, since I'm at the schools all the freaking time. I almost have all my qualifications up to date, transcript should be here tomorrow and then I'll be ready to do my FBI fingerprinting so hopefully will be able to start subbing, cause I like the high school mostly, lol.

But this week I've been working like a dog in the 2nd grade doing door decorating for the Christmas contest, Doing bulletin boards and helping her with holiday projects for the upcoming party, which I had to pass on overseeing cause I'm also roommom for Princess' 6th grade class and they got me first. So I'm knee deep in planning all the way around.

 Sneaky teacher snapped me and my helpers working hard. Confession: these two were driving everyone nuts and I got tired of correcting them, so I put them to work. Strangely they got quiet and starting helping out! I rock.

So cause I'm a maverick, I didn't do a Christmas door per say.......hee hee. I did a winter door so we could leave that bad boy up till Feb. Whew! The other room mom's are beside themselves, cause I'm bringing the threat baby.

Seriously though, I do have a job interview tomorrow, please say a prayer for me.......this one would be helpful!

Back soon, I have to finish my italian sausage spaghetti dinner.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Oh Lord

I have 9 11-12 year old little girls. It's Princess' birthday party and they are sleeping over. So far so good. I still have to dig out some clues and set up the glow in the dark treasure hunt, so we'll see how that goes but so far we b surviving. Dave is even knee deep in the middle....true sigh on a man, he hasn't run for the hills.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Busy Day, Fork My Ass

I'm sitting down for the first time today and my makeup is making my face itch. Yeah, you read that right, I'm in warpaint. I did observation today and got to teach Algebra II this morning. That was stinking cool! Dude, seriously I didn't realize how much math I've absorbed over my careers and schooling. Crazy! So when I got itchy just watching, I grabbed some paper and started working out the problems they kids were working on too, and then the teacher just handed the class over and I started their lessons on factoring polynominals. I had a great time, the kids were super respectful and well behaved....the teacher took my name and was like dude, you're so my sub. lol. Then I ran some errands and now I'm home to finish laundry and start a big ole dinner. Last week of school till Jan, thank goodness!!!!!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010 really wow

so while pulling down Christmas stuff from the attic, Princess was up there digging in some old boxes that I seriously move house to house but never even open..........I don't know why.

But she found something balled up and dirty.

My wedding dress.

Seeing how my anniversary is in two weeks, for giggles I hid in the bathroom and tried it on. Just to have princess come in and scream....

the farker fits, wait that's not completely true. It's baggy around the hips and waist and will only zip up the back to the bust.....

Turns out after having two kids you really do change shapes.

That was fun until I realized that apparently my damn back has grown.........seriously? nasty!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Oh Boy

I'm job the big city. Gave up on this poor little towns around here and am looking to commute into the big ole city. I'm not happy about it but you do what you gotta do. That being said, I'm in such a foul mood right now, I'm seeing everything in a reddish tint. Sigh......... being a grown up sucks.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Scrooge Lives Here

So the kids and I bugged Dave enough that he braved the attic and drug down our tree and box of decorations........


I had like four boxes of decorations.......

Before the big move last year apparently.

Luckily I had a little garland, a pre-lit tree, the tree shirt and our stockings. A few homemade ornaments and we're done in like 15 minutes.

Seriously it was insane, made even worse when Duchess stood back with her hands on her hips and announced........" Jeez, Scrooge Lives Here".


I've got too much else on my plate to worry about decorations though. So, yep Scrooge lives here baby. Ho Ho Ho

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I'm proud, but I cried a little

So in lieu of the lice infestation going through the schools.....we got a nice letter about it, apparently it truly is rampant in this damn town during winter..... we signed off on the girls getting a big ole haircut. This makes all our lives easier and since their hair grows as fast as mine it'll be back long by summer, we ok-ed.

But it stepped up a notch, cause Duchess came to me and told me that she wanted to donate her hair to cancer kids. Seems watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition is bringing some good changes in my kids. After watching a show featuring a lot of little kids with no hair in a cancer unit, she and I talked a month or so ago about how they can get wigs from people's donated hair. And she wanted to, my heart just swelled up and about burst.

So this morning, off we went.

 Princess now has a stylish, sleek thinned out bob that is just adorable.
 She lost 7 inches. Not enough to donate but she didn't want to go much shorter so next time for her. We left it up to the kids.
 Duchess now has a very short curly bob, after losing all that hair weight, we realized that she was as curly as her momma and mimi. She keeps touching the hair and can't get over how light it feels.
 Considering how MUCH hair she had before, I totally get that.
The baby lost 13.5 inches and we have it bagged up and ready to donate.

And now, they want to grow it back out and do it all again........

I really can't ask for more from my kids. They are so aware of the world around them and the needs of others. My heart just truly can't be any bigger than right at this moment.

Friday, December 3, 2010

I got some sleep.....which = trouble

When I finally get some sleep, I wake up ready to take on the world. In this case, it's taking care of a tummy-flu bug having Princess, digging about 24 new recipes to try, helping a girlfriend sign up for online school, and cleaning my house. Sleep makes a H4G good.....

I finally managed to get my library books back and pay my $1.60 fine. Opps. (side note: I'm really an honest person, don't ask me if you don't want to know....and during an interview not to long ago for yet another job I got told I was overqualified for they asked if I'd ever been in trouble.....and I answered yes, I have had quite a few library fines cause I tend to forget. The guy blinked and then clarifies, I meant legal trouble. And I told him, isn't that legal trouble, you can get in big time trouble over those books..... he didn't blink just sat there staring. After talking with a few others, turns out nobody considers that "trouble" so I can't tell you how much that makes me feel better, whew!)

On another note, please lift up my little nephew. He's 16 months old and due to quite a few tests, he is having a bone scan and biospy this coming Tuesday. Please take a minute to lift him up, cause that sweet precious baby boy is the light to quite a few people.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I'm Running Away

So Princess came home with lice last night...............Kill me now. Found a few lice (GAG) and some nits (ewwwwww) then checked Duchess and here we go again. This damn school system is under a lice seige every winter apparently. Kill me now...... Dave is threatening to shave his and MY heads if we end up with this crap cause of the babies. He thinks I can rock the O'Connor look, or as I like to think, my daddy's cueball look. Seriously, all morning was spent doing treatments and now they are saute-ing with olive oil treatments under some big ole "I am in the robbing of convenience stores line of work" hats.

So I am busier than crap as usual. I managed to go from no waiting laundry to a mound almost as tall as the kids.

Except before the nightly head check last night I managed to outdo myself. I must be feeling better. Not only did I get dressed (dude, hair and makeup.....Dave just stared at me over dinner trying to figure out what was different, poor guy) but I went and did my paperwork to sub for the school district....desperate to get ouf of the house during the day. But then I created a new recipe.

I made a homemade pesto (with southern ingredients which really isn't pesto huh, but it was green!!!) Then stuffed some chicken breast with it, drapped them bastards in bacon and cooked at 500 degrees. Surprised the crap out of me, but the kids ate and loved every bite. Dave cleaned his plate and they were all looking to the stove for more.....ummmmm didn't make extra, opps. So then while we played us some chicken feet.....I threw together my own recipe for apple crisp. And seriously Dave, Princess, and I ate the entire pan.........a 9x13 pan of apple crisp.......we ate it ALL. I'm kinda ashamed, just kinda. That stuff was the bomb.

So tonight I have to outdo my latest creation. Going simple with a homemade spaghetti sauce made with italian sausage instead of beef and then I'm attempting gluten free apple turnovers. We'll see. Once these kids get on the bus in the morning, I'm going to collaspe....good grief. And I just misspelt that but am too lazy to backtrack. Love me anyway.

So I have two full weeks of school left. 2 birthdays to get my butt in gear on and volunteer stuff lined up at the school. I mean come on..........people I hope you realize it isn't easy staying home. When I worked, I had a nanny who helped out with the house and did the kids' running around until I got home and could switch out with her. Now that I'm running everyone's lives, I'm just as freaking busy. SO I learned my lesson, lol. There are no bonbons here.........although I did watch Oprah yesterday but Dave threatened to disconnect the satelite if I did it again, snicker.....

On that note, I have to go lice spray some mattresses and then start the kids' on homework.

Peace out.........with love

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Oprah is the Anti-Christ.....I knew it!

Apparently all it took for Dave to stand up and annouce it was "time for me to get a job" was watching an episode of Oprah and sending him a little congrats letter on beating the national average concerning the average amount of sex in a month............. ummmm what'd I say wrong? lol.

He really did announce that I could go back to work though, lol. He was like you are not some Oprah watching housewife, do it, pull the trigger. lol

Who knew that that's all it'd take.........?

Except 10 minutes later he was asking me to run him a million errands this next week, so I'm wondering how he'll take the whole job hunt, lol

I'm Exhausted

I am truly beat. The last two days have been a trail. Dave and I enjoyed our vacation time so much but man it left little time for school so the last two days have been a rush to get our work done, done well and turned in. I made it by two minutes last night. Then was so stressed out, wound up I couldn't sleep. I really think that if insomnacs ever joined together and took seige to the world in the wee hours of the morning, we could rule this b*tch. But I finally passed out just to have the alarm go off 3 hours later to get kiddos off to the bus.

I gotta figure out how to reverse my sleep schedule. Urgh.

Anywho, I have a done of things to get done today. I have to plan two yes two birthday parties, I have to clean this house: I swear these kids went nuts. With our heads in the books, trying to keep food available, and juggling everything else, the short people in this house tore this sh*t up. Good lord. I have no clean dishes, pots, or plates and refuse to even glance at the laundry until it's time to wade in.

However, we have managed to sneak, steal or borrow some time to play with our newest toy. Yep, we sucked it up and bought us a chicken foot domino set. We are totally addicted. And I'm winning (we hang the scoreboard on the fridge and play one game at a time, keeping a running tally) which is a miracle cause Duchess is a shark at this game. Really humbling to get your a&& handed to you by a 7, almost 8 year old. Snicker.

Okay, here I go. Watch me be productive.............and try to resist a nap.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

What I do when I can't sleep

Since there are times when I'm zoned out and can't sleep, I look up silly stuff. Tonight's feast of giggles from googling "bad parking notes"......I needed new inspiration cause i keep paper and pens in my console just for this exact reason!!!!! Some of my new ideas, wonder if it's bad taste to pre-write some up just to have handy?

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Honey, I'm Home

I just walked in the door and logged on to do my homework, and now find myself procrastinating ;).

What a wonderful Thanksgiving with the family, only could have been better with my momma there, cause my daddy drove in for a visit from his hunting camp!!!!

We cooked, we ate, we played dominoes, we yelled, we argued, we laughed, we herded kids, we kissed boo-boo's and we all caught up. It was fantastic. However, I didn't find a reason to fork anyone in the head so my mom will be disappointed.

Since we got in late, Murphy is still at the boarders until tomorrow. Sniff my house is empty without my little snot bucket. I miss him.

More tomorrow with tons of pics.


Friday, November 26, 2010


we are just loving this family visit. My nanny and Big Daddy have done quite a few renovations on their new place and we are loving the guest room, just all Southern elegance. The kids are gone off with my aunts shopping and hanging out and Dave is holding the fort with the "menfolk" in front of the tv. Nanny and I are happily cooking ourselves into an afternoon nap. I got sweet potato casserole in the oven, sharing some space with carrot cake. I got two pecan pics ready to put in the oven and it's all gluten free. Loving this!!!!!

Best note of today: my pearl wearing proper nanny uttered the word dammit when my seven year old whipped her butt at dominoes. Snicker!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

I bring the drama where ever I go

So we made it safety yesterday. Well we made it safely to the nearest big city about an hour from my hometown yesterday when the worst contamination I've ever had struck. It started with the normal cramping and then proceeded to sharp pains then drove me to my knees in a fastfood parking lot. Then Dave drove me to the nearest ER where I briefly remember laying in a fetal position crying for some time until the doc on duty got in my face and said there was nothing vital on that side of my stomach so I had to wait for a bed in the ER. The kids were scared, I was scared and felt like someone had shot me in my stomach and Dave was pissed beyond belief. He went for the truck after letting the family know what was doing with me, with the intent of taking me to another hospital in the area. Except as soon as the kids helped me out the ER door, I hit my knees and threw up all over the ER entrance. I literally emptied the contents of my stomach. Yuck, gag and ewwww all in the same thought. But I got enough of the contamination out that I could function. I'm sore and exhausted but we finally made it to my pearl wearing nanny's house. But what a way I have of blowing into town, geeeeez.

So I'm taking it easy and resting alot, but I'm on the mend.

And if you had to visit a Louisiana ER last night and step over vomit to get through the door, sorry. My bad.

Cooking, resting, napping and just hanging out. I do so love being with the family. Best of all, my photo-elusive-step-daddy (daddy of my heart, forever) stopped in from his hunting camp in Arkansas to spend some time with us today. Awesome!!!!!

More soon.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Prepping for Roadtrip

Lousie-nanna here I come. We leave tonight to head back to my old stomping grounds to stay with my pearl-wearing-nanny for the Thanksgiving holiday. I'm so looking forward to cooking with my aunts and hanging with my cousins. Good times they are acoming......and if you know anything about myside of the family, you know there will be a ton of good pics, snort! Cause we b crazy.

So today is shaping up to be much better than yesterday. All day yesterday I had a sharp pain in my tummy, damn contamination. By evening, I was walking hunched over holding it, like I was 112. Luckily I woke up and so far, sweet Jesus, there is no pain. Thank you!!!!!

I have big goals today.

I've already knocked quite a bit off my schedule too:

Arranged/double check Murphy's boarding: done

Clean my bedroom and gather up all the dirty clothes of Dave's that lay where they fall: done

Start laundry: done

Water flowers/take out trash: done

Wake up children: done

Get children started on rest of chores: done

Clean bathrooms/scrub tubs, toilets and sinks: done

Start homework for next week: done

Now to get the rest done:

I have to cook some stuff, bake some bread, clean the kitchen, clean out the truck and get it ready for the trip, pack our bags, made dinner, and finally have house in sparkling condition cause who really likes to come home from a trip to a dirty, nasty house. Um, not me.

We leave tonight at around 9, driving in through the night so the children sleep. Tomorrow we are cooking and hanging out then Friday is the big Turkey day with the fam. So excited. Love hanging out with the people in this world who are most like me.

Only wish my momma would be there...........sigh.......

Monday, November 22, 2010

Tendering My Resignation

I'm so ready for this weekend trip to see my family. I need a re-charge.

Things around here were as hectic as usual.

I spent three hours out and about in traffic looking for the gluten-free flour mix I adore in preparation for the holidays, found 2 bags, that's it. Damn.

I did all my papers and tests for this week and posted next week's first assignments.

I wrangled my kids and their friends (wow, they just show up at the door now unannounced, kinda cool).

I did NO baking like I should have.

I threw down an awesome dinner.

I helped SOMEBODY with their math, I didn't want to, but it had to be done.

I just cleaned the kitchen, packed his lunch and laid out stuff for tomorrow.

It's 10:55 pm

Monday: I'm tendering my resignation........bite me

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Overview: the usual Griswald weekend

I know you're just dying to know how the rest of my weekend went......... snicker, right. But here we go. I'm confident that we are now on top of the LICE (gag) issue. This is only the portion of goodies left on my counter. Ummm the masks are for the sick person (me) who can't smell anything BUT this crap apparently. So far, thankfully the rest of the house is in the clear.

Our Christmas boxes were delievered. We had such a wonderful time with this project. We are going to do it yearly! We jollied it up this year each packing two boxes, one boy/one girl but choosing different age groups. Total out the door cost for giving 8 kids a Christmas plus the shipping/donation of $7/box came to $150. We just got the kids on board and carved it out of the Christmas budget.

We even let the kids' wrap them, hence the AWESOME wrap job, lol.

Lined up like little blurry soilders

Hello Santa's little helper!

And since we had Duchess under treatment, we also had her under a ski cap. And that made her feel bad, so Princess came up with a solution. She and I dug out some of daddy's work bandanas and made do-rags.

And Murphy didn't help at all, but he looks so cute in his "usual" spot napping.

While I was making dinner the other night, Princess jumped in and made some GF garlic biscuits to go with dinner. I love love love how this kid really jumps in and helps out. I also love how confident she has gotten in the kitchen; she does everything from scratch and all by herself. I no longer sit by with the first aid kit, fire extingusher, and 911 dialed in and ready to push talk. Whew!

They were perfection! Not bad for GF!

Otherwise, Princess did have kinda an interesting day. She got busted lying to her daddy over something simple: Did you read for 30 minutes today? Yeah, she blew it on that one. So she had to get up early and mow the yard, water the flowerbeds, water the roses, weed every flowerbed and rose bush, bathe the dog and then she's had to clean the kitchen after me all day. And since I've baked most of the day, that's about 4 times. :)

When asked if she wanted to go with daddy to drop the boxes off, she said no I'm too tired. Then she complained that her back hurt. Snicker.

So I asked her what she learned from her day...

"Lying is painful"

Amen sister!

Now I'm going to be brilliant and write a paper.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Fork Me- I'm Done

I'm sitting here listening to the gentle swish of the dishwasher and ............ nothing else. Finally. Everyone is in bed, even the Murphy. Busy day and finally a little mommy time. Plus I get to sleep late in the morning and I know Dave'll run interferance with them heathens we are raising.

Firstly, Duchess is 99% LICE (gag) and nit (ewww) free. Her hair is gloriously shiny too to boot. I did a run through this evening and found NOTHING. But I'll continue with my little regimine for another two days to be sure and then in 7 days rinse/repeat to make sure sure sure that I've cold heartedly murdered all those nasty little bastards. Yes Your Honor, I meant to kill them and kill them good. Throw the book at me. Just make sure it's the early release of JR Ward's next Black Dagger Brotherhood book, yum.

So we got so much accomplished today it made my head swim. I got 12 loads of laundry done (having to rewash everyones bedding daily sux dude). I baked and then turned out a beautiful roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, deviled eggs and corn on the cob for dinner. And I cleaned the kitchen, where's my medal?

Side note: mastered the best GF recipe yet. Homemade from scratch blueberry muffins. OMG they are so stinking yummy. I just ate two while typing the first part of this post :) Those are going on repeat in this house! Plus when Dave walked in from work, they were fresh from the oven and the house smelled like I good or what?

I cleaned rooms, mopped entire house (hardwood floors rock dude, no carpets!).

I did some school. Biological v. Psychological theories in criminal behaviors. FUN! (not)

We watched a million DVR-ed episodes of House Hunters cause I'm totally addicted to HGTV now.

I planned and started prep work on Princess's bday party. Got to get on Duchess's next.

I finalized Thanksgiving food plans with the fam.

I finalized Christmas plans. We're going to the lake!!!! Oklahoma here we come.

I nailed down the rest of the Christmas shopping I need to do.

I took a call from Dave in the middle of my day and then ran his errands. Try finding a pocket sized bible in a town where the only Christan store is next to the mall and on a Saturday. I cheated and went directly to Barnes and Nobles. Now he'll have his bible to read on his break, right there in his pocket!

I visited Sanicka's house........... oops, that is what we call Sonic. Thanks Uncle Roy, I'll forever call it Sanicka's now.

We wrapped, stuffed, prayed over and labeled our Christmas Shoeboxes. They are ready for dropoff tomorrow. We're doing the tracking option this year so hopefully we'll get emails telling us where our boxes ended up! The kids really were all into this and I love how much love and focus they are giving to the true meaning of Christmas. Can't be raising some me me me grubby whatcha gonna get me kids now can I?

Then we topped it all off with the OU v. Baylor game. Good game, Go OU!

And now I sit here, I'm so humbled by my family. I truly love what an amazing little family the Lord has blessed Dave and I with. Life is good. It's also messy, complicated, frustrating and at times very Griswald-ed, but it's good.

And now I'm crawling into the tub.

Nite y'all

ClusterF$@! Day

Thank the sweet plastic baby Jesus on the dashboard that yesterday is finally over.

The olive oil treatment was rocking. (ummm not to be used on colored hair please, this is my nicey public announcement for the year) The kids' hair is so stinking soft and glossy. Totally run way worthy. While rinsing her hair I noticed that my 7 year old has beautiful, healthy ASS length hair. Wow, didn't realize it was that long as we are the house of simple ponytails. We b real classy like that, plus I never learned how to fix hair so there you go.

Then we did another comb through and she is looking dang good for 24 hours into this. Except, while trying to wash all bedding in HOT HOT HOT water and keep all that going continually we got behind on house upkeep. There are snot rags EVERYWHERE (side note: murphy loves tissues, he eats them like I eat cotton candy, just letting them stick on his tongue and disolve....hummmm wonder if he'll catch my plague now). Medicine and LICE (gag) fighting crap is spread all over the place. The kitchen is trashed, the livingroom is trashed, the bathrooms are all trashed. And......... Dave walks in the door. Crap, I forgot that the man actually gets off at 330 on Fridays. And boy have I really upped my game lately cause he is used to coming home to a well kept, pretty, clean house where food is ready and homework is done and kids are happily playing.....yeah. He walked into "Momma's House" and went into a shocky coma of sorts. Then he turned drill sargent making kids get up from Hannah (gasp) and clean while he helped me with laundry. 10 minutes of this and he announced he was taking us out to dinner (awwww love him) but then Duchess burst into tears. She didn't want to go out in public with a ski hat on because of LICE (gag). So he decided to bring home dinner to us all.

Best of all, since Princess is going to be 12 next month we made a huge step. We left her in charge of both of themselves and I went with Dave to check out the vet's new boarding place down the street and to grab bbq. We were less than a mile from the house at all times but it was so nice to just talk with him and catch up. We came home and the kids were happy, not fighting and proud of themselves. Holy crap, what a huge blessing!!!!!

I have never been so dang tired. Dave and I passed out into a coma at 10 pm and I'm pretty sure he hit snooze a million times this morning before he got up and finally left for a Saturday workday. My lazy butt slept till 7.

While I sit here typing this, the children are wrapped up in do-rags after washing their hair and putting the LICE (gag) shield crap in their hair. So they all smell like a weird combo of crude oil and old lady. Oh and did I mentioned they are currently doing sing alongs with a disc I made them on the tv, Bleeding Love, Beyonce, Who Let the Dogs Out (murphy hates this song, btw), some Jordan Sparks and because I'm a freak some Joan Jett (am I the only feminist left peeps?). The house is rocking so don't come come aknocking. Next up is the 50's cd, woohoo baby.

Now these kids are sending me up to the store for batteries, game controllers are dead. Then we have to clean this house, do more laundry, paint our toenails, have some more karoake time, and we're baking some GF muffins. Yum. I'm seriously trying to get in good graces around here, lol.

Upcoming this weekend, we are packing and wrapping our Christmas shoeboxes for dropping off Sunday. We are planning for our Thanksgiving trip to Lousiana to see my family and trying to get our Christmas planning mapped out.

It's no wonder I'm mentally fizzed.

But I love it.

Friday, November 19, 2010

The Battle is On

We have begun. It's like a redneck version of Mad Max over here. Dave was my hero. He came in from work, ate dinner and then after dinner when we found the LICE (gag) he did the store runs and stayed up some to help me do the treatments. If I wasn't so paranoid about getting lice myself, this whole process would be fascinating. Duchess is actually looking at it from a scientific view: she wants to put the dead bugs under the microscope, this is not from my side of the family, come to think of it, Dave's either.

But the fun part, we are now commencing the soaking of the head. We are coated in pure olive oil and covered/smothered in the ski cap. Die buggies, die. And on the side note: my hands have never been so soft, yummy.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I miss homeschool

Duchess brought home a very special "regular" school gift.

Head lice.

The entire class has it and will be out, all of them missing the big Thanksgiving Day feast. I'm wondering if the teacher did this on purpose? hmmmmmmmm.

Anyway, Dave is the stud. Came in from a long day, ate, then went to grab the stuff, check all our heads, then helped me to treat the only one (so far) who has it...........poor poor Duchess.

She's a little freaked out.

Bless her heart.

And I'm so tired I can't see straight.

Tomorrow will be even more fun as I strive to sterilize the house, bedding, furniture, do another rise and comb through on her head. But first, old school remedy. Soaking her up like a big ass bowl of pasta.....Olive Oil in a hot towel wrap. Gonna sufficate those little nasty bastards. Fun times.

Good thing I've been DVR-ing a ton of HGTV shows to catch up on.

I have Itis

Went to doc finally:

bronchitis - check

tonsillitis - check

sinusitis - check


strep - check

Well F%$* me.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Dog Chains? Really?

So Dave came home from work and walked in about 10 minutes earlier than usual. Traffic must have been light. And as usual, dinner was due out of the oven in 10 minutes. So no hot steaming plate, but hey I was close.

So while the meatloaf was getting that special sweet glaze, Dave helped me take the trash out for the trash peeps tomorrow. And was giving a little grief over dinner not being ready, damn I've spoiled that man.

So he asks if he's ever told me the story his buddy shared with him about when he met his wives grandmother for the first time. She told him that whenever she didn't have a hot dinner on the table when her man came in out of the fields, he'd beat her with a dog chain.

I raised an eyebrow and waited for him to say something. He said, I laugh not cause a woman got hit, but because it sounds like it happened more than once.

He said and I quote: "If someone beat me with a dog chain, it'd only take once to learn that lesson forever"

All I said was:

That's good to know.

I think it took him a minute to get it, lol.

Now where do I pick up some dog chains?



I'm pretty sure my hair is standing on end. Murphy is in heaven as there are used snot rags all around my couch where I've napped, hacked up a lung, and watched tv with no sound all day. Tomorrow I'm dragging my toxic ass to the doctor. I'm just yucked out with myself.

Although I just looked over at Duchess who is wearing the cutest little winter skirt/legging outfit and is currently posted up on the loveseat like a beer bellyed trucker watching some Monday night football. She is covered in chip crumbs, balancing a bowl of salsa next to a big ole cup of tea. Dude, really? Her response "What mom, I love these home shows?".

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Don't Be This Person

When I'm medicated I'm a pain in the a&&. I'm also emotional and cry over everything. For crying out loud, I'm writing a paper this morning watching an episode of Making the Team: Dallas Cheerleaders (tv options are slim my friends, real slim) and I just started boo-hooing when one got cut. I seriously have some issues. Then I cried when I realized that Murphy lost his new chew bone and is doing an ADD run around the house in circles trying to find it. Then I cried cause I realized that I'd forgotten to take my meds on time so I feel even worse than I thought possible while waiting on the cold pills to kick in. Seriously, I'm sick of myself at this point. Thank God that Dave is at work and kids are at school.

But I also made the mistake of opening facebook and seeing this posted from someone who I know is having a really rough year: I cried. I so don't want to ever be this person. Even though few people take the time out of their lives to say the little things that mean the most, I want to be one of the few.

"l'm sorry l haven 't talked to you in so long. l feel l've been lost no bearings, no compass. l kept crashing into things, a little crazy, l guess. l've never been lost before. You were my true north l could always steer for home when you were my home. Forgive me for being so angry when you left. l still think some mistake's been made and l'm waiting for God to take it back. But l'm doing better now. The work helps me. Most of all, you help me. You came into my dream last night with that smile that always held me like a lover, rocked me like a child. All l remember from the dream is a feeling of peace. l woke up with that feeling and tried to keep it alive as long as l could. l'm writing to tell you that l'm on a journey toward that peace. And to tell you l'm sorry about so many things. 'm sorry l didn 't take better care of you so you never spent a minute being cold or scared or sick.I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find the words to teII you what I was feeIing. I'm sorry I never fixed the screen door. I fixed it now. I'm sorry I ever fought with you. I'm sorry I didn't apoIogize more. I was too proud. I'm sorry I didn't bring you more compIiments on everything you wore and every way you fixed your hair. I'm sorry I didn't hoId on to you with so much strength that even God couIdn't puII you away. ''

Don't be that person, say the things now because tomorrow everything may change.

Oh shit, I'm crying again.

More DayQuil for me

Monday, November 15, 2010

8 baths

When I'm sick or feeling crappy, my solution is always the same: I take a hot bath.

I've had 8 today and it's only 5 pm.

Good grief, do you need any more proof that I have a problem with impulse control?

I was suppose to write a paper today. It didn't happen. Blame the meds, but with the plague in full control of self it just wasn't going to happen. So instead I did all the laundry, cleaned the bathrooms, did the grocery shopping, played with Murphy and finished my book. I suck, royally.

So now I'll be up tonight as all I have written on this paper is an outline. It's due tomorrow night, but hey I work well under pressure. I'm gonna need alot of caffine and chocolate.

We are also in the middle of piano lessons as I type this; it's not my turn yet. But since I'm such an OCD control freak, overachiever....I put in two hours of practice today. I really have no excuse other than I want to eventually play well and it's kinda like school; I have to do my very best. I am beginning to bore myself. But I can play Jolly Ole Saint Nick very very well, so ha! My kids? Not so much at all. There, as long as I play better than my kids, I'm good.

I have issues.

** update: I just lysol-ed Dave's laptop, calculator, and was tempted to spray his silverware before he started eating. It's getting rough over here. Princess is looking green and has throat/ear pain. Help!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Plague is Back

The dirty nasty plague is back. I feel like Dave backed his truck over me, twice. Now in addition to feeling horrible, I now have medicine head. Which makes me loopy. Poor family of mine.

My filter doesn't work in these conditions:

In the bathroom at church, I thought the joint was empty as we were late and I had just closed the door when my kid farted really loud, so I did what every mother would do, I yelled "Princess, manners please". Her response: "Was so not me mom". Farter's response: "Excuse me". OMGAWD.

In the truck on the way home from church hashing over Princess getting her butt in serious trouble yesterday and the resulting grounding this week, she made the comment that she didn't want a spanking that she was too old. My response: "Yep, but not too old for a slap across the mouth". Silence. Too honest?

So I came home and put my butt to bed for a big ole nap. And since Dave is a team player, he climbed in and snuggled up to take one with me. Yum. I just love snuggling, especially since it's all the time. No more lonely for me, gonna be a great holidays.

So these people want me to cook now, so plague invested food is underway. Working on a new stuffing recipe in anticipation of Thanksgiving, woo to the hoo. Maybe the germs will burn off in the baking process

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Hello Reality

So we were used to having daddy home for a week then him being gone on the road. He's been home for a week and he's here local for this next assignment. My house is a diaster zone, it's gonna take forever tomorrow to get this place back ship shape. Good grief. I have a really regular schedule that keeps kids busy doing their things, house clean and school done but man, my schedule this week is shot to crap.

And to top it off, I'm getting sick. Dry, scratchy throat equals grumpy mom.

Otherwise it's so cool to have him here. We kinda like him a lot.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Shopping...and more

So last night we had to venture into hell, I mean the mall. Both of the royal children needed jeans and long sleeve shirts now that cooler weather is finally hitting the Gulf areas. This was interesting. Armed with my list, coupons, and knowledge of which stores were having sales, we went forth into the belly of the beast.

JC Penney's: Princess picked up two cardigans (she got her momma's sweater fever) on clearance. Duchess tried on 20 pairs of jeans looking for the ones that hit the tummy, fit the thighs and weren't too long. Poor baby, she was frustrated. Dave throwing options overhand over the top of the stall door at her didn't help. Princess griping cause she was ready to move didn't help and the fact that she was already exhausted didn't help. We had tears, it made me want to knee-cap somebody.

Justice: My super-duper 40% off coupon got busy. Jeans were on clearance, long sleeved shirts, skorts and leggings, sweet. I'm a Justice bandit. Except Dave was ready to burn the store down after an hour of being stuck in the changing stall helping Duchess try on clothes and keep her from picking only things with skull and crossbones on them. Plus the music in that store SUX.

Aeropostale: Hoodies on sale. Since Princess is going through a stage where she takes one to school to wear in her coldass classrooms, we were sick of her wearing the same one over and over. The store STUNK and it's all Duchess could talk about. Good grief.

Hollister: where this story ends. They have a HUGE clearance section, which is the only place I'll purchase items from this store. With my 20% coupon, snicker. So then we found some awesome long sleeved shirts for $12 before my coupon, sweet! Princess was estatic, mainly because she is a huge fan of any shirt or sweater that is soft. She's not picky about her clothing except unless it's soft, she won't wear it.

However it's at Hollister where it was AWKWARD.

As I'm checking out and the kids are posted up in the comfy recliners a little ways away, Dave is studying the huge ass poster behind the checkout area. It's a shirt less purty guy looking all beachy. He looks at it and then looks at the guy checking us out and then goes off about how no guy looks like that in real life, blah blah blah. Oh good lord, shoe on other foot much?

I was seriously like, I'm taking my three bad children home.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Happy Veteran's Day

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Reasons why I don't know whether to laugh or throw something at him:


Me: did you do your discussions:

Him: no, I would have been the first to post

Me: but it's good to set the bar

Him: negative ghostrider the pattern is full

I have promised myself that I'm going to document some of his blurbs, cause he makes me giggle.

I Scare Myself

What a productive day for somebody running on 4 hours of sleep! We were up till past midnight, me helping Dave with his math class and he cursing his math class. Dang math class.

This morning saw us in the "get the kids' butts on the bus on time" run being that we forgot to lay out clothes, pack lunches, and gather books last night as usual. Fun!

Dave got a local assignment so he'll be home for the holidays! Yeah! So he was off to the refinery for a couple of hours this morning.

I got off my butt and cleaned the house. Indulged and watched me some Glee.....snicker: Beast!

I hit Walmart early: grabbed the few things we needed then while standing in line my heart started hurting. I smelled my mom. Turn around and there was a sweet lady unloading her buggy behind me. Before I could think about it, I told her she smelled like my momma. She smiled and said that was sweet. I told her that my momma was in another state and I missed her. So she opened her arms and gave me a huge hug, saying it was from my momma. I smelled like my momma for an hour afterwards. That really lifted my spirits.

On to the primary school, where I was decorating yet another door. This time it was for VET's day. I had a blast. Earlier in the week, Dave and I went to the school with a bunch of military hats and after he taught the kids how to salute, we took their pics. The door was an explosion of little kids saluting! Then they each wrote a sweet note thanking the vets for their service. Tomorrow I'll post pics in honor of Vet's Day. One of my favorite holidays! One of the most deserving recognition days.

I got home just in time for Dave to come in and we hurried up and took a nap. I felt so much better.

We got the kids off the bus and promptly planned our next project. We are doing the Operation Christmas Child, you know....stuff a shoe box for Christmas. We have pledged to do 8 this year and we all hit up Walmart to pass on the blessings. What fun that was! We got everything bought as a family and Saturday night we'll sit down and actually stuff our boxes for drop off next week.

Please, I encourage you.....stuff a shoe box this Christmas for some kid somewhere in this world who won't have a Christmas.

I keep reminding my kids that it's important to spend some time being self-less rather than self-ish! Spread some Christmas love. $15 can really stuff a box peeps!

And now that I'm running on fumes...........I'm gonna go hold down the couch....that sneaky bastard keeps trying to run away!

Hump Day

So man oh man, what amazing week already. Could someone get the plates on that truck that ran my ass over? I'm beat.

Back later today with updates, PTA is calling.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Foot in Mouth

Oh boy, I did it this morning. Lucky for me he thinks I'm cute.

This morning, I had a few errands to run and he wanted to come along. Poor guy. So off we go to the primary school for some PTA errands to get ready for VET's day Thursday. We went in and met with Duchess' class. Dave gave a short talk on Vets and the history of a salute. Then we put each little one in front of a red background and took their picture in one of the four military hats I had, one representing each of the branches of service. So stinking cute. We're going to use them to decorate the door for the Vet parade that will be going through. Each little stinker was saluting properly in their picture. Oh so perfect.

He then helped me rein in a couple of the boys that were so freaking crazy out of control, by reminding them that he outranked them and SIT DOWN. We then went through what outranking meant. He turned the kids over to the teacher with the comment that she'd explain what food chain meant, lol. He ran out of explainations.

But while we were in the school workroom in front of the other pta mom's, I called him "studly mcmuffin" and there was silence.........awkward. Took me a few minutes to realize what'd I done. Opps. He sweetly whispered that if I did that again, he'd rip my spleen out, giggle. Bless his heart, I think I embarrassed him.

But that's okay cause after we left, I got a text from the teacher that it took 15 minutes to explain what a foodchain was, lol.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sunday Recap...Good Lord

Wonderful service at church this morning, really amped me up for the week. Needed that lesson, to wear my love for Christ on my sleeve!

Duchess cracked me up today. She wore a turtleneck dress and then proceeded to come running up to me once we got home with it stuck all up around her neck saying "the shell is strangling the turtle, help!!!!". Then there's the rubber snake that my mom gave her that she keeps leaving around the house to scare the living crap out of me, this time it was in the glass bowl where I keep my keys and sunglasses, the little snot.

Princess has been a huge help this week, not sure what she wants but I'll take it!!!!

Dave also broke the news that Duchess will learn this year that there is no Santa.............. um excuse me? I'm not ready for that........ oh boy.

Oh and speaking of Dave, he came through my door 2 seconds ago........gotta run. He's home!!!!!!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

House Full

I have a headache.

I'm grumpy.

My kids are having playdates.

I'm making cupcakes and bugers for 6 little girls.

I've lost my mind.

But I'm having fun..........

Friday, November 5, 2010

Be Careful What I Wish For

I really gotta be careful with my prayers. Although I really wish I had the sense of humor to go with my blessings.

I got up this morning and lost my mind. Winter has officially come to South East Texas. Good grief, I got up to colder than a witches you know what outside, but after taking Murphy out for a quick tinkle and literally drug him back inside cause I was freezing. That's when I realized it was colder in the house than outside. Shit! This is a problem. I'm already always cold anyway, dang anemia. The heater was on and running but it was below 60 in my house.

I could see my freaking breath. I was like Puff the Cranky Dragon. So I did what any good mom would do. I clicked on the girls' bathroom heater, drug them from their beds at 555 am and tossed them into the bathroom with a picnic breakfast and their school clothes. The ran them out of the house just as the bus was pulling up. Getting them on the bus was seriously like herding wet cats but I managed.

My poor landlord (you know I ain't buying again till we sell in Utah and finally pick a place to stay forever....cause we b pikeys) was having a rough week so I volunteered to attempt to figure out the problem via phone. I climbed into the attic (without falling off the attic ladder this time!!!!!) and flipped switches on the furnace thingy, I checked breakers and using a butter knife repeatitively smacking the thermostat..... nothing. Shit.

And the reason he couldn't get an AC/Heat person to call him back?

Ummmmm it's opening day of deer season....... in south east Texas. Hell, I'm pretty sure some of the locals drug themselves out of a hospital bed to strap on the camo. It's a pretty big deal here.

Finally, we got a guy out here... took him 11 minutes to go from truck to house door though cause he was old and creaky like my Great Aunt Hazel's rocker. But he fixed the heat, woohoo.

And now it's Miami in this b*tch.

So really, remember to be careful what you pray for........... good grief, I'm gonna have to sleep in my bikini.... snort, right like I own one.

Excuse me, I gotta put more sunscreen on the kids.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Stress = Blah

I just love me a big ole steaming bowl of stress.

I'll not be asking for seconds....

I'm eatting stomach pills like crazy.

AND, to make matters worse I've gotten hit up to head the vet day door decorating contest.

My mood just went from unhappy to royally moody as shit.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

This Song Really Explains Alot

Never ever wearing a skirt when I go dancing with Dave!

I hate Houston

Driving through Houston freeways is a nightmare. People can't drive in that city, period. Then there are the construction trucks that splash water up on your car in the rainy predawn morning driving by at 100 mph. Except it apparently wasn't water, it was NEON GREEN paint. It goes all down and over my car. Didn't realize it till I was 150 miles away.


So I'm the one out in the rain this morning, gently working my car over with a cotton ball and some paint thinner getting the green paint removed.

Good grief.

The only drawback to a fabulous weekend.

One word: Griswalds

Monday, November 1, 2010

What Every Girl Needs:

Everyone should shack up in a hotel room with their man..... but since I'm a little different, I had luggage, I mean kids and luggage ;).

 Dave finished his assignment in Northern Oklahoma and was on his way home when he got a call. He needed to reroute and head to North Dakota (poor baby is gonna get freaking cold). So after we headed off to treat and play games at the church with some of Princess's friends/parents we all met up at my house to regroup for a trip to the local Haunted Barn.
 Except my phone rang. And he said, get rid of everyone and pack your bags. I got a hotel room in Dallas, be there or be square. And we ain't square in this family peeps. (okay, I'm square normally, but he really brings out the outlaw in me) So we got rid of everyone (they were so cool about it, told me to go to my man) and we packed our crap. Dropped Murphy off at the plush amazingly cool doggie daycare place on our run through Houston and headed North to THE BIG D.
 The best part of our entire trip was getting there an hour ahead of him. We had this amazing room with a parent's suite which gave us our own bedroom and the kids in their own area, HELLO mommy was so on board with that. But seriously, we dropped our bags and ran to the indoor pool. Which means Dave gets there and had to work hard to convince the sweet old man at the front desk to give him our room number and room key. Ummmm the room was in HIS name too, hysterical. Sweet old man was convinced that he was protecting me and the girls, lol. Nice to know he was trying to keep that hot studmuffin out of my room, but really. So finally instead of calling to say he was here, he burst into the poolhouse making my day. The room just lights up when he pops in smiling. Sigh.........
We watched tv, pillow fought all over the place, ate dinner together like a normal family, and just really enjoyed our 24 hours together. I got to snuggle finally and since he's used to close quarters didn't even get mad when I hogged the entire bed, woohoo.

Although in my rush out the door, I forgot my jewelry. The ever-present pearl earrings and my wedding rings. Opps. His response was at dinner when he threatened to loudly tell the hostess to seat us in the back corner since he wasn't there with his wife and he was quite known in this area of town. The turd, luckily we had kids so he couldn't majorly embarrass my arse. I might not get so lucky next time. He's gonna end up tattoo-ing those damn rings to my forehead. Although after 14 years, I'm pretty sure they are already tattoo-ed somewhere up there.....

So then he packed me into my car, and I cried all the way to the Dallas city limits sign.

I'm such a pansy.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

My Halloween Costume...

Well I can't decide:

Choice 1: a box of cheerios and a butcher knife = cereal killer


Choice 2: the Utah mom: drugged out hollow eyes, perfect outfit, hair, makeup and minivan.....

Crap, too much work, I have  no idea where to get a minivan at this late hour.

Friday, October 29, 2010


So during one of our soul searching calls tonight, my BFF and I were discussing our fear of heights. And she threw out a comment someone told her about people with a fear of heights:

it's not a fear of's a fear of jumping

Holy crap. Really think about that for a second. Does that mean cause I'm scared of heights, that I'm literally standing on the mental edge? Worrying about jumping off........

Geeeeeeezzzzzzzz. Now I can't get that out of my head. Eeeeek.

In other news, we got a big blessing today. When we thought Dave's assignment that was ending today would be his last until the new year. But the Lord works through others to bring you opportunities. So he's heading to a new assignment, where if it works out he'll be doing his thing. I'm just thankful that he has the chance to do his thing.

This week in my ethics class we are discussing and doing essays/projects on the concept that we are not an island. Our lives are interdependent on the lives of others around us, therefore we should treat everyone around us as an end, not just a means to an end. Thought provoking, especially when you consider that it was because of one of our friends who put his name before this other assignment. What a huge amazing blessing. It's crazy because it really does prove the theory that we are not an island.

Wow, that crap is deep.

Gonna go eat a butterfinger and take a bath.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Since I'm On the Subject


I'm also.... ALMOST sorry that in high school I tackled you in the Jitney Jungle backing you into a display of canned veggies.

But I really did want to go to that dance.

However, in your shoes I would say no, too.

Still, how many good baptist southern girls can say that they had a cat fight in the local grocery store with their momma?

None, cause we b one of a kind...

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Wow, lesson learned

 So in July of last year my kid went into surgery, removing her tonsils. It wasn't an unforeseen thing and it was done pretty quickly so we just did what we had to do. Yet another reason why God left me in Utah, my momma was onsite.... really gotta make a plan to get me and my parents in the same area again... but when my mom sent me some pics I dug these out. And damn near cried, more on that later.

My baby did great. She came out healthy and everything went smooth. She even felt well enough to play cards in the recovery room. Ummm please don't think that we be gamblers and such (come on, we b baptist yo), cause we just really like to play. Rummy, gin rummy, poker, push. We'll kick your ass. But not for money, cause we don't run like that...remember baptist.

But a few short months after this incident, my momma was in the same position. Standing over her daughter in a hospital bed. It really breaks my heart to realize that those fears and loss of control I felt when it was my baby in that bed, was magnified to my mom when I had to have my life changing surgery.

Here's to momma's.

The good ones. The ones who will kick your ass when you need it, regardless of your age. The momma's who will kick someone else's ass if they cross you. The momma that will drop everything and run, just because you sound like you might need her. The momma that will never let distance be of any importance in your relationship.

So momma, I'm your mini-me in so many ways but if I ever go to be half the woman you are...the world had better watch their back. Not only do I wanna be just like you, but I hope that my kids see me as I see you.

Your favorite daughter
(cause the other one doesn't count, snicker)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Long Week

I've had a really long week. It's kick my butt week apparently and everyone was notified except me. Rudeness I tell you, just plain rude.

I'll be back in a few days when I don't feel like running someone over with my car.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Dangerous Combinations

School board and me.

Transportation directors and me.

Scissors and me.

Sigh........ what a long day already.

I'm bored to tears and every weekday is starting to bleed together.


Friday, October 22, 2010

I'm A Mess, really

So this blog has for so long been an outlet for me, today it's a very necessary outlet. I was so scared and my tummy is still a mess. But it ends okay, so don't worry.

Today was early release cause teachers need to get report cards together. My kids were getting off the bus two hours early. We were going to a movie then on to cheer.

They were 3 minutes late, no bus in sight when my phone rang. It was Princess. She said my name and then nothing, but I could hear men in the background. And sirens. Then a paramedic identified himself and told me:

My kids were in a bus accident and one's neck was hurting. I need to either come get them at location or give release for them to transport.


My kids are okay. One was at the front of the bus and is just fine. Duchess was a little scared and the policeman taking their info wasn't friendly or even nice, the prick but she was okay.

Princess was at the back of the bus when it was rear ended by another bus. Her bus was sitting still and the other bus rammed them from the back sending all the kids slingshot forward.

She has whiplash and a nice fat medical bill.

The school district has yet to call, even to notify me about the accident, nothing. I'm pissed beyond belief. The district is trying to keep everything low key and at 5 pm word with the neighbors was that they had just gotten around to calling to tell people why their kids were almost an hour late and that the kids were in an accident.

She's stoned right now with meds from the doc and I'm hoping tomorrow won't be too bad. The doc said the second day was always the worse.

Monday morning I have a date with the school board. You may want to pray for them.

Now I'm gonna go get my babies ready for bed and then I'm going to eat some pepto and tummy pills.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Oh I Suck

So I'm currently learning a very basic beginner piano song:

What do you do with a drunken sailor

That is the song name, not revisiting some of our military years, lol. But seriously everytime I look at the title of this song, really obscene things go through my mind.

I suck!

Back to drunken sailors I go.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Princess: Rare sighting!

This makes my heart sore.....

The Eternal Student

I heart school.

I really do enjoy going to school. I could become the perpetual college student. Today begins my new set of classes. I'm taking 3. I usually take 2 but since I'm carrying a great GPA I qualify for 3 at a time.

So I was giddy when I sat down today with my books. I mapped out all my duedates and deadlines on the family calendar. I went through each week of each class making up my study guides, pulling all the topics I'll have to write discussions on (the better to research ahead of time and write up notes) and posting all my autobib inform.

I'm a geek.

I'm an unapologetic geek too. I love school. It's really sad that I'm down to the last few classes before my degree too. Sigh.....

Now I have something to do late at night when I can't sleep. See I've found that my key to good grades is to work ahead. I always work ahead one week. This gives me leeway in case I'm sick, the kids get the pox or worse, a surgery or family emergency slips in there unannounced. So this week I'm doing two full weeks worth of school.

I love it.

I have issues.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Fall Colors

Once again, I likey what Mr. Lance and I come up with.... he speaks my language. Dave likes blonde, I like red.... and there you go

Monday, October 18, 2010

Bringing Sexy Back

After being married for 14 years, can I just say that I'm here to show you what sexy is.....

Murphy inspired, scottie dog jammies.

(not to be worn to Wal-Mart)

I'm bringing sexy back peeps. One set of flannel jammies at a time.....

Forget lace and see through crotchless panties, that b nasty and tasteless!

This is where it's at.

Seriously though, this is where my sweet hubby raises his eyebrows cause he's used to seeing me in mixmatch clothing out of his closet to sleep in.

Sigh, I remember when I used to have hot sleepwear...then kids started coming into my bed in the middle of the night.........Dave and I have doubled our evening wardrobe.

One day those babies are gonna go off to college and it's gonna be like dating all over again. Hmmmm, something to look forward to.

My doctor loves me

I'm a walking ball of medical issues. So I'm Vitamin D and B deficient thanks to my Gluten-Free lifestyle, hello massive amounts of pills (oh god not the shots, please not the shots). Tested negative for Lupas, woohoo.

Now I have yet more appointments to get my system straight, I tell you....who knew that blogging my hysterectomy (see archives for that fun reading, seriously it's fun, swear) would still continue a year later. Today is the one year mark, and recovery is still ongoing. Oh the major stuff is all good to go but you're body does take forever to get all the kinks out of the system....blood pressure, iron levels, etc. Drama.....good grief, it's a good thing I have such an awesome sense of cynical humor.

I'm still planning on giving the dr office the finger every time I drive by though, just on principal.

Hello new week

My goal this week is to be uber productive. I need to get that dang table I bought sanded and prepped for staining. I need to cook during the day and free up my afternoons for the kiddos. I need to finish organizing the closets for cooler weather. I need to dry clean the jackets. I need to ...... verbal vomit. Good grief. I have alot of crap to do.

Dave is a happy man after spending all of yesterday hunting up on the Kansas line. Best part about his crew being on this OK job, prime hunting locales for their one day off. So glad that he gets a break to have a fun day in the middle of bursting his tush for us.

Sweet italian sausage cooking on the stove, I'm making a big ole pan of zitti for dinner. Eggs boiling, gonna make some deviled and some potato salad for the week. I gotta get moving, tummy feeling like Bosnia for not.

Tomorrow is hair day with Mr. Lance, but I'm thinking of putting it off for a roots aren't bad at all. :) Although they are looking a little red considering the dull brown the rest of my head is. This is what I get for going conservative in order to make up for the bleach blonde barbie look of the summer, lol.

Off to sand a table. Pray for me. I have 9-1-1 on speed dial.


Who puts wheat into vanilla ice cream?


The bastards.

Spent all weekend sicker than a dog. Not to be gross, but I lost 3 lbs too. Shsssh.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Does It Count?

We're not trying to be heathens but between mine and Princess's tummy things going on this morning and a snotty sniffly Duchess... we're thinking of watching church via live online streaming. Instead of driving 42 miles one way.

Does it count?

Or do we suck?

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Latest GF Creation: Blueberry Cobbler

Do you know someone Gluten-Free?

If you do, please be a big ole sweetie and earn some heaven them a box of Gluten-Free Bisquick Mix.

It's the shit.


I buy a case at a time. They run about $3.50 a box and each box is about 3 cups but man, the world of cooking really bloomed again for me when I started using this treasure.

I've made:
peanut butter cookies
blueberry crumble
garlic/cheesy biscuits
pizza crusts
apple crisp
apple pie
chicken and dumplins
pie crusts

If you're comfortable with baking, there is a million things that you can do to adjust just about any recipe to make it Gluten-Free. No more making my own flour mixtures for every recipe....don't get me wrong, I still have it on hand for those recipes that I can't adjust but man oh man... I can't tell you how long it's been since I've had breadsticks. BREADSTICKS.... gluten-free.......sigh.

So spread some love.

And send a love letter to Bisquick if you're a GF baker like me, cause it's a beautiful thing. Brings a tear to the eye of this extremely cynical person.... sniff.

I Bake

So when I'm having a day where I'm feeling a little lost: I bake. That soothes me and reminds me that I'm good at something (plus the upside is sugar tends to make me less grumpy these days). While I love being with my babies and putting them first constantly, sometimes I get a little lost in the shuffle....moving around my house like Lurch during the times when they are at school and Murphy is napping in the sunshine glow of the front windows.

I made an amazing Gluten-free apple crisp the other day. Then made it 3 more times cause it was so good!

Today I'm making a GF blueberry crumble.

Cross your fingers, not everything turns out well but I'm trying. Gotta try and fail a few times to really succeed.

Last night we got creative and made homemade chicken strips (fried, a treat for my house) and it was so dang good I promptly overate.

But I'm digging this new metabolism thing cause I'm seriously eating better but still maintaining my smaller size. Just this week, I weeded through all my work/church clothes and boxed up all the huge things for goodwill.

So since I'm having a blurry week, I'm baking up a storm. I have all the ingredients for carrot cake cupcakes for tomorrow as well. Ummmmmm, yummy. The best thing about baking from scratch is that I can reduce the amount of sugar and bad stuff in my desserts while still keeping the flavors. Plus I send them as desserts in my kids' lunches each school day, better than Little Debbies for sure!

I'll post pics however this blueberry thing turns out............but I'll eat it either way. I love me some blueberries.

Friday, October 15, 2010

I'm A Bad Person

I left the town pep rally midway. As in not even waiting till the band performed even though they have a show band that is really really good.

I'm a bad person.

So it began at 5. Free rides on the L-train, facepainting, cake walks, booths of games, bouncys, and was Homecoming on steriods. Seriously, everyone in this little Texas town is all about high school football. So my little girls were running around in red/blue with their pony's bouncing and face painted. Princess had a friend ride the bus home with her and then I played mean mom and made them study for a social studies test. Then I quizzed them before we headed out to the festivities. I met little friends' parents there and between the three of us we managed to keep tracks of 4 little kids in some seriously redneck crowds.

But at 7, the pep rally started. Held at the football fields, they had fireworks, drill team, cheerleaders (jr high and sr high), footballers, bands, and etc. It was alot of productions going on. I made it through the intros and the drill team.

Then it was either leave with my headache or shove that damn cowbell up the lady behind me's behind. She didn't give that damn thing a rest at all.

The high note is that since we left early, we had no trouble getting out and getting home. But I could tell when everyone else headed home cause my dark sweet street was lit with a parade of lights.....