Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!

Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!


Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this us....


This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public


My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Friday, August 31, 2007

Flash Friday

Thank you dear sweet co-worker who shared the stomach bug with me, I'm thinking of you even now as I attempt to keep ice cream down. Cause seriously what is the joy of throwing up if you can't eat non-diet food....ask the hashbrowns I had for lunch...yum

However, we've had a good week, between ballet, soccer practice and pre-holiday games we've managed to stay on schedule. So we're rewarding ourselves, with a trip to the mountains this weekend.....
I just love waterfals, there are a ton in this state....also now that I think about it, there are a ton of round abouts too....Redlights people, just use redlights!!!

This just makes me happy! You?

Ever really stop and look at all the crap on your fridge? Man....classy we are not...I'm seeing Dora post it notes, school and soccer schedules, notice my color coded monthly schedule, that is how I stay sane people!!!! James Dean magnet, cause sex and food go hand in hand and if you look real close and pay close attention you'll see the ONE and ONLY wedding picture I have from when I shackled myself (I mean blissfully wed) The Man....see it? What's on your fridge?
So see you after the long weekend!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

She is Mistreated....

Recently Duchess began soccer. This is actually her first year doing any activity, she now has tumbling and soccer. She is joining Princess in the efforts to bring the parents to their knees through extra-curricular activities.

She was very very excited about soccer. So we got a coach and we got a schedule and we got a uniform. They are the dragons, woohoo!!!! Breathing fire and all that jazz....

So before the first game, she was very excited......
Until she realized that the coach expected her to actually run....excuse me? Run? Me? Do you know who I am?
So The Man stepped in and gave the pep-talk! Lots of loving coaxing words and when that failed her threatened to beat her and when that failed he bribed her with a sucker.....

This didn't work either. So in protest she decided to just play with her hair, while standing in one spot on the field....the entire game.

Until she saw us doing the frantic hand gestures and the big fake smiles, You know the ones.... "GO DUCHESS, COME ON HONEY RUN!" yelled through gritted teeth.... So she stood there so very sad behind the coach. Miserable.......not moving at all.....until she tugged on the coaches jacket causing her to quickly squat down to see what was the could hear it clearly across the field.....
"Can I get my trophy now, I want to go home......."

Monday, August 27, 2007

Relaxing Day At the Gym

So The Man and I realized the other day that perhaps we need some mommy/daddy time...away from our little ones....I'm thinking a cruise, but it'll have to wait till after we get our house.

However, this epiphany came while we attempted to take our kids to the gym. So we found a great racquetball court that has "waiting rooms" for the kiddos so they can kick back in some lounge chairs, slip a cold juice and watch some TV while mom and dad get their sweat on....

Or so you would think.....
We had two racquet's, notice who has them. That's right, the girls. Who are rocking the latest gym wear, orange and lime~ The Man poor guy, just played bare handed. This impressed me so much, I actually got up from the lounge chair, put down my cold juice and went to dig out the camera.
Then when he took a small break, they took over the entire court. By now they have realized the acoustic quality of the court. They are singing "Crazy Eddies Last Hurrah"...cause there is no better parenting sign than your girls screaming about "double fisting longnecks" and "pipe bombs just for fun"...
Then it got a little cutthroat....and we figured it was gonna happen sooner or later but at this point, kids have to be kids...
And that lounge chair was comfy and the juice was cold and Daddy Daycare is a great movie for gym time....

Duchess caught a raquet upside the head...while Princess kept on playing. So it was The Man to the rescue. I felt I should at least document the accident in case daycare called about the goose egg on her forehead.

So she sat the rest of the game out, with the big ole comfy lounge chair, with our shoes off, drinking cold juice and watching TV. She and I have totally decided to do this each week, we're dedicated!
Cause that is exactly what you should do when you go to the gym....

Saturday, August 25, 2007

I Bore Myself!

This is a good reason why I shouldn't be left home along on a saturday night...after the kids are asleep, and I can't shop online.....I find things to do after I OCD clean the entire house.....

There is really no excuse for this.....I'm obsessed now..........
So I am seriously looking for a new hair style....sigh, should I try bangs? I haven't had bangs since ohhhhh 1997?

Friday, August 24, 2007

Racking up the Points

They shouldn't let me go out in the hubs was at work training this morning and since he works down the street from me, very cool co-winky-dink, he swung by so we could hit up the bookstore for some new reading materials for Princess!

We ate on the way there and upon pulling up out front in his new-old-Bronco I started packing up lunch into a trash sack. I then noticed that half of the crumbs from my sandwich went straight down my shirt and were gathered, and quite itchy. So I went to remove them and The Man had that husband look on his face so I just offered....

Do you want to lick them out or can I just shake them out?

Said while holding shirt out and looking down at the crumbs gathered in what cleavage I do have....

He smirked and smiled obviously behind me, and I turned slowly, in slow motion, very slowly, to stare out my open truck window at the OLDER THAN DIRT old lady standing at her car door RIGHT BEHIND ME looking at me in total horror....

While I'm still holding my shirt down and out in the crumb removal position....

Damn crumbs still itch!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Keeping A List

We live in such a conservative area that I sometimes gain the most immature pleasure out of shocking the utter shit out of total strangers....(now, I have family members who are reading this and just nodding to themselves at this point, cause face it, I never change!)

Immature, yes but oh so much fun. Especially when The Man jumps in like second nature to join the conversation.

At lunch today, we had such a nice time. Almost like a date, until the left side of my arse fell asleep causing me to limp across the packed, crowded foyer of the area where we lunched. Then he called me "Gimpy" and hurried me along, which made people frown very ugly at him cause he was obviously mistreating the limping, disabled lady! But I digress,

So as we're strolling along to his truck a nosy lady behind us is walking so close to me that I can feel her hot breath on the back of my neck.

How many people can fit all the following in a short 15 second conversation: fat-sex, no sex, procreation, beaten up, peni5, the weather, parking and fat rolls?

It's a talent, and knowing that one of us can preform CPR is also handy....just in case she actually needed mouth to mouth when she started ain't polite to be nosy!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

(Oldie but Goodie)

The Reason I Have Love Handles

One thing I love to do with my girls is bake. I like to think that I'm passing on a love of all things high fat and yummy calories but in reality, I want them to be proficient in the kitchen. My mom taught me the importance of measuring (Southern style people....dash of this, pinch of that, scoop of this, teeny little bit of this day I can't give anyone a recipe for cornbread, I just have to make it), chopping, and preparation techniques~ cooking makes me happy.

Plus it kept The Man and I from starving the first year of our marriage when all we could afford was flour, cornmeal, cream style corn, hamburger meat and baking have no idea how much I can make with those few items. Lord willing I will never have to prove it to you ever again either~

So I try and squeeze cooking time in wherever I can. Since I work and my photo-elusive-step-dad does alot of the cooking during the week, tonight I threw together a big ole pan of homemade zitti and stashed it in the fridge...this way, The Man can put it in the oven, brown some rolls, butter some beans and toss together a salad and woohoo major yummy meal!

But since today was the girls' first day back to school, it made sense to make some oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies too....scratch the chocolate chip though cause Duchess finally fessed up to eating the ENTIRE 12 oz bag of I gathered ingredients while Princess read her daily 20 minutes to me. Then we all jumped in.

The lovely thing about oatmeal cookies is that you can add everything (pecans, walnuts, raisens, peanut butter or chocolate) to them or add nothing at all and they still make you want to waller around in the creamy butter mixture that is the dough, or that could just be me.....

However, my usual recipe went awry somewhere, think it was with the pinch of baking powder, guess I pinched too much cause this monster took over the pan. I actually had to cut state boundaries into this thing!

Duchess wasn't complaining though, just really happy with the end results. Although the sour stomach from too many chocoalte chips resulted in very little actual cookie making it into her mouth.

Princess didn't seem to have that same problem. She was putting cookies away faster than I could carve them off the continent they grew into on my baking sheets. Can I mention how much I love baking paper? Hello mess-less cooking!

In the end, this is the beauty that will call to me tonight as I strain myself into crunches and situps to remove evidence of my batter indulgence! Oh and that darn recipe made four sheet fulls, good thing I was smart enough to email The Man pictures of the end results, he'll come home from work and head straight for the bowl! I love him, he saves me from myself!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

First Day Blues

I remember my first day of 3rd grade. I walked to school that morning with my mom and I was wearing the most awful polyester lime green outfit, cause that was what kids wore back then. It was a good day, nothing dramatic and nothing horrible, just another day.

Now Princess can't live without the drama so her first day of 3rd grade was anything but another day....

After staying up last night to add money to her lunch account online, lay out clothes, lace up new shoes, complete info packet per teacher request, pack and label supplies and wash all that hair of hers....

I wake up to her not liking the outfit I laid out....excuse me? I am fashionable, I am! I know what looks good and what doesn't, turns out she didn't want to wear the shirt tucked in and the belt....with the skort. Okay, so ditch the belt...then the skort falls to her ankles, not good. Skinny little thing, she is.

So I let her pick out something else, then when she did the Urkle pants thing, I changed that child of mine will look like that! So I then put her in a striped shirt with plaid pants and a pink belt....she took one look in the mirror and burst into tears....

Then quickly put the original outfit back on. We made up over me fixing her hair and we skipped to the bus stop hand in hand (seriously, shut up!) me in my high heels and her in her cute new shoes.

Now, why I got upset over this, I have no idea. It took a few hugs from The Man who walked in on the whole mess to get over the fact but I then felt fine....

What really bothers me is that I saw myself clearly this morning....I am that person who gets up every morning and tries on 8 things before I finally throw my hands up and leave the house....frustrated.....and now my daughter is clearly following in my footsteps!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Manic Monday

The start of a glorious new week....yet once again all I could think about this morning was pulling over and buying a pack of smokes at the store on the way to work. It's been over 65 days, this week in particular has been very very difficult....I can't stop at my usual store for even a coke now cause I do not trust myself!

Here are the reasons I've convinced myself so far not to give in.....

1. The Man will kill me, he expressly told me this already, in very unpleasant terms! (Me thinks he would secretly love me to start again, then he could!)

2. My children would be disappointment in me....if they found out....

3. My work would sack me. They are awesome people but I do not see them tolerating a smoker in the office, as small of a firm as it is.

4. I would stink, again.

5. Smoker lung when I attempt to exercise or even climb stairs (nasty nasty cough)

So this is the top 5....I'm thinking that perhaps I have a slightly addictive personality....maybe this is why I have such a hard time dumping Dr. Pepper for Diet! And why smoking still looks very very good to me, when it's a slam dunk "duh" for other people! Boy, it's a good thing I never tried smack, or crack or whatever they call it!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Flash Friday....

No you perv, there isn't anyone nekkid here, just a quick overview of our week! Cause we all know that I'm running behind, school starts next week and I am so not ready, still washing camp clothes (that could explain the smell...hmmm) and well on....
Christmas shopping has started. I'm very proud of myself as this is an early year for me. As both of my girlies have birthdays the WEEK of Christmas, I am always broke in December. The Man and I are trying something new, you know, purchasing things and spending money ahead of time! It'll be here before you know it, have YOU started yours yet? Princess is gonna love these army mary janes, she is a shoe nut like her momma.....

The Man bought this truck yesterday. I'm liking it....this isn't my house so don't ask to borrow the camper! We are selling his Dodge truck so if anyone wants it, give me a hollar! This baby is automatic so I can drive it without the fire department following me burnt clutches anymore!

Finally got a little rain this week, the sky decided to spit on us a little. I love a good mountain storm, even a quick one. Lightening, thunder, little old ladies running outside in their moo-moo's to drag in their porch plants.......sigh.... home

This is evil and you can't tell me that Satan didn't invent FICO and all things mortgage and credit paperworthy! The paperwork and amount of pre-mortgage work is insane...I hate numbers!

This seems important today cause I am really feeling it this week....I even briefly thought about bumming one from an old man outside Wal-Mart the other day....this is how far I've fallin.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Hannibal Lector Lived There

So today on my lunch, The Man met up with me to go look at a nearby house that had popped up twice in our househunting we're very very early in the process here.

It is the house of Mr. Lector....completely normal on the outside and normal on the first three floors (split-level).....

It was the completely underground level beneath the garage with three tiny bedrooms and a butcher's closet (complete with drain the concrete floor) that did it for me..........

It doesn't help that the entire way back to work, The Man kept announcing "It puts the lotion on it's skin".....

Monday, August 13, 2007

Houses on the Brain

Well we've begun the "neighborhood hunt"....meaning, we've decided to start our house hunt by picking neighborhoods first....We've picked three locally....

Then I get online and find some houses I'd like....can you guess what these below all have in common?

A. this lovely has an incredible back yard (not seen here)...small but adequate....lovely trees and a veggie garden to boot.....Oh about 22 miles from my house
B. Mature trees and an oversized lot here......important when you consider the desert we live in. This is about 35 miles from my current home.....

C. Simple yet huge house! Baby has six freaking bedrooms! Hello you split level beauty, I could plant so much stuff in your barren front make up for six lovely separate bedrooms, I could have an office, my own room, an office, a kids' room, an office, another kids' room, and a workout room/office.....51 miles from home

D. She has most of what I want....except a big kitchen....note the upper balcony and the flag pole...sniff sniff....down right patriotic! I could live here, except the horrible mowing pattern in the grass is giving me a headache.....58 miles from here....

E. the house that I would built....this has it all, big ole yard, it is NOT a cookie cutter home...looks nothing like the rest of its neighbors...this is important as I'm not a cookie cutter person, ask to see my toe tricks! Back to the house....porch, landscaping that is un-killable! This is the house that makes my whole self sigh...if only you could see the inside pictures!...and it is a whooping 102 miles from here.....
So what do each and everyone of these houses have in common....
They all cost the exact same thing!
Which should explain how freaking cheaper the houses get, the further you drive from my community.....
And I hate a commute....
Figures, just Farging Figures!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Lazy Sunday Coming Down...

Church bound....more drama to come bright and early on Monday. :)

Every blog should have a toliet picture in it, Princess is assisting Duchess with her shoes, here...

She's Back!!!!

My heart has returned. What a tough week....Princess was gone to Science camp and I was beside myself all week. But man oh man do prayers get answered....what an independent confident little girl I picked up this morning! As promised I was one of the first cars at the gate this morning at 0:dark-thirty to pick her up! This was accomplished by driving everyone else in the house nuts so I could leave here on time....opps.

Since I couldn't bear to actually talk about my oldest and firstborn who left me for a week....till now, when she is actually home, snoring in her bed....Here you go! Science camp=

Dropping her off was great. Just me and her, I even took the whole day off work and away we went. We had a blast. It was the perfect beginning!

Camp was amazing. Very rustic yet gorgeous...till they told her she wasn't sleeping in the buildings, that her "tent" was out back, in the trees, with the animals....
She did not freak, much and went on to kiss me briskly and order me to leave, at once! Sniff.

So today was very exciting. I get there and whoa, my girl is one dirty little thing! Apparently they conserve water there, two showers in one week, whew! The Man actually thought this was freaking awesome, go figure. So here she is (above) giving Duchess the quick trip to the INDOOR potty....yeah cause there are alot of OUTDOOR ones thank you, Duchess assured her. lol

The whole way home, The Man's response to everything was "well she's a mountain girl now" or "Well what do you expect, she is hard core now"....

Then we got introduced to the animals....the shown the lodge where they ate and after learning that Princess was in charge of assigning chores and capers, I came home and quickly posted a similar chart, yeah baby! She mops!

So I have my girl back. One who sang and cheered the entire way home, one who had a whole bag full of wet, dirty clothes, a sleeping bag that was way stinky, and a story about a squirrel that kept attaching the inside of their tent ( I was shown the teeth marks, very impressive little teeth Mr. Squirrel camp for me!) and no ticks!

Sigh, I'm starting to recover, although I got my limit of hugs fairly quickly, I was told to "stop now, mom" geez.... Now, she wants to go to horseback riding camp for 2 WEEKS next summer, "Could you hurry up and sign me up please...before all the good tents get gone?" Sigh!

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Duchess Ponders Her Future

With Princess at camp (OMG they haven't called me yet, she just might make it), Duchess has had plenty of mommy/daddy time. Woohoo! We've had ice-cream dates and tickle-fest but the best is the three of us riding around in daddy's single cab truck.

What a cute view.....(note that The Man's porn mustache is gone now though, he finally shaved!!!! I had to buy him a new scope but it was totally worth it!)

So we're driving along....when Duchess ponders this:
I don't want a husband!
The Man is quite happy with this idea and praises her decision.
After college she would like to own a house with lots of flowers and two dogs. Then she sat thinking and wanted to know who would mow her yard though if she didn't get married....(notice the automatic delegation of man duties...I'm raising her right!).????
The Man volunteered stating that this was an easy trade off. Promised that her flowers and yard would be the best in the town.
That made her quite happy and they discussed this for some time. Then she wanted to know who would clean her toliets (notice the automatic disqualification of woman duties....yet again, I'm doing a great job) ?
The Man promptly said your mom can come over and do them for you....since you'll be working and traveling all over the world curing people....since you'll be a brain doctor..... (notice that we aim high)
Duchess thought about that and realized that no, mom couldn't do that....cause she'll be babysitting my daughters....... (here is where The Man almost ran us off the road)
Turns out that with no man, no husband, no marriage....Duchess will have all her dreams come true, including two daughters......oh and a pink dump truck that daddy will wash once a week and a dirt bike, but back to the illegitimate kids......
The Man ponders this and then looks at me and sternly says, she's adopting.
Heaven help this man when puberty gets here. Maybe that is why he is collecting guns.....

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, August 6, 2007

My little camper

I blinked. That is really the only thing I can think of right now. I blinked and she grew up into a tween thing. And now she is leaving home to attend a week long science camp, by herself, without her mother, however she is taking her green-green (the long suffering green blanket). That gives me hope that she isn't totally grown yet. Sigh....
So we have spent most of this week, preparing her for camp. She is on a green streak. Everything is green, she picks out trendy, hippie green skirts, skorts and shirts. All of her camp gear had to be green, right down to the little plastic bottles for shampoo and face wash....all green. So I have the car packed, that kid took everything, even a pillow which we managed to get in the duffel bag. So one duffel bag, one super duper hero sized green sleeping bag in an orange case that will protect her wee toes should the summer temps drop below -32 degrees (The Man has his own way of dealing with tweeny woes).... one green carry-all with toiletries (who knew but yeah, she has alot of toiletries: shampoo, conditioner, detangling spray, face wash, deo, lotion, and the list goes on....geez she is only 8 give me a break) and one green backpack which includes at the moment: heavy duty hiking boots, a seriously tuff flashlight and extra batteries, a little red knife set that turns into everything including a fork, spoon and helicopter, a field mess kit for eating, and last but not least, a seriously bad arse bandanna from The Photo Elusive Step-Dad....oh and her stuffed puppy.

We're ready.....I have the map, in the car already. Luggage in the car already. The letters that we pre-wrote so she'll get mail (kid will get like 5 a day!) are in the car. The camp forms and paperwork that is required for the medical screen, in the car....

Mother's panic and tears: Right here baby, but will be in the car, come morning.

Wish me luck. I told her I would spot her a $20 for the store there if she made it in the morning through drop off without a tear.....sigh, she is so not worried about me, it's all about the $20....

Here's to hoping I don't lose my shit in front of a camp full of other mothers.........

Friday, August 3, 2007

We Occassionally Eat Out...

And I do mean occassionally, as in not a drive through. Since Princess is leaving us to go to science camp (yep, totally comfortable making a nerd out of her!) we were out and about the other night procuring some of the things she'll a daypack, different froma backpack? How? Anyway, so since I'm on a diet (read past posts, sigh) I kept veto-ing places where I knew I wouldn't and couldn't be faithful to my diet, until I got outvoted.

Hello, pasta joint complete with trolley....which of course we had to wait on a table to eat in even though there were empty tables everywhere else, kids......

It was going great. Cause we love carbs....bring on the pasta. We kept busy yaking and coloring as we awaited our food.
Taking cheesy pictures while the waiter looked down my shirt....ewwww babyfaced 18 year olds are so not my cup of tea....

Until Princess let her mouth write a check her butt couldn't cash....that got her the lap....I don't even like to go there, cause it means your arse is grass!!!!

Duchess was just happy that it wasn't her in trouble!
All in all, it was great.......until my plate arrived. Turns out the special I ordered with the really cool name with angel haired pasta with very little sauce (tasty actually) and spinach and peppers and one seriously long keep this site G-rated I can't post a picture, it was graphic in shape.
I giggled the entire time I ate..........

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Where Am I going?

Things have really started settling down here in the land of mountains and muskrats. We have worked out a pretty good schedule and we're actually living life. Not just "living" as in waiting for the next move, the next big transition, we're actually living. It's a pretty cool concept, we should have tried this years ago...before I got grey hair and wrinkles and a shelf that has started to grow on my arse........that is another post though.

But now that we are settled, both with jobs and the kids in a routine. I have to ask myself, what is next? Somebody real close to me asked the other day why I'm never content....ummmm I didn't think you were suppose to ever be content? Content is the devil, it means no growth, no reaching, no stretching.....if you're content, can you actually go anywhere? I don't think its a bad thing not to be content. I am happy with my life (except the no smoking part and the arse shelf, but that is another post), my kids are thriving!, The Man is relaxing into family life, and that is swell. But life doesn't stop here.....

So what comes next? The Man and I were driving home last night, with the girlies snoozing in the backseat and I turned to him and asked him if he'd ever though about opening his own business....cause he has skills. True he is working in a completely different industry now that he is out of the Navy,but hey, he still has skills, and great great hands but that is another post....hee hee. We started talking about our 5 year goals and future plans, wow it felt great to plan and reach....cause people, you have to keep going....moving....stretching...conquering!

Next up for me? Finish that darn degree, keep myself on the Dean's List...I haven't made an I heart Myself wall yet but I have a file full of those little certificates that say I have a 4.0 average cause it's important to me! I have set that standard for myself and yep, gonna keep it going if it kills me, I'll sleep when I'm old!

Another plan.....we're planning on buying our first house next year, woohoo!!!!! Although in this valley the houses are as close to one another as they were in California, they don't seem to understand that when I'm standing naked at my sink brushing my teeth, I don't want to wave at my neighbor sitting on their toliet........seriously the houses are that close to together.....hello window blinds!

The Man is stretching too....he is taking his entrance exam today for college. He got accepted and is finalizing his entry stuff, he's joining the working stiffs who are losing all amounts of sleep to study at all hours of the night....guess I'll have to share my stash of no-doze with him now.

So where am I going? Up my own time and my own way....across my own hurdles! Sometimes it's good to reflect on your path huh?