Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!

Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!


Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this us....


This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public


My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Duchess' First Ski Lesson... Intro to Snow

So since Princess has been snowboarding (thank you middle school, you rock for hooking me up!), we've spent some time at the mountain. It rubbed off. Duchess decided that she wanted to try. That is all I've heard for a week straight, so I called up and used the school discount to get her a lesson. :)

Except we get there, and she gets butterflies.

 So we pep talk....... And I remind her that she's wanted to do this, and that we'd be close by. And that she could always puke afterwards!

And then there was the honey, they'll be here any minute, we are exactly where we are suppose to be. She was worried about missing the class, she's an OCD like her momma.

Yet more pep-talking. Bless her heart. Then right at 10 am on the dot. Up walks the instructor, and turns out the kid is the only one in the class. Hello, private lesson for group lesson payment. Score!

And off they go... it was all "see ya momma, luv ya"

Look at that smile, the lifts were down for the first hour so when they got to the bottom of the hill, they got a ride up on the gator! Fun! She's a happy baby.

Then the lifts came up, and my baby was airborne. We know all this cause Dave gots him a new camera and shocker, he's become the photographer of the family. Taking like a million shots of this adventure and then even better, stalking through knee high snow drifts, hiding behind trees and etc to get pics of her in action.

And the best pic of all, her and the tree. It's so wrong to laugh at my own baby. So yeah, I'm not gonna admit that I laughed. But the lesson took, she's already making plans for next weekend. She's all about skiing.

And I'm about hanging in the lodge drinking some cocoa!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Celebrating the Big 1-3

Since Princess turned 13 on Christmas Day, we postponed her bday party by a month. This past weekend, in celebration of the big 1-3, we took some girls snowboarding/skiing and then had a sleepover. I'm exhausted. But she's happy.

So since they all had lessons through the school and since we are very close to a local resort, the kids get cheap rentals and cheap lift tickets. Sweet deal if you ask me! So here they go, my teen in the white.

The whole independent thing cracks me up, but she needed no help short of "mom, pay the guy" and then it was strapping up, gearing up and "see you at noon right? later mom have fun". Seriously, I had to stalk her to get some pics but up there, my kid was on her own and didn't need mom a bit. Oooookay.

 Break time, the kids are relaxing.

 On the lifts, so sweet. Totally scared the crap out of me but again, totally got that without any help from anyone.

 A vid of her in action. Can you tell that she has the bug?

 Ummm bye sweetie, have fun!

These kids stayed up till 2 am. I didn't make it that long. But I had my revenge, I woke their butts up at 730 for breakfast.

Next up: Duchess gets her first ski lesson. Oh boy!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

celebrating my man

okay so the man comes home tomorrow. his birthday was last Sunday and he was on the road so we're celebrating this weekend. It just hit me, I've spent 16 birthdays with him. HOLY CRAP. I actually have a picture of his 19th birthday where I'm sitting next to him opening his gifts. We were babies, so young. We'd been dating a couple of months. He had been really sick and looked rough, poor guy.

So the question is now, what do you do for someone you've spent 16 birthdays with?

I gotta think of something good cause my guy is 35 this year and it's just too good to pass up, you know ;)

To Be Me

So I'm working on homework, international marketing... blah. And watching is snow/rain. And watching Four Brothers. I swear my alter ego is from the ghetto cause I just love these damn movies. The soundtrack alone is ipod repeat worthy.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Glutten for Punishment

Pray for me. Seriously, I need your prayers. This weekend I'm having Prin's 13th birthday party. I'm taking a gaggle of 12/13 year olds snowboarding and then back here for a sleep over. There is apparently no end to the amount of abuse I'm willing to submit myself to.

I can already imagine the sheer noise level gauging at the giggly and excited voices calling my house to RSVP.

Somebody spell me, please................. please!

Oh wait, ;) I have this all set up on the same night that Dave is coming home. Guess I'll have some help afterall.

Yes, I'm evil but misery loves company!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I'm Bored, nothing good will come of this

So I'm bored. Cause I was a good girl and did all my homework ahead of time. So now I'm here chilling, with a clean kitchen, watching Die Hard movies and I"m bored out of my head. Hmmm, what to do?

 So I'll update you, we've had a little snow. Murphy just loves snow. He likes to stick his entire head in a snowdrift so he comes back to the door looking like this....... then about forty times a day I get to towel him off while cursing at him in French. (my new thing, don't feel so guilty about corrupting the wee ones that way)

 So this is my driveway in middle of wee little snowstorm we had. On days like this, I drive down to meet the bus. So my kids feel the love. (Plus so they don't hide my cute chonies or something mean like that)

And Duchess, the ham, in her new snowboots that she picked out herself and bought. (Christmas money) She was so proud, I hate them but that really doesn't mean diddly squat huh? The baby will be the one cleaning them not moi! lol.

I'm gonna go chill in front of the fire. It's lonely like me.

Monday, January 23, 2012

I Heart Action

Romcoms bore me; it can take hours to watch one movie due to all the up and down, errands, snacks, laundry and etc I manage to include in my time. However, I adore sports movies. Hoosiers? Damn fine show! Football movies like Invinsible or Rudy? OMGawd, need the tissues. Miracle or any other ice hockey movie? Yum. Boxing? OMGAWD hello!

I even love baseball movies. Anything but basketball, I just can't get into bb.

I think I'm missing a girl gene somewhere.

That said, I have found that I love reading stories centered abour ice hockey or boxing. So since I was sad, moody and couldn't sleep last night it was game marathon on the cable box at my house.

I really wished I was coordinated enough to ice skate, there's just something about ice hockey. Yum.

Now, trying to get kids interested in traveling to a nearby city to watch a professional hockey team play......... hmmmm, maybe if I dangle a hotel stay with it, they'll get aboard.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Awkward... oh my hell

So I work out usually in shorts, cause I like having free movement of my legs and frankly tights are too tight. So I've been hunting for ole school legwarmers to wear when I run. Finally found some on a craft site everyone raves about (yeah no free pimping for them b*tches now), see above. Ole School right? Yeah, warm and blah colors. Handmade too. So I bought them and this morning I got an email from them stating that my "order from Stippers-R-Us has shipped"....


I can't wait to see what the post office people in this little sweet town think of that crap!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

This is What Bored Me Looks Like

Thanks to my littlest helper who likes to take a million pictures with my phone and then "effect" them therefore eating up all my memory.

I really gotta start painting again.

Pedis, snow and more

Name that foot.... Yesterday was spent getting Pedis, shopping for snowboarding clothes in the crap weather and just having girl time. What a great day.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Do My Eyes Deceive Me?

Because I do have some breeding, I'm not going to post the evidence (ala picture) however I have exciting news. Thanks to my new workout plan......... HOLY SHITE: I have a waist.

Stop rolling your eyes. I've NEVER had a waist. EVER. Seriously, I'm like potato shaped for 34 years however when changing tonight, I saw something strange in my mirror. An indention around my middle, one that looked suspiciously like a waist. So I got closer. And then took a picture to send to my girl so she could weigh in on the verdict.

Yep, it's a waist.

And while I am trying to be too class-y and not post it on Blogger, I did text to my husband. Snicker. Show him what's he's missing at home ;)

Monday, January 16, 2012

Internal Monolouge 7,342

I think we are all aware of my notorious internal monolouge and soundtrack tendencies. Yep, I'm a freak. But an okay with herself freak so bite me. As if I don't have a million songs, stories, daydreams and pervy comments running through my head at any given time.... I just got my greedy little hands on Nickleback's latest song.

Hello luver........

I heart Nickleback.

So since I've not been sleeping all that way (snort), I've started jotting down ideas and random snippets of crap that run through my head......... I have enough materials for 47 books. FUN!

Seriously though, my goal is to find somewhere to volunteer my time soon so I can hoist myself out of my inner monolouge and interact. (sigh, I'd really rather go to the dentist without pain meds) This will be good for me, right?

With all that crap floating around in there, how come it can get lonely in my head?

Tactical Planning Plan A

So due to the concussion (I think) my insomnia is pretty darn bad. So at 2am this morning while I was reading and chilling by the fire, I heard a noise. Outside on the deck. So I did what I normally do, grab my 9mm, check the safety and chamber then grab the flashlight. (Normally this is totals Dave's job but he b traveling)

I realized quickly that even if I live here forever (doubtful, very doubtful) I'd never buy this house. I love it, it's spacious and gorgeous however it's a tactical nightmare. Too many windows and I hate the floorplan. Doing a sweep through the house is a stressful thing. However, with all the flood lights and sensor stuff outside, the outside part is a breeze.

So yeah, another thing to store in my forever house plan!

And somebody send ambien please.......

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Restrictions SUCK

I am not a good patient. Seriously, I can whine, b*tch, gripe and make a saint completely contemplate strangling me in my sleep when I'm hurt or injured. I'm such a stellar person ;) but for the next two weeks I'm on restrictions cause the doc says I scrambled my brains. Nice. Even though I passed all the nuro testings and everything perfect (yo I'm intelligent didn't ya know?) I can't see straight and with my glasses on, I manage to for short periods keep 20/20. So I'm on emergency only driving. Which means I'm stuck in the house. Huh, I never leave the house anyway.

So why in the world is that suddenly chapping my ass? And Dave ain't helping... now since it's been a couple days, apparently it's okay to laugh at the fact that only I can give myself a concussion with a vehicle. Every phone call ends with "be safe damnit". Nice!

I'm climbing the walls already and I have two weeks to go. This is gonna go badly. Can somebody please send wine......... or RUM! RUM would be awesome. Please.

Friday, January 13, 2012


I fought the jeep cargo door and the jeep cargo door won.

Doc made it official.


I'm A Perv

Yeah so I'm turning 35 this year.

For just a second can I ask you something?


Okay I feel better. Cause I don't feel almost 35. I'm thinking I look almost 35 but if you agree with me, I'll spit in your oatmeal so shut it.

Anyway, so I'm bored and can't sleep. All due to a pesky little accident this morning: me, taking trash down the road to our dumpster (cause I live in the freaking BOONIES), jeep rear cargo door slamming down and busting open my head, so I slept pretty much all day to rid myself of the headache. It's better but dang how long will that crap last...... Anyho (typo but I'm keeping it)

I'm trolling my facebook profile, you know my real one not my H4G one........ duh, sorting pictures into different albums and locking old ones so there aren't like 7k pics up there cause that is just wrong you know. (and if you have that many, clean that crap up!)

I come across some old pics in there. When Dave and I were dating..... yeah and I'm totally sitting here drooling thinking dayum that boy is hawt.

And I realize, holy shit he was like 19 at the time and I'm drooling over technically a 19 year old. I'm too old for that shit. right?

I just feel dirty.

Reminder: call Dave tomorrow and tell him how hawt he is.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

H4G Body Inventory

FML.... second day of my new workout. One that Dave and I crafted together cause I hate public gyms, wedgies that have to be picked out in public and any type of machine that requires sitting on. So thanks to the home gym we've built up, I'm making my new years resolution... so far. (let's not count our chickens before they hatch luvers)

Except, as I type this I hurt...... in so many place.

My neck is sore - probably from looking at the ceiling to concentrate on keeping accurate count thus eliminating the need to start over from 1. Also praying that God will keep me from dropping a dumbell on my face (yeah, done that before)

The muscles behind my shoulder blades hurt. Except I can't reach that far or high to rub them.

My chest is sore rather than hurting. Dayum it I'd rather it hurt cause I need to firm up if you get my drift. Shut up, I nursed my kids yo.

My arms are like noodles left to sit overnight in a vat of water. They HURT and this goes from shoulder to wrists. This is cause I'm stubborn and have four different arm exercises with my weights. I suck.

My wrists hurt - punching bag, need I say more?

My lower back is sore and twingy - gonna totally blame this on the damn crunches. I hate crunches like some counties hate liquer licenses. With a passion. But I hate pudgy tummy worse. So there you go.

My ass hurts. (shut up) Gonna blame this firmly on the lunges. Evil sadistic shit those things.

My thighs are good strangely.

My knees hurt. Cause I'm a dumbass who left her knee braces upstairs and was too lazy to go get them once I got started.

My calves burn. Treadmill. But was proud that I advanced past a cute little cupids shuffle pace to a full out run for 7 minutes. Watch me go! I'll be back running before summer (hopefully!)

My ankles and feet are dry as as MOFO and need lotion but are otherwise fine.

Luckily I get a day off from that routine to recoup.

Except tomorrow I'm doing the dance zumba crap on the wii.

By lord, I will stick with this though. I know if I can make it to week three, I'll have that runners high and energy to burn. Just gotta wade through hell to get there first.

I have serious mental issues.

Who volunteers for this shit?

Oh yeah, me.

A Cross, A Fire, A Gun and A Glass of Wine

So what do ya do when your man is traveling... and you hear noises at night and can't sleep? Well you blog of course. With a big ass glass of strawberry wine (cause I'm class-y yo). Now logically I know it's the deer moving through the yard since it's a full-ish moon, but the paranoia sets in and well, frankly I can't sleep anyway.

So here I sit.

In my log cabin with a ginormous cross hanging off the front (keeps those pesky missionaries away), four flood lights (boonies yo) and my handgun. Now to be safety conscious I'm not gonna give you the number of guns in this house but please be assured when I say that I have enough firepower to take out a small state of idiots.

I'm also a good shot. Ask the woodpecker, oops you can't cause all that was left was his wing. My bad. (a 9mm will do some serious damage to a woodpecker yo)

So here I sit, warming myself by the fire, reading a book, sipping my wine and listening to the damn deer.

I hope somebody somewhere understands the restraint I'm showing in not flipping the safety off and plugging that bastard deer that is eating the last of my green bushes. Cause I need a deer roast, yummy.

But that is totally illegal and I'm a legal beaver (snicker) so here I sit.



Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Family Smamily Time

Well we are enjoying ourselves and our family time! This week was quite the activity as Dave drug us out of the house for activities. He's currently away on business so we got our fun in while we could!

 We bowled. Left handed so Duch wasn't left out. I rock left handed bowling dudes! Me and Prin in our cheesy we havne't washed our hair in days look.

 Murphy napping in the midst of what could be the largest pile of doggie toys in the state of Idaho.

 Duch watching LSU get stomped last night by Bama. Just a sh ame!!!!!!

 Driving on the shoulder on a HIGHWAY to get to the school to pick up a sick kid yesterday. Cattle has the right of way apparently. Had to wash my jeep afterwards, YUCK.

 Rocking the Tiger gear.......

 Taking meds like a toddler cause she might be 13 but sometimes you just can't tell...

 Dinner at Texas Longhorn, our fav just for the name and the fabulous waiter guy who spoils the kids.

 Wanted: one mom

 Dude, I'm eatting stop........ Prin got the camera rocking.

Piled up on daddy like there isn't enough seats in this house. Notice all the electronics, lol. We suck.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Is That An Echo?

So up here in the boonies I sit, waiting for the massive amounts of snowfall that has yet to hit us. It's suppose to be here any week, except it changes weekly, lol. We'll see. I'm sure I'll be snowed in shortly so there you go.

But while I'm busy working with my kids, cooking meals, doing laundry, napping with the dog and starting my business. I'm staying busy.

And I'm so thankful for my friends. M and Case you guys rock. You keep me on the chain, you answer my emails and text me to come out of my shell. When you move away you really truly can become isolated very quickly. I"m trying very hard to stay in contact with everyone but I'm not doing a good job I worry.

Sometimes I hear an echo where I used to hear voices. I'm trying not to get lonely.

It's very quiet in the boonies especially when I'm not blaring music.

With possible huge changes yet again on the horizon, I'm so thankful to my momma and my girls for making sure that I'm getting that interaction I need.

You guys just rock.

And don't worry, I have met one friend here who is determined to not let me rot in my house. She's a hoot and frankly a little scary cause she's one of those perpetually happy people. ;) No drugs needed, lol.

I'm thankful for my support system. Even if you guys don't understand our life, you offer support and reassurance.

This is a crazy life we lead but it's one where God is in charge and will remain in charge so if we move often or make choices like the husband working in one state while we remain in another, you don't judge. You support. You understand that we don't make these changes lightly, it's done based on prayer and what is best for the family. It's not easy.

I repeat, it's not easy. It's not easy being so far from family. It's not easy to not be able to drop in on our loved ones or just show up at my friends house for a glass of wine and some whine. It's not easy.

But you understand that. You understand that I follow my guy. You understand that I pray for guidance daily so that God will give me the strength to be strong and do what I need to do for my family. You understand that Dave strives hard in his career to provide for us. You understand that the last four years have been about his busting his arse to build a career that puts money into the college fund for my kids and allows me to stay at home with them while seeking to start my own business. You understand.

You get a cookie for that.

Because I have enough people who judge and frankly, I try really hard not to judge others.

I get a cookie for that shit!

So for you out there who do nothing except love me and my family no matter what...........

A glass of wine without the whine. Peace, love and no crabs. I love ya'll more than my luggage, and I think we all know how much love and use my luggage gets.

So Mom, M, and Case............ I love you

Friday, January 6, 2012

Friday night in the boonies

What we do on Friday nights ....

Throw a Prayer Our Way

Just when you think you're on the path you'll stay on, the Lord smiles and says "yo, watch this though! I gots something for you..." and so there is some uncertainity in front of us. But it's not a bad uncertainity, it's just a curveball. One we didn't see coming.

So while we are awaiting news and details, throw a prayer our way.

We aren't asking for a certain outcome, just that our walk on faith will lead us exactly where the Lord wants us.

Cause when the Lord makes the way, it is smoother than a knife through hot butter baby.

So yeah for all my loud trashy mouth (and thoughts), I walk on faith!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Ding Dings and Beavers, Lord Help Me

So this has been quite the enlightened weekend up in this mug. Besides being sick as crap, I also had my hands full with everyone home for the holidays. I do so love this family bonding time. (Not to mention, the extra dishes, laundry, and shortage of hot water ;)....

So we managed to put together the combo table which includes a pool side, an air hockey side, a ping pong side and the other side, who the hell knows. I can't figure it out.

So we've had quite the ping pong tourney going on here. It's like that scene from Forrest Gump, except much less coordinated and patriotic. I can't tell you how many breast hits I've had in the past week. Dave has a wicked backhand. Crap. I have a bruise dude!

But even better, in the height of line ref-ing with Duchess it happened. Princess snapped a perfect snap and that little plastic ping pong ball went straight........

"OH gawd you hit my ding ding"......

Oh yeah baby, she popped him a good one. After the girls crawled up off the floor gasping for air.... and I managed to pick my jaw up off the floor. I tried to recover with a nice speeach about how boys and girls have different body parts just to be informed, duh mom we know that. Unfortunately, it seems that the children now have a new nickname for male body parts. Sweet Mary mother of Jesus, my house.

Thanks to my mother, the girls already refer freely to the hoochie hoochie area and now we have ding ding. I guess I should just be happy that he's tried so hard to reform his sailor speech (ummm him, not me) so we didn't end up with something a little more lewd, crude and cough*male*cough.

But to round out the night, we were all downstairs in kid land trying to get our evening routine wrapped up. See, I help them lay out school clothes, oversee nightly lotion, teeth and etc routines then kiss them then Dave prays with them and tucks them in. Since they were babies, if we are all home this is a nightly thing. So Dave is sprawled over Prin's bed while she and I go back and forth trying to match up a cute outfit to match her new boots when she whips out a tshirt from Texas. Her idea to wear a long sleeved shirt underneath was cool, even if Dave argued that grunge was dead. But it was the shirt that was the problem. Back home there is a huge gas station with a cartoon beaver as it's character. The sayings on billboards are always "cheeky" and it's a huge joke. BUT in Idaho, having my kid wear a shirt that screams on the back "Power to the Beaver" ain't good.

She wasn't getting it, so Dave pipes up....

"A really ugly inappropriate nickname for the hoochie hoochie is beaver"

OMGAWD, I'm gonna kill him. Yeah, she's 13 now but damn really?

She thought this was hysterical and quite offensive and frankly I tried to beat his arse with a dirty sock about the head and shoulders but she finally gave up on the shirt.

So from the house of ding dings and beavers to yours.........

Happy New Year.

I can only imagine what this year will bring with a start like this!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Ringing the New Year!

Sicker than a dog! Jesuit, it's nasty up in this booger. My tummy is revolting, dang meds and Dave has the sinus crud he's sharing, so it's just a nasty ordeal all the way around.

But Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace, Love, and Aces