Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!

Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!


Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this us....


This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public


My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Showing the 'rents around

My amazeballz parents drove my sweet gerkins all the way home to Montucky so we've enjoyed some local sites and junk this week. Getting my spoil on!

Saturday, July 27, 2013

They b home.....

They r home. The littlest one wont stand still long enough for proof.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Clean smean

15 lbs to lose to b my fighting weight. So its back to clean eatting for me. Sigh....I miss junk already.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Ups and Downs

Life is always fun in Griswald-ville. My babies are on their last leg of their summer vacation extravaganza. Good grief but I miss those babies. They are enjoying life with my momma and daddy. They went all up through Elvis' house and property. It was kinda of a big deal. Ready for my babies.

Till then, I'm done with school. Like for realz dog. So yeah I'm job hunting now. We will see how this works out. I'm taking my time. I want to pick the right thing and I have time. Let's see how long it will take me shall we? I'm betting six months to find the right thing. Dave refuses to guess cause he says God's time frame. Good point, I retract my statement. Side note: gotta see about a trip into big town to get some interview outfits. (that is in case someone actually wants to interview me, optimistic aren't I?)

I've finally got my resume done. Between two former bosses and a few of my recruiter friends, we all did some work on that thing. Turns out I'm super picky about it and could frankly change it constantly and never be happy. So I sucked it up and started pushing it out today. I've called and spoken with all my references. God, they make me sound so awesome. I'd totally hire me.

Dave the most awesome husband tricked me into going on a road trip. I'm so awesome to spend time with on a roadtrip. First off, after twenty minutes in a stinking vehicle I instantly fall asleep. Sweet. Then you have to take into account his heated seats and the fact that he brought my pillow and my favorite blankey. Yeah, I was a drooling snoring hawt mess. I'm sure I was lovely company. We drove eight hours to go get some equipment, dragging this big ole crazy trailer. (luv how I say "we" huh). Anyway, I was promised a pedi and dang it, I'ma beat that damn horse to death cause I didn't get my pedi! But I did have some fun hanging with him. Although, this city had the most homeless people I have seen since San Diego and holy hell at the occupy group of hippie worthless huggers. I swear, they were all smoking pot and dirty holding their signs. Seriously, I refused to hand out money, told them to shower, shave, and Wendy's was hiring. That shit burns my ass. Anywho.

Disappointment. I understand that life changes and people change but I still absolutely hate when someone disappoints me. Because frankly it isn't about them.... I expected something and didn't get it. It's all me. I'm not sure why I let myself get upset. Shake it off, and keep moving..... but I won't forget. I'll learn that lesson.

I'm sad to say that I'm so damn dry that it appears that I have grown scales. OMG gag. Seriously that is about the nastiest stuff I have ever seen in my life. I'm drinking water like a fish. And thanks to something on the internet (cause the internet can't lie right) I found a tip. I washed my legs. Shaved. And while still wet, I went ahead and rubbed in a shit ton of body oil. Then good news? It's not nearly as nasty. I'll be sure to keep you posted. I'm sure you absolutely will want to know that.

Side note: watching a cop show.... they are cracking me up, except they are prepping for a raid and it shows them using directions from Map Quest. WTF? Seriously, there is no way. Everyone knows Map Quest is ALWAYS WRONG. Off rant.

I'm sitting here typing this while snuggled up to my Murphy mandog. He's so sweet. While I was with Dave, he was boarded and he loves this place he goes cause he gets to play with the big dogs and he freaking lost .5 lbs running around and playing. Silly dog. But this morning, he had his vet apt to get his shots, dewormers and all that shit. fun. He always gets spazzy as shit whenever I pull up at the vet. My well behaved happy boy turns into THAT DOG. I have to drag him in, making me look like an asshole for dragging my dog on a leash. Then I have to constantly tell him "no" for trying to pee on everyone and everything. Then he poops. OMG kill me now. I hate the vet visit as much as he does now. Then afterwards, he ignores me for days. Cause it's all my fault. Except this time, Dave came along. I didn't say a word. I handed him the leash and told him, saddle up, all you. That damn dog. He peed before coming in. He promptly jumped up and weighed in. He played and was well behaved and even the vet was like "he's a whole new dog". Asshat. Dave gloated. Asshat. I'm retiring from vet visits from now on.

So Dave took me to eat at a steak house that we like. It's Montana classy. Meaning the inside is gorgeous and all wood and gloss. The tables are covered with a white paper they encourage you to doodle on while you eat and visit. The people are casual. Like really, casual. Flips and a cowboy hat and swim trunks were seen on the same individual. I needed some serious eye bleach. Gagk. Anyway, my sweet studman and I are talking and doodling. He was listening so intently while I discussed my disappointment. Then when our food came, I made the waitress hold up for a sec... so I could take a picture of the table. lol I'd doodled hearts and flowers and shit and he'd drawn an elaborate crane. It was hysterical. The steak was the bomb. I do so love Montana meat.

Okay, taking my tired grumpy butt to bed! Good night all.

Friday, July 19, 2013


Im rolling along side my man..... cause we had to grab some parts he needs for work. Eight hours away.... and cause hes cute as hell..... I said yes. Excrpt I was lured with a concert and a pedi. The pedi didn't happen but the concert was fun. ... and pulling a huge trailer  across the mountains is entertaining.  Im learning new curse words. And im napping alot.  Lol

Thursday, July 18, 2013

We b boating

His project paid off. Boat fixed and launched successfully.  And Murphy luvs the freakkng boat. .... who knew. #spoilingmyman

Monday, July 15, 2013

Busy weekend cont....

Did I mention the effffffing hail storm? My poor truck! Oh and my sniper rifle and I are deadly at 350 ..... just saying

Rocking along.....

Another weekend gone, my sweet babies are still vacaying and Dave/I are trying to keep busy. We've realized something along the way.... we are very family friendly in our middle age. Seriously, there is absolutely nothing that we've done with the kids gone that we couldn't have been able to take the kids with. And frankly I'm okay with our boring ass life. lol. We got up early Saturday morning to get the boat water ready. We drove into Dave's shop and the mechanic had finished up the tune up so we washed the boat and did the legwork on cleaning her up a little. We got her to the lake and before she even got off the trailer, we had some mechanical issues (thanks mechanic) so back to the shop we went.
We looked at a rental house in the town where Dave works. Country living. OMG seriously, it's 20 miles outside of town (which means 30 miles less of a commute for him) but it's in the middle of nowhere. It needs some tlc and normally we'd be thrilled with the idea but we'd have to replace all the carpets in that place for Duchess and it's just not worth it to move her into a place like that and risk her health. So for now, we stay where we b. Sometimes you're blessing in right in front of you huh? I keep looking for a way to shorten his commute and maybe I'm not suppose to. Dang.
Sunday we managed to make church. Then it was fantastic.... see we were old and tired. And since it was seriously sprinkling, we skipped the boat and came tome to nap and then play tootsie. It was fantastic!
The kids: well they were as cute as hell. Louisiana has them another 24 hours and then they are off to Texas for the rest of the month. They are racking up the miles!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Update, cause I promised

I'm sitting here pouting. Dave is being mean to me. This is my future record of his meanness. :) The turd is laughing hysterically at me. We are watching "Identity Theft" while I'm letting my hair dry. I'll get back to the hair later. Now, I typically have movie ADD. I have it really hard to sit through an entire movie without wandering around, taking a nap, a bath, or something else. Cause I'ma weirdo. However as I sit here on my computer doing a million things at once, he's watching this movie. I'm in and I'm out. Then the scene with the snake in the woods. OMGawd. I screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed. And realized that Dave was laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing. At me. Apparently my reaction to the stupid movie was funnier than the movie. So I'm pouting. Although he did swear that if a snake bites me in the neck, he'd suck that shit out. I asked him to just shoot me. Good lord.

This has been an eventful summer. June was full of softball. I did manage to see the entire state of Montana while watching my baby play ball. Then this month I sent my babies to the family. My inlaws got two weeks of Griswald little girl. Since Dave was unable to do with us on the road trip down there.... he was smarticales and flew us down there. Yeah, apparently he could see me driving across country with two kids and taking forever to do so. Said something about antique malls and the worlds biggest ball of twine. The man has serious insight into me doesn't he?

We managed to find flights. However, we had a six hour layover in Denver. Sweet plastic baby Jesus on the dashboard. That was a long ass layover. We really had nothing to do. Like nothing. We had phones and earbuds. After a quick lunch, we entertained ourselves riding escalators and the running walkways. Then we needed to charge our phones. We found a plugin next to a payphone by a bank of windows. We made camp. We had several lap blankets, two hoodies, and we set up a nice little camp. It was wonderful. We napped and we enjoyed the time to catchup and play silly games. It was fun just chilling with my babies.

I dropped the sweeties in Tulsa then the next day I boarded a plane for a retreat in Florida with M. Except due to some excellent shitty weather, I got detoured in Atlanta. I'm not a huge fan of Atlanta and if you are or if you live there, good luck! That airport was ghetto-fabulous. Packed, narrow, and no employees anywhere. I wound up running down a bike cop (seriously a fucking bike, cop?) and getting directions. Dave is the MAN. One frantic call from me and from across the country he arranges me a room in a town full of cancelled flights and booked hotels. He even calls for the shuttle. The room was great. The view of the airport and weather. A portly kind shuttle driver drove me to eat somewhere and then I had a nice bath. It worked out fine.

Florida was EPIC. Total girl's weekend. Beach. Friends. BBQ. Shopping. Laughing. I came home centered and ready to move into a new chapter.

Except I had to fucking get home first. My flight out of Florida was delayed 30 minutes. Which meant I had to run to catch my first connection in Houston. I ran like a crack whore running from her pimp through IAH. I made my flight. Barely. So barely in fact that they gave away my good seat and I had a shitty seat as I barely beat the door closing. Denver again. Denver was nice. This time I had several hours so I managed to eat and then charge my phone. What are the odds that of all the flights that go through Denver that I would have the very same gate that we'd went out a week earlier? Well I beat those odds. I really should have bought a lotto ticket that night. Anyway, I get to my Montana location. Now, this is not where I live. Nope. I live several hours in the middle of nowhere. Several hours. So literally I flew in and Dave was to pick me up and drive me home. Except, he's swamped due to some weather issues (hint: hail) and the flooding so his thoughtful amazing husband self got me an amazing hotel room. I swear this man has a hotel genie in his arsenal. (actually, an awesome sweet travel lady that we use, she is amazeballz with hotels) I had a room like I've never had before. Pics one day. I'm ghetto like that too. I took a shitballz load of pics. I totally had them bring me up a razor and shaving cream and a comb. They happily did it , at midnight, when I checked in. Good night. The tub was huge. The bed was awesome. The pillows were heaven. The den and sofa was enjoyable to look at but I did stretch my clothes out on them. Oh and breakfast the next morning? I called Dave, lol. Oh dear it was insane. Turns out that there was a private dining room and you sat down and tell the nice lady who appears out of nowhere and scares the utter shit of you what you want for breakfast. So looking around and seeing no food. I asked "eggs? sausage? juice?" yeah, she went and apparently made that crap. Ummm okay. (note: we seriously paid Motel 6 rates for this room thx to hotel lady) oh and when I got up to leave and bused my own table, she was pissed. lol. crap, guess I should have tipped. Just thought about it. Anyway, I get to the airport ready to jump on a little commuter plane and fly home to Dave and Murphy.

Except, I get checked in and I'm sitting watching the Zimmerman trial on tv when a sweet lady in a uniform approaches me. They cancelled my farking flipping ucking flight due to mechanical issues. Seriously? The next flight was later that night. I called Dave. Pissed. Then camped out and prepared to wait another six hours in an airport. Lord help me I was sad. lol. Dave called. Again, he saved the day. Seriously, this man treats me amazing and I have no clue why I deserve this. He is the best evah. He was like, take a cab to the mall. Shop, watch a movie, get a pedi.... find something to do, I'm on the way to get you. He drove all that way to pick me up cause he was "worried that my luck had run out with planes" lol. I missed that face of his.

I really enjoyed my trip away but man oh man, I was so happy to snuggle in my bed with Murphy at my feet and Dave holding my hand in his sleep. (Which is way cute until he rolls over and drags me with him in his sleep and traps me under him in a way and my shit goes to sleep and gets all tingly and painful. Cause then I start thinking about chewing my arm off. But I've learned to tickle him and he'll let me go, still deep asleep, lol)

Funniest thing ever though, coming home to a clean house. He was so cute pointing out all the stuff he'd cleaned before I got home. All the same stuff I'd cleaned before I left, lol. I didn't point out that he'd simply cleaned up behind himself. Luv that man.

I'm blessed. I don't have a perfect life but man between my man, my kids, my family, and my friends, I'm a very blessed girl.

Who is peeling badly around the cleveage area..... is that normal? Nasty.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Ok part deux

Fishing tournaments. Branson. Water sports. They had a blast. More soon. Swear.

Thursday, July 11, 2013


I sat my chubby butt on the beach for exactly two hours. The burn was epic. My luck is epic!!!!!! Days later my legs are fine looking though ;)


Had a blast. Caught up with my girl. Spent some time thinking about my next move.... as of 15th I'm a grad again. Florida was da bomb. More sooooooooon.