Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!

Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!


Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this us....


This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public


My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Start your engines.....

Tomorrow my class opens up. Even though it's not officially starting till Saturday, tomorrow I get a peek inside......I'm scared crapless.

My book is due to arrive any day now. I'm so freaking happy, you'd think they were paying me to go back to school again instead of the other way around. Mental note: need a raise, school is expensive........damn.......

And because I'm not the only student in the house, The Man just informed me that his next class is English.....buckle your seatbelts, this is gonna get interesting. I'm going right now to hide all my A+ papers....he's on his own......cause it's good for him this way........really, builds character.

But just because I'm doing it online doesn't mean that I can't rock me some style. Cause my girl, Cec just returned from Vegas and with her into my house tonight came a little white bag with H&M on it. And it was mine all mine.......the sweetest little black cardigan with huge buttons and a little bow around the hips. Oh my.....I'm in love.....

So as soon as I get my sneak peek, I'll fill you in. Until then, I'm gonna go chew my nails, there are some spots I've missed.

Monday, September 29, 2008

I'm Getting Old

Look how very fast they are growing........sigh

Yeah I'm Slow

So since I have no tv and all, and live in the boonies, I missed the Presidential Debate. So I'm listening to it now, at work. Now I've tried really hard to keep my politics to myself, but I had a total's my freaking blog......

So on that note, I am loving how presidential and take charge McCain is looking during this debate. Obama strikes me as nervous and trying to remember memorized phrases......huh.

So when is the next one?

Saturday, September 27, 2008

It soothes me......

Today we went visiting a local waterfall. I tell you, water just soothes me.
I think of every movie where the characters swam in a pool at the bottom of a waterfall and I just wanta strip and jump in......
Then I notice the rocks and think again. So I just took some pictures......
Okay alot of pictures........
Until The Man commented on this being a continuation of my obsession with bathtubs and long soaking baths where I read, sip a cold Dr. Pepper and continually add hot water.......

Then he brought up the cost of our water bill........

We left the waterfall and moved on.

I get the hint dude.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Parenting is Tough

And honestly I love it. Except I've started a list of non-appropriate things that I stay on my kids about.....

1. barking spiders......Duchess has a fixation with them.
2. Not wearing leggings under your dress and then showing your panties, no way Jose
3. the F word, I hate the word "fart"
4. Speaking of being beat in public, like they have ever got a beating
5. Kicking other kids at school who are mean
6. Hitting other kids at school who are mean.......with objects
7. Saying Oh My God, unless it's a prayer, no way
8. Teasing each other without mercy
9. Ignoring their parents, at all times
10. Dressing Murphy up in babydoll clothes, he's going to get a complex
11. Leaving Murphy in the basement where they were roller blading
12. Putting Murphy in my bathtub, shower or closet
13. Putting your dirty clothes in the bathtub, what is that?

I'm sure I'll add to this over the course of the year.

Now I'm going to go beat my head on the wall.....cause orkwa is driving me nuts....

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Oh no Baby!

Sooo....drum schedule came through.....and the winner of my first class this semester is.......Accounting 1001.


How utterly appropriate.......cause I so dislike me some math.

Here we go baby. As of Oct 2nd, feel free to abandon my blog as I'l be working and griping and all that such as I drag my arse through Accounting 1001.

Good lord.....

Monday, September 22, 2008


I hate wobbling. Yet here I am. I'm not on steady ground lately, and I noticed that I've avoided posting about it, so I'm addressing my cowardly side and hey, life is too short. And I can't afford therapy so here you go.......mental purging to commence.

1. I'm a nervous wreck about school. I was accepted into my new program, but I'm still awaiting my new schedule. School starts back on Oct 2nd. They better hurry. I've called my advisor so often, I think he is screening now. He obviously doesn't like OCD students assigned to him.

2. I'm a nervous wreck about school. I petitioned to change my major from Business Administration to Healthcare Management. Mainly because I've done business.......oh have I done business. I've been a legal secretary, I've been a deputy for a court, I've been the exe admin for a chamber of commerce, I've been a branch manager for the government, I've been a sales coordinator for a large surfwear company, and I'm stuck on the idea that once I finally get that elusive degree, well I'll end up somebody's admin, yet with a degree. Nope, I wanta be something different when I grow up. So I'm switching to a field I've never ever had the ability to work in, mainly cause I hate blood. Healthcare. But business.........does that make sense to anyone but me?

3. I'm a nervous wreck about school. I started my school career back oh about 14 years ago majoring in pre-law. Then I took a break and The Man and I sorta just went about things bass ackwards. Marriage, kids, military, then school. Woohoo, we rock! So a part of me is wondering why I didn't just buckle down somewhere along the way, you know in Texas, or Chicago, or San Diego or Oklahoma and just do it. So now I'm determined. And it's not purty when I'm determined.

4 . I'm a nervous wreck about school. Since I chose a private school with a good rep to finish my degree 95% online (i'll have to do my internship in state, eventually) I have to pay private school prices, OMG, my cheap frugal arse can't take it. But I am going to do this right, so in addition to student aid, I'm going out of pocket this year for tuition. Oh Lord, have pity on me now.

5. My backyard is still not done. That is about all I'm gonna say on that, as I love The Man dearly and bless his heart, it's not his fault it's hunting season or that he has midterms. But the damn yard is still dirt. With a fire pit, but dirt. With no sprinklers in sight, or a fence, or a deck....

6. Once again feeling the oddball at work, so I spend 90% of my day working away listening to my ipod or old tv show reruns on the computer. I've never been so productive. The problem is that I allow myself to worry about something I can't and wouldn't change if I could. Perception. Mainly the perception others have of me. Obviously I have an issue there but I worked really hard to become the person I am, so hang it.

7. Why can't anyone else smell Murphy in my house? Everyone assures me that his presence doesn't make my house smell....but I've just spent the last hour digging out my auto scent sprayers and hanging a few discreetly around the house. Hello morning rain. You smell lovely, with the slight undertone of dog. Damnit.

8. Being hairy......TMI I know but come on.....I can never remember to shave my legs. It's like I have an addiction to the oblivious. I don't notice it till I'm sitting on the couch in my comfy pjs and The Man goes to rub my legs, almost without noticing it. Until he jerks it back, and starts in with the monkey jokes. This could give a girl a complex. So in addition to being perpetually short, I'm also perpetually hairy. Hey, keeping it real here, sorry.

9. 31 (yep, proud of those laugh lines baby) my feet are falling apart. I soak the bastards like an old lady at least once a week. I'm constantly rubbing lotion into them, they are still falling apart. I mention it to my doc and *poof* I have an answer. Heels. Seems since I've spent the last 13 years (minus a year for each kid) I've spent 5 days a week, 9 plus hours a day on my feet, in 3 inch heels. And now my feet only hurt when I wear flats, or tennis shoes, or even no heeled boots. I'm like Mrs. Flora (except not glamorous), a wonderful glamorous teacher I once had who wore heels everywhere for the same reason. She even gardened in her heels. At 5'2", okay crap, 5'1.5" I'm destined to wear heels for the rest of my life. I'll be that little old lady in the not matching clothes waddling down main street teetering on her heels, flipping you the finger for driving too fast or having your music up to loud. God help us all.

10. It's late and I have no idea what to cook. They're getting sandwiches and they'll like it. Although I'd probably give them ice cream too if they asked.

Sigh............strangely I feel better!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

My Brave Girl

Today was Princess' first karate tournament.
We got up at 530, got there for registration at 730. It didn't start till 10. Shoot me. I'm exhausted.
2 months in karate and her first tournament presenting her form. This was about the moment that she noticed that the three other contestants were all colored belts. This was suppose to be novice, 1 year and under division for traditional forms. I'm thinking, NOT. Then she noticed that she was the ONLY WHITE BELT in the entire event.
Then she got up there and busted out her form in precise, perfect form. I was amazed at how graceful and elegant she was.
She got a 7.91. She came in last. They gave out three trophies.
There were four contestants. She congratulated everyone and chatted with the others.

Then she has a "come apart" in the car.

Except it wasn't that she was last, it was cause the judges didn't even speak to her much less shake her hand after acknowledging the others and passing out trophies.

I had to leave, cause I'm a mean arse.

But she was awesome.....and she's ready for testing in October, her first. And then the next tournament in April, she's ready.

There aren't words for how utterly privileged I am to be the mother of such an amazingly strong, good person.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Burn Baby Burn

The Man decided to build our fire pit today. We had originally planned to have one in our deck/upper grassy area, but since that idea was scrapped and the log came into play, he just built it in a corner of our yard.
So I came home to this beauty.
Doesn't it look really sharp. He does good work.
And his vision to to create a starburst of pavers around the outside, about 3 feet out to have a place for our benches and planters. Ohhhh purty. Eventually. You gotta start somewhere.

And surprise, it works!

And we became the most watched house in the neighborhood as every single neighbor for blocks came walking by to observe, but not speak. I love Utah.

****This just in***** The Man has refused my petition to dance semi-naked around our new firepit tonight in a faux pagen ritual, doesn't seem to think the neighbors could deal.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

(taken last week, before the HOA letter went out.....hmmm)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

How Does This Come Across?

I fired this email off does this sound?

Dear "HOA IDIOT (insert proper stupid name here)"

I received a letter regarding a rear yard violation today dated Sept 12, out of your office. My concern is that we are still within our allotted time frame for completing our rear yard landscaping. Not to mention, it's obvious from the fresh dirt and equipment in our rear yard that we are already in the process of completing this task. The violation/letter also noted that we needed to maintain our weeds. There are no weeds or any violations in our backyard so I'm puzzled as to why we received this letter. I would be happy to provide you with pictures taken last week of our progress should there be any confusion. I also wanted to make sure that this in no way constitutes an actual violation in our records with the HOA, as this does not apply to us.

I am still awaiting word also that our account has been updated. I spoke with your office awhile ago regarding the two bills that we've received. One stating that we owe you money and the other stating that we have a credit on our account. As per my records, we do still have a credit on our account. I noticed that our lot #1104 had two separate account numbers. Please let me know if this matter has been cleared up.

We are very much enjoying our new home in (insert neighborhood here) and would like our dealings with the HOA to be enjoyable as well. If you have any concerns or need to speak directly with me, you can reach me at (insert number here) during normal business hours.


That was diplomatic right?

Monday, September 15, 2008

Back in the Saddle Again

The happy-paper-writer is strapping on her spurs.

I'm off sabbatical and going back into school. Except I'm awaiting word, as I've requested a change in major. Little extra work on my end for this new degree program but honestly....I'm worried that if I stick with my business administration degree that I'll just end up as a degree carrying admin. I'm already an admin with 14 years in the saddle.

I wanta be something else when I grow up.

Cross your fingers, I should know by the end of this week if I'm accepted into the new program.

Oh I hope so, harder classes mean more challenge.

And a degree in a field I've never worked in means I'll have to bust my butt.

I'm so ready.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Fruits of Their Efforts

As parents who had exhausted every means of trying to constantly keep our girls on the right track to responsiblity and growth (i.e. Why do I have to tell you to pick up your clothes, I've asked you four times to do your reading...blah blah blah), We recently instigated a chore/reward chart my friend Jac mentioned.

That crap works.

Yesterday was the two week end to the first trial run. They completed more than enough stars (predetermed amounts by my calculator weilding husband) to attend a local fun zone/party central mind boggling kind of place where there are rides, games and food.

We started at 4 and bought wristbands for the entire family. We got home at 1130. I'm in a coma, but my girls won over 1200 tickets off $20 bucks (I am really good at strategy on those machines) and they came home with tons of prizes and toys.

We rode go carts till Duchess threatened to vomit on me. We did bumper boats in the water, where Duchess and I were held hostage and soaked by a bunch of preteen boys. The Man and Princess did round and round of race tracking. We attempted mini golf until the local peewee football team behind us became too much to handle and we bailed back to the games.

It was great. All for under a hundred bucks, easy!

This morning, we all slept late and the girls woke me up to know when the new chart would go into effect. So we've decided upon the next treat, in four weeks time now. This time we're gonna go for a family day at a nearby mountain town. Fun times ahead.

Only and if, our kids both reach their quota.....actually not true. If one kid reaches it and one doesn't. One parent will take the kid on the outing and one will stay home with the other one for a normal day. We set this rule up as an incentive to keep it fair. After all, they have different chores and are very different little girls, so this is working for us.

So as I've been asked what we have on our chore/reward list.......

Chore/Required tasks everyday:
-brushing teeth
-brushing hair
-making bed
-manditory reading before bed (times and types differ per kid)
-putting away all shoes in the house by the doors (Duchess only)
-picking up livingroom pillows and removing toys (Duchess only)
-picking up dog pooh (princess only)
-helping mommy wiht laundry -folding/putting away only (princess)
-tidying their bathroom
-good attitude
-good beahavior at school/karate
-laying out school clothes and packing backpacks

Things we give extra credit for:
-being sweet to each other
-taking on extra chores just because
-helping mom/dad with a project
-being respectful to other adults
-being helpful without being asked

Things we take away credit for:
-hiding clothes under beds/closets
-mistreating Murphy

Since we started this, the turn around in the girls is amazing. We still have rough days of mom/dad suck and we hate the world, but we are raising two little girls, so we kinda expect that.

It's nice though to see that they are becoming more responsible for themselves and their things. Plus, it's really nice to be able to yell "Don't make me take a star"

Friday, September 12, 2008

She Gets It From Me

Did I mention that Princess is rocking in karate?

Leading the other white belts in class......Paying attention and noting exactly what her instructor wants to see from her........
Then kicking some major she preps for Sept 20th when she'll participate in her first tourney!

That kid rocks.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Did you know?

That three months ago if you were to .... oh shampoo-ing the carpet of your soon to be old house when you noticed that your shampoo-er was clogged up at the intake with gunk, and you were to ......say....borrow your husband's drill and tear it down to bare basics to clean it up and then put it back together........

And then it didn't work, as in the rollers refused to roll.......

On the machine you'd spent 200 bucks on three months earlier.......

And you needed to shampoo your new house cause your new doggie had an accident on your carpet.......

That if you were desparate enough to think, hey maybe it was me.......

Just maybe, I put it together wrong.....

Just cause I'm not a technical person and just because all the pieces did go back in.....

Maybe, just maybe, I farked it up......

So if you were to repeat the process tonight in the middle of your kitchen floor......

And after performing the "jaws of life" on your new puppy for trying to swallow a screw that huh, The Man walks in and goes "No you didn't" then you might see the cloud of knowledge go across his face, as he realizes that maybe, just maybe that you'd done that in the first place and then wouldn't admit to it when it broke........

Did you know that if you move out of the way, and The Man (techincal to the max) were to whip that bad boy back together again while a dog tried to eat his face off as he laid on the floor, that just maybe.....

That son of a b*tch would actually work.......


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

What we really do without TV

Since we've forsaken cable/satelite in our home, after the girls go to bed, it gets really quiet. So have to come up with something to keep us entertained.

(forgive me for not knowing how to upload video without it appearing in duplicate screens. Someone should tutor me.....)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I am I am I am.......really I am

I am a good parent, Yes, I am.....really. Truly......

This is what I get for leaving Duchess to do her homework alone, unsupervised while I do laundry....what was I thinking?

Just a parent who should pay more attention to the songs that she blares in her car, on repeat no less.....

(Notice the high heels she's wearing.......mental note: put my heels up!)

Monday, September 8, 2008

Thank you

(seems to be the season for open letters!)

Dear Pastor,

Thank you for the moving sermon on Sunday. I needed that.

I had a horrible morning, spent chasing wild little pissy dogs all over my neighborhood before finally getting him back in his harness.

I argued with my children repeatily over their inability to do something when asked or told once, instead of fourteen times.

The Man who sleeps days, yelled at me cause I let sunlight into our bedroom when I came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel fresh from the shower. So I went to church in jeans, a t-shirt, flip flops, wet hair and no makeup. Nobody cared.

Due to the dog fiasco and Princess' inability to catch the little turd, we were 30 minutes late, but surprisingly singing had went long, so I arrived right on time for sermon.

I needed a reminder that the measure of my life is counted by my family and the happiness in my heart. Not the things I've yet to accomplish.

Thank you Jesus for my dear friend, who reminded me of that fact just the night before on a late night call from Canada.

I left your house with my eyes lifted and my heart light.

The girls and I started over and had a wonderful day.

When my DVD player died, I didn't shoot it, curse it or even hammer it to pieces. I simply tossed it away and went to get another.

And when I heard something go bump in the night and couldn't find my gun, instead of calling The Man in a panic. I simply loaded the 12 guage and checked the house. Rock steady! Cause Jesus has got my back.

Here's hoping today is just as good as yesterday.


Saturday, September 6, 2008


Dear Google,

I heart you. Seriously, today alone you won my heart.

1. You taught me how to use a weedeater.

2. You then taught me that the grass will grow back after I scalped the edges of the yard. Opps.

3. You taught me to make a really good loaf of gluten free bread, unlike the miserable, poisonous previous attempts I have tried.

For this alone, you have my eternal devotion.


Friday, September 5, 2008


Conversation held exactly 4.3 minutes ago.....

"You gotta teach this dog how to use the potty pad, he piddling all over my house."

"He's pouting over that harness"

"I don't care, this is nuts"

"Well short on me getting on all fours and showing him how to piss on the pad...."


"opps, sorry honey, didn't see you there, I'll pay for your therapy"

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Word to the Warning

This sits in the middle of the hallway to my office......

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Don't Laugh

I'm sharing, cause that is what friends don't laugh......

Since I'm trying to get more intouch with my female, housewife side (rather than my give directions and crack the whip work side) I decided to MAKE decorations for the girls' rooms.

Stop laughing....
So this is Princess' comforter. She loves this thing. The breezy pink curtains in her room just pop and work so well with this thing. So I decided to do the obvious. Use the comforter and make matching paintings for above her bed. Scared yet?

You should be.........brown, pale yellow and white......
throw in some green, just case.......
Off center works right?
So you tell me......
Does it work?
Cause if not, I'm pretty sure I can use them to cook BBQ pork ribs on the grill.....

Monday, September 1, 2008

Labor Day

In celebration of Labor Day, I made them labor.

We have sorted laundry, done laundry, pulled out winter clothes/fall clothes, cleaned all shoes (baby powder, wipes girlfriend), scrubbed room, made a chore/reward chart that has my children running in fear of the words (I'll take back a star!), cleaned out my bedroom completely, dug out my record player and records, organized my closet by color and texture (OCD much?), finished four canvas paintings for my girls' rooms (cause I'm cheap like that baby) and hung one of my prized mirrors in the hall beside the girls' rooms, low so they can do their hair in the morning (and cause it drives The Man insane to walk by a mirror that all he can see is his belt) and I made a turkey for dinner....well, cause it's cold outside.

This cold snap also brought forth the attack of the killer sinuses.

We're snotty and coughing and mean.