Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!

Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!


Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this us....


This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public


My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween 08

(can you tell it's cold outside?)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Notes for Future House

Proper stove ventilation....

Since I'm doing Accounting homework, The Man took over dinner.

Broiled bbq ribs, fried potato squares and corn on the cob.

Except, he let the oil get too hot (only 1 inch in the pan, but dang...)

He dumped in the potatoes.

The instant mushroom cloud made it very apparent that there was no real ventilation in my kitchen.

The fan you ask? Well it just moves the smell, heat, etc to the top of the room.

Since I couldn't see him through the cloud of smoke and crap, I ran to open the front door and the back door and two windows.

Before the smoke detector went off....

And then the fire alarm that triggers the security alarm.....

Which then calls me and the police......

Give me a break.....or just some ribs and some burnt potatoes......

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Tub Effect

I think I've finally realized why oh why I've become so very dry and scaley (sorry! TMI) since moving to Oooootah.....

Big, oval shaped bathtub. The first super sized bathtub I've ever had. I'll never go back.


I started thinking about the sad shape of my feet, the cracking of my hands (someone mentioned to seal the cracks on my knuckles with super glue, OMGAWD) and the sad dryness of the rest of me.

Then it hit me.........

I'm obviously forgetting to add baby oil to my three baths a day.


Problem solved.

(Oh come on......tell me you don't wake up......take a bath/or shower, then come home and take a quick bath and/or shower, and then after the kids are in bed, take your latest sl*t novel or accounting textbook and go soak in the bath/shower to relax......everyone does it, right?)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Little Bits

Little things from this week that made me smile..........and cause it's Week 4 in Accounting, I need smiles people!
Sleep, Work, Hunt (repeat).......... The Man, my guy washing my beloved puppy in MY big tub because Murphy's chunky butt is now too big for a sink bath. They grow so fast. I was such a big help, I cheered them on.
Princess keeping the Murphster warm after his bath....... such a lovely warm child.

Duchess actually getting within 5 feet of Murphy. She's come a long way baby and is no longer scared what so ever of her puppy. Four months.............GAWD.

I love those smiles........

Not that it's cold weather around here, the poop pup has sweaters, and since it's a house of mostly girls, he has one for everyday of the week. Isn't he adoreable?

Sunday, October 26, 2008


I waited weeks till it went on sale, then made the trip to B&N for it and then sat down and read it all yesterday. In one sitting.......for it to end in a seriously disturbing cliffhanger.......dang.....

So my accounting source is out of contact.......anyone really stinking good at accounting want to check my homework for me?

Saturday, October 25, 2008

The Wind is Blowing

Does anyone else feel like the wind is blowing in the wrong direction?

I'm really nervous about the state of our nation. The very basis for all our economics is dwindling. Times they are achanging. Except, I don't notice it anywhere but the news. I'm not seeing the difference in the amount of shoppers at the mall or B&N (where I may or may not have just bought books). People are still buying and that includes me.

I'm having a change of heart.

I'm thinking that a more minimalistic lifestyle might be in order.

Which hurts my heart cause it means no more high heels shoes.

But you know what, if the predictions are right, if we elect someone who has had 3 years of Senate history and put him in charge of the largest most powerful country in the world, which is already having serious economic problems.........are things gonna get worse. Or is there a miracle in the making?

I'm hedging my bets but I do think we're in for worse times. I'm a realist not a dreamer. I don't pull rainbows out of my ears.........

The survivalist that I married who can serious argue the need for land out in the middle of nowhere, stocked with game and a water source..........well he is kinda making sense.

How do you see the wind blowing?

Friday, October 24, 2008

This & That

1. It's week 3 of accounting. I just finished my homework for the week. It was 18 problems. I had taken 12 pages of notes, and it took 6 scrolls of my spreadsheet in Excel to get to the bottom. How many licks to the center of a lolly pop?

2. Lucky for me, I work with some super smart peeps. Honestly there is one person so smart in accounting (hello CPA) and so patient with me that on my break today I went and had a mini meltdown over not knowing how to do my depreciation accounts. He taught them to me. In 5 minutes. Gawd......if only I were that sharp. To digest this crap and spit it up golden. Geeeez.

3. A friend of mine is getting her psychology undergrad degree. Which is actually very amusing for me. We gossip and she gives people official labels. It's fun, cause she graduates in May so she can do that. Except, today she whipped out the book and diagnosed me. While I was trying to churn out a project, laughing as I swore and called her names...... I asked somebody to fire her but they said, NO! Did you know that there is very close relationship between OCD and Narcissist Behavior blah-whatever? Yeah neither did I....... so on that note, I'm not OCD. I'm just very clean and very much like it organized. Alot.

4. Narcissist people suck. If you are one? Sorry. Honestly they are the least likely people to be my friends. Because I really don't have patience for all that drama. They never return the favor, you know what I mean. They are that other mom who NEVER volunteers to do carpool, cause she'd have to get up and put her face on first.

5. Murphy is huge. The baby has grown taller, wider and snores. Since crating him day and night was too not cool, he now sleeps with me. NEVER thought that would happen. EVER.

6. The Man made me dinner and kept quiet while I took my homework test. My mom came and got my kids so I could knock it out. I LOVE THEM. Supportive begins with family. I so couldn't do this without them.

7. My mom got a car that is as cute as she is. That rocks. I love new cars. Wonder how fast it'll go?

8. Duchess wounds me. When I picked her up at my mom's after my test, she ran to me and whispered "oh I misseded you"........

9. Princess said a quick hi mom and then left me for The Man.

10. When did they get so big? Sigh.........

11. I want to be at Disney with CG! I need a vacation.......

Doing a quick re-read, it sounds so negative. But I'm actually rocking quite the good mood. Now, excuse me. There is ALOT of sleep in my future.


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

(Mental Eyeroll)

Tonight after making the rush after work trip to pick up Jade before the dealership closed, I remembered that we had literacy night at Duchess' school. Which we thought was a manditory meeting. Whatever. So I met the kids and The Man there.

It was in actuality a meeting for the teachers to laminte that they only had 2.5 hours a day to teach our kindergarteners. Therefore it was to teach us parents how to jump in and assist in our teaching our children.

Sight word practice, every night. Reading (for grades), every night. Working on their names, every night. Sounding out simple words, every night. The list went on. I got a headache. And I realized just how much I miss California, Texas and Louisiana schools. They actually taught my kids. What I did at home was extra work, not "necessary for the development of my child or else they'll be stupid forever" work. OMG! I have to get off this subject before I shake something loose.

Anywho, while listening to my lecture, I mean speech, oh what ever, I noticed that Duchess' classroom was decorated with little paperpeople, decorated in high fashion for Halloween. We completely forgot that they'd sent the paperperson home with instructions to completely dress them (with real clothes!) for fun! And so on the ride home (cause I may have stood up at the 1 hour mark and walked out with my kids) I told Duchess that we would finish hers to take to school.

The instant we step foot in the house, it was on. The kid wouldn't let me get my other shoe off. So we got busy.
Duchess had already "helped" by coloring some of her person and adding a face (with the worse grill I've seen in a long time), so I sacrificed a barbie outfit and got busy.......

What this kid doesn't seem to appreciate is that I DON'T SEW. Ever. I pay people to hem, reattach buttons and so forth. Ripped pants? Toss them. I don't do sewing. So for me to hunt down a kit and actually sew this outfit on this doll is huge.
Now the hard part was hair. I tried to cut some hair off of their dolls for this, but they had a fit. Weenies. So The Man shredded some white rope, and when we ran out of glue? We used spray adhesive that The Man uses when working on cars. Ghetto fabulous.....When the hair was attached, we then weighed it down with my trusty ever-present lotion bottle. (Hey I'm dry!)

Then rather than have me bleed all over the damn thing, The Man jumped in to finish the sewing. Thank you to his grandma and the Navy for teaching him to thread a needle. And come on, really has he ever been more studly than watching him sew a dress on a paperdoll for his precious Duchess?

When it was all said and done?
The Bride of Frankenstein.......appropriate I think, it matches her grill.....
Although Duchess says "she's a Barbie".
You say Po-tat-o, I say Tator.........

Sub par to .....

The rental car company called me today. They quickly explained that they wanted to "swap" my little sub par rental with something else, "cause we sold that car".


You sold that piece of crap? (His silence)

So an hour later I get a call that they are in my office lobby awaiting to run me down and switch cars.

So I got a station wagon.............

Peeps, just in case you don't know me by now, I have never been nor will I ever be a station wagon kind of offense if you are, it's all cool. For you, not for me.

So I quickly called to check on Jade and turns out she'll be ready tonight or tomorrow.


Because you have NO idea how my crap I'm gonna catch from my husband if I pull up in a station wagon......

*** I have my Jade back..................heaven.

Monday, October 20, 2008

oh baby......

When I get stuck taking pictures without my camera, I'm usually using my crackberry. So that explains the sub par pictures, not be confused with the sub par rental.

So today since I had the day off with the kids, I actually had time to go with Duchess to see her in action at karate. Usually I get blow-by-blow from Princess as Duchess goes over from after school care while I'm still at work.

I had no clue what I was missing........
The kid is a tiger. Except, she stops in mid-move to fix her hair, or tidy her gei, or worse, pick her drawers out of her butt, my personal favorite. It is hysterical. If you ever wonder why Duchess gets away with murder, well..........she's the baby..........
And she's cutthroat. I am quite serious. She has no problem kicking you when you're down. This is the same kid who smacked another kid on the playground with her belt cause he was being bad. OMG, did I just admit that outloud. Her excuse? Her reasoning? He was being a turd. And it's not like I hit him hard. I just tapped him, he didn't even cry mom........(and only a FYI: note was sent home, asking me to please not include a belt in her outfits, turns out the kids take them off and use them as whips, swords and snakes....great) OMG......... this is also the same child who when her sister broke apart a double popcicle and offered her 1/4 of the thing, she immediately poked her in the eye with stick. She was 3 when that happened. Except, this kid has something in her that will keep her out of the pen........ The kid has heart.
Tonight when she prayed, holding both mine and Princess' hands........she said this.......

"Heavenly father I thank you for this day. For my friends and family. For my doggie. For my blankey and for my mom. I thank you for dying on the cross for me. Also Lord please let me grow up to be a good adult. I want to be a great mommy like mine. Amen"

I had to leave the room and have myself a good cry.........

I love you too baby.......cause I know deep down, that you get that vindictive steak from your momma.

P.S. Maybe one day I'll explain why you can never wear those cute little pink belts to school anymore sweetie.........

Sunday, October 19, 2008

She Rocks

Last night Princess had her first karate test. She was going for yellow belt. Adding some color to her all white outfit. Duchess and I were sitting quietly watching.......
Okay not so quietly, I was hooting and hollaring and clapping at this point. Duchess was playing her Barbie computer so it wasn't quiet at all. Think "good job" in Barbie's extremely high feminine voice. I hate that voice. Barbie needs a smoking habit, roughen that voice up a little.
She went to town on her classmate who showed up to assist with her test.
And then she was all "game" face when it was time to put her new belt on, under supervision.
But she's a cheesy smiley happy girl now..........

Yellow is my new favorite color. Go Princess Go.


2nd Accounting test?





Going to collapse, must breathe.....

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Dear Jade,

Dear Jade,

I miss you. I am having horrible separation anxiety. I miss everything about you, and frankly my rental car is just sh*t. It can't hold a candle to you.

I should have known that when I took you in for your doctor's appointment (i.e. warranty check up) that you wouldn't be coming home anytime soon. I took you in because Princess broke your back passenger door (let this be a lesson that yes, you can break the door from slamming it too hard), your engine light was on, your nifty sunroof suddently wouldn't work and you had a knocking in the heater. So it was time for a warranty check up.

But because I bought you at a national car chain, my warranty is good anywhere. Thank you Jesus. So I cleaned you out and handed over your keys. I tried not to sniffle as I left you my Kid Rock CD to listen to in the middle of the night, then climbed into The Man's truck where he gave me an endless supply of crap.

Then the call came........during their mandatory inspection, they found your shocks were bad (if you've ever rode anywhere with me, you'll not be surprise by this news), your transmission seal was slightly leaky and you needed roters.

Then the call came that the warranty inspector was coming in to verify you were so sickly. I would be without you for a tad bit they gave me a rental car.

I should have passed on it when they drove it around to meet me, without hubcaps......what kind of first impression is that? Trashy, that's what, that's like me not wearing a bra! Rude.....

So while my lovely Jade is in the shop, I'm stuck with "sub par" rental.

**Princess asked on our way to the grocery store earlier if we were taking the rental. I replied Heck No! and said we were taking Daddy's truck because the rental was sub par. She then walked by the rental in the garage and patted it, "good sub par"***

So Jade, I'll be thinking of you while I'm forced to drive the tuna can on wheels......with no AC, cloth seats and no Boise 6 guts........


Friday, October 17, 2008

My Night in Pictures (with subtitles)

(While The Man grilled dinner, I did stuck........ ranted...... raved...... complained.... whined........ got annoying...... ignored him when he threatened to move me to the basement......... whined some more......... panicked........ and so on..........)

(Officially confused..... cause honestly.......when dealing with rent expenses, I understand..... dealing with acquisions...... I understand......... dealing with rental equipment........ lost in the woods........ was it a (-) cash then a (+) other asset? Or was it a (-) cash and then a (-) owner's equity? Urgh...... so I went with my gut, which The Man says was wrong....... damn it)
(So I emailed my question and my work to my teacher....... who this morning replied........ )

(Turns out I was right..... (-) cash and (-) owners' equity....... how many of you have I lost here? Cause this is seriously important to me at this exact moment..... love me anyway please?)

(The Man's response............ I'm sure you can figure it out from above...... but it's all good, he's taking me to IKEA tonight........ I'll get even...... insert evil laugh)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Blaring in my Car Today.....

Keeping it real folks.... and may I suggest twitching your shoulders and wiggling your butt to the beat. It truly does enhance the song..........

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Week 1 Over

Week one of Accounting 1001 is over. Someone please remind me why oh why someone who still counts on her fingers has to have accounting for her degree? Please, cause my degree sure as shippy isn't in accounting.

Anyway, week 1 is over and I made an A on my test. But I'm still awaiting the grading on the rest of the week. Sigh........

But last night I began homework for this week, and for my life I couldn't figure out why I was lost. Why after reading the chapter twice, taking notes and then highlighting my notes, I couldn't remember the answers to their hypothetical questions about company and crap. So I had some more Dr. Pepper and went back into the fray, where I discovered that the answers were all in Chapter 3.

Ummmmm hello. Our reading assignments were for Chapter 2, arsehats........

So this morning I'm reading Chapter, take notes, highlight, rinse and repeat.....


Sunday, October 12, 2008


Last night we took the kids on another reward/chore chart treat. Since the nickel arcade was closed, we diverted and took them ice skating.

This is huge because only one person in the family has skated before, Princess. So after an hour and 12 minutes we threw in the towel. Mainly because while Duchess and The Man were holding hands and inching along the edge of the rink, Princess was lapping like a pro and being super cute. Me, well let's just put it this way, my left side has a bruise the size of New Jersey on my hip, my arse is sore, my hands are all red still and my knees are groaning.

Ice skating is not my secret "thing". You know that one thing each person is brilliant at? Well strike another thing off my list, I'll keep looking. But damn I looked good doing it. On the way home, in the freezing cold, the kids were planning our next trip, The Man was thinking of a yearly membership and I was praying for no more ice ever, or snow.

So when I got up to take Murphy out this morning, I really shouldn't have been surprised to see that the first snow of the year has graced my yard. DAMMIT.
Although poor Murphy has no clue what that white stuff is, but he is loving it. He comes back in soaking wet and blissfully happy. Why couldn't he hate the snow? Please? We went out three times this morning without him doing his business at all........picky arse dog.
So I went and woke up The man, who promptly saw and fixed the problem.
So I put green spray paint on my list.......Once it freezes and I can't shovel him out a poop spot, I'm gonna paint him one........

Welcome winter, you mean arse.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

In Loving Honor

When the news come, you just stop. The gross margin % numbers I was configuring just blurred. I just sat. The Man got a call and just like that, things are different. I came home to wrap my arms around him and just hold on tight.

You were the man who taught my man how to do everything wrong. The one who introduced him to trouble, yet who built him up and made him who he is today. You taught him to fish, you taught him to swear properly and then not to tell his dad.

You were a helluva man. You were one of 11 kids raised during the Great Depression, you were the last to pass on. You were handsome and full of self and even the last time I saw you, you had a swagger to your step. You were big, in size, spirit and heart. The Man is built just like you.

You joined the Navy during the draft because you got tired of little old ladies on the street asking why a big strapping boy like you weren't you fought. You were a hell raiser of the first degree. You left behind a family broken because of your passing, but honored because you were one of us.

You were a legend. Once upon a dating time, The Man and I went swing dancing amongst some older crowds. There we met a sweet old lady named Peaches who upon hearing The Man's last name, immediately recognized you in him. Then sent you a big ole wink and message, you were once a wild as the wind.

You were the first in line to welcome me to the family, the first in line for that kiss after my vows. You never missed an opportunity for a big ole hug.

You were loved.

Till we see you again, lovely.......


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Blurry Take Down

Since Princess got her karate sparring gear, she's been practicing on The Man. Notice that to "even" up the score, mom tied his right arm up and made him fight on his knees......

But this blurry photo is the documented proof that her roundhouse kick is improving quite abit.

Get'em girl

Monday, October 6, 2008

Fruits of my Efforts

Dear new pink/white Naughty Monkey shoes:

I love you. I can't wait to have you on my feet. I'm very excited that you only have a 3 inch heel rather than my usual 4 inch stack. I'm also excited because you are freaking hot! Given that I dress like a school librarian most of the time, I can count on you to liven up my day. All I have to do is look down......


Hello lover......

I'm a dangerous shoe shopper. The scariest part? The girls will fight over who gets to try them on first. I'm raising some serious shoe addicts.

Did I mention that these babies were not the usual $100 a pair?

Hello EBAY, you rock!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

True Love

Do you ever wonder how much someone might truly love you? Seriously ponder the thought?

Well I have no doubts at all about the Photo-Elusive-Step-Dad of mine.

While chatting with my mother earlier on the phone, I was hosing off my porch and generally prepping my front porch for cold weather when I mentioned that I wanted a fence to sink above my log so that I could drap it with honeysuckle come spring.

She immediately handed to phone to the Photo-Elusive-Step-Dad who reminded me that he was venturing home to Louisiana next month for hunting season at his camp........oh baby......

So I asked him to please stop at any tinkers he passes back home in the woods and see if he could come across a piece of wrought iron decorative fencing or even a gate. As much or as little (preferably much) as possible. I would be a complete person if he succeeded.

He asked exactly what I was looking I told him, you know something old from back home that looks like it belongs on a little old lady's yard or better yet an old cemetary.

He said he'd stop and check out the tinkers he passed but it all else failed, he knew of an old graveyard from the 1700's back in the woods where they might be pieces of fence still standing.

Be still my heart.

This is true love.

And hopefully something like this from my home parish or surrounding areas will be gracing my backyard come spring. Wrapped lovingly in honeysuckle, a little piece of illegal Louisiana beauty keeping Utah bearable.........

True love people.

Send Help......

It's raining, the girls are confined to their rooms until they either fall asleep or clean them. I'm done with my homework and....and.....I'm shopping for shoes......Help!!!!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Debate Central

So Thursday night in preparation of the VP debate, we set up our entertainment center, high tech we are not......
Grabbed speakers from the desktop downstairs to watch on the laptop while we cooked, ate and then cleaned up from dinner. When it started I was almost done with dinner. We sat quietly and all listened while we ate, until the same-sex part then we muted it for the kiddos.
The by the time it was over, I had the entire kitchen cleaned and shiney. The kids crashed, leaving The Man and I to finish the show. Although you can't see him, Murphy is actually deep in the bowels of his crate hiding from Biden.
Wish was napping at the bottom of his bowl. They weren't the only ones put to sleep but the drone of Biden's voice. Everytime he went on and on in that strangly hipnotic voice of his, my laptop froze up too........interesting.

All in all, I enjoyed the debate. It was nice to get to know each of them a little better.

But now, can we get the focus back on the main event please?

Next debate coming up! This time, I'm baking through it.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

What do you do on Saturday afternoons?

Welcome to the mountain behind my house. Seriously if you follow my street out about a block, the road disappears into a gravel road that leads up these mountains. So this is where we 4x4 and shoot.
Speaking of shooting, I was trying out The Man's pea-popper. Which is actually an AK-47 but what's in a name.....that thing is jamming! And did I mention it was Saturday? Hence the comfy clothes and boots. Shut up........
This is the real reason I went.................Daymn!!!!!!!!!!! And can I just point out a tiny little "the man" fact? Above that tattoo? Is my name........That is true love people.
And true parenting........We let the kids get very involved when we shoot, whether it's targets or clays because that is the only way they will be comfortable around guns. We're teaching them responsiblity and safety........door kicking training starts next week.......

So what did you do this weekend?