Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!

Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!


Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this us....


This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public


My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Friday, February 29, 2008

Once Upon A Time....

There was a lady with shiny hair, glasses and a cool green purse. She was a go-getter, a trend setter in the worst possible fashion and a dedicated book lover. She had the perfect little family and a sporty little sedan, she was happy.

Life was not always so.........once upon a time she was a military wife who struggled to make ends meet, who learned to pinch a penny in the times that the ends wouldn't meet and take care of her little ones when The Man was gone. He was gone alot.

She started out sassy as a little child and as the years added to her face and body, she just kept growing in personality and attitude. She learned pretty early that being a people pleaser was just too damn much work and so she became as stubborn as the day is long. Eventually people quit being shocked over this and just excepted her as she was, or ignored her.

She has moved alot, held alot of jobs and generally became an expert in unpacking and setting up her house in four days or less. She wound up with some awesome employment opportunities and has seen her career grow fruitful.

She stands on her faith when times are good, hands in the air in thanks and on her knees when things are rough. She probably leans too heavily on The Lord at times but he plows the road and she follows, whatever the road looks like.

She indulges way too much in her book collection, she ignores the bowflex and has a cookie instead. She hasn't watched an entire movie in years, she always falls asleep in the middle or picks up a book to read discreetly. She is addicted to Dr. Pepper, cigs and baths. She seriously has at least two baths a day, oh and a morning shower. Baths cure everything, sad? Take a bath... crampy? Take a bath..... bored? Take a bath...... see how simple it is really? Baths are the answer.

She still hasn't managed to lose the 15 lbs of baby fat since having the baby, who is now 5. She alternates betweeen clothing sizes so frequently that she has her closet divided into three sections...seriously.

She loves to work and loves her work. She logs into her network at least once before bed to make sure things are still under control. She carries two cell phones and can tell by the way the purse vibrates, which one is ringing, personal or work. If she calls and chats with you to catch up, she is either cleaning her house (i.e. scrubbing the oven, laundry, cleaning tubs) or in the bathtub. You'll never know.....she is a pro at disguising this. She'll tell you that she is doing nothing if you ask.

She loves her kids more than life itself, but finds the rate at which they are growing very scary. She is constantly reading up on information on how to better handle any issues that may come up kid wise. She constantly tells her oldest that she will gather up all the things not cleaned up in her room and have a garage sale, but never does. She sometimes bangs her head on the arm of the couch after having a conversation with the baby, whose thought process is quite abstract.

She believes that we are not alone. Because really, who are we to be that selfish and think that God created just poor little ole us in the big old galaxy we live in. However, she isn't sure about UFO's, Area 51 or Bigfoot. She believes in angels and demons. She loves vampire novels but doesn't believe they live among us. She doesn't believe in reincarnation, because that is selfish, we get one shot, one shot is more than we deserve, do the best that you can with it. She does believe in ancient civilizations like Atlantis. She believes that everything comes in cycles, from weather to the path of nations.

She will never be famous. She is completely comfortable with that. She wants most to grow old with her hubs and look back over her life and nod. She is comfortable with the idea of death, she just wants to see her kids grow up first please. She won't leave her kids for any amount of time without a handwritten will left with her mom for safe-keeping. She believes in destiny.

She is I and I am she.

I'm okay with that.

(Written for a class assignment, I occassionally re-read this as I find it gives me strength)

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Does Not Play Well With Others....Updated!

Today I'm doing something I hate. I'm attending a teambuilding exercise with my work staff. Not the men that I work for, no....the other staff, meaning the other girls. Sigh.........this is just a pain in my ass.

First off, I'm completely anti-social. I'm the person that told several wives whose husbands work with mine that I wasn't in the market for new friends, I didn't have the time and the friends that I have were wonderful and long time friends who couldn't and wouldn't ever be replaced. Plus, I just don't need extra people..........I'm such a shit. But off task: seriously I'm anti-social. I'm completely content to be with my kids and The Man all the time and never deal with anyone except my mom or girlfriends.

I'm a former military wife. This means that my best friends are few, I learned years ago that I don't have the time to form superficial relationships. But those friends that I do have, the shortest friendship is five years long. The rest, longer.......these are women who never ever forget my birthday, they will take my call at 2 a.m. asking immediately What is wrong and do you need me? They are the friends that love the bitch in you and celebrate your uniqueness, crap I'm tearing up right now just talking about them.......anyway, I'm anti-social.

Which is why it is pure toture to have to spend the afternoon bowling and having dinner with people who I would never be friends with. I work comfortably with them, even though I would rather email them a question than go to their desk. They aren't bad people at all. They are just not my people. I love my job, which is why I'm going.

So I wore jeans and a cute top and I'm gonna go bowl and eat with them. We don't actually have anything in common though, the one lady I work with that I adore and we mesh well, she called me as I was standing in my closet this morning trying to figure out what to wear with jeans. (Cause people I don't wear jeans to work ever, and they won't let me wear hoodies which is what I wear with jeans............) She wants to back out of dinner, cause really I don't want to eat with back out too..........oh sweetie I wish. But they all know I canceled a hair appointment already to do this so I'm kinda stuck..........

This is torture of the highest form. The other women are nothing like me. None are married or moms cause where we live, if you're maried or a mom you don't work...........ever........nothing........ever........till you die. But I'm not a usual woman and I like working, as my girls are growing and spreading their wings, they don't need me hovering as much. Plus I like being independent, dang, I'm off subject again........Seriously I have nothing in common with them. They live at home with their parents, work is a past time until they marry, I can't fathom their life and they can't fathom mine. Which is why a teambuilding idea is brilliant. This way we're all forced to sit and mingle. To find some common thread that will make working with each other easy.


pure and simple, torture..........

I have a hoodie in the car, I'm so not bowling in a work shirt, I'm standing my ground!

Update: ** I survived and surprised myself by being quite the stud bowler, holy cow it's been like four years but I was rocking out strikes like it was candy. Must have been the lucky hoodie, yeah the one that had my boss rolling her eyes and going Oh Hope4Grace.......hey, I waited till we were offsite before putting it on........hee hee (insert evil laugh here) But I survived, and when we all sat around talking houses and HOA's I think my coworkers were quite shocked to find that I'm quite agressive outside of work, gee, who knew?

Oh and for Frazzled Farm Wife: it just happens that I've recently replaced my poor old vacuum cleaner with not one but two vacuums. See I have a regular Bissel for the middle and bottom floors and a light weight Dirt Devil for upstairs, cause I hate dragging them up and down the stairs. Plus the kids' chores include vac-ing upstairs (cause if it's not perfect, who really cares) so they use the very lightweight here you go, my vac recommendations, I believe you were the one who asked.....

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Family that Shoots Together......

So this morning I'm reading my morning email and sipping my first Dr. Pepper, thanks to The Man who drank it all and left me in a house with none...when I notice that The Man sent me pictures from work. Turns out it was pics from when our family went shooting with another couple we know. It was this past fall before the snow blanketed everything.......and I just love them.

See this is how rednecks spend quality family time together......
We all get up and throw something on and get out there while the dew is still glistening on the grass. We carry lots of drinks, a few lawn chairs and lots of the girls are forever losing theirs. Big plugs, little ears......
If you're me, then you are still in your pjs with a sporty cap thrown in for fun. Look at the big ole bear hug I'm getting. Mainly I believe it was because I was threatening to shoot him if he didn't get better aim with the clays we were target shooting. He develops bad aim whenever it's my turn. I rock at clays and this is a sore point for him. Even though without my glasses I'm blind as a bat, I can still hone in on those bad boys. Or it could have been that I'm just such a hot shooting wife that he needed a hug, let's just go with that one.

Here's Duchess, she was assigned the task of guarding the drinks. She takes this job very seriously. She mean mugs anyone stupid enough to get close to them at all, cause they are to be saved, not wasted you silly thirsty person. Now stand back.......cause you know I'm a left handed shooter you know.

Princess is such a stud. This kid is truly the girl that will drive the boys nuts in high school. I preparing myself for this now. She's the shooting, hunting, primping, ballerina who wants to drive a 4x4 truck that she will work on herself. Damn.....that's just hot.
This is why I love my family though.........we're honest goodworking rednecks who just enjoy our life. And hate our HOA, god bless America.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Nervous Nellie

There are three things in this world that I want more than anything.......

1. My first real house, as in my mortgage

2. My hubs to finish his degree so I can return to school full time

3. A really great haircut

The first two are in progress. I've begun the impossible process of trying to figure out the whole mortgage thing for our first house. We're still trying to decide when we actually want to jump in the water though, sorry everyone, but watching those house prices march down is quite the high for me these days. The hubs is going back to school using his VA money, woohoo, and is on track for his degree.....

Now all that is left is a great haircut. I've had long hair for years. Straight with no real umph to it. Now, this is always a problem but I'm also the most gutless person you'll ever most cases........okay, only gutless with the whole hair thing......cause I have no problem speaking out, ask my cubicle co-worker who just this morning I threatened to get up, walk over, snatch that stupid sippy cup looking water bottle away from him and toss it out the office window into the parking lot below. The point was........I was not kidding in the least. I was quite serious that it was either stop the slurping or I was going to kill him and remove the bottle from my planet. See I'm not a shy person and have no problem with gutsy, except when it comes to my appearance.

What the hell is wrong with me? It's hair, not the cure for'll grow back. So I sucked it up and made myself an appointment for Thursday, gonna get me a cute chic mom Princess will quit gripping that I don't look old enough to be her mom, cause baby, I surely am...being over 30 is not pleasant and has done nothing to improve my disposistion. I'm just a bigger B than I was before 30.

So I would love some suggestions.........I would love some samples of great mom cuts......I would love any opinions except mean ones, then I'll have to come over and toss your water bottle out of the window........

Monday, February 25, 2008

The Beast

So yesterday was a very productive day, I grocery shopped and stayed well under budget. I made a lovely smothered pork chop and rice casserole for dinner with bread on the side, a lovely rosemary dusted combo, hello fancy! Oh and I also purchased "The Beast".
Like so many others, I spent way too much time on the appropriate aisle of Walmart trying to decide which machine I wanted. True, they have alot of models on display but I don't know about your Walmart but mine never has many boxes to actually choose from, lazy stocker people. But I found one I liked as it had the many features that I think is important in a shampoo-er (i.e. it pretty much runs itself) so I set out trying to find a price. Cause the box wasn't marked and the box info didn't match any of the tags and the bad boy was just too heavy to move myself. So after having it scanned and priced at a whooping $279 (I began drooling at that point) I was also told it was a deleted item meaning that nobody wanted to pay that so it wasn't selling. They would only carry cheaper versions........I hate cheaper versions. They suck. So I spoke with a manager and after explaining it my way, she said she'd sell it to me for 200. Score! I was in utter heaven, put that bad boy in my buggy and let's go to the checkout.
So I am now a proud owner of a beast. Which does all this and more....
"Bissell ProHeat 2X(R) CleanShot Upright Deep Cleaner:
-Offers CleanShot, heavy-duty spot cleaning at the push of a button
-Offers DryAire, heated air that dries the carpet while you clean
-Built-in heater heats tap water up to 25 degrees hotter for maximum cleaning
-2X Dirtlifter Powerbrushes — tough enough to get the deepest dirt, yet gentle enough to leave your carpets professionally groomed
-Custom clean allows you to choose between light, normal, heavy traffic and rinse settings
-Model# 9500"
Oh and the baby came with SIX attachments, I'm getting all excited just thinking about all the things I can clean with it. Hello couches and chairs........I have an attachment for you.....oh and carpet in my too........hardwood floor? Yep gotta covered. This is just gonna be fun.
So last night was the maiden voyage of the beast. I must say it went surprisingly fast and my floor was so pretty this morning, The Man actually remembered to take his shoes off in the foyer. Because wow honey, did you do the floor? It looks brand new........
The Beast and I are going to become quite close, I just feel it.

Saturday, February 23, 2008


Life is getting pretty dang sweet around here.

We are almost back to normal, everyone is still on a litle medication but hey medication is good for you. At least that is what I tell my girlfriend who can't live without hers.

The Man and I have decided that the best way to get settled again to to start a new routine. So here we go. Last night we took the kids out to eat. Now for us, this usually means a last minute drive through, but no.

We actually took them to a sit down restuarant. Joe's Crabshack. This is reaching for us. But I am pleased to announce that no kid ate off the floor, no one threw a fit, we all had plenty to eat and I tried claims for the first time. True, I spent an hour in the bathroom at home afterwards, cause my tummy and me, we don't like new foods. But I'm reaching, I'm extending. And you really wanted to know that huh? The bathroom part, I get that.

We've decided that to encourage those lady mannerism we're gonna stretch the kids' a little and eat out somewhere different, i.e. not out of a window, twice a month. I'm all excited about this idea. This is fairly novel for us.

But today after cleaning the last germs out of my house, I realized that I have to start seriously going through my house stuff soon. If we're to be first time homebuyers this summer, I'll need to seriously pare down the amount of utter sh*t I own. And it's alot. Now as former military I will admit freely that we copiously throw away lbs and lbs of crap every time we moved, wouldn't want to be over that nasty weight limit thing you know. But now that we are setttled in civilian life for exactly a year, I've noticed that we have alot of crap that still sits in storage boxes.

If it's been in a box for a year and I haven't used it, do I really need it?

Probably not. Which is why the one box I went through tonight was like Christmas. Oh, I love this, where has this been (oh yeah, never mind), this is great. Oh I know just where to put this....

This is probably not the way to properly purge my stuff. So the next box, I just tossed. Box and all. Then the next box, it actually got easier. Till I ran across my shampoo-er at the back of the storage room. Aha! That is where the bad boy was hiding.

Perfect. Cause my floor is looking drab and I have a mystery stain. Perfect. So I grabbed the clorox and was gonna clean it up real quick and make said stain so away. Until I opened the tank where the nasty stuff goes. OH SHIT, somebody forgot to clean it out when they put it away. So it's gross and mildewed and moldy and nasty.

This is where I took my newfound attitude and just tossed it all in the garbage. Then I sent The Man a little note at work letting him know it was time for a new shampoo-er. Just when you think you're being all good and not wasting anything, you end up needing a new shampoo-er.

It's so depressing that I've decided to just wait on purging the rest of the storage room.

I'm gonna go read a book in my bathtub instead.....cause that is productive........

Friday, February 22, 2008

My getting old

So life is getting back to normal at Hope central.
Princess is staying quite busy. Besides glamming it up with her short hair, which is way easier to fix than mine now, geez. She is starting choir. Let me repeat that, she is starting choir. I love my daughter and I know that she is many wonderful things.............a heavenly voice though is not one of those things. She is working up to piano lessons, she does okay on the guitar but the whole voice thing, she thinks she is American Idol and Hannah Montana all rolled into me. We bought her an ipod so we wouldn't have to listen to her "music" 24/7, but now instead of music, we hear her............hmmmmm not the effect we were looking for. However, when she commits to something it's 100% these days, so she is committing to choir, through her school. OMG. Pray for me now...........
Duchess has just decided to forgo any and all self-disipline and run wild. She has taken over my house in her own little way. With mom down, that means that she can sneak off and watch unlimited amounts of TV. This is the same problem that got her blacklisted from Fox News at my house not too long ago, with her propaganda speeches. So I shouldn't have been surprised when the director of her school announced to The Man yesterday that when she was teasing Duchess about how she'd love to have a daddy like hers (I just bet you would..........hurgh) Duchess announced that she would kick her in the nuts.


We do NOT say nuts in my house. We are a house of girls. True The Man lives there but we are always trying to watch our phrases so that we raise little ladies. It's important that they be raised little ladies, yes they can curse and kick and punch and bite and throw down but only if wearing pearls and saying thank you afterwards...............ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I blame the tv. The Man has had his hands full keeping me well and alive, plus making sure Princess and Duchess were fed, had clean clothes and homework done, so somewhere in the midst of all of that, Duchess has found time to feed the little demon inside her with some unapproved tv.

Damn it (said while wearing my pearls, thank you very much)

That's it, as of right now, I'm better. I can't be sick anymore. I can't drag my feet and nurse this bad boy for all it's worth. I have to get better. NOW. Cause no kid is mine is saying nuts.


Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Plague Came

This is the first time in a week that I've sat up for an hour.

The first time I've worn a bra (yep, went braless twice to the dr)

The first time that I haven't eaten actual food in a week

The first time that I have slept so much that I dream about being awake

The plague came and it took me, then after I pulled a tummy muscle from throwing up so much, it keep me.

Now I'm slowly making my way back.

Be patient with me............I've been living on water, runny flavor-less soup and popcicles.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Day That Wiki Died

I killed my children's fish. Or perhaps I should say I killed my fish, whom my children adored. The fish that survived the family before me who never fed him, causing him to eat part of his own fin in desperation. He survived the trama of their three year old playing with him in the bathtub. He survived all of that to become a part of my family.

The fish that when my office closed for the entire Christmas break, I made The Man take me on a snowy stormy night to get him cause he was alone. I fretted so much that we transported him home in a padded box, bowl and all. The Man took a nasty spill with him and about killed himself, all while safely transporting my fish to my house.

Where my children fell in love with big ole ugly red beta fish that was Wikipedia, or Wiki for short. He was happy here. We fed him three times a day. He sat in a place of honor on my coffee table in a beautiful new bowl. He was king of my livingroom. He would swim in lazy circles when I turned the record player on with hits from days gone by. He would agitate the water when The Man played alternative country or vaccumned, which must have sounded quite the same to him. If he was hungry or wanted a treat, he would stare at you until you gave in and fed him, I could feel that stare across the room. He was an amazing pet.

Two days ago, in all the hectic running around of a house with sick kids and deadlines, I waited up before bed to clean his bowl. Something that The Man usually does for me. But since he was working, I dove right in. I prepped the new water, conditioner tables and all then set it aside. I took out his little roman column and sanitized it properly all the while chatting on the phone to my girlfriend. I got the little cup and positioned his bowl right next to the sink so I could grab him up and put him in the little cup of water so I could rinse his bowl and move the treated water in. When I put the little cup into place and pinned him down where he had to swim in or jump out.

Well he jumped out. Straight into the sink and did a backflip into the garbage disposal. OMG. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dropped the phone and pulled his little body from the disposal with my hand and a quick poke realized that he was gone............

Did you know there were little sharp spikes in the garbage disposal?


I gave him a quick funeral with grace and a flush and called my husband hysterical. He wasn't at this desk, so I left a message and called my mommy.

After a quick explaination, she wanted to know if I tried CPR (I did wake her up for this so it was a fair question) I asked if a poke or two to his gills counted......Mom assured me that The Photo Elusive Step-Dad would be happy to go out the next day and procure a clone fish and sneak it in my house while we were at work/school so my children would never know. Yes, wrong......yes I know. But they were whiny sad kids who were just starting to feel better and it was our pet.

The Man called back and after a few minutes of dechipering my blubbering, he Well once we were done, he assured me that as soon as his carpool dropped him off, he would go straight into town and procure a clone fish. No worries, he would do it. Cause he knew how much that damn fish meant to me and the kids.

So the next morning, I let the kids sleep late, something I never do, hoping they would be in a rush and not notice the fish that wasn't there. Just in case, I'd done some sheets and folded them around the coffee table obscuring the bowl. After a quick assurance that Wiki did not need to be feed (poor bastard fish) they were content to rush off to school.

The Man and I passed in the driveway and after a quick hug, I knew he would take care of it all. It took 4 hours of precious sleep time and three stores to find a clone fish that somewhat looked like my Wiki. But this Wiki is alot smaller and more orange.

So we got home last night and sure enough there is a Wiki swimming around the bowl on my table. The kids fed him and Princess commented on how much smaller he looked in his clean bowl and they went off to do homework.

I sat down and cried. Cause this Wiki hates me. He runs from me and he hates my old records. I'm pretty sure someone told him that I killed the other Wiki.

May the original Wiki rest in peace.

I'm going to hell, and a dead fish will be my gatekeeper.......

Thursday, February 7, 2008


In my head, I'm a classy, graceful southern lady who just happens to live in the mountains of the west. When faced with the reality of what and who I am, I'm boggled. Really, my flaber is agast. Like when I think I'm looking total hot and then someone takes a picture and I'm like "who it hell is that poor idiot" oh yeah, it's me.

So I had one of those moments the other day at work. Technically I was on my lunch break. See, The Man and I have lunch together every Wednesday. It's our thing, we meet up somewhere and coo at each other. Actually we just get a chance to say the things that we haven't had time to talk about during the rest of the week. Work, bills, plans, pass out receipts. Things like that. Important stuff.

So since it was another freaking blizzard, we decided to meet up at this little place down the road from my work. He's sweet like that. So I get there and we're parking near one another so we walk in hand in hand, in the blizzard. As we're standing in line chatting, he looks behind us and tells me that my entire office is in line. Oh yeah, looks like everyone I work with had the same idea as us. So we smile and wave and keep our superior place in line and enjoy our lunch.

Afterwards, I notice that my work crew has secured the long table near the front windows of this charming little place. So waving we head out. Me back to work and him back to sleep, poor baby. When bam, it happened. As soon as we step out from under the overhang, the blizzard swirling around us, I screwed the pooch....... "Wow, it's slippery, hold my " never got to say hand, cause I went down an inch from The Man in a very ungraceful heap of swirling coat, amazing green purse, black high heels and red hair. It was not pretty. Several people offered help, but since my face was as red as my hair, The Man waved them off, promptly picked me up and made sure I made it safely to my car, with a death grip on me.

Several hot arse baths, a heating pad and some meds left from my last dental dance, and I'm not feeling it quite as bad. Although my back is sore.

Do you ever wonder what people think when they look at you? Do you ever wonder what your spouse or co-worker really thinks of you?

I don't. I really don't care to know. Cause I'm a classy, graceful Southern lady damnit......whose gonna go crank up her heating pad.

You're Doing It Wrong

This morning was a first. We all left the house early. 99% of the time we are out of there on time by the skin of our teeth, as I have two girls who are last minute everything, plus I can't get dressed until after I feed them, otherwise I end up wearing nice work clothes with grape jelly or egg stains. So for us to actually leave the house 20 minutes early was one for the books.

Being the amazing mother that I am, I thought I would take Princess to school since her campus opens at about the same time her bus would normally pick her up. So off we go. We get there and there are 3 cars in the parking lot up front. Now since this school houses over 1000 kids, I would think that it would at least have a few more people at work this close to bell time. Nope, no duty teacher on duty out front either, to shuffle the kids into the gym out of the cold. So we parked in the approved "Parent drop off circle" as opposed to the right in front of the door "bus only drop off circle" and waited for signs of life before I actually left my Princess there. Three SUV's full of kids were dropped off yet I patiently waited to see if someone was going to come out and be in charge. A bus finally came and dropped off kids that scattered like leaves on a windy fall day, every direction. Some to the playground, some to the main office, some to the gym. Geez, this isn't very organized. Finally I see a teacher drag herself out of a car, holding a cup and three bags and slowly make her way to the front of the school. Where she dropped all her bags, and sat down like she was exhausted clutching her cup. 10 bucks says there was booze in the cup!

So Duchess and I kiss Princess bye and she opens the door to head out, when a car comes flying in the bus circle. It opens up and five look-a-like kids pop out, all different heights and sizes but all towheads. (Not sure how that many kids ended up fitting in a 2 door civic but oh well) when my kid turns to me with a look of horror and yells, "They're doing it wrong"

Yeah I loved that show too honey, but people are stupid and really there are no signs so it can't be enforced. Oh no, cause there goes the exhausted duty teacher yelling the same thing. Oh and the office lady has come out from her perch to yell too. The poor frazzled mom of the five kids in a civic just ignored them and bundled her little ones off with a kiss. Meanwhile, the line of buses piled up behind her was impressive. In four seconds flat, eight buses had shown up and couldn't drop off on schedule. SO the busdrivers were getting in on the yelling.

Princess is inside at this point, but I was rubbernecking like it was a 4 car pileup. I have never seen burb life this close, and I was wondering, does it bite? Finally the poor mother dragged herself back into the car and was slowly pulling out as eight buses jammed into place quick as ............well you know.

I bet she went home and had some of what the duty teacher was drinking......

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

PS: Stop the Snow....

Back to normal, knock on wood, everyone is healthy. We're happy and moving right along. Oh and it's STILL snowing. I keep wondering what I'll do when I have my very own house and to worry about things like driveways, sidewalks and yards. Oh wait, I have a driveway and a sidewalk......and a special studly man to keep them clear.
Okay I'm so lying cause we actually bet on everything now so that the loser has to shovel. (He lost the bet on how much the groceries would total at the checkout register.....I said 180 and he went 160 so I was a shoo-in.....) So here he is shoveling, the reason I've been slack on my blogging is that all the other days, I'm the one out there shoveling. I am thinking of saving my birthday money for a snowblower.
Although look at what a good job he goes. Maybe I don't need to waste my money...... Seriously, everyone keeps telling us that this is the worst winter they can remember but I'm constantly surprised at how surprised that they are by this. Hello, it's the mountains, and we're high up and it's kinda the boonies.......get a grip, it's gonna snow.

So here are some observations about a shit load of snow, just in case you've had the pleasure of living in Florida for your whole life, or San Diego, in which case, I hate you cause I miss San Diego badly. Anyway, here are some facts that could save your life, or the life of your car.....
1. Snow turns to ice when it's cold enough, which is slicker than snot. DO NOT SPEED
2. In the event of a snow storm, put on your lights.....don't be that guy
3. If you are that guy, don't be surprised by the number of people yelling out their windows at you when they pass
4. In the event of a white-out, pull over somewhere safe, smoke your ciggies, leave your car running and stay warm. Call everyone you know on your cell so they'll keep you company.
5. Always have an extra pack in the carand a 12 pack of Dr. Peppers in the trunk , in case of white-outs
6. If it's Sunday, forget driving unless you own a 4x4......seriously the snow plow drivers are at church all day and the roads, well good luck if you can find the road.
7. Save all of your summer pool toys, they make great snow toys. Especially the tubes.
8. When the sun comes out, the temp rises to 20 degrees and the roads heat up, you have what is regionally known as soup. It's slicky, mushy and it's harder to drive on than ice. Scootch along.
9. Brake early.....real early.....before you can see your turn, break.....

Notice that this mound is taller than the truck next to it? This is over by my mom's house. She lives closer to the big mountain than I do. Lucky ducky got about 8 more inches than we did.