P: You're almost four, sit down. I'm teaching you to tie your own shoes.
P: Now you stuff the sock in there and squish it on, no, stop moving. Like this. See.
D: No, your hand is in my way!
P: Here, watch, like this, make a bunny, loop the other one around the bunny's neck (can you tell that The Man taught her to tie her shoes?) and then pull tight.
D: Where's the bunny?
P: No, not a bunny, like this, watch... If you do it right, you're shoelaces will NEVER come undone. Mine stay like this all day, cause I'm big.
D: But (name).....But
P: No, listen, like this, watch the loop...
P: No, you have to watch, your not watching....
D: Your shoelace is undone.
P: (looks down at undone shoelace on foot) Well crap!
I think it's official. The correct children came home from the hospital with us. No baby switchs here.