Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!

Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!


Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this us....


This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public


My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Way down South...

Well I'm writing to you from the dining room of an RV parked smack in the middle of Eastern Texas. An opportunity presented itself so I made hay and flew in last night at midnight, found my sleepy husband in the airport and we drove two plus hours to get to home-sweet-RV. I'm having the time of my life.

First off, I must say, his schedule and lifestyle are much more bleck than I had it pictured in my head. Gonna give that poor bastard a backrub tonight, cause momma is feeling bad for him. But I'm working to sweeten his life up anyway I can. (Although I must say, his job and RV are such a blessing as well as his brother, it's so awesome and rare that they get time together as adults. I hope the girls can have that kind of relationship when they are grown. The two of them crack me up, boys will be boys)

So after 3 hours of sleep, I got up and took him into work so I could keep his jeep. Man oh man, I'm not a fan of buttcrack dawn but okay....I'm game. So I scrubbed the sleepy out of my eyes, wrote down directions as he drove and waved goodbye to him.

Then promptly got lost.

This wouldn't have been so bad, if I hadn't been in my Disney pjs. The "Grumpy" disney pjs that are like three sizes too big. No makeup, check. No bra, check. My only redeeming feature, I had shoes on. And the nice lady at the Texaco, turned me around and got me back on track, and with a Big Gulp Dr. Pepper too. Yes!

Sadly there was no going back to sleep, so I gathered his laundry and took a shower. Thus promptly clogging his shower drain, but since I don't speak RV, I got the RV owner of place we park, hooking me up. Adding a Y thingy so we can drain all sewers at the same time......duh? Am I the only one who thinks that is a no brainer. And since it's sewer and old guys love me, guess who ain't touching it......

Yep, got it, me.........I'm "helping", pictures to come. Brace yourself.

Then I made a list and hit Walmart cause my man has nothing. New trailer, yes....but no excuse for me treating him like this. He now has the following:

dryer sheets
crock pot (with a yummy dinner already cooking)
pots and pans
a oven baking dish
a microwave baking dish (for the best baked potatoes on earth)
oven mitts
a cutting board
spoons, forks (damn forgot a knife)
Tupperware for lunches
measuring cup
cooking utensils
Groceries - the guy has apparently been eating the same damn breakfast, lunch and dinner for a week, I love this man.......
an airfreshner
pillows (last night he tried to give me his pillow, sad)

All of this was accomplished by a very generous envelope from my mother and my debit card. The funny part, the grand total was split right down the middle.......

Mom, I can't count the ways I love you. He's going to be so surprised!!!

Next up is scrubbing his shower and doing some laundry....but since I'm running on three hours sleep, think I'm gonna take a little nappy first.

Pictures to come peeps, cause I'm a fool for trees and fresh air and people and tractors and grain silos and train tracks and well you get the picture.......

Hope4Grace reporting from Texas: where I'm trying to bring a little home to my guy

Friday, August 21, 2009


This past week we finally did it, we got Dave his very own place to live. Since he's in the oil field business and travels for his job, well we got the very best permanent solution we could think of, an RV.

The past six months have found him working in the deep south on assignment. And sharing an RV with his brother and uncle on the same job site........nepotism anyone? But Dave is a big guy and sleeping quarters were very small. So we've been working it upgrade him some. Plus it'll give me and the kids a place to stay when/if we can visit.

So he went shopping. And the Lord blessed us oh yeah he did. We were able to get him his own 33 ft RV paid in cash peeps. This is a big deal for us, we're trying to be cash people but trying is the word in this economy. But with the Lord's help, we did it!

Our new second home, a big arse travel trailer..........cause we're official rednecks now. I'm getting a bumper sticker that says that too, real soon.

So we've gotten it parked, it was baptised by a tornado in the area the first full day he moved in so I'm pretty sure we're good to go. So besides being able to talk more, last night we pulled the trigger.....

We set up skype. Our goal is for the kids to have at least 30 minutes a night of Daddy face time. But it was hysterical trying to get it all set up. Next time I need to do my hair and put on makeup geez......

But it's nice to see that we're both making an effort to keep our family running smooth, even with 5 states between us.......

Monday, August 17, 2009

Oh My Duchess

Just yesterday you were tiny, 7 lbs and 7 oz with a full headfull of jet black hair and rosy fat cheeks......
And now, you steal my breath away.
And you're 6.5 years old starting First Grade this week.
You know a secret kid, mommy doesn't spend one second worrying about you finding your way. You are the kid that makes her own way, other people be damned.
Rock on kiddo

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Your Guess?

My day had all the following:

-hysterical kids
-Elvis memorial celebration on my porch
-cleaning the garage
-working on purchasing an RV for Dave
-wood removal
-grounded kids
-a gun
-a hacket
-a shovel
-a black 30 gallon trash bag
-a body

Wanta guess what we did today?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

My How They Grow:

I'll be sprinkling the blog with recent pics I took of the just flabbers my ghast how they have grown so big so fast........ and their personalities are just over the top, like their momma and daddy!

So even though they drive me crazy, they are mine and I'm so very very blessed.


I miss lovey-dovey stuff. You don't get those little things everyday when you live in separate states. That sucks. Little pats, hugs, kisses on your hair, nuzzles, new shoes (oh wait, got those today myself).

And watching Titanic on tv while cooking dinner and sobbing into the coleslaw as I stir is just pitiful.


Friday, August 14, 2009


The girl has gone back to karate. After taking the summer of for various reasons, she is back in the gei (is that how you spell it?). And she's intense, loud and adorable. I just love watching her practice in my backyard, while sitting on my arse on the porch.....drinking iced tea with my feet up.
And I remind her to grunt and yell at the end, cause I'm all about loud!

But man oh man, I just love watching her go. Next month she has her yearly karate tourney and is signed up for her forms. Let's see how she does peeps.......last year was fun and educational but it'd be cool for her to gain some extra confidence in her karate this year.
Fun times!
And cheers from my porch!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

On Loop

I can't get this song out of my head.......sigh.

Funny, when I dance to it around the house, I don't look like she does, that sucks.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Shot Who?

I had the bestest job in the world while on our last duty station in San Diego. I worked for the Department of the Navy in a very cool department that did very cool classified stuff. Meaning that I worked with some of the coolest people on earth. It's true that some of the most brilliant minds work for the government.

It's also very true that real geniuses (not me) are abnormal people. There were 90-ish peeps in this department which was the largest maze of cubies you can ever was fun. Work but work....

When you work with such a large number of people in direct contact, you are bound to have your share of interesting cases......and since I no longer work there, it's with found memories that I think of them.

My boss was probably the most outgoing person on earth. In charge of the motley crew, his door was always open. He proctored all my college tests for me, while eating donuts and drinking coffee and occasionally throwing out a math answer, cause he couldn't help himself. He gave me alot of leeway with my kids as I was a "perpetual deployment wife". He let me get involved with any project that caught my eye and whenever I said there was a problem, he fixed it cause I said it was a problem. And no matter where he was hiding or from who, he always answered my calls, even if he had to whisper.

However, if there was one thing that I loved most about that boss, it was his response to anything he didn't like.......screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Shot who?"

Military folks, they crack me up.

So when one of our coworkers became a devout budda follower and stocked his cubie with temples and candles and started chanting during the work was "Shot who?"

Whenever another would stand in front of our tiny little community fridge and eat things out of other people's lunches...... "Shot who?"

Whever the Gunny would forget to clean his face camo paint off before storming the office, sidearm in place........ "Shot who?" (I think this was more a question than a statement on this one)

Whenever our peeps "retired in place" sat in their cubies playing solitare awaiting retirement instead of working........ "Shot who?"

Whenever he'd need something and have to walk 1/2 mile out back by the towers to the pitiful smoker's alley looking for me, he'd simply stand in the doorway and scream "Shot who?" and when everyone else scattered and I simply stood up, he'd storm my way telling on someone else.

But I count him as the bestest of a line of awesome bosses cause honestly I'm pickey about who I'll work for.

The same boss who when I went and sat crying in his office cause I was moving to Salt Lake City and giving my notice, stood up and yelled in my face "Shot who?" then yelled at me some more that he'd give us the apartment over his garage if we'd stay and Dave found a local job.

I tell you that to tell you this.........when I got so frustrated at someone today that the only words I could even think of to let fly were "Shot Who?" .... instead of flying off in a tempered rage and verbally slashing someone, I had to sit down cause I was laughing so hard I cried.

It's times like this that I have to remember that even though I am not a fan of people. Even though I get so irrated at people's work ethics and the Utah persistance of "I'm right and your not, and I don't care why"........

Even though I have a gun in my car.......

I got "Shot who?".

Thanks for making me smile today sir, I hope your still causing trouble, hiding from people, eating donuts and way too much coffee..... cause frankly, I wanta be you when I grow up.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

I hate lessons.......

Once again I'm bearing sad happy arse got schooled yesterday. It really does humble a girl when the Lord hands out lessons when you least expect it. I've had a very long very busy week. More medical stuff (which one day I'll expel all over you Internet and share my joys there) but I digress..., work is swamped as well as preparing for a new office, we move next week, kids are prepping for back to school, my kids' $250 phone bill (don't ask) and Dave is hunting for the perfect travel trailer to live in (don't ask).

But in addition to everything I have going on I get a reminder of my nifty little work crackberry that I had a class on Friday. So I got up early, drove all the way downtown (long way) to my class. Where I fell asleep twice before 10:30. And spent most of my day doodling....cause it was very obvious that all my government training had already "certified" me as not only crazy but a Microsoft Expert. Duh..... but this class was suppose to be an Excel expert level class and since I had recently run across three different things I couldn't do, I signed up when work gently forced us to take some classes cause review time is coming..... ;)

It was at lunch time that the said lesson hit me between the eyes.

You see, I'm very very rarely alone. Even though I have spent most of my marriage with my husband either deployed or working in other areas, I do have two children. And on lunch I usually hook up with my cohort, I mean coworker to get into mischief. So since I hadn't spoke to anyone in my class, cause frankly I don't like people, I found myself alone for lunch. Strange.

So I jumped in my car, cranked the stereo to my favorite "not kid appropriate" CD and got busy, jamming and driving looking for food. About three blocks from the tech center I found myself in the middle of ........ well ....... hell. It looked like a battleground from a futuristic post-apocalyptic sci-fi. It was really really sad, and a little scary. So I'm driving around and find myself turning the radio down and checking to make sure my gun was close by.

But hey, everyone can recognize Taco Hell, so I whipped in to grab a corn taco, yum. But as I'm standing in line, I started looking around. And then stuck my hand in my pocket, the hand with the rings from Dave, and the really nice watch from Dave (dudes I don't buy my jewelry su'okay). Then I pulled my hair over my pearls and starred at the floor while waiting my turn.

See here's the thing..... I have a tendency to get wrapped up in my life, my own head. Mainly because I don't like people. But also because I tend to juggle so many things that I get tunnel vision.

Except, it was impossible not to look outside my own head while standing in the middle of that Taco Hell in one of the worst parts of Salt Lake City. All around me were examples of why I am blessed beyond my highest expectations. This place was packed and I stood out. Which bothered me because peeps I'm not living an extravagant life at all. But as I shuffled along waiting my turn at the counter, I must tell you, I couldn't help but think about the people around me. If appearances and facial expressions mean anything, then I was one rich b*tch. Again, which I am far from. So I paid for my lunch and ate in my car in the parking lot.

I drove back to the office in quiet, no stereo needed as I couldn't have heard it over my thoughts. My prayers of thanks. My life is far far far from any level of perfection but I'm so very blessed. My kids have clean clothes, clean faces, healthy smiles and sleep under a solid safe roof in a nice neighborhood. It was a poignent moment.

But I perserve.....

I totally tried not to correct and prompt the teacher the rest of my class.......but honestly by the time we got to the class segment about how to add graphics to your Excel spread..... cause I'm sorry but you ain't doing any real work if you're adding clipart and word art to your spreads peeps

I created this, and since I was on the front row and everyone behind me in the six slightly elevated rows could see my screen, the instructor thought it would be cute to go ahead and sign my certificate and let me leave early.

Sometimes it does truly rock to be more ways than one.

Count your blessings peep.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Updates galore.....

Back in the saddle finally...we've had a seriously busy weird summer so far but honestly, if I can just get my feet back on the ground, I'll be good to go. And no, we didn't win the lottery, dang it.

School starts in two weeks and I feel like my kids have had the worst summer ever. Last summer they had dad half a week thanks to his work schedule, this summer they got him 2 days a month. Couple that with the daycare changing hands and all that drama........thank goodness for dad. Dad has stepped in to wrangle kids for the rest of the summer. Making my vows now that next summer will rock for those two kids!

While it is my utter most heartfelt desire, it doesn't appear that I'll be leaving Utah anytime soon. Work is work and I'm still employed (surprised?) with a move to a new office looming in the next week. Can I just say that it will rock!!!! My office is in the very very far wing from anyone else I'd rather not see at all. This will be pretty sweet for me.

I'm still 50% of a marriage too. Dave is doing well in Texas, looking to purchase his own travel trailer now (and of course a truck) so he can move over to traveling jobs. Fun!!

Princess has completely healed from her surgery. She's talking back and sassy as the day is long. Yep, she's healed! Although I must say, this summer has seen big changes in this kid. Gone are the verbal outbursts, nonstop talking, and whining. The kid has really matured lately. She's thinking before she speaks, if she's mad she has the decency to slam a door rather than whine for hours (I respect the hell out of that), her room is clean without prompting and she is the most responsible dog owner I've ever seen. Frankly, besides loving her to pieces cause she's my kiddo, I find myself really "liking" her, liking who she's becoming. Gradual but noticable deal. So it should be no surprise that we're back in karate. I really had to process all of this before I could commit to karate again, that four days a week schedule screws up my evening schedule so bad. But you know, it's worth it. (yet another reason I smoke, cause life isn't fair damnit)

Duchess is .... well to put it nicely..... a freaking handful. This kid has taken the complete opposite route than her sister. She talks nonstop, she interrupts constantly, she whines (OMGAWD does she whine!!!!!!!!!!!) She has oblivious down pat. I can talk myself breathless giving her instructions just to turn and find her gone. She'll just tune me out and walk off. So yeah, I can't wait for school to start, I think she needs the constant interactions with cooler people than me, i.e. other first graders. This is the point where I've had to sit myself down and have a smoke and a smile while lecturing that "every child goes through this, you didn't kill the oldest, you won't kill this one".....I'm channeling Bill Cosby, although I have been legs. While that is said though, she is still as sweet as ever, which makes disciplining her very hard. Princess has always had a limit on sweetness (like her momma) but Duchess is naturally very sweet.

For example, last night she crawls into my bed, steals MY pillow and wants me to read to her......while I'm trying to go to sleep, after I'd put her to bed in HER bed 30 minutes before. Finally I cave and quickly read "strawberry shortcake and the sleepover" to her. Afterwards, I turn the light off, no longer caring that she was apparently sleeping in my bed for the night. Cause she wanted to have a sleepover in mommy's room.....When I'm almost completely asleep she leans over and kisses my cheek and whispers "Berry Night Mommy" in my ear........its really hard to be mad at that. Even at 11 p.m.

And because I love you internet, I'm going to NOT post pictures of my stomach. Cause frankly it makes me throw up in my mouth a little everytime I see it. I caught a line=drive softball in the stomach this weekend. So my "on lunch quick dr visit to make sure it's normal to swell like this" visit yesterday turned into 3.5 hours once I'd gone from the dr to the hospital for the CT scans and such. And frankly, that was a very very strange experience...... (remember, I'm in UTAH here peeps and have been stuck here for 2.5-ish years) while drinking my contrast drink, the really really nice male nurse kept laughing at the faces I couldn't help but make......then told me that he was sorry that he couldn't add vodka to it......shocker #1.....then during the IV, he actually listened when I told him exactly what vein wouldn't blow, easy cheesy for once..... shocker #2 ........and during the actual scan, when he came back in and casually had a conversation with me about my underwires (please move them as they are showing up) and how there was this new bra on the market with plastic underwires that was just the bomb.... he highly recommended it. Frankly, I could have put him in my purse and taken him home. I bet he'd have completely redecorated my house and helped me get the kids school clothes bought without blinking an eye (with the longest fake lashes I've seen since leaving Diego peeps). Frankly going for a CT scan should not be that entertaining!!!

And now I'd better get some work done, be back later..........I got pics peeps.