My body clock still wakes me up at two every night in anticipation of your drunk dials.
I cried so much when you left, it traumatized the cat.
The second I saw you, I decided we were getting married. I was 11. Years later, I’m still in love with you, and you’re in prison
After three years of searching, I finally found someone exactly like you. She doesn’t love me either.
Sorry I was so distant the last two years of our relationship. I was trying to figure a way out
If he had been you, I would have straddled him on the counter and made quick, sweaty work of things. Since he was him, I kissed him twice and headed home
We laughed together, naked and smug, over your friend’s record-breaking sexual dry spell. I never guessed you’d be the one who finally brought him the watering can.
Happy birthday. Also, screw you. Also, call me. Please?
You were not the last man to have a problem with the fact that I don’t sound “enthusiastic” when I answer the phone
Dear Old Love.Com