Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!



Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!

Superheroes

Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this shot...so us....

Duchess

This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public

Princess

My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Air is Fresher Here

I forgot how much I love the lake. It's so relaxing here, no shopping, no rushing around, no eatting out, no bs. It's very laidback and lowkey. I haven't seen the kids or Dave frown for days now. We made a trip into Jay today to hit the Walmart (thanks mom for the walmart atlas, it was perfect) and got a few things for our trip to Texas, mainly me a real work coat. Thick, warm and bought in a small from the men's department I fit right in with everyone else plus I'm warm. Matches my boots, hot stuff baby.


This morning I slept in and then started my day properly by falling down the stairs. Other than a slight limp my right leg will eventually get better, I'm a complete dork. Dave moves fast, but other than grab me and carry me down the rest of the stairs, he didn't even stop in his telling of a story to his dad. I guess he's used to me by now.

Dave also managed to scare the living crap out of me this morning. I should have seen this one coming. Down from the lake house is the bigest blind dip I've ever seen in a highway. You don't see it coming, there is no sign, but once you go over the lip, it's straight down and then a small dip and straight up. Of course I was talking with my hands and laughing and the evil clown didn't say a word, just floored the truck and grinned as he went flying over the lip. I haven't screamed that loud and long in quite some time. Then we agreed to bring our kids back for that ride after lunch. I'll be watching for it and holding onto the "oh shit bar".

My girls were so awesome visiting everyone yesterday but the highlite was the Uncle Jose visit to the firestation. Dave took the new chief hunting when he was in Texas so the chief showed up to see us too, that was fun. It was a great 3 hour visit capped off with all of us (me riding shotgun) riding the firetruck around the block with the sirens blaring and the radio headsets crackling. I took lots of pics and we asked alot of questions. The kids really made me proud by asking alot of science related questions.

Tomorrow we leave for OKC to visit more family and catch up with a girlfriend I haven't seen in years. Looking forward to it. Saturday will see us up early and heading to Beaumont, Texas to move into our new "house".

Have I mentioned that our new "house" is a 30 ft pull trailer that will follow Dave from job to job for the next year?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Day One of the Rest of My Life

Today was a really good day (Only a little bitter sweet cause I wasn't able to share it with my mom and dad). Three spare bedrooms, spread out in the house, so the girls ended up on the other side from us, this didn't last so Dave wound up snuggling with Duchess and fell asleep. I just went to bed alone and slept like a rock until Murphy woke me up by bouncing on my head, guess he needed to really go out at 8 something in the morning. Sigh.

This area recently had alot of snow which is unusual for this time of year. So man oh man, we were house bound for awhile today and it was great. A nice treat after the past two days of road rush.

I helped my MIL with her website design and then Dave and I hit the tiny local lake grocery store and surprise, they had a lot of gluten free food. Fun times. I get to eat while we're here. Spaghetti with salad for dinner and those new betty crocker gluten free cookies for dessert. I'm so freaking full, bedtime is not far off.

Dave and I also made a quick run to the town and it was crazy to realize that 13 years later we were cruising the same streets as when we started dating and became a "we".

Tomorrow is a good adventure. Not only do we get to go and see family and friends we haven't seen in years, we are taking the kids on a "mommy/daddy" memory trip. We're showing them where we lived and where we met and etc. They are so excited. And frankly, so am I.......

Roadtrip

Well no internet at the hotel making a 1350 mile trip in less than 2 days make for a busy schedule. We have landed in Oklahoma as of 1-ish last night. Exhausted isn't quite the word, but it's close.

We left SLC area around 4 pm on Sunday afternoon headed for a family visit in Oklahoma with the inlaws before moving on to Beaumont/Houston area. Bless his heart, Dave drove with both kids and the dog while I followed in my car which was packed to the roof around me. Lucky for him, the kids had so many electronics and the dog was just happy to be included that everyone were angels for the trip. I got alot of peace and quiet, it was great.

It took us three hours to hit Moab where it was a striking -4 degrees. I have never been so freaking cold in my life. This is also where the kids managed to slam the tip of my finger in the car door, causing the cuticle to bust and pour blood, it wasn't pretty. Dave found me some $8 bandaids (thanks stop and rob store) and I managed not to throw up on myself. I'm getting better!

And then pushed on through the night until we hit I-40 in Gallup NM. The hotel was crap but it was warm and accepted Murphy so I can't really complain!

Yesterday saw us make it almost all the way to the Missouri line before we got to my inlaws. Not a bad trip at all. Lots of quick stops, lots of cigs and music on my end.

All in all, I'm thrilled to be out of my car. We're resting today and will post some pics of the trip this afternoon.

Hugs and kisses,
Hope4Grace aka Road Warrior

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Three, Two..........One....

Today is D day. The house was emptied yesterday, alot of which we blessed to our friends, the really good stuff in storage and alot to the dump. Now it's just the final purge, just Dave and me before we pick up girls from my mom and hit the road.

Couldn't have done this without the help of some AMAZING friends. Three guys, three trucks, a moving van and my mom and brother. Once again, you slay me with your generous natures. I aim to be as much of a blessing to others.

But for now, I am attempting to get my fingers working in this 11 degree ice prision and get my butt in gear. We hope to make ABQ tonight. By this time next week we'll be settling into our new "home" in Texas.

Hopefully pics to come....of trip.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Ho Ho Ho

He's home. This morning, we watched him deplane and come down those airport stairs for hopefully the last time. He's here to take over and take me to Texas.

He also brought me a gift. It's very rare that I get surprised with a present. I had no clue this time. I got an ebook reader and permission to fill it with as many books as I want to buy. This will keep our small traveling space clear of bulky books and let me indulge in my book obession. I'm a book slut peeps.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.........

With much love,
The Hope4Grace Family

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Step Five

Admit that you're falling way behind in schedule and am anxiously waiting for husband to land tomorrow morning so he can take control. I do so love the control thing the military breeds into a guy. I have complete faith that he'll totally take over and make my life so much easier....cause that is what 12 years of marriage has produced. He backs me up when my mouth writes checks my arse can't cash. I adore that man.

Anywho, since the warranty peeps needed two full weeks to get my radio replaced, looks like I'm going on a long roadtrip without a radio/cd player/surround bose sound/tape player (yeah, I actually still have tapes, classics!). So I loaded up my ipod with some serious road jams and I'm working out the playlists now. Cause everyone has a hobby, and playlists seem to be mine.

Soooooooo as you ascertained already, I'm not packed. I'm not ready for this move. I'm exhausted and I'm waiting on my hero to show up and save the day. What a liberated woman I am. :)

Oh and can I say how absolutely awesome it is not to have a job........for the first time since high school, it is amazing not to have to juggle everything at once.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Urgh

Snow storm time...yuck.

And after driving through it with my ever helpful bro, just to creep home. The freaking storm subsides and it's just cute little flurries. But it's coming back tonight.

I'm going to cook, clean and maybe pack.

I'm not leaving this house.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Aint Gonna Miss This




Thanks a million to my momma and my girls, I'd already plowed twice this day and they lovingly shoveled the end of my driveway.
I'm not gonna miss snow.
I miss humidity and heat.


Blessings oh blessings

I have to completely believe that we are on the right path. When you walk on faith, doors open so smoothly and the blessings flow. Which is sooooo different from trying to force something to happen.

Today, I rented out my house. There are no words.

I'm celebrating my actually cooking dinner.

Dave washed our new house and has been getting everything set up and ready to go. He'll be here in 2 days, and won't be leaving us again. We're going with him. There are no words that can express how excited my kids are about that fact. They need their daddy. And I'm blessed that they have such a great daddy.

I'm still not sure if we'll fit everything into our storage unit, I'm not the weather will be pleasant for a cross country trip, and I'm not sure I'll be able to leave my mom without a full crying hysterical breakdown (on my end) but I do knwo this.....

I'm so very blessed.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Oh I love school

I have a professor who repeatedly has spelling errors in his critiques.

I have a professor who misspelled his own name in a posting.

I have a professor who has posted wrong information in regards to test answers.

I have a professor who hates my guts because when my grade was wrong due to those wrong answers, I emailed him proof and requested that he correct my grade.

I have the same professor who tells me that I'm "Surprisingly well written" after grading my papers.

I seriously am flabbergasted! And really offended. I hope they offer professor reviews for this class.

A well deserved break

I took this afternoon off, spent it helping my mom make the major gumbo......

What a blessing she has been to me.

I love you mom, I'm not leaving you....I'll always be there in phone calls everyday, facebook stalking and lots of visits.....

I dig you

Saturday, December 19, 2009

really? really?

As I get closer to Christmas it is becoming more and more real to me that this Christmas will be different. It really still seems impossible that I'll be leaving Utah. I can't wrap my head around life outside of this place. It's been three long years and honestly I can't wait.

Even better, Dave will be home for Christmas and then instead of leaving us, he's driving with us back halfway across the country. Beaumont Texas, here we come.

Oh baby, my heart pounds just to write that.

So this Christmas/holiday season truly feels like the best already. I can't wait. Even if I'm not sure all my stuff will fit in the storage unit, I can't wait.

P.S. I'll be blogging and keeping updates as we travel! As usual, it'll be a griswald vacation because we just can't seem to operate any other way. :)

Princess

the results of Princess' karate photo session are in

and this is my fav

she totally didn't get those long legs from me, no wonder she's almost as tall as I am at 10 years old

a little sad though, not sure if she'll have a place to practice karate in Texas, we'll have to see about that

but my baby is so gorgeous here

and red headed, geeezzzz.....guess she did get my hair color

Friday, December 18, 2009

Step Four

More packing....

So tomorrow bright and early I have packers coming, oh so thank you peeps. My goal is to stage all light furniture and boxes in the garage till Dave gets home. Fun times are coming. Today I accomplished nothing, seriously nothing. My stomach decided to revolt (it must dislike Utah too) and I decided that napping and resting was in order. Surprisingly I'm still tired and am ready for bed.

But tomorrow is a special day so it's early up for me.

Tomorrow my baby turns 7. My baby as in the youngest of my litter. My baby as in my precious little Duchess. Who is so freaking excited. So we're taking her out to lunch, my mom and I (three generations of redneck fun) and she requested a trip to the local rib joint. After we assured her it wasn't unladylike to be smeared with bbq.

I'm looking forward to spoiling my baby tomorrow.

And hopefully getting most of the rest of my house together. Sigh.....

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Well...dang

I actually cooked tonight, a first this week. I've been so overwhelmed trying to get this place packed up and deal with all the hoopla that is involved. I'm exhausted and sore. I'm not lifting (much) but my energy levels are low. Having to moniter my bp again during the day. But there is an end in sight.

Except I packed the kitchen except for pots/pans and it's dang hard to cook the dinner without the extras. Such as measuring cups........shit.

So here we go...

Dave lands in one week. Oh thank you Jesus.

Opps

So kids are in school, I'm unemployed and packing my house.

GAC is blaring and I'm dancing around in my underwear....

And the UPS man knocks on the door.

Damn it.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

oh my girlie

So Duchess had her Christmas program tonight. Fantastic....only complaint, the general NOISE produced from over 300 parents of first graders and a million little kids let loose in the gym during the kids performance. Insane people....keep your kids under control.....borrow my spoon, my belt or even my shoe!

Otherwise my baby was great. She's the punk in the pink plaid with the pink hat.......go baby go

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Blessings

When the Lord moves, the Lord moves...

I needed new brakes and roters for my car before traveling it half away across the country. The problem is that Dave has always been my mechanic and I'm spoiled. Big time spoiled. So I started calling around to get quotes as he won't have time to deal with my car issues. Poor me. The problem is that these people have no conscious, at all. Sadly. So finally, I went to a place in my local town and I was flabbergasted.

Once again, the Lord provides. The man looked over my car and then straight into my face said, $180 for all of it. God Bless these mechanics. Not only does my car drive like a dream, my checkbook it happy too. Looking out for me!

So today, my former nanny backed her car up and loaded up a lot of toys, a tv and three bags of kids clothes. Rather than throw anything away, I was able to donate it to their family. I'm already working on the next load. No worries guys, I'm not tossing stuff that can be used by another family! :) I'm passing on the blessings.

Cross your fingers, I'm hoping to have all boxes packed by the end of this coming weekend. And so far I've just managed to make the largest mess in Utah. There is no walking through the house without full lights on! I'm hoping to have some volunteer packers tomorrow, hopefully that blessing will bear fruit.

Now I'm going to dig out my tea bags, I need tea.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Step Three

Errands. They will be the death of me. I keep forgetting how much there is to do before you can actually move.

Today, we rocked.

Mom and I hit the road at 8. Got more boxes and tape. Opened a new bank account. Located and reserved our climate controlled storage space. Hit up the pharmacy for my refills and found out how to transfer them to a nationwide chain. Started packing the kids' rooms. Set aside a ton of stuff to donate and even more to toss. Made list of things to sell.

Dave was just as productive. He rained out after lunch so he joined us in getting it done. He got us an address in Beaumont for our mail. Yeah, been six years since I've been a postal box girl but okay. Then he found us a new place to live. A really nice place from the sounds of it, can't wait to see pics and we can have Murphy with us. Yeah! Now he is looking at larger trailers so the kids can have a space of their own while on the road.

How much fun is this?

Exhausting but fun......

8 days till my guy gets home.

(Man do I have a super massive amount of work for him)

Tomorrow is gonna be another crazy day.......need brakes and roters done before road trip. Off to get quotes.

Step Two

Prep kids......and have them memorize the following:


I wish I was in the land of cotton,
old times there are not forgotten,
Look away, look away, look away, Dixie land.
In Dixie land where I was born in, early on a frosty mornin',
Look away, look away, look away, Dixie land.
Chorus:
Then I wish I was in Dixie, hooray! Hooray!
In Dixie land I'll take my stand, to live and die in Dixie,
Away, away, away down south in Dixie,
Away, away, away down south in Dixie.

Old Missus marry Will de Weaber, Will-yum was a gay deceaber,
Look away, look away, look away, Dixie land.
But when he put his arm around her,
smiled as fierce as a forty pounder.
Look away, look away, look away, Dixie land. (Chorus)

Dars buckwheat cakes an' ingen batter, makes you fat or a little fatter,
Look away, look away, look away, Dixie land.
Den hoe it down and scratch your grabble to Dixie's land
I'm bound to travel,
Look away, look away, look away Dixie land. (Chorus)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Step One

Step one is now in progress. I'm making lists and starting piles of things to take with us. It's not going to be much. The rest is being readied for packing. Going into storage.

Hopefully if all goes to plan, the kids and I will be TEXAS by New Years.

This will make sure that I have a very good start to a new year.

I can't even begin to start to tell you what this feels like. My stress levels are so freaking low. Still needing my meds for sleeping and such but hopefully that will change soon. I've never felt so very blessed.

I have learned so much from my lessons here in Utah, lessons that the Lord patiently taught me. I will carry those with me forever. That said, I will strive to NEVER put myself in a position where I put money first, where I am tempted by the lure of money. Utah has been such a learning experience for us. We came here following the highest bidder for work, and we have been miserable. This place is sooooooooo not us.

But now, my focus has narrowed and become very clear.

We're going home peeps.

And if that is surprising, well stick around cause it's gonna get more shocking as things fall into place.

So I'm gonna go finish packing up my work clothes and shoes. I can happily wear my jeans, boots and hoodies everyday now.

Life is really really good here. And for the first time in a long time, I can breathe so easily.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Tis the season

I got laid off last Thursday.

24 hours later, I hit my knees thanking God for his blessings. He knows what we need and his path clears the doubts.

Peeps, prepare yourselves.

I'm leaving Utah.

Join me in a happy dance.

Heading out to use my snow blower since we got another 5 inches last night. Strangely, I don't mind at all, the snow is temporary. :)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Oh my

Our evening took quite the turn tonight. Rarely do I get the chance to really sit and talk about big important events with my kids one on one. Tonight I got that chance.

Princess came home from school with some facts about Pearl Harbor. All said with a smile and I had to stop her and explain why mommy was tearing up.

Pearl Harbor hurts my heart.

No matter what I accomplish in this life, one of my most important accomplishments is the fact that for ten years, I was a military wife. No I didn't actually serve. But in a sense I did.

I was there the day he left for bootcamp, I can still remember the hug of steel and the desperate kiss as he struggled to be nonchalant and sober. The look in his eyes was apprehensive and proud. It was that day that he developed a habit that he never changed......he walked away to the military without looking back. (Never in 10 years of deployments and underways has he ever looked back on the walk down the pier, focus ahead.....that is his way, it took me a long time to understand that was his way to actually leaving even when he didn't want to.)

I was there the day he graduated bootcamp. So shiney, so strong, so tall. He stood out among his classmates. He was older than 99% of them, military bearing was so natural to him. I was so proud that day, there really are no words. I'll never forget how he found me in the crowd afterward they released everyone and the place became an instant crush. He'd let some of his fellow sailors smell my perfume (from my letters, how very old fashioned of me....we still have all of those too) and it was a tall, lanky kid who grabbed my hand, sniffed my neck and yelled that he'd found me.

Two weeks later, we married on Dec 22, 1997 because we didn't want to be apart. So I went with him to his schooling and then onto his first ship assignment....

I was there for every assignment. I was there when he called to tell me he'd been burned. I was there when he called to tell me about a close call with a flooding chamber. I was there in every email, phone call and letter.

I have prayed more for that man than anything else in my life.

The military is something very near and dear to me. So I sat Princess down and explained Pearl Harbor. She's almost 11. It's was time. As the magnitude set in, I reminded her that the military is the very backbone of our freedoms. I explained that as a future woman, why she was blessed to live in America. And when she didn't grasp that, I explained the rights of women in some other countries. I pointed out the differences.

Then she dropped the bomb.

She's really been thinking of joining the military when she is older.

I explained that I would be proud of that. I also explained that after COLLEGE that would be an option. Because education = choices. I also explained that while I would support whatever she wanted to do, her daddy might be a problem. He will always see her as the blond toddler following him around....and that man is against anything dangerous for his kids.

But he surprised me tonight. He had an intelligent, supportive conversation with her. He didn't exactly embrace the idea but agreed that education = choices and if that was her choice, he'd do whatever to help her get there. Once again, he made me oh so proud.

So for now, she wants to be a Naval Officer. Last month it was a large animal vet. Next month might be an astronaut. But you know what..........at least she is thinking and dreaming and looking forward.

I can't ask for more.

Except maybe that she cleans out from under her bed.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Who Dat?

Way to geaux saints! It's awesome to see my home team kick some butt. First time in franchise history to go this far with no loss. Thank you Drew Brees.

I sure do miss my home state sometimes. The parties being held back home right now are yet another reason!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

I Deserve A Cookie

Today was busy. Not only did we conquer Mount Laundry before noon. Me sorting, them stuffing and switching loads and dragging up the stairs and me folding, them putting away. We team work like crazy here now. We also cleaned out all five (yes FIVE) junk drawers and then under the sink. Poor Maddy was dragging trash bags out like crazy. Serious muscles on that kid! We then sorted out all the kids' summer clothes and folded them nicely to be stored away till spring (whenever the hell it shows up here in Utah).

Then it was time to get dressed (sue me if it was more partially dressed) and head out for Princess' karate pictures. Cause we've missed the last two sessions this year, bad mommy. When we got there, I got to catch up with a couple of the other moms I have missed seeing while in my funk. It went great, the kid was amazingly cute.

And when I ran into another person quite unexpectedly, one that I don't really care for, well I deserve a cookie cause I was polite (quite the accomplishment for me these days) then I managed the grocery shopping.

Then I collapsed and took a huge nap. And after a quick dinner, I'm taking a pill and visiting the sandman..........Enter sandman.........I'm done.

Tomorrow I'm not moving from the couch. Scouts honor

Bored = Baking

I love to cook, but occassionally I try new recipes........ and while tasty beyond belief, the petit fors turned out butt ugly, but gluten-free! Yeah! With raspberry layers. Oh my baby.

But my real treat, the homemade southern pralines I made........oh just look at the calories.

Except I let them go a little too long, hence burnt first batch...........GAG
But the second batch.......... = perfection....... took a little longer to harden but oh so worth it.

And since I cook when I'm feeling strange (which is alot lately) I'm making dirty rice today. We'll see what else I whip up while I'm in here.....

Friday, December 4, 2009

Ahhhh

I made it to the weekend. Manage to work three full days, next week I promised myself I would stop counting. Getting back into my schedule. Sore and tired but pills peeps pills.

Also, I love my guy. That rare email made my day, giving me the reminder I need to keep moving forward and towards our common goal. I do so love him and I'm so very blessed that he still thinks I'm a catch.

I'm so blessed, even if my dog did throw up plastic blue crap next to my bed. Sigh

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Baby Steps

I made it through my first day back at work. And came home to promptly collapse and proceed to hold down the couch, cause that bastard keeps trying to run away! You can't get away from me though, so it's still here.

Again my kids bring a tear to my eye......they totally rocked tonight. They got homework done (thank you Nicole), and the house somewhat picked up......yeah.......somewhat, lol. That counts tonight. So if we're low on towels and their rooms are scary........who cares........cause they are cute and sweet and don't complain, they snuggle........on the couch.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Really?

So I had a good visit with my dr. She cracks me up. Seriously, besides the prescription I got for sleep aid, the talk on blood pressure and the okay to return to work....she wrote Dave a prescription too, for Christmas. Wonder if he'll think that is as funny as I do?

So after my visit, I came home and the kids' and I made our plan for the rest of the week. Then I went to wash my hair.....which apparently was a bat signal.......cause Duchess wanted to know why I was getting all fancy? (geez should wash hair more).... seems my afternoon nap buddy is gonna miss her momma. Finally the mom gets some of the love around here.

Big hugs to Dave for the new phone. I now don't have to spend half of our conversations going......"wait, i can't hear you, talk louder"......plus it's really cool.

Here's to hoping I sleep tonight.......got meds, fresh hair and sheets.........surely this is the right combo for sleep......right?

Monday, November 30, 2009

Well....

I got nothing. We put him back on a plane and after dealing with a long day running on 3 hours of sleep, I had a very very sad crying little girl on my hands. And not Duchess who usually falls to pieces when daddy leaves, Princess hit a wall and her dam broke. Oh my poor baby.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

crash and burn

I've hit the wall, woke up today and immediately clear that it's a rough one. I was careful and took the holiday very easy but I'm still down for the count. In fact I'm still wearing the uber comfy pjs that Dave bought me (cause I think he was tired of my other two pairs) and have no intent to change until tomorrow.

The good news is gluten free cupcakes in the ovening. Strawberry icing ready to go on top. Thank you so much Betty Crocker for coming out with 4 gluten free boxed treats! Life is good! The cake is wonderful and we'll see if the cupcakes are too.

Dave has been a huge help this trip. Cleaning the oven, scrubbing tubs and helping with the things I can't do but can't ask anyone else too.......makes it easier on me to be good and not over do it.

Blood pressure was low again today, have my chart ready to go over with my doc on Tuesday. Hopefully will not have to use meds to regulate. An interesting side note, I'm still 17 lbs lighter since surgery. It's weird being 9 lbs away from my wedding dress. I keep thinking it'll all pop back on but so far it's holding. We'll see how that continues.

Hopefully returning to work this week. Will be nice to have something else to focus on rather than my inards. Promising everyone under the sun that I'll pace myself and be careful. I'm very blessed to have my support system.

This has brought about alot of changes for me and in me but one thing is consistant. My friends and family.....the true ones.......I can count on. Period. They go to the mat with me and that is something I'll never forget.

Now back to online shopping for kids' Christmas and birthdays. Crowds scare the ever loving crap out of me these days, bad enough getting run into full in the stomach in Walmart trying to grocery shop, can't image trying to do much actual store shopping.........online all the way baby!

Now I'm going to watch a movie and eat my cupcake. Then it's time to take my bp again.

Hope you had a great great Thanksgiving and are very thankful for the ones in your life. The Lord provides peeps.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Sweet Jesus

I slept 10 hours last night, a first in quite some time. I think it's because Dave was home. I slept solidly and peacefully dead to the world snuggled up next to him. I hope to get a few more nights like that before he flies back to Houston.

I survived Thanksgiving with the help of several cooks and cleaners, but by 10 p.m. was still staring at the wall, drooling. So very thankful for my family, and the opportunity to share this holiday with the ones nearest and dearest to my heart.

This year I'm doing all holiday shopping online. quote me on that will ya.......

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Tag......

Well since it's pretty obvious sleep isn't coming anytime soon, I figured I'd do my part. I got tagged. Here are my fav 5 Hope4Grace posts. Mainly because they are some of my funniest memories......

http://hope4grace.blogspot.com/2009/06/changing-utah-one-kid-at-time.html

http://hope4grace.blogspot.com/2006/12/dreaming-of-taser.html

http://hope4grace.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-am-i-am-i-amreally-i-am.html

http://hope4grace.blogspot.com/2006/11/do-as-i-say.html

http://hope4grace.blogspot.com/2007/03/delicately-put.html

So if you're truly bored........take a peek. Sadly one two in the past two years........ I had to really search for the "after Utah" posts.......

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving Blessing

I'm so lucky to have good friends. While several people have jumped in to help with Thanksgiving cooking, my bestest friend since birth (hi mom) was with me today to precook and prep most of the food. I have two broilers (1 for turkey and 1 for ham) so my oven is free for whenever the girls show up to help cook (no lifting for me). I'm planning on sitting down alot, energy levels are still low. However, huge note today my blood pressure was actually kinda normal.........yeah! I'm keeping an eye on it for now though.

However, in between naps I did turn out the best new recipe I've had in a long time. The kids slurped it up, I was in shock.....

Slice up two zucchini
Slice up two ripe tomatoes
Slice up a slice of onion, pop layers apart

Layer the veggies, sprinkle top with garlic salt and pepper, then drizzle with olive oil.

Repeat veggies, repeat seasonings.

Sprinkle thyme along the top, sprinkle some mozz cheese and toss in a 400 degree oven for 20 minutes.

Yum.........

Sorry no pics, we ate it standing up at the bar.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Damn It

Stomach has revolted. Listening to heavy metal hoping to pass out soon. Watching the Dancing with the Stars finale without sound to the beat of Metallica helps..... need to sleep this off soon. God help me. I hate my stomach, if only we could part ways........

This is what no sleep accomplishes...

when you have time on your hands after midnight, you can get a lot of sorting, scanning done.....

Princess was 3 months old (chubby baby) when we flew home for our first Louisiana visit. Mom finally got to show off her first grandbaby.

So before I had kids, I had curly hair. After kids, not so much so I straightened it alot. For the past year, the curl is coming back. Scary....and yes I'm wearing shorts under that shirt somewhere. Seem to recall I "borrowed" that shirt from somone way taller than me. This is what happens when high schoolers are made to work elementary track events. They show up with really short shorts. Can't for the life of me remember who is in this pic with me.

Junior prom, obviously I was ready but just relaxing. I grew up in a very small town...where we lived on main street but you see the garden behind me........yeah that was ours.....


Howdy sailor.......home for a visit.


Princess was six months and NOT on people food yet when mom came to visit. This is what happens when you go to a rib joint then go to the bathroom. Mom giving Princess her first "taste" of ribs.

8th grade me......I can't believe how much my kids favor the younger me. Surprises me alot.

Dave's first ship. Go Navy. I miss the lifestyle. Much better than being stuck in Utah.


On a long long time ago, Dave's first visit to meet my family in Louisiana. His first visit there period. Where I introduced him to shrimp eatting off a table covered in wax paper and a drive thru liquor store.

Damn honey. I really like this pic.......lol. Memories like this make this whole living apart thing okay sometimes.

Sophomore year in high school.

Dave and my Nanny. No wonder she's always been nuts about him. When she found out I was dating a new guy while living in Tulsa, she and my aunt drove up without telling anyone to "check him out". I love my family.

First week in San Diego, six months preggers with Princess. The world was mine.........what the hell happened? Life seemed so much simpler then. Reality now is not to my liking.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Mercy

Really there is nothing like having a computer on the fritz, and trying to fix it yourself and finding some pics you haven't seen in YEARS.... seriously.....so Lord have mercy on my soul but these gave me the laugh I really needed tonight. more to come tomorrow....

Our first real date: seriously, his grandmother was taking a pic of him and he yanked me into the photo which explains my very strange posture......I look like an alien standing there

So my grandmother used to do glamour shots and makeup, so at 14 (YES! 14!) this was my glamour shot. I checked the dates, I'm positive I was 14.

And this is what happens when I get bored and Dave went on deployment, fire engine red hair with a huge blonde streak and red lipstick. This was me actually just home from my job which required me to represent my attorney at the courthouse when he wasn't able to be there. SOOOOO professional.
Now I've laughed, and it hurt.


Sunday, November 22, 2009

Urgh

Tomorrow's to-do list
  • call doc about not sleeping
  • call stomach doc about stomach

Long long day yesterday that finally ended at 3 am. Sucks. Worse part is that when I'm down, my kids have to be such troopers. No fun for them. They are excited b/c we HAVE to go to Walmart today as we have run out of a few very important things. Poor kids, wally world is the height of their day.

However, yesterday during a not so bad time frame, I sat in a chair in the garage and direct traffic. With Dave being done and only home for short periods of time, the garage has become no man's land. Crap everywhere, tools everywhere, kids bikes, go kart and wagon everywhere. So I sat and direct my little worker bees. After about 10 minutes, they got into the swing of things, singing "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work we go" with some very badly done whistling, they cleaned and gutted that garage with a quickness. Even went to far as to hook up the air compressor and blow it out so they could sweep up all the trash and little debris that gets eveywhere. I can now safely park one of my two vehicles in there. Woohoo.

Then I went and sat in the big leather castoff chair in the basement while they did the same thing down there. Not one word of complaint from those two, probably helped that I "looked" the other way when the were pushing each other around on our dolly. Fun times. But it's all cleaned up and back in normal shape.

Maybe I should reward that on our trip to Walmart, then maybe they'll clean out my vehicles today. I could probably stay on the couch the whole time too........ hmmmm

Excited about Thanksgiving. Dave coming home for a long weekend and the kiddos are out for a five day weekend. Gonna have lots of help to cook Thanksgiving dinner and I'm def thankful for many things this year!

Today is the last day of the autumn semester and I have four essays to write and I'm done. Next classes up in about a week or so. Give me strength to write another two papers on the 18th century. Cause I'm really really tired of history, this was my last one, luckily I have no more math or english anymore either. I'm now a JUNIOR. Yeah baby!

Friday, November 20, 2009

What would you say?

Might not be your cup of tea, but made me cry tonight..... take a sec and watch

Wishing and Hoping

So slept some last night and some today, much better. And started my Christmas list...

Hope4Grace Santa Wish List: edition 1 - 2009
  • black boots
  • new bed

Remember this list, it'll explain things later.....

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Dreaming...

It's what I'm not doing. 5.15 hours of sleep in the past two days. Call into doc to see why I'm exhausted but just can't sleep. It's like I'm walking in a vague fog. Frankly it's not so bad, everything is really vague, lol.

I beat you all. My mom and the kids got together tonight and put up my tree (albetit **yes it's a word, I looked it up, yeah!*** a smaller version, different location this year and couldn't cover up the security system but it's still purty) and wrapped my house in Christmas decorations. Since I'm still on restrictions this way I wouldn't be tempted to drag boxes up from the basement, I love you guys but seriously I am in no way tempted to drag anything. Still waiting for the energy to rise! So it'll be a very merry Thanksgiving.

So took time of my day to call and speak to the principal of my kids' school. Duchess came home from school with lots of homework and let it slip that during a nurse presentation, they were told not to eat bad foods so they wouldn't get chubby like everyone else. This plus her recent checking of calories on apple juice all kinda came to a head.

First off, I'm raising two girls in this insane world. It's bad enough that kids are growing so fast now, but body image just isn't something I'm prepared to work with in my first grader. Luckily the principal agreed with me and tomorrow the first grade will be readdressed regarding the food pyramid without the mention of calories or chubby/fat people. Cause I'm sorry but when your six, you kinda get fixated on certain parts of a sentence........you know that whole attention span thing. For example:

Me: Honey, pick up your shoes...
Duchess:
Me: Did you hear me?
Duchess:
Me: Hey, shoes?
Duchess:
Me: HEY
Duchess: Mommy did you want me?
Me: (bang head on wall)

So the whole part she gets from a presentation of good eating?

Chubby/calories

Sigh......

P.S. need new music, give me some ideas peeps...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Check list

moody?

check

impatient?

check

off pain pills for good?

check

answering my phone?

maybe, depends

grades?

all A's, all three classes, woohoo!

kids' grades?

all A's, they rock

things are moving along at warp speed. Birthdays and Christmas coming so fast. Not to mention Thanksgiving. I've lost 5 weeks in a blur. That part is okay though, it's the stuff that's left that is driving me nuts.

tv drives me nuts now. When I realized I was watching a soap the other day, I emptied my ipod and filled it with new stuff. Now it's all about music. Which is why I didn't hear the phone when you called, sorry.......I'll call you next month. Still not in the mood. Which could explain my conversation with my doc....went like this...:

Doc: So how are the moods?
me: (snort)
Doc: that good huh?
me: I'm mean and I know it and I don't give a shit
Doc: at least you're honest, it could be worse
me: really? how?
Doc: How's everyone taking that?
me: who the *^%$ cares?
Doc: alright then

Doc is blaming that on my extremely low blood pressure. Which surprises me! I've always had perfect bp. Always. This past week at my appointment it took five trys with two different machines and then manual just to get my bp to read. Then it was seriously so low they took my pulse. So if that doesn't change next week then I'll get some lovely meds. Yeah! meds :( Turns out I had a pulse though, which is good cause that would have been awkward as shit huh? Managed to make it all afternoon without throwing up too, last couple of days have been rough as stomach stuff has been interfering.

Well that is all depressing as hell huh?

So the good news?

All my blue jeans are hanging on me. I keep this up and I'll be able to wear my wedding dress again. Cause nothing says hot like prancing around in your wedding dress twelve years later. I guess since I'll be returning to work soon I should try on my work pants and make sure they will stay up, I've always worn a size or two bigger so that could be really not good if they won't stay up.

Other good news, my kids are amazing. They are doing alot of the bigger chores and happily sweet about it. My baby (6 and still my baby) is all about helping mommy and when I crash for my afternoon nap, she tucks me in and then creeps out the door to go watch cartoons. Sweet baby. My big one wants to shave her legs and needs a shopping trip but is otherwise being quite an amazing kid right now. I am so very blessed with those kids. Even if they sing "Rocking the beer gut" on the way to school.

House is still on hiatus just cause I have enough on my plate. Walking on faith and what will be will be.

My goal for tomorrow is to work a little, manage the day on one nap and walk the entire street on my exercise outing in the morning without having to stop and curb rest. Oh and to call at least one friend. Well the list of people stalking me quite long but I'm gonna try and call one a day so they know I'm alive. I may not be anywhere close to normal yet but that's okay.

Normal is boring. (my new motto)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Reality Bites

Dave was home this weekend. Being that it's my first week out of bed, that was a treat. Big help. I'm slowly working on getting energy back. I'm good in the mornings but after 2 or so, I'm done for. Wiped out and can barely get up off my butt. Not good, doc says by Christmas I'll be back to 90% so I'm holding out for that. I can make it till Christmas, right?

My poor mom is back at her place. Finally get back in the swing of her schedule, her life.

Since the daycare is caput, we've found a solution. We spent all Satuday interviewing nannies. Found a good one, Nichole is a former military lady, has kids of her own (who are very well behaved) and will be coming with her in the afternoons so the kids have playmates. Plus Nichole is all about MY schedule, MY rules, and MY way. Dude, that is totally what I need. Plus she does laundry, washes dishes, and will start dinner (mental note, make menus). She starts part time for now until I go back to work so that I have help around the house since I'm on major restrictions. Fun times. Cross fingers that this works out.

Today we had visitors. Dave and I have been together since we were in our late late teens. One of the first people I met through him was his best friend from high school. Although they keep in touch by phone, it's been awhile since we've sat down and visited with him and his family. Today they were in the area and we all got to sit down for several hours. That was so fun.

Then when they left, it was time for Dave to leave. Why was it so much harder to watch him walk away? It has been tougher than usual. It's like my mood got packed in his suitcase and my mom took it to the airport with him.

It's just hormones right?

Dinner is leftovers and the kids are cooking it themselves. Yes!!!! Very much fun. Too bad they are as sad as I am.........maybe they'll do my homework too.......

Thursday, November 12, 2009

To Do:

Busy weekend coming up!

Friday:
  • get kids off to school
  • get dressed for post op (2nd op) check up - pray get released to drive self!!!!!!
  • make list of movies I want to watch now that my school is caught up
  • make chore lists so the kids can do more help
  • prepare list for sat interviews

Saturday:

  • all day interviews with Nannies (since daycare closed doors for good)
  • snow
  • get Murphy to the groomers, omgawd the hair he's grown, looks like a mini sheep

Sunday:

  • school work due
  • call for hair appointment, maybe she'll come here!! Need a change.

I finally got off my arse this morning and washed my hair. We'll see how long that lasted.

Duchess got pushed around at recess by a bully, going to see principal in the morning. Poor principal, we've had run ins before - he knows my name - but now addresses me properly with a Mrs in front of my last night, moron!

Princess had to go to school with a big ole white headed pimp of doom, her very first, next to her mouth. The little meat head who opened his mouth and was ugly, got in trouble cause the teacher had one too, right next to her mouth as well.......lol

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Times They A Change

I must say that its disappointing how electonic we have become. Emails, texts, phone calls. No body writes letters anymore. The thrill of waiting for a letter, watching for the mailman, grasping that letter finally and tearing through it immediately, literally eating the words up. Then finding somewhere private to pour through it slowly.

No more long nights talking into the wee hours of the morning about everything under the sun.

No more long winding drives to nowhere, sitting as close as you can next to somebody who makes your heart beat wildly, just because they are there.

Noone singing along to the radio to you while staring deep in your eyes.......as if that song was just about you

No surprise visits, out of the blue popping up somewhere you shouldn't be. Just to see them smile.

The effort seems to diminish.

I guess that makes sense in this fast, responsibility full life.

This is what makes me curl up with some of my favorites.........

Emma. Sigh..........

Pride and Prejudice. Oh there are no words for Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth......you just get the feeling that 40 years later, those two will still be quipping and longing.

Anthing Karen Marie Moning. Highlanders even make breakfast yummy.....

Even Wurthing Heights.......Heathcliff might be evil incarnate and Cathy might be nuts but together they were redeemable and love was the only answer.

Real life gets too hectic. We make too many things important. We collect things. We have way too many facebook friends. We complicate things.

Is growing older the problem? Or are we as a whole growing away from the important stuff?

So I'm alone during the days now. Daddy gone back to hunting camp, mom is back to work, kids in school, me shuffling around in my bathrobe trying to do too much but still move around and work on getting some energy back. Dinner kicked my arse tonight, I'm exhausted.

Otherwise, complications gone, getting healed up and better.

Moody as HELL.

Haven't worn anything but pjs for a month now and I'm pretty sure I haven't washed my hair in four days.........

If you've called and I haven't answered the phone, it's cause I'm reading and I have nothing to say, lol...........who really wants to talk about how awful they feel?

But the worst part?

The nightsweats and the day chills.........

They suck some major ........well you get the idea.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Send books and a nanny

Slowly, very slowly regaining my land legs. Turns out complication wasn't as tiny as I thought. Getting back to normal though, only had two naps today and no narcs, yeah me! Worse part is not being able to take a bath and soak away the aches and pains, oh yea, also wish Dave was here for big hugs, those make the day better. He'll be here this weekend though and that will be nice. Once again, couldn't have lived through this week without my parents, including the photo-elusive stepdaddy who came in from his hunting camp to be with me while my mom went back to work. I'm so blessed.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Complications

A few complications, a few setbacks. But my family has stepped up yet again and I've got quite the team. I'm so blessed. Be back later in the week.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What's Normal?

My baby, you know the 6 year old, snuggled up next to me on the couch tonight and told me...

"Momma, I can't wait till your normal again. I miss you"

I second that baby, I'm ready too.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Why oh why?

Am I still in utah for another winter........but better to enjoy this fresh, season opener snowstorm. Gotta get my snowblower plugged in..........

Monday, October 26, 2009

Tired

Friday, October 23, 2009

Blogging my hysterectomy...Part 2

Recovery was interesting, apparently I was in there for awhile....I have no clue. But I do know this: I embrace sleep. So it is no surprise that the few times I've been under, it takes awhile to get me out, cause I like me some sleep.

The really old old almost dead but sweet lady (another volunteer apparently, man, Utah has the corner on volunteers at the hospital) was in my face and her breath smelled like apples, considering how happy she was I'm pretty sure she was sneaking apple martini's when noone was looking. She kept calling my name.........until I'm pretty sure she gave up and went to have another martini as I went back under.

They must have tired of this and said f- this, let's take her to her room, cause the next time I opened my eyes it was to Dave face, my favorite sight, weaving in and out of focus but then nothing. Not sure how many times I did this or how long, but finally I woke up and my mom was sitting across from me. This time I sorta stayed up enough to ask how it went and where was Dave.

Poor guy had to run a million errands for me before winter hits so he was out tagging my 4 wheel drive jeep for the winter cause apparently it took me forever to wake up. Mom did say he was worried about not being there when I woke up, cause he promised he would but I do remember him being there so I'm totally cool. Actually better than cool, cause he busted his butt to make sure I had everything I could possibly need for the recoup period, including 4 wheel drive.

So the rest of Day 1 was a complete blur. I remember lots of shots, lots of water and a little smuggled Dr. Pepper, lots of everything but no pain, I was floating off in la-la land peeps. It was heaven. I love me some drugs, because I have a very low tolerance for pain and for once somebody listened. Having Dave around helps cause he looks mean and tough and frankly I like that about him.

Towards evening, they brought dinner and my entire universe shifted focus. Food became very important, apparently I was severely dehydrated after my surgery but didn't require a transfusion like we'd thought I might. So that cup of broth was the most important thing, so important that I didn't wait for mom to test it, I grabbed the cup and promptly burned the utter shit out of my tongue........then ate like 4 containers of jello to make up for it.

There really is nothing like being high as a kite and getting everything you want. Seriously I had to merely utter to Dave four hours later that I'd like jello and he involved the nurse in the hunt for jello, cause by god, she needed it right then. And I ate enough jello to sustain me for weeks.

My very good very amazing friend from work came by (either she did, or a spirit who has the same exact haircut and eyeglasses did) and we chatted, I think........not too clear on that. Then my girls came in, during which they got to come over and hug mommy and I tried very hard to look "normal" during their 5 minutes in the room, Dave had brought them in with him to see that I was ok and mom took them home for the night. They had this awesome tag team action that went smoothly, I was very impressed. And very high.

The night was broke up into segments of awakeness where I remember having Dave help me turn slightly or reach my drink and I'm pretty sure at one point, I woke him up to ask him to open the blinds cause I couldn't see (duh, it's dark at 2 am). It was also marked by morphine shots every 4 hours. Left hip, right hip, left hip, right hip. These peeps were very concerned that nobody hurt on their shift.

Finally Tuesday morning broke and with it, I kinda came back to consciousness. The drug trip was fun but I was really ready to get normal. So I waved off the shots and started the pill therapy. Realized I had a cathater which freaked me out, but then when that was gone the trip to the bathroom, where you stand up for the first time?

HELL ON EARTH

I swear everything shifted in my stomach and I completely started freaking out, except the nurse holding me keep sushing me, cause Dave was finally sleeping in the chair across the room. Apparently she thought he looked as cute alseep as I did, but damn lady..........so I had to have my semi-mental-lose-my-shit-breakdown in quiet little raspy gasps........fun times.

But once that was over, I got used to getting in and out of bed. My mom showed up with flowers that were at the front desk for me. I never get flowers..........ever.......unless somebody has f-ed up something horrible........so that was a treat. My work is very thoughtful!

Before I know it, food comes. And it's everything that I can't have. Toast,eggs, milk. Why did I waste 10 minutes filling out those damn forms before hand? So interest of eating, we left.

Yeah, apparently I'd passed all the tests and they kicked my arse out. (Seriously they were worried about N1H1 contamination, so I was okay with leaving without taking home some swine)

So that begins my recoup-ing here at home.........

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Blogging my hysterectomy...

So I decided that blogging my hysterectomy might be fun.......cause fun is something I'm running really short on. So I'll back up and run you through.

Day 1 began Monday: bright and early. We got the kiddo's to school and then Dave and I headed downtown to the hospital. Traffic was light so we had time to kill......thus when my daddy called from his hunting camp to check on me, I was at the bookstore, he was not amused.

Other than childbirth and a corrective leg surgery when I was 12 (hello, that is why I'm the shortest peep in the family basket) so I wasn't too sure what to expect when I got to the hospital. And for once I got really really quiet. It's not a good sign when I get quiet.

But on the surgery floor, I had a lovely volunteer named Bob who took me to a room, explained all the equipment in the room such as the tv and the way the bed operates and then left me with a bag for my clothes. He also left me with my very tense and quiet husband and my equally tense but talkative mommy (we all handle tension differently don't we?). You can imagine my surprise when my hospital bathroom looked every bit the airline bathroom, but then I got my gown on and discovered that hospital gowns have come a long way, mine had a hookup that looked like you could plug a car battery into it. Except you can hook up a heater or an a/c vent into the gown. Sweet. Except, they didn't hook me up.

Instead they came in and hooked me up with lots and lots of pokes. So I got more blood drawn. By a sweet little CMA in a patterned scrub. She made the point of telling us that she was trying to branch out her wardrobe with some patterns. Then she left and the minion of satan showed up. Turns out I had to have a shot to thin my blood for the surgery. So that evil bitchmonger of a nurse gave it to me in my stomach. That hurt like the seventh circle of hell! Poor Dave was clenching and unclenching his fist, I was really hoping he would punch her upside her head. No such luck though. But then they came to wheel me away.

So my little parade went up the elevator and once at the lobby, we left mom and Dave in the waiting room and they took me into pre-op. I got my own semi-private cubie where I got my IV and then met with my new best friend, my drug doctor. After going through that, they put my very very sexy compression boots on and since we were running late and my doc was waiting on me in the operating room, rushed me through the hallway.

The operating room wasn't as sci-fi as I thought it would be. A little disappointing........ but I tried not to focus on the stuff littering that room, scary!!!! But once they put me on the operating table, they started securing my arms down, I got a little scared. Then boom, nothing.

Sneaky little drug man caught me when I wasn't paying attention and zapped me.

Next thing I know, this really really old lady was in my face calling my name........even sleeping beauty had to wake up sometime....

Next up: Recovery

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Spilling my guts......

Where to start? Life is complicated. And the Lord is good. Things are interesting....but I can say this......Flashforward is a show I'm not interested in seeing. Cause if you'd have told me I'd be here six months ago, I'd have run screaming for the hills (carrying my shoe collection, natch).



For months I've moaned loudly about being stuck in Utah. Oh how very little did I know. We made the decision to begin the process of a family move. We put the house on the market, we prepped the family and the kids. Dave has been looking for rental houses in his area. We thought we were on the road.



However, we also made the decision to put the whole she-bang in the Lord's hands and walk on faith. First and foremost because stress does not do my body good. The worst thing for my stomach problem is stress. So putting it on his plate, began to take the pressure off mine.



Except last week I realized quickly that we can't plan for everything. Really you can't. And I had an ah-ha moment and then hit my knees.



Let me back up, beginning in April I started having some bothersome health issues that I started haunting my doc with. Then in early August, I took a softball to the stomach. It was a beautiful pitch if I do say so myself, and he hit a beautiful line drive, straight into my stomach. Days later, I went to the doc for pain and swelling. And they sent me straight for a CAT scan. Which came back as clear for internal injury but included a growth of some sort on an ovary (if you're male, go throw up now and come back tomorrow).



My doctor promptly washed his hands and sent me to a specialist. Who sent me for another CAT and ultrasound. Fun times peeps, fun times. But she gave me a list of possible outcomes depending upon test results. Which I processed a little, tiny bit and moved on.



Last Wednesday I met with my doctor and before leaving her office, we scheduled my hysterectomy. For this coming Monday.

I'm 32 years old so I was in a bit of denial, but as Dave says.......I have my kids, we weren't having more.......I won't miss those girlie parts. So after having a parking lot anxiety attack, I put my big girl panties on and reminded myself that I was being proactive, I was being a grown up and I made the choice to do this right, not draw it out.

That being said, I went about notifying my family. It took my mother less than 20 minutes to file for a leave of absence from her job to move in with me to take care of me. She is my hero. I strive to be the mother that she is. With that one stroke, she removed 75% of my concerns. My kids and I would be taken care of since Dave has to work, in another state. Dave is taking enough leave to see me through my surgery and leave me in my mother's capable hands. Blessing are raining upon me. I deserve none of them, so.... thank you Jesus!!!!!!

Work immediately became my other large stress factor. We are a small company therefore I immediately began to stress over not having pay and losing my job. It was groundless. Less than an hour after I told my boss, I had company support. I won't discuss that support here because I refuse to disclose info about my company, as they have completely and totally earned my loyalty....forever. All I can say is ......... I am blessed.

So next Monday, on the 19th, if you get a minute, say a little prayer with my name on it for me. But know that I'm blessed beyond my comprehension and the Lord knew better than I what I would need. Everything has fallen into place so much better than I could ever plan it.

Walking on faith.......... the only solution for the stressed, worried and well....... me.

We'll return to our regular programming shortly.

You just won't believe some of the stuff that comes up around here.......

Hugs and kisses,
Hope4Grace

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Really? Seriously?

Is this really what we as a nation have come to stand for?

Please take a moment of your day to read this article.

As a military family (no longer active duty) I must say this sickened me this morning. For a country that was built upon God (in God we trust, ring a bell?) this is what we have allowed. We have allowed politicians to go this far. It's bad enough that prayer and Jesus are no longer allowed in schools (although the LDS prophet is allowed in my kids' school) but are we as a nation determined to erase him from our very sight? I have seen this cross in person and let me tell you, it's a beautiful sight on the horizon. A beautiful tribute to the service of our military hereos present and past. Please remember this today.........please......

America is at the mall, on the phone and texting.....but our military is at war. Stand behind them or get your ass in front of them on the lines.

Have a blessed day.

Frustrated but honored to be an American,
Hope4Grace

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Dear Stalker:

to clear up a few things.......

- yes, I had a dream about a guy in a wet shirt........you would read that post huh?

- yes, I've been moody, grumpy, and short tempered

- yes, it's been 5 weeks since I had a hug

- yes, it's nice to see your face too

- yes, I've booked your flights home this weekend

- and yes, I've missed you

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Today's Offering

today's song that won't stop prancing it's way through my skull....




Finally got enough sleep it seems. Feel normal for first time in weeks, except now don't want to eat as to ruin the bliss.....sigh....

Friday, October 2, 2009

Sometimes a song just won't stop playing in your head.........this is today's version

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Oh boy

I seem to be having interesting dreams lately. Maybe it's my completely stressed out mind, maybe it's my Austen kick....but last night I'm pretty sure I woke up trying to talk Mr. Darcy out of his wet shirt. Strangely (or perhaps luckily for me) he sure favored Dave alot.

Which reminds me, totally have to break out the movie tonight to watch while I do homework. Back, back back to school again..........

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Still kicking

and screaming and fighting.....sigh. Life continues on as we continue to reside in Utah. We have taken great strides in our efforts to unite our family. We've put a sign in the yard, now we are walking on faith that the Lord will guide our path. Until this house is taken care of in some manner we are unable to do anything in the manner of permanent plans.

To be honest there are drawbacks of leaving Utah (gawd can't believe that I actually wrote that sentence!), I have a great job that I enjoy alot. Read that right, I enjoy the actual job alot. That is not saying anything otherwise. However, I've been very blessed with a great job history of challenging and well paying jobs so I have to have faith that I can work anywhere. I am also leaving my mom and beloved photo-elusive-step-dad. However, I have already started dropping the invites......cause I'm a naughty daughter like that. I can't imagine my life without them fully involved though. I've made several friends that will be painful to leave but that being said I've left friends before and the true test of friendship is the efforts made to continue long distance. You see my very bestest friend in the entire world has lived far from me for a long time. Yet will call me each day if she hasn't heard from me by noon demanding to know what is wrong and where am I. The truest test of friendship.

So those factors aside, I'm most anxious to move back to my home region. Dave is there, which is certainly the main and biggest draw although I must admit that just being in the area where I was born and raised (close enough but far enough for comfort ;) is a factor. I want my kids raised in the simpler way of life. Seriously tired of the rat race attitude.

So here we are, as life continues. We have worked to continue life as normal. Work is going well, busy. The kids are surely busy in school. I swear the sheer amount of homework is staggering. Sadly, the photo-elusive-step-dad is hunting camp bound for the season soon so the kiddos are enrolled in an after school daycare now. Hopefully we'll fall into a new schedule getting family life back to normal. It'll definately be interesting. My only words are pray for me........please.

My medical stuff is gearing up with me finally meeting with the right doctor on the 7th to go over my options. Nervous is not quite the right word. We'll see what happens then.

So I'm off to clean up my house, hopefully we'll have more showings this week. Three last week, not bad seeing as it's only been a week since we put the sign in the yard. Pray for us peeps. Then we're gluten free baking for the week. Cause yum yum yum, I'm gonna need me an apple pie to get through this week.

Monday, September 21, 2009

One of these things....

I like signs.............really cool signs.....so I collect them........but one of these is my favorite right now....can you guess?






















































Friday, September 18, 2009

Busy little bugs.....

It's been insanely busy in the weeks since I've been back from Houston. However, I wanted to hit the highlights...quick like.
Duchess' request for a "fur" from Texas was amusing, until we realized she was serious. Luckily Dave found the perfect thing at a local sporting/hunting store in Houston. So when she opened her coyote pelt, she was super excited.....and super cute. How awesome is technology, via webcam he is able to spend time with them everyday....love it.My last breakfast in Texas with him...one of the rare shots of Hope4Grace you'll see. I'm usually behind the camera.

My girls when I dropped them off for school the first day. I must say they have gotten so big. I feel very very old...

Dave came to visit and promptly took us all to eat.......oh ym BBQ! Duchess likes her some ribs y'all

A great shot of Dave and Princess. I can't tell you how very much I miss seeing them together like this, they are usually attached at the hip....
It's hard being apart but we're working on it. Prayer helps.
Honestly, it was easier to send him off to deployment with the Navy. Six months of little contact and no visits actually allows you to get into a schedule and rythem that doesn't include them even though they are there in thoughts. This is tougher cause we know what we're missing. The week after he visits is hard on us all, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Think I'm gonna have to move to Texas peeps.
Just saying




Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Omgawd....

I actually agreed with Obama today, Kenya was a jackass....... gasp!

That will probably be the last time, sigh....

Life Rolls On

It always amazes me how fast life changes........

I love this pics, cira 2004-ish........my babies were babies.......my hair was naturally dark, we were young....

But I'm liking this pic from last weekend too.........life rolls on and it's not so bad........


The babies are growing so very fast, we are older, my gray has necessitated the use of streaks, but we're still a family that loves each other and lives by the Lords' word......

How quickly time does fly......

Monday, September 14, 2009

Hallo!

Obviously I've been back from my mini-vacay to Houston. However, I have been silenced as I know that some people who read my blog make it impossible for me to really share lately. I hope this changes in the near future, fear not, I'll be back soon, with amusing unfortunately true stories of my life, pics of the fam and kids and our life.

Hang in there with me........

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Way down South...

Well I'm writing to you from the dining room of an RV parked smack in the middle of Eastern Texas. An opportunity presented itself so I made hay and flew in last night at midnight, found my sleepy husband in the airport and we drove two plus hours to get to home-sweet-RV. I'm having the time of my life.

First off, I must say, his schedule and lifestyle are much more bleck than I had it pictured in my head. Gonna give that poor bastard a backrub tonight, cause momma is feeling bad for him. But I'm working to sweeten his life up anyway I can. (Although I must say, his job and RV are such a blessing as well as his brother, it's so awesome and rare that they get time together as adults. I hope the girls can have that kind of relationship when they are grown. The two of them crack me up, boys will be boys)

So after 3 hours of sleep, I got up and took him into work so I could keep his jeep. Man oh man, I'm not a fan of buttcrack dawn but okay....I'm game. So I scrubbed the sleepy out of my eyes, wrote down directions as he drove and waved goodbye to him.

Then promptly got lost.

This wouldn't have been so bad, if I hadn't been in my Disney pjs. The "Grumpy" disney pjs that are like three sizes too big. No makeup, check. No bra, check. My only redeeming feature, I had shoes on. And the nice lady at the Texaco, turned me around and got me back on track, and with a Big Gulp Dr. Pepper too. Yes!

Sadly there was no going back to sleep, so I gathered his laundry and took a shower. Thus promptly clogging his shower drain, but since I don't speak RV, I got the RV owner of place we park, hooking me up. Adding a Y thingy so we can drain all sewers at the same time......duh? Am I the only one who thinks that is a no brainer. And since it's sewer and old guys love me, guess who ain't touching it......

Yep, got it, me.........I'm "helping", pictures to come. Brace yourself.

Then I made a list and hit Walmart cause my man has nothing. New trailer, yes....but no excuse for me treating him like this. He now has the following:

hangers
dryer sheets
crock pot (with a yummy dinner already cooking)
pots and pans
a oven baking dish
a microwave baking dish (for the best baked potatoes on earth)
oven mitts
a cutting board
spoons, forks (damn forgot a knife)
Tupperware for lunches
measuring cup
cooking utensils
Groceries - the guy has apparently been eating the same damn breakfast, lunch and dinner for a week, I love this man.......
an airfreshner
pillows (last night he tried to give me his pillow, sad)

All of this was accomplished by a very generous envelope from my mother and my debit card. The funny part, the grand total was split right down the middle.......

Mom, I can't count the ways I love you. He's going to be so surprised!!!

Next up is scrubbing his shower and doing some laundry....but since I'm running on three hours sleep, think I'm gonna take a little nappy first.

Pictures to come peeps, cause I'm a fool for trees and fresh air and people and tractors and grain silos and train tracks and well you get the picture.......

Hope4Grace reporting from Texas: where I'm trying to bring a little home to my guy

Friday, August 21, 2009

Possibilities....

This past week we finally did it, we got Dave his very own place to live. Since he's in the oil field business and travels for his job, well we got the very best permanent solution we could think of, an RV.

The past six months have found him working in the deep south on assignment. And sharing an RV with his brother and uncle on the same job site........nepotism anyone? But Dave is a big guy and sleeping quarters were very small. So we've been working it upgrade him some. Plus it'll give me and the kids a place to stay when/if we can visit.

So he went shopping. And the Lord blessed us oh yeah he did. We were able to get him his own 33 ft RV paid in cash peeps. This is a big deal for us, we're trying to be cash people but trying is the word in this economy. But with the Lord's help, we did it!

Our new second home, a big arse travel trailer..........cause we're official rednecks now. I'm getting a bumper sticker that says that too, real soon.

So we've gotten it parked, it was baptised by a tornado in the area the first full day he moved in so I'm pretty sure we're good to go. So besides being able to talk more, last night we pulled the trigger.....

We set up skype. Our goal is for the kids to have at least 30 minutes a night of Daddy face time. But it was hysterical trying to get it all set up. Next time I need to do my hair and put on makeup geez......

But it's nice to see that we're both making an effort to keep our family running smooth, even with 5 states between us.......

Monday, August 17, 2009

Oh My Duchess


Just yesterday you were tiny, 7 lbs and 7 oz with a full headfull of jet black hair and rosy fat cheeks......
And now, you steal my breath away.
And you're 6.5 years old starting First Grade this week.
You know a secret kid, mommy doesn't spend one second worrying about you finding your way. You are the kid that makes her own way, other people be damned.
Rock on kiddo

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Your Guess?

My day had all the following:

-hysterical kids
-Elvis memorial celebration on my porch
-splinters
-cleaning the garage
-working on purchasing an RV for Dave
-horseshoes
-wood removal
-grounded kids
-a gun
-a hacket
-a shovel
-a black 30 gallon trash bag
-a body

Wanta guess what we did today?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

My How They Grow:

I'll be sprinkling the blog with recent pics I took of the kids.......it just flabbers my ghast how they have grown so big so fast........ and their personalities are just over the top, like their momma and daddy!

So even though they drive me crazy, they are mine and I'm so very very blessed.

Sigh!

I miss lovey-dovey stuff. You don't get those little things everyday when you live in separate states. That sucks. Little pats, hugs, kisses on your hair, nuzzles, new shoes (oh wait, got those today myself).

And watching Titanic on tv while cooking dinner and sobbing into the coleslaw as I stir is just pitiful.

Sigh.