Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!

Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!


Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this us....


This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public


My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Night & Day

There is so much truth to this statement, night and day. When I had my second little girl, I was warned by too many people that they would be night and day. Be prepared. So I wasn't prepared for hell on wheels. Just really never gave it a second thought. What the hell was I thinking? Aren't your elders always right? Duh? Well now I have two distinctly different kids. They are truly night and day.

Princess is my emotional, thoughtful, sensative kid. Yeah she talks alot but the kid is my heart. She is so thoughtful that since today was "bring a friend" day at ballet, she only thought to bring her bestest friend, her sister. Wow, that's so much nicer than me. So off they went. Now I don't get off work in time to take her to ballet but since the daycare is across the road, they make sure she gets there twice a week for her conservatory classes. They rock. So by the time I got there it was already ongoing......
But Duchess, she is my soul. That kid is truly a handful and had no problems leaving class to greet me with a hug and kiss and a "I missed you, I really like the field trip today at school and I didn't get in much trouble at all" speech, said without taking a breath and in 2 seconds flat. Much trouble? Then she hightailed it back inside cause she was there to be her sissy's friend. She let it be known several times that she was only there at silly ballet cause her sister needed her. Geez, and I heard her through the glass observation window too, so it must have been very loud. No wonder the poor teacher stopped what is normally a serious class to pound some pills and slug water. Wimp.
So as you can see, Princess is concentrating on the task at hand, she really loves ballet. Gives it her all. Whereas Duchess is trying, I'll give her that. In between water breaks, potty breaks and hug breaks all taken without so much of a care if they interrupt the class.

Since she was obviously not a normal student, I had quite the little crowd surrounding me as I stood watching from the lobby. Several older girls were ahhhh-ing and several parents were smiling. Cause she is just damned cute huh? Not to mention the parents sitting out in front of the glass windows in their cars, watching their precious ones too.
So when I was asked if Duchess was mine, I said with a straight face, "Nope, not my kid" And when class let out, and she attacked my legs wanting lovings, I said in a sing-song voice "Come on darlings, I'll take you to your mother" To which Princess and Duchess both assured everyone in the room that I was indeed their mother, the vassel that bore them light. Crap.....

Cause this was only one instance that I managed to document on film. I swear, this is going in her high school year book. She gets that from The Man's side of the gene pool.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Much Ado About Hair

I always forget to make time to do things I need to do for me:

ie: Haircuts, annual dr. visits, clothes and deo

So I'm so very proud of myself for scheduling a hair appointment for me and Princess tomorrow after work. The lady who cuts us is a wonder! Anywhere else but here, she would be a $75 cut, here she works from home two days a week cause she is a full time mom with five kids. Wow, that alone deserves more than $20 a cut. But I'll bask in that misfortune cause I'm cheap. And proud of being cheap.

So now I'm faced with a personal decision. I hate those.

Seriously, I can do financial decisions, spiritual decisions, martial decisions, and parenting decisions quickly and smoothly. However, I can't settle on a hair style for nothing.

Bangs? I think so, maybe diagonal though, cause I have round face syndrone and that would suck if it made it worse. But I need some hight somewhere. I miss Texas hair.

Length? keeping it long I think, The Man loves my long hair, even if it's always in a pony when he sees me at home. Sometimes, he drops in at my work so he can see me "made" up, seriously. But I think I'll be keeping my length, I like the whole female look. I just wish I was ballsy enough to try a cute short stack, CHICKEN, yep, that's me. Bock-bock

Color? Should but that costs alot extra. I tend to do mine with what's on sale at Wally world. Cause seriously grey hair is not cool. And I'm seriously going grey. The Man refuses to allow me to embrace my greyness, cause I think it would be cool....right?

Why is it so hard to decide? It's just hair?

Cause it's hair baby..........and I still have no idea what I'm gonna do......

I'm tempted to go in and say "Do me" and see what comes home with me........

Dare I?

An Odd Overview

Things a little hectic and I find myself stressing out over things I can't possibly change. Gonna try some armchair pysch stuff here and solve my own problems....once we exam them....cause I'm OCD like that

The worrywart part of me thinks: Still paranoid about not fitting in at work......each week I breath deeply on Friday cause I got no pink slip:

The intelligent part of me says: First off, I'm blessed and have a great job. I make a good living doing what I'm best at, I'm somebody (or in this case, seven somebodies) right hand. I do things before they know they need them. That is my job. I have access to work from home, they completely DO NOT expect me to be there if I'm sick or my kids are sick, I'm a mom first. This is why I get three weeks sick leave a year. Dang. That is alot. True I'm not really the normal employee, the other girls are unmarried and younger than me. They are only waiting until they marry, that is what work is, a purgatory if you will for them. They are not so inclined to overachieve. I'm used to overachievers. The men I work for are great. They are always interested in my family and my hubs and they apologize for interrupting me so that they can give me work. Blessed I tell you. What is my problem? Not real sure.

The worrywart wonders: Why is the housing market dropping so dang much so fast.

The smart me says: Who cares, enjoy it cause eventually you'll be ready in oh say June when you're lease is up to purchase your first home. Be happy in other's misfortune. Damn that part of me is cruel.

The worrywart reminds me: What is the 15% expected drop continues after you purchase. Then you'll be up the creek, losing money right away? WTF? Do we continue to lease? ARGH...

Again, smart me says: Welcome to the club.....unless you're magic eightball gives you a surprise answer, you're now in the same boat as most Americans. Deal with it.

Dumbfounded me asks: How can any ole idiot put stuff on your credit report?

Smart me says: Hello stupid, you wrote legal briefs for four years, put that knowledge to work and start a letter writing campaign to said idiots. Then file suit if you have to, duh.... I'm not sure who (*&^%%^**( is but they used my social and ran up a nice fat electric bill somewhere that just popped up on my report. And it's a dude. Hello I'm obviously a chick. I'd even let a rep from this company peek down my oh so proper shirt to verify this if they would only remove that crap. Oh no, it takes an act of congress to remove it, even if it's not yours. My advice to you, watch your credit reports. We ignored ours for ten years, then hello I can't.

Furious me wants to know: why my kids classmates were making fun of her cause she was a different religion than them? We're Baptist by the case you were wondering....

Then pissed off me: kept picking up the phone to call said parents of said little turds and then kept putting the phone down cause I'm totally the wrong person to try and talk tolerance when I'm pissed off, especially when they made my kid cry. So I did the smart thing, I called my father-in-law and he talked to my kid and then gave me a much needed lecture in keeping my temper reined in. So I'm better, until I think about it then I grit my teeth and want to pull somebody's hair out. (Warning: soapbox ahead) See cause I'm tolerant, I have had friends of all religions, even one who had no religion. I respect everyone's right yet at times I do minister to those when my heart leads me to do so. (even if doing so makes me feel hypocritical, cause I'm a sinner and even though I love the Lord, I feel like I'm wearing a big ole neon sign that screams SINNER even while speaking of the blessings I experience) so it bothers me when I run into ignorance. Because that is what it is, it's ignorance people. And it's scary when you teach that to your kids.......hello........(getting off soapbox now)

Parental me asks: Why one kid will not eat to save her life and the other is constantly hungry. This is a new thing in my house and I'm beside myself with worry. One keeps getting told by strangers and friends alike how lovely and slender she is...............why would you tell a nine year old how slender she is? What is wrong with you if you do? The other one is asking for food constantly.

Dr. Spock via the Internet parent assures me: That the little one must be in a growth spurt and it's normal for her to have a hungry phase, really, just healthy food and not alot of junk. That causes a great big DUH to escape my lips. The other, well I'm just gonna have to make sure she is eating cause a part of me is worried that she isn't because she knows she's slender. I'm sure nine is too young for that, and I'm sure I'm being paranoid, but I have had some experience with the whole controlling your weight by not eating thing. So I'll just keep watching that and tempt her with yummy healthy snacks packed with nutrients.

So there, I feel better doing my little purge. These are all the thoughts that were rattling around in my head today. OH I almost forgot a big one.......

Today at work a coworker's messenger got infected with a virus when she was chatting. Which sent it to all our us on her messenger, turns out my new desktop comp at work had no anti-virus which allowed the bug into our network. So I'm trying not to feel bad (cause hello, I didn't know) cause my comp managed to infect the entire company network. slip anyday now.

This is where I chant, stress is no good. Stress is no good.

Does anyone else stress about stuff that they really can't DO anything about?

Oh and it's snowing again.......damn

Monday, January 28, 2008


You know it's a rough day when your office shuts down due to bad weather....

Your 15 minute commute takes an hour.....

You have to wake your hubs up to 4x4 you to pick up your kids.....

You lost 1.5 lbs shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.....

You use an entire bag of ice salt.....

You down to your last three cigs....unless you count that stale pack you found under your seat....

It's gonna be a long night....

Sunday, January 27, 2008


Duchess and I were carpooling together yesterday on our way home from work/preschool....

Me: Did you have a great day honey?

Her: Yep, I didn't hit anyone

Me: Good job.....

Her: (interrupting) Do I get M&M's?

Me: No


Me: (Singing to the radio)

Her: Mommy I see something in the sky

Me: An airplane?

Her: Nope it's a spaceship

Me: weather balloon?

Her: Nope, it's a spaceship

Me: No, it's not

Her: Yes it is

Me: No, it's not


Me: it's rude to yell

Her: it's rude not believing me.....

Me: huh? Who said?

Her: ummmmm it's a spaceship

Me: Do you know what's in a spaceship

Her: aliens

Me: huh?

Her: scary green monster aliens

Me: no, it's not

Her: uh-huh

Me: no, it's not, no aliens, no monsters, no spaceship

Her: I'll ask daddy

Me: (sigh)

Her: He knows all about aliens.......(blah blah blah, ongoing conversation that I kinda blocked out)

Later in the evening as The Man is under the hood of his truck and the thought occured to me:

Me: Do you know all about aliens......?

Him: huh? Pass that socket, no not that one, that's a wrench, the socket by your left hand, no not that one, the other aliens?

Me: yeah aliens

Him: no, but I did read our coffee table book on conspiracys, it was in there

Me: yeah? I missed that

Him: why?

Explained the conversation with Duchess......

Him: Huh, well why do you tell her that crap?

Me: huh? Not me, I didn't tell her that

Him: damn gossiping preschool know it alls........I hate when she talks to her friends about crap

Me: well that pretty much covers it

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: A Day in Our Life

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Pissy Poop Face

It has occured to me that perhaps I should try and put positive things about me on my blog. However, they are never as fun. Plus I think it's important to face your faults, or in my case, all three thousand of them. So this should come as no surprise to anyone, I'm a sore loser.

By this I don't mean that I can't stand to lose, I mean that I lose with such graceless name-calling, fit throwing essence that I really shouldn't be allowed to do anything constructive or that involves competition.

Last night, The Man and I had some unexpected downtime. So we dug out the board games I bought at Christmas. He wanted to play chess but I haven't a clue how to, plus I just knew I was such a badass that I would whip his butt in checkers, maybe we could lead up to chess. Maybe I'm a closet chess pro who just didn't know it, riggggggggggggggght.

So out comes the checkerboard.

We start the first game in martial comfort. Sipping iced tea and snacking on pecan bars that I made, cause at least cooking is still my thing.

It swiftly went downhill.

See The Man is a jerk when it comes to games. DO NOT PLAY WITH HIM EVER.

It started quite early, the taunts, the jeers and the superior laugh when I got cornerned very early in the game.

Then I got down to two pieces of gameware and he made it know verbally that I was toast. Either way I moved, I was a goner. "In two moves, I got you"

I studied that board like the cure to cancer was written before me.

I was a goner.

But the point that he had to point that out, killed me. So we went into another game. This one went faster, it's almost like he didn't allow me any dignity at all. It was quite embarrassing.

The worst was the taunts..... "Honey, stradegy isn't your thing, no big deal, just don't plan any wars" "Really honey, not everyone is sharp" "so i won, but I can't cook or do laundry anywhere near as good as you can"

By this point I was steaming mad and trying to hold my tongue so badly it hurt. See my precious children were playing another game at the end of the table. I can't let my mouth open at all.

Until, he had me blocked on my last three pieces.....

"Honey, give this one up and we'll play rummy, oh wait, I whip you there too. How about, ahhh that won't work, you suck at poker, I know..............we'll have a spelling bee....."

That was it, because in spite of everything he said that was 100% true, I can't spell to save my life, a fact that you might have noticed by reading this blog.....I lost it.

As the vile words came spewing out of my mouth, he was tickled pink, openly laughing as I swept that checkerboard to the floor, inabling him finishing that horrible game then as my children caught my eye, I threw out the very best non-lethal curse word I could, from in between gritted teeth......pissy poop face.

I am very ashamed of myself, cause surely I could have come up with something a little cooler than pissy poop face. geez......

I'll be finding checkers for weeks.

Friday, January 18, 2008

I Can Never Shop There Again

Once again, life is never simple in this house. Last night we left the house to go and attempt to purchase a air compressor. See The Man is handy and he fixes all our cars and household problems. Well he has to replace the seal gasket on something in his hunting rig, so that means pulling the tranny and getting down to business. Seriously he's saving us hundreds by doing it himself. I love him.

So off we go after work in both vehicles, his single cab truck and my car. Cause we don't all fit in his truck, yet we wanted to use it to pick up the air compressor before we sold it. Cause who needs three vehicles, not us.......

So we left immediately after I got home. We decided to put dinner off until we were done to just get it over with. So we get to Store 1, a national chain, where according to their website, they have 1 in stock and it's way cheaper than everyone else's 30 gallon air compressor.

So while he's doing his thing, I have the kiddos in a car buggy, running them around the store. Like crazy manics but they are amused. Duchess was "driving". Then comes the news 30 minutes later that all they have left is the floor model and it doesn't have all the parts with it, you want?


So we head off to another branch of Store 1, downtown, about 45 minutes away. Great.......So I'm in traffic following The Man when I realize my glasses aren't in my purse. See at night, if I don't wear my glasses when driving, all the little red lights become one big red light, not good. So I have Princess searching my car for them and opps mommy I think they fell out in the car buggy when I moved your purse in Store 1. Greatttttttttttt

So I called The Man who was now at least 2 exits ahead of me. He was not happy. We turn off and head back to Store 1. By this time, it's almost 8 and the stores close at 9. Oh and we haven't had dinner. Duchess was also asleep in his truck.

So we get back to Store 1, The Man approaches the car buggy and viola, there are my glasses. So we load back up. Then I noticed that I was almost out of gas, so I called him and suggested a detour by the wholesaler place where I buy my gas. Again, not happy. But we got gas in the car and headed back towards the freeway.

At the last minute, The Man swears over towards a local Store 2, saying we might as well save ourselves a trip downtown, okay. So he goes in and comes out not happy, again.

So we then head to Store 3, this is where I made an ass of myself.

We hit Store 3 and sure enough there is the compressor we need, for almost the same money as the first deal. Woohoo, the teenaged clerk assures us it comes with the necessary tools and we're good to go. So I am standing at check out and he's ringing me up, when he happily announces that the tools and accessories are separate. Excuse me?

Here's the deal, don't tell me one thing and do another. I will eat you alive.

So I was like no, you're gonna honor what you told us, that is why we are purchasing this model. Blah blah blah, in the midst of the standoff, The Man comes running back saying that in the back on display is a better model (brand name) with all the tools he could ever need....he'll take that one.


Okay, we'll take that one. So The Man takes the kids off to look at books while I wait to pay. I get asked for my card, then he punches all my name and stuff in the computer, ummmm hello. I don't want my name and address in your system. That is how you get junk mail and phone calls galore. No.

Sorry ma'am I can't sell it to you unless you're in the system..........WTF

Okay so what's your address?

F*ck you

Pardon? Nice little sweet boy that he was, he thought he misheard......

No, F*ck you. That is my address and if you want to make this commission you'll put it in the system.

So after some arguing and then him finally realizing that I wasn't budging. He put my address down as :

F*ck you Street
Kiss, AS 12345

My receipt proves it.

I can never shop there again. I may have a little problem with obsessing about things, but I'm tenatious and at least I'll see it through to the end. And, the fackers won't be giving out my brand new phone number to idiots to call my house................

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Dear Lord....

Thank you for the many many blessing that you have given me.

Thank you for my happy, healthy children who make me smile even when the rest of my day sucks.

Thank you for the husband who loves me no matter what.....and calls to wake me up and tell me to put out the garbage cans on a day that isn't garbage day.

Thank you for not letting the neighbors see me without pants when I was dragging those cans to the curb.

Thank you for my job, the security it brings and the happiness that the fridge full of free Dr. Peppers that keep me sane and on a continual buzz.

Thank you for my paycheck and for J.C. Penney's. Together they make beautiful music.

Thank you for my mom. For loving me even though I'm difficult, moody, opinionated, type-A all the way.

Thank you for my mom spending time with my kids and spoiling them rotten, they adore her. Thank you for allowing us that.

Thank you for my mom sneaking into my house before sunrise this morning while I lay peacefully sleeping in my bed, gun nearby. Thank you for making sure that I slept like a rock and didn't hear her and wake up and pull a gun on her. Cause Princess needed her backpack, and my mom rocks. Thank you for making that trip out in the middle of the night to bring it to her, I hope it wasn't cause you couldn't sleep, I hate when you can't sleep.

Thank you Lord for the snow, it's wet, white and pretty. I've never seen so much of it. Turns out it's cold too lord......I'd rather be thanking you for a warm spring, but I do love the snow.

Thank you that you made sure I bought a car with front wheel drive in California before ever knowing I would be moving to the mountains. Your foresight has saved me many of ditch trips.

Thank you for the four pounds I lost.

Thank you more for healing me and allowing me to get over the stomach flu, which might have had something to do with the four pounds I've lost. But thank you for watching over my health.

Thank you Lord for loving me even though I'm difficult, willful, non-obediant, sassy, loaded with attitude, slightly vain, and a sinner.


Monday, January 14, 2008

Things You Just Thought You'd Want to Know

Have you ever thought....hmmm well I wonder what her closet looks like? Well after reading blogs and looking at pics of everyones houses and stuff, yeah I wonder that too. So since I was obviously house bound for almost a week, I took pictures of things I'd like to share with ya. Things that if you were a visitor to my house, I'd make sure you didn't see.....ever....

Starting with under my stairs. We have this odd shaped closet. So here we have freak reason #1 The Man refuses to get rid of our packing boxes, because we WILL move again and he hates to have to look for or buy boxes. So we store them under the stairs, along with other crap we just refuse to throw his fins....we used those a long time ago when he swam two hours a day, but you never know when you're gonna needs some size large fins.

The Euro mount deer head, one of many that graces the walls of my den. This is the argument that has lasted most of my marriage. I refuse to have them in the livingroom, so instead each house we live in, we juggle them around until one or the other gives up. When they wound up above my bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPES! I gave in and they now grace the walls in our den.

My closet. This was scary and I was so tempted to clean it up first, or better yet, not share this but whimps we ain't, so here you go. You can see some of my purse collection up top. I like me some purses. The rest isn't impressive at all though. Opps, need to seriously vaccum.

The "drawer" in the master bath. Yep, I can't keep this thing organized to save my life. If only I could, then I could find the nail clippers we've been hunting for, the baby has wolf nails!

My pitiful attempt to create a centerpiece. Hmmmm cinnamon and pinecones in a glass bowl with obviously bought at Ross candleholders and candles that don't quite fit in there. This is not a skill that comes easily. Why can't I ever just find the perfect centerpiece?

His side of the bed. I didn't dust at all, can't you tell, my lamp is nasty! This is his side and it's got my foot lotion, tossed there after I begged and bribed and pleaded and cried till he rubbed my feet. His current book, that I've managed not to steal and read when he wasn't looking. My candles and a remote.

My side of the bed. Bobby pins pulled out of my hair at 5 am, funny I don't remember having those in there. Tummy meds, hello...... hand lotion and deo, a book and some dead flowers. He brought me those......awwwwwwwwwwwww.. oh and my hat. I love stupid hats, I think they rock.

My tub. Yep, that would be yet another bath I'm running there. But I've got my pictures and my girlie crap stacked in there. The only product I was a little embarrassed about leaving in the pic was my shaving's called coochie and it's the best shaving cream on earth. My aunt is gonna kill me if she reads this part, can't believe I said coochie on the internet.....

My favorite, current purse. Hello green thingy you. I just love purses......This one matches my eyes.

Medicine cabinet, all the things necessary to survival....

All the things he needs to survive, this is depressing realy......

My favorite slippers. I wear these bad boys all over the house. The Man keeps threatening to shoot them as its duck season. I love them. They are happy feet.

My dearest Wiki, everyone meet Wikipedia, my fish.............isn't he handsome?

The one thing in the house that I turn on everyday. The Man's Christmas present. I love old records with a vengenance. So as soon as I get in, it's on...........

My girls doing schoolwork. Even though I have to be a full time working mom, instead of a homeschooling mom like I want, I keep extra work going on with my girls. We suppliment with homeschooling stuff.

I'm nuts about these people too........

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Sharing is nice but go away

Items brought to my bathroom, where I have spent quite alot of time in the last four days, damn tummy flu........TMI, sorry....

*A roller skating puppy: "He wants a kiss mommy, just kiss him mommy, really quick so I can leave mommy"

*the phone........for cripes sake, stop calling my house, you know I'm indisposed.....

*blackberry.....cause work never stops

*a Dr. Pepper: cause mommy might be thirty

*a bowl of soup: seriously, Duchess brought me my lunch to the bathroom....."L-E-A-V-E now"

*two new books: cause a girls gotta have something to read

*the phone.....come on people, I changed my phone number for a reason.......

*my cell phone: Yes, "N" I'm still alive, sorta

*a torn skirt: "Since you have some time on your hands mom, fix this" Not sure where Princess got the idea that I can acutally sew, about busted a gut laughing over that one......haha, brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it, this is why I know the dry cleaners drive through lady by name

*Wiki food: "cause he needs to eat mom"

*a blanket and a pillow: "in case you need a nap mommy" Thanks Duchess

*the phone.........OMG

There is an end in sight as I am happy to report that I'm not typing this from the bathroom. Although it occured to me that I should really decorate my bathrooms, give people something pretty to look at......

Friday, January 11, 2008

The Beat goes on...

Just because mom is sick doesn't mean the world stops. The Man gets very grumpy when I'm down and tends to say "If you'd get better, this wouldn't happen...." to everything. So I spend alot of time asleep, hiding in my room with my books. The best part about being sick is overhearing everything that is going on around me.....

All overheard within the past 72 hours.....

*No mommy is not going to the hospital, she is sick. NO, NO SURGERY!

*I don't think you can wear a dress to's 13 degrees do I know where your tights are? Do you own any? Fine, where would they be? If I were a pair of tights, I promise you I wouldn't be there......YOUR WEARING JEANS, end of subject!

*No honey, you can't make her sicker by kissing on her. No honey, the wicked witch didn't knock her out. Just hurry up and kiss her and get out.

*Everytime I go to take a shower, your in the tub.....HOW does 14 baths a day make you feel better? I smell like a foot and you smell like a garden.

*This is your homework? You're serious? Do you have hats and streamers at school when you do this work? Geez, I remember homework being alot harder.

*Daddy, why are you watching a daddy movie (eastern promises, gutter mind) when we're still awake, mommy says we need some girlie time before bed. TURN IT OFF.

*I don't want your stew, I thought we were having chicken noodle soup. I want chicken noodle...

*No......go to bed......

*No.....go to bed.....

*Honey..........are you better yet?

Wednesday, January 9, 2008


A nasty combo of head cold/stomach flu has taken me hostage. There is no end in sight. Urgh.....

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Painful Separation

This past week, my mom and the photo-elusive stepdad moved into their own place in town. The lucky duckies now live right off main street and can walk to everywhere I dream about on a regular basis. So in between finishing the holidays, returning to work and school, we've been packing and helping them move.

Since The Man borrowed some friends for the heavy lifting, I was able to coax them into moving my whole office (desk, equip, bookshelves full of trashy romance novels and etc) back down to the basement, that was empty again. This meant unhooking and losing wireless connection in my house. I've been a lost soul floating along in a sea of despair, however, I was soon to have an office.

I missed Britney's breakdown, I missed the storm warnings that came in before we got pelted. I missed it all. Not to mention email and blogging.

However, after a painful separation, I'm back baby. Today, The Man restored my faith in his capable skills by splicing together the necessary cords needed to connect my wireless connection, finally....... God Bless this man and his handy self!

So to catch you up to speed, my dear devoted thirteen readers, almost all of you comprised of former or current military wives who refuse to create a login name and actual comment on my whit and humor (oh and of course, mom .... hi mom~) I'll give you the blessed highlights of my past week and a half.

Princess had a playdate with a good friend of hers from school, who other than the fact that she calls here way too often, I suppose is cool enough. Except during dinner, Duchess announces when I gave her a second helping of juice that "You're the bestest mom every.......really, I bet *****'s mom is a bad mom". There really are no words for that. The poor kid was complimenting her mom and got the shut down by dad for being rude. Sigh, really there is no appreciation for outspoken, honest people.

Duchess had developed a nasty habit of never flushing the toliet. Ever. No matter what goes in it. Ever. There is nothing like waking up and going to my bathroom (which is one of four in this house people, four!) located directly off my bedroom, to find stuff.........that has sat over night. I'm not gonna tell you how badly I gaged, but I was proud that I didn't toss my cookies. The sad part of that is the fact that during the night, rather than go right outside her bedroom door in the hall to her bathroom, she went through my room to mine. Geez. Compound this by the fact that during the next 24 hours, I come upon two other "surprises" and I've about had it. I actually caught The Man waiting outside the bathroom door so it scared the sh*t out of her to open the door and there he is, waiting with Lysol, hand sanitizer and a terse reminder to "flush the freaking toliet". The only justice in this is the fact that my mom calls after Duchess had been over to "see" the new place and "help" unpack with the news that Duchess obviously feels right at home in the new place, she didn't flush there either.

I am the proud owner of a bowflex now. The Man bought it off a friend for a steal, literally less than I spend on his Christmas present, so my office is now the office/gym. Cause that dirty beast is huge! However, it's kinda hot watching him get all excited and trying to show me all it'll do and how it'll change my life. It's kinda like how I get when there is a purse sale. I've sat on it and petted it once but haven't yet gotten down and dirty, i.e. sweated on it yet. I'll keep you posted as I soon hope to get in some rowing on that bad boy.

The Man and Princess had an event afternoon of attempting to rid us of the dead dried out Christmas tree, Steve. Since our "town" is so new, they have no place to rid yourself of the eyesore that is after Christmas debris so they took it up the mountain with a friend and his tree to "drop" it off somewhere they wouldn't get a stinking ticket. That went fine and dandy until the road they were 4x4ing up disappeared and they slid down a 30 foot bank into soft fresh snow. Well, by the time they called me to report in safely, they'd managed to finally get out, with no damage to the tree or persons aboard. The Man was flushed with success and the redneck in him was thrilled at the outcome. Seems they put "Steve" and guest tree under the back wheels for traction and the climbed up and out finally. Princess was given the task of steering while the pushing was taking place in neutral. My kid now is all about 4x4 things. My little redneck princess in the making. This brings up the question.... does this shit happen to anyone else or just us? Why can't we just go and drop off a tree?

The only other news worthy item is the fact that my house is immaculate and I'm thrilled to say that my landlord (after meeting me in person for the first time and seeing my home) called me anal. That just made my day.

I think you're good and caught up now. Normal broadcasting will continue.......