(Crickets)

That sound you heard about an hour ago was the sound of utter silence. And if you know me, then you probably think if I was in that silence I must have knocked myself unconcious. But alas, no. That was me sitting across from my new doctor, stunned. I'm GF for a reason. I have celiac spru disease which has no cure (yet but I'm sure they'll be using gene splitting soon right?) and I live Gluten Free out of necessity. I struggled for years trying to figure out what was constantly wrong with me, why my normal was so unlike everyone else's. After a long awkward journey, an intern sitting in on a regular doctor appointment accidently diagnosed me. It was crazy. It was completely insane but completely right. So myit  family rallied around me and we jumped in with both feet. Cause it's how we roll, one for all and all that crazy mess. We turned my house into a GF zone after a couple bad attempts of removing gluten from my diet. I even use gluten free shampoo/conditioner now, so it's a pretty life changing thing. I had to change the way I ate and it was the most difficult thing I'd had to do at that point. But over the last three and half years, I've mastered the art of being GF and my normal is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay different now.

That said, since I left Utah I've only been to one new doc. She was not a good match for me. See after I had my girlie parts removal surgery (different subject) in late 09, my system went nuts. I had low everything. Pulse? Blood sugar? Blood pressure? all low. Sleep? Non-existant for months upon months. And when we first moved to Texas, she argued that even though I'd been through umpteen docs and tests and years of drama to get a diagnosis she wouldn't treat me without me seeing her specialist and starting the process over. I don't think so.

So I was gun-shy. Except, I've been having trouble with my tummy lately so I was a good girl and started asking total strangers for referrals. Someone picking up Gluten Free Bisquick at Walmart? Who's your doctor? Buying Gluten Free sandwiches at Jason's? Who's your doctor? Finally found one in my little town here, shocker. A local doc has ALOT of celiac patients and it took eight weeks to get an appointment with him.

I LOVE HIM. We sat down and went through all my medical history and wrapped it up with a candid talk about my routine and mainteance on tummy issues. He's about the most intuitive person I've ever met. He asked questions noone ever asked and I realized that he is very familiar with my lifestyle and how I live with my stomach stuff. It was an extremely joyful moment!

We worked through all my supplements, sleeping habits. He read me the riot act over my smoking then winked at me and said, there I can keep my license now. Then he encouraged me to drop a few things out of my schedule so that I can regulate the amount of stress in my life. (Sorry doc but I"m not putting off my MBA, no way). Then it was sleeping, he told me to chart my sleeping habits cause I was honest and told him that without any aids, I'd trained myself to get at least four-five hours of sleep a night. So I'm a work in progress.

But the silence, those deafening crickets.............. when we finished up and got ready to leave he simply shook his head at my file and told me "You've dodged alot of bullets healthwise young lady, yet here you are happy and healthy. You did that, not a doctor. But I'll try to help you the best I can"

I cried a little in my car over that one. I can't remember the last time someone looked at me and saw the sum of every hurdle behind the smiles and smart ass mouth. It put a little extra something in my step, because I didn't do that........God did that. He's got my back. Since I was a toddler was wasn't ever suppose to walk unassisted to this very moment, he's had my back!

Now I'm gonna go take my kids to church, cause he's got their backs too!

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Latest GF Creation: Blueberry Cobbler

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Do you know someone Gluten-Free?

If you do, please be a big ole sweetie and earn some heaven points...buy them a box of Gluten-Free Bisquick Mix.

It's the shit.

Seriously.

I buy a case at a time. They run about $3.50 a box and each box is about 3 cups but man, the world of cooking really bloomed again for me when I started using this treasure.

I've made:
peanut butter cookies
blueberry crumble
garlic/cheesy biscuits
pizza crusts
apple crisp
apple pie
chicken and dumplins
pie crusts
etc.

If you're comfortable with baking, there is a million things that you can do to adjust just about any recipe to make it Gluten-Free. No more making my own flour mixtures for every recipe....don't get me wrong, I still have it on hand for those recipes that I can't adjust but man oh man... I can't tell you how long it's been since I've had breadsticks. BREADSTICKS.... gluten-free.......sigh.

So spread some love.

And send a love letter to Bisquick if you're a GF baker like me, cause it's a beautiful thing. Brings a tear to the eye of this extremely cynical person.... sniff.

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Success! Apple Fritters!

So last night I tried to make some cheesy, bacon biscuits. They stunk! Sometimes GF cooking is def hit/miss. That one was a MISS, and wow what a miss.

But it's raining hurricane conditions here today so what to do.....attempt GF apple fritters. Now Dave was into yet another experiment cause he's into apples, so much so that he ran to the store for all the ingredients I lacked. Cause he's cool like that.

And I made them..... Oh GAWD did I make them.....

So anyone with a GF peep in their life, comment and I'll send the recipe over.

SUCCESS!

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Taco Hell......

The third day after eating some wheat, I'm a miserable bloated grumpy bastard-ess.

And it's the third day after the kids begged for a quick lunch at Taco Hell....

I'm sucking big ole nasty .... stuff.

Oh my lord am I so regretting eating those corn tacos, there was some contamination in there!

And this is why I'm totally not even tempted to knowingly eat wheat.

Gluten is the devil.

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Love on a Plate

Yesterday was a very busy school day for us peeps here in Texas. So when the late afternoon rolled around we headed up to the ole pharmacy so our med refills, some cold pills, and ziplock storage bags and a 30 minute wait next to a police officer who told Duchess that she talked too much.

So when 530 rolled around, I sent Dave a text:

"where u want eat?"

his response: NE where

After I deciphered that, I let him and his brother pick and we all met up at Johnny Carino's.

I am in love.

Not only do they have a gluten free menu, but they let me bring in some GF pasta and the chef cooked it into my favorite dish, shrimp scampi.

I have tell you how wonderful it is to be in a restaurant where I can eat something I didn't cook. Oh my mercy, I just love it. It makes me all happy and giggly. Yeah go ahead and imagine me happy and giggly, it ain't a purty sight.

And I'm sitting here trying hard not to get up and heat my leftovers for breakfast.

I'm showing much restraint!

PS: restraint is my new word of the year: cause my taxes paid out and I just moved it all over to savings. I'm gonna forget its there! retraint........

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Warnings on the Side...of the bottle

Since living GF is not always possible (damn contamination!) I sometimes find myself swollen and in serious pain from my stomach thing. So I have to crawl into the bathroom closet (or purse, which ever is closer) and dig out my tummy pills. Which are half pain pills, which make me looooooooooooooooopy.

Normally they make me seriously sleepy, 98% assurance that I'll be asleep within 20 minutes of swallowing that little blue pill. Tonight, the pink elephants are dancing and they are so freaking loud. Rude bast*ards.

Turns out you should not take on empty stomach. Says the little know it all sticker on side of bottle. Psh....like people actually read those.

Now these are the same pills I've taken for over a year now in situations like these, but apparently never before have I forgotten to eat first.

Princess offered to put me to bed, but now I'm stuck waiting up with my eyes propped up on toothpicks until they fall asleep. Cause I just can't crash until I know they are out.

But it's obvious that loooooooooopy agrees with me. Just nailed some homework and cleaned out my fridge. Tomorrow I'm wondering if I'll find that my homework is written in Latin and the milk is in the dishwasher.

Putting myself to bed. Looooooopy and all.

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Cooking GF...life lessons

Does this look gross? Cause my kids are tearing the kitchen up looking for more, too bad I ate the last piece hiding in the bathroom.

Turns out that gluten-free bread sucks. Seriously sucks, unless you decorate it. I had the brilliant idea for a yummy treat (OKay found a good recipe online and figured I could use my GF bread to make it). So I whipped out the rosemary, garlic salt, cheese sticks and butter to slather up my GF bread and broil that baby up good.

Now what to make to go with the bread, cause you can't just eat bread for dinner. Even yummy cheesy bread. Good parenting it is not.

So I threw together my homemade sauce....

Added some rice fettuccine......

Oh my heavens, pardon me for making a pig of myself but damn that was good.

Lesson learned: GF bread can be broiled or toasted with just about anything to make it edible.

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Not Done Yet....

I'm exhausted, weary and about ready to beat my head on the wall but I'm still here.

What the hell ever possessed me to take accounting 2 along with pyschology?

Week 2 is over. I had two pysch papers, a 19 question set of stocks/bonds homework, a math quiz, six discussion questions and had to proof three student's papers.

Wanta know about the evolution of gender roles? Ask me. I'll email you my paper. I got 100%. Curious about the use of hindsight bias in everyday life? Ditto..... Need to know whether your current stocks were presented to you correctly (cause you can actually have a stated rate of 8% interest growth and then receive anything beneath it, did you know that?) Have a question about the difference between contributed capital and retained earnings? I'm your girl, got a 95% on that b*tch.

So the cost of the above?

Another patch of gray hair, I haven't shaved my legs in WEEKS. My children can know give you a rundown on the various brain functions (they quiz me) and I waited till today to shop for Thanksgiving.

Work is hectic but good.

So we're hosting Thanksgiving dinner (or supper for those of us from the South) for friends and my beloved mommy. We'll have a full house. The house that is currently filthy. I have to scrub bathrooms and then move outward. I did manage to pick up all the butts that scattered across my backyard when the wind caught my buttcan. Cause hello.....white trash.

(Speaking of white trash, the rednecks with the 14 broke down vehicles and dirty little nakid kids and the dog that bit Duchess, MOVED last week. Yep, in the middle of the night. Nothing left but beer cans and dog turds in that front yard. It's a beautiful thing peeps!)

Among other news I haven't made the time to share. My photo-elusive step-dad is at his hunting camp for the season. He's killed 7. His limit is 4. This is why he's my hero. If you own it, they can't force you to follow no stinking laws! Go dad go. I need some Gluten Free deer sausage! Now if only he'd hit up those cemetaries and get me some iron fencing for my yard. Sigh.

Nanny made it safely home. I miss her already. I can't wait for her next visit. Gonna take more time off and spoil her rotten.

We are deep frying our turkey this year. The Man is prepping his contraption that will accomplish this now. In the past 1.5 hours, we've made great strides on Thanksgiving supper for tomorrow.

Since I wasn't smart enough to buy a house with a double oven......we're batch cooking.

Regular not Gluten Free dressing (stuffing to you yanks) is in the oven. This is my only consection to everyone else, I'm a giver that way. The birds are marinating. The eggs are boiled and ready for deviling, cause I can devil like you wouldn't believe (the secret is bacon!) The sweet potatoes are ready and in the fridge. The GF version of CG's beloved carrot cake is in process, having already been vetted by this family earlier this week. Yum! I'm prepping the GF pie crust as well.

My slaves, I mean my kids have passed out on the couch. Good little kitchen soldiers. The Man has even cleaned the garage for the holiday occassion. OMGosh, just have to share this: the reason I think he caved and cleaned it is not because company is coming. It's because I'm incapacitated currently due to a garage accident.

So I wear high heels every workday. No exceptions. Rain? Snow? yep, even then. I'm talented like that. So the other day we rushed home after karate and peeps, I just had to get inside and run out the backdoor and hide for a smoke. It had been that kind of day. So I was herding kids and as usual, dragging my briefcase, purse, lunchbox, my coat, their coats and keys, cause The Man has this horrible habit of locking the door between the house and garage. Geez. So instead of backing in like I normally do, I nosed in and packed up like the mule that I am. Coming running around the trunk of the car, heading for the home stetch I stepped in one of the many stacks of crap along the garage wall. Landing my high heel in a plastic kids' bike helmet. My heel actually stuck in the top of it throwing me off balance and I skidded a few steps before pitching backwards. I threw everything and landed on my butt, pulling a groin muscle in the process.

Me = not happy camper....... hence my garage got cleaned today.

The only thing exciting that happened this week otherwise was Murphy eating my carpet. But that's another story, for next time. More to come.......

Happy happy Thanksgiving peeps. Count your blessings!

And forgive my purge, but I promise to make more time!!!

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From Heaven to You

It's not P-Dub so don't expect too much in the way of cooking photos, but for those of you interested, I've documented my super duper granola recipe today.

Since going Gluten-Free, I've had a hard time finding snacks so in desparation for sweet morning foods, I scoured the internet for the perfect recipe. And after the first batch, I revamped it and made my own.

Which rocks, if The Man and the girls are asked.

Start with the ingredients.
Gluten-Free oats (sold with it marked on top, usually at a organic store but my local grocery actually carries a teeny tiny GF section), banana chips (optional), carmel bits (optional), nuts, honey, peanut butter, vanilla, brown sugar, chocolate chips (high quality chocolate is GF)) and cooking spray. (I really like Great Value - Walmart brands as they list ALL their products either Gluten-Free or Wheat included). Globe is optional, I personally think it adds texture.

So first you take 2 cups of oats and 1 cup of nuts and toast them in an oven at 400 degrees. Till toasty, once the oven is preheated it is less than 10 minutes, watch them closely as The Man has had to dispose of two separate trays of burnt oats........ :) I'm not a perfect cook.

This is nice and toasty looking oats. Perfecto!
Sit them aside and reseat your oven to 350 degrees. While that is resetting, in a very old saucepan, mix half a cup of honey with 1/4 cup of brown sugar.......to make the goop. The mix that will hold it all together.
While that is mixing, keep stiring it and then spray your equally old stained but clean pan with cooking spray.
You should have a roaring bowl that looks all foamy when your goop is ready. At this point add 1/3 teaspoon (or just a generous tip of the bottle) into the pan and remove from heat. Give it a quick stir and take off stove.
Our it into a bowl and then mix in half a cup of peanut butter, briskly stir and when the goop becomes very thick........

Toss in the oats and nuts.......mix well as it's best mixed when hot. Coat all the oats/nuts well.
Chop your banana chips into small pieces.......
Add marshmellows if you're my children, and carmel bits.......oh yum, very healthy
When coat with the hot oat mixture........cover well
Once completely covered..........

Mush into place...........
Sprinkle with chocolate chips and then throw it in the oven..........
Have a snack while you're waiting..............
Check the mixture.........it should be slightly golden brown and chocolate melted.........about 5 minutes
Then take it out and let slightly cool before you cut into bars. Then toss it into a ziplock bag and keep in the fridge. No preservatives means it will go badly very quickly.

Enjoy! We make this is vast quantities and often the past month.

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Gluten Free Cooking- Take 1

We're learning the hard way on this whole GF thing. However, I must say I would be a lost babe in the woods without my ready made mixes. These little bags that cost as much as pure gold are saving my bacon. Literally, saving me from a life of eating nothing but bacon....

Attempt 1 at normal eating was GF pancakes. These bad boys come out thick and are much better warm than room temp. But man oh man, everyone raved about them. The kids couldn't tell at all that they weren't wheat products.

This inspired me to get creative......with my own recipe for granola. Which I let cook a little too long cause I was reading the latest JD Robb book. Dang. But still, which chocolate chips and nuts, OMG hello sugar. I seriously went through this pan (with help!) in two days. I've bought dried cranberries for the next batch. Costco granola move over, there's a new sheriff in town.

I'm moving beyond just specific GF foods too. I'm going through my cookbooks and pulling recipes that are naturally gluten free. Like steaks, kabobs, fresh green beans sauted with bacon, asparagus wrapped in bacon....are you seeing a common theme.....toss in bacon and I'm there.

Also, how about some boiled shrimp.....

This was the left overs. Hello love, how are you? I did some serious pigging last night on these bad boys. Then I curled up in bed holding my tummy groaning.....The Man brought in my tummy meds and was all sympathic until I confessed that I just ate too much....then he made me go outside and rake some more. Damn back yard.
Bread is the largest challenge. Witness the first attempt at GF bread in my bread maker....not impressive at all. It tasted about the same as the Madden shoe box that my new red shoes came in. It was a miserable failure. Moving on.......
It also failed the sniff test. So I gave up on having sandwiches for awhile.
But I had this brand new breadmaker so I needed to use it............enter banana bread. Which turned out so good, it was gone before the night was over. Burp. I've redeemed myself in the bread department.

Next up this week: My menu.....

Monday: BBQ ribs (with naturally GF BBQ sauce - Bull's Eye, Lawry's seasonings), french fries and roasted veggies.

Tuesday: Eating at a work function, crossing my fingers that there will be food there I can eat.

Wed: Flank steak on the Grill in a soy sauce marinade (Great Value -Walmart's brand is GF) with corn on the cob and a side salad.

Thur: Pizza (Gillian's GF pizza crust) with coleslaw on the side

Fri: Meatloaf (Heinz if GF, as are the Gillian's bread crumbs), smashed potatoes and salad

Sat: Red beans and rice (cajun style) with a side of GF garlic bread.

Sun: Pot roast with rice, black eyed peas and steamed veggies.

I'm hoping by working out a weekly menu ahead of time, there'll be less panic when I get home from work with two tired kids and a hungry husband.

Send GF recipe ideas this way!!!!!!!!! I'm living on potatoes, meat and rice!

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Do You Smell Fish?

The Man and I have been on a Gluten Free quest. Recipes, recipes and more recipes......oh my. So far, the girlies haven't noticed at all that there is no gluten in the house......I'm not saying a word. Plus they still get wonder bread and hotdog buns so I honestly can't see them complain.

So Saturday evening, we had planned a special fish dinner. Now, me and fish? We go one way. Southern fried catfish or fried/boiled/scampi shrimp. That is it. The End.

Except, being GF means opening the door to proteins, lean proteins. Open door, enter fish.

I won't lie and say I wasn't scared. Cause I'm picky and it's not fried. But The Man found this recipe and being a spinach lover, he was ready to try it.

Then we got the call that company was coming.....opps, sorry but we're having grilled fish. Their response, no prob, what can we bring? Oh, seems not everyone is as picky about their fish as me. Okay. Freaks.

It started with tilapia fillets (2 freaking lbs of the stuff) and alot of ingredients that I needed to stock my new kitchen with anyway. Balsamic vinegar? Ohhhhhh yeah, who doesn't keep that on hand. So after a quick trip to the store, I was ready.

We followed a recipe we found off of this woman's incredible site. OMG, I wonder if she needs a new best friend.......cause hi, I'm right here? Can I have cooking lessons too?

So off we went......

Okay this looks great.......(enter fake yum here?) But yeah, the grill is great.......so I had hopes. Plus the topping was smelling and looking so great. I was getting a contact high. (****note for my mother: use of wording "contact high" is soley learned from movies.....I have NEVER used drugs of any kind. I'm the good child. And I really want that pie safe. Waiting till you die just won't work for me. Amen)

So that recipe, yeah baby, look at what came off my grill........I'd show you pictures of it on my pretty square plates, but noone would stop eating to let me.

This challenge is getting run. Next up? Roasting asparagus........heaven help me. I hate asparagus but I'm gonna make myself eat it, cause I'm tired of potatoes.

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Starting Over Again.....

Hi I'm Hope4Grace and I'm an addict. I'm addicted to meat, potatoes, anything fried. In fact, my favorite food of all times is fried foods. Yum.....there is just something about fried catfish, or fried chicken or fried mushrooms or fried okra.....omg stop me now.




However, due to some medical problems, I'm having to learn to eat another way. Gluten-free. When my doc told me this, my first response was "fine, I'll just cut out gluten", I didn't stop to ponder why he looked at me with such pity.



Now I know.....gluten-free = no wheat, rye, barley.....................

Farking great! Let me tell you. For the past month, I've been the gauntlet. I've sat at home in front of my open fridge wondering what I could eat that wouldn't make me sick. Ditto on the pantry.

For a solid week I existed only on hashbrowns I made myself and bacon. During that week, I did my homework. Then The Man and I decided the best thing to do was set up the house as mostly GF with exceptions: The Man and kids would keep regular bread for sandwiches and some quick fry foods in the freezer. Everything else, GF. I just heart him to pieces for that, that he is onboard before we even knew what the hell we're dealing with. Plus it helped that I asked him to take the girls and go out to eat someone totally not GF at least twice a month........I'll stay at home and eat a rice cake.



The Man took me to B&N and sat me down in a comfy chair in the cookbook section. Somewhere I never go, cause hello.........slutty, dirty romance novels are on the other side of the store.... But he sat me down and proceeded to bring every Gluten-Free (here on out refered to as GF) book/cookbook he could find. I had quite the stack.



I started with :
and then worked my way through cookbook after cookbook until I found three that I felt I could use. When you take the processed foods out of your diet, your cooking times get a little long. Let me tell you.

So the southern girl who loves her some fried sh*t, is starting over.........literally. I'm learning how to cook all over again. I have a learning curve though, The Man has become as fanatical about as I have. We're the scouting, cooking team.

Yesterday we spent three hours at our local grocery store looking for GF foods. I found some cereal.........thank you Rice CHEX! I heart you alot! I found oatmeal in the tiny teeny GF section (you'd be surprised at how many stores have GF sections, you'd never notice them until you needed them) so tonight I'm making oatmeal cookies. We found chicken broth, some frozen dinners, chips, salsa, non-wheat flour for baking........we literally hit the gold mine. So far, this is the most we've found and we were celebrating in the aisle!

So here is my first real all GF dinner.........

I named them chicken pockets.......so when The Man called on his way home from a class and said, "what's for dinner?" I said.......chicken pockets and he asked if he could stop at McD's....har har.......

So I make a "chicken pocket" bar on my bar at home.......everyone got foil packets and they could fill it up with chicken and veggies, I had stocked up with fresh herbs so I was ready for food that had flavor. Drizzle some olive oil in there and then sit aside.......it was time to light the grill.

Now for me, the grill = The Man's territory so I never bother with it. Except I needed these babies grilled.........so I braved it


First off, what a nasty, unflattering picture of me.......moving on.......Since the backyard is in progress (okay, well it's in the very beginning stage, i.e. planning) we got a little charcoaler since we're waiting to get a natural gas grill once our deck is done. This is a project for another day. Just note that I have NO experience with fire of this nature.

Oh PRETTY! So I got a little flame going. I was so proud of myself.........
Then I had to call The Man cause, um.........do you let it burn with the lid up or lid down? How long? Did I use enough coals? Is it too close to the house? Why does my face feel red? You're how close to the house?

Turns out, he was really close......and he took over.......and in between making fun of my chicken pockets and my grilling experience, managed to get it done.
Now doesn't that look just yummy? Served with a side of corn and a salad.

Welcome to GF cooking people......it's gonna be a bumpy ride.....

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