Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!



Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!

Superheroes

Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this shot...so us....

Duchess

This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public

Princess

My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Friday, March 30, 2012

Even My Panties are on Vacation

So after two full days of air travel, we finally got to Texas. My daddy is recovering my neck surgery poor thing so we are here in full support. Basically to entertain him, lol. But the flights, good lord.....

First off, we had a roughneck try and bully Princess from her aisle seat into a window seat. He met the mama bear and the airline put his ass in a different part of the plane. Like I'm gonna let my 13 year old daughter move between a huge guy and a window where I can't see her. Please, I flipped my shit.

Then waiting to board one of our six flights, we were crowded into a terminal like sardines. Fun times. Except Princess was trying to pull her ipod out of her carryone, and managed to pull it up over her head to yank free her headphones. She somehow slammed her ipod right into this dude's face. He was standing right behind us and was apparently like 6'6. Right to the nose shot! Poor guy laughed it off and promised to get out of her bubble if she'd not hurt him again.

Which worked, Duchess was settling into her middle seat, and kept handing me her carry on. Which I kept handing back. So she stands up and slams the carryon on the top of the seat in front of her to steady herself before trying to shove it under the seat. The same guy Princess whacked. He turns around and with a big smile says "they you are, I was wondering". Poor Duchess about melted through the floor. lol.

Deplaning, he stopped us to wish us a good trip. Poor bastard.

But as we hit Texas ground and met up with my momma, who my kids were hanging off like decorations on her cajun tree.... I laid out on the tile. I was exhausted. I hate flying, it's official. I really really hate flying.

I hate airports too, cause when that plane finally burped up my luggage I was sitting back a ways with mom while Princess was stalking the line. And when I saw her mobilize, and then saw a ton of other people bending over and handing her brightly colored things...... well I kinda figured that things were going downhill. Aaaaaaaaand I was right, cause SOMEHOW my zipper busted and all my Victoria's Secrets non-secrets were spilt all over everyone else's luggage. Those and my cowboy boots had jumped ship out of my bag and was running around and around.

Seriously, this shit only happens to me.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

On Texas ground

Yeah baby, I'm jet lagged like a murther.

Leaving on an airplane, again....

So for the second day in a row, I'm sitting in an airport. We had a last minute trip to Montana to be with Dave, we returned yesterday. Flying into the nearest International airport at 8 pm ish. Then we shuttled to a hotel nearby, I busted out a 1050 word essay for my class, emailed it in before midnight making my deadline. We took quick baths, grabbed burgers to go from a nearby deli that was closing and then crashed hard.

We were up at 345 am. Packed up and on the shuttle by 430 am. We made the airport and jumped back on the parking bus to switch out our bags in the truck, then back to the terminal for check in. We managed to get checked in, feed Princess who is an absolute beast if she don't eat and now we're sitting watching cartoons at our gate.

We have a long flight back to the motherland today. We're going home to visit my family for spring break.

Change is once again on the horizon, but more on that later. For now, I gotta make a powder room run cause I hate airplane pottys. Yuck, be my luck I'll get stucked down the toliet. Cause I've already fell on the escalator this morning, not gonna push my luck.

More soon, with pics!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Chillin in Montana

I do like Daves taste in hotels.... Big tubs! Tomorrow we head for Texas, family time!!!!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Montana

So we are spending the weekend in Montana with Dave.... doing something I'm not even ready to talk about. But I'll be getting around to it soon in the future. But man, it's so crazy up here. It's beautiful. The land between cities and towns, it looks like 100 years ago. The land is beautiful, so many areas is unspoiled. The cattle is sometimes the only thing you can see as far as the eye can see. So gorgeous.

We've visited his work site here. We've driven everywhere in the surrounding 100 mile radius. We've bowled (duchess won, damn bumpers). We've eatten all over town (s). We've gotten out and I rolled under a barb wire fence so I could walk all over a 40 acre plot of land that is just too absolutely beautiful for words. We've met the people working here. We've found a gluten free bakery that makes the best chocolate peanut butter cupcakes (oh lord help me, I need to run more). We watched alot of animal planet in a hotel room. And tomorrow, we're driving to Canada.

Next week, so ready for our Texas visit.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Griswald Packing?

Packing my carryon:

phone/gps/ipod/embiblical cord - check
bestseller slutty novel - check
homework, reference materials for paper - check
laptop and cords - check
coca cola lipgloss - check
earplugs - check
paper for paper airplanes - check
socks and chonies (gotta give those bag searchers something to gawk at) - check
tummy pills - check
headache pills - check
Victoria Secret lotion - check
pens and note - check


Suitcase:

Pair cowboy boots
Pair running shoes
Pair of booty shorts to work out in
One hoodie
Three long sleeve shirt
Four pairs VS lounge pants
Two pairs jeans
toothbrush
powder/lipstick
socks/chonies

I'm really a simple girl and it don't take much for me to live on for two weeks, lol. One carryone (no purse) and one bag.

Yeah baby.

Now my kids, good lord, I'm gonna have to sort through this mess.

All my bags are packed.....

Because we Griswald the utter shit out of everything, we have trips in two weeks starting tomorrow. In the morning, my sweet babies and I are heading to the utter wilds of North country just miles from the Canadian border to visit my studly husband. ;) Haven't seen the boy in weeks, it's time.

Almost a week with him and then I'm going right on to Texas!

It's gonna be fun up in here. Pics and updates will be posted via my cell so expect some Griswald-ing soon.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

And Here We Go..... Again

I'm packing baby. The babies have spring break coming up and we are Texas bound!!!!! I'm gonna go get some family on me. It'll be so good to wrap my arms around my momma and squeeze! I'm ready to sit next to my daddy and lean my head on his shoulder watching some violent thing on tv.

Spring is coming to the mountains of Idaho. We got a little mini-blizzard and it was nasty but melted promptly like a good little blizzard does. So the sage is beautiful and blowing in the breeze but stil no sign of green grass (the golf course doesn't count) and pretty little flowers.

And with spring comes eternal change. God's good and frankly you never know what he's got up his sleeve. ;)

Monday, March 19, 2012

I'll Be That Parent

So my sweet eldest is learning the joys of middle school.... the drama little girls stir up. It's not just in Texas, it's a fact of life everywhere. People watch your kids and get up in their life... do not turn over control to a teen! I'm so far up her tush, that seriously it'll be years before I'm ever her friend and not her pain in the ass mom. But that is okay, means I'm doing my job.

And tonight, after wasting my breath, reassuring her that she can just be an individual and stand apart from the drama her little friends and their groups stir up.... I just reminded her that if it gets to the point where she has to make a stand, well I'd pick her up from school and take her for an ice cream if it got too bad. Cause I distinctly remember being sent home from school once in the midst of such drama where I finally told several people to "f*ck off" at the top of my lungs. My momma didn't lecture, just scooped me up some ice cream and poured coke over the top, then joined me.

Life is too short to conform.

F*ck'em.

And I Giggled, alot...

Life is busy. I'm a mom whose husband travels alot right now so I have my hands full with raising two kids, keeping them from beating the hell out of each other in a restaurant after church (today), keeping up on their lives, friends, social engagements and grades. I'm very hands on. I'm doing my dream job right now (if you don't count the farking laundry, geez).

I laugh, don't get me wrong... but noone and I do mean noone makes me giggle but Dave. I hate it and I love it all at the same time. I'm too old to giggle and blush like a kid, but somehow I manage and he freaking has to point it out each and every time. I should lose IQ points for that really. He's swamped and juggling two different positions at work right now and I'm juggling our life... so we talk alot but some nights we just talk and talk and talk and it gets silly. And I giggle. And when I do, I feel like 20 lbs are lifted off my shoulders.

I love the hell out of my guy. He's a 10 and yeah he's right.... there are few things in life that are a 10.

I'm a happy person by nature I think, but I'm happier now than I have been in a very long time. Maybe all the ingredients are there, who knows why... but I'm keeping it.

So when my friends send me completely inappropriate texts and I burst out laughing in the pharmacy line where everyone turns and stares like I'm an idiot (today), or when the kids and I go see a local production of Grease and during intermission, Princess grabs my hand and jerks me out of my seat and we jitterbug in front of 300 people to the oldies music blaring (last week), or even when I fall down and hurt myself and make my friend pee her pants laughing at me (last week)... I laugh alot and loudly.

But he gets the giggles.

10!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Song Memory #47

Watching a movie with the girls (duh new Footloose) and there's a cute song "Fake ID". It's country hip/hop cute. But the lyrics, hysterical. Cause it's my song memory #47. You see once upon a time... there was a concert near my hometown that I was dying to go see. Problem was.... I was underage to get into the facility. Another problem.... it was in a GASP**** BAR *****GASP. My moral Southern Baptist upbringing was in direct conflict with being inside a bar.

Now let's be real for about four point three seconds.... now I'm a grown girl, I know that praying on Friday for the things a body would do on Saturday night then show up in the congregation on Sunday morning is also in the doctrine, lol.

But back then, I was half convinced that God would strike me dead for crossing the threshold of a BAR. However, I seriously wanted to go to this concert. So since back in the boonies of my home turf, there wasn't such things as Fake ID's, we had to resort to Duplicate ID's. Meaning you found someone a little older (legal age) than you who resembled you.... and they "lost" their license and got a dup. You paid them the cost of the dup and bingo, you had an ID. I'm sure it don't work this way anymore but hell I'm old, so there you go.

So I borrowed such an ID from a friend. We shared the same hair color, close enough. So I compromised that night.... since I was going to a BAR, I wore a turtleneck, appropriate jeans, and boots. Heaven forbid I get caught by somebody my momma knew at a BAR looking trashy.... yeah didn't think that through so much huh? But I used my "fake ID" that night to see David Allen Coe in concert. He was hysterical. And drunk.... which means it was a great show. I'm completely convinced that the man sober would be a horrible show.

That said, this is why I'll be accompanying my girls to concerts they want to see... head things off at the pass. lol.....

Oh and for the record, I was home by 11 pm that night. Cause I'm a good girl and all.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Sniper Reporting for Duty

Today was so damn fun, I'm sore all over and I really could care less. Being that my kids are on a four day school week, Friday's are usually our ski day. So we got up at the butt crack of dawn and headed up to the lodge with my girlfriend and her kid in tow. (Beach chairs included) Except, we get there and it's bad. The snow has really started melting and the slopes are icy patches. There is no way I'm letting my kiddos, both beginners, try and manuever around that mess. So we put the kabosh on skiing today. I guess their season is over.

So in full ski gear, we head into town instead since we were already more than half way there. Fun stuff! We looked around a few stores, then used a bathroom to strip out of some of our layers before heading to an arcade. It was empty since town kids have a normal 5 day school schedule, suckers! So we all decided to play some laser tag.

Now you know I love guns right? However, I have never played laser tag. All the kids have though, lucky ducks. So not fair! So me and C decide it'll be moms verses kids. Three on two, that sounds about fair right? Especially since neither one of the said two have ever played. So we watched the tv, we listened to the instructions, we got fitted with the little cute vests and thrown into a huge two story room.

We were red, the kids were blue. It was panadmonium! The kids immediately scattered like geese leaving me and C there staring at each other. We shrugged and each headed in opposite directions. Turns out laser tag is very much set up like some of the military firearm drills and when I worked with the military a long time ago, I got to do one of them with a few of the other office punks. It was a blast. So I quickly figured out the whole duck, cover, sweep and run thing.

We nailed those kids. Those trash talking little girls that we love so much never had a chance. Between me and C, we won all four rounds plus either one of us was the highest point winner in each match.

Now, have you ever played laser tag in snow boots, ski pants and a sweatshirt? I lost 20 lbs in there I swear. I was dripping with sweat. It didn't help that my ski pants are white. When the black lights came on, I was lite up like a Christmas tree. Which means I had to run and run alot. My kids are evil! So evil that running from Princess, I did a face plant on one of the ramp since you have to hold the gun with two hands. I managed to keep hold of the gun and zap her on my way down.... my face is so freaking sore! But I managed to drag my old ass into a corner to recouperate while still zapping another kid.

Highlight of the entire trip?

C was more shock and awe while I was sneaky in strategy. So when C got stuck between the two teens who were zapping the crap out of her, she screams over the music for me asking where I was... ummmm you don't give away your position dude! So on my way to her, she suddenly starts yelling ABORT ABORT ABORT and I took off in another direction. Then while I'm sweeping a corner I hear her scream "I'm a total badass" and all the kids go running past me with her chasing them. It was surreal, kinda like Rambette.

Even funnier when she confessed to pee-ing herself a little at that point, lol. Holy crap, how do I find such awesome friends? I seriously have the market on good friends.

And next week, I'm wearing black head to toe....... cause it's on baby!

Code name: sniper

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

At Least I'm Not Stuck in a Thai Prision

When things are hectic and insane, I have a little habit of reminding myself that at least I'm not stuck in a thai prision with a purple bra strapped over my shirt singing "Like A Virgin". Cause that just strikes me as rock bottom. Cause #1 I really dislike Madonna and #2 you wouldn't catch my ass wearing a purple bra.... finally #3 there is no way in hell I'd ever go willingly to Thailand. I'm more of a carribean dreaming kind of girl although I kinda have a sneaky suspicion that Dave will wind up talking me into cruising to Alaska to bear watch in a parka before I get a chance to stroll my ass stuffed in a bikini on a hawt beach somewhere along with southern hemisphere. Fun times but that seems to be my life. And frankly, I have a serious problem saying no to Dave so yeah I can so seeing that happening.

Anywho, baring a pervvy stay in a Thai prision this day could really just end now allowing for some much needed sleep. The last two days have been a sleepless wandering around the house event, poor Murphy is exhausted as he has a habit of following me around the house after dark, he worries about mommy. Which means, he ain't sleeping either.... well he's catching up on his during the day whereas I'm SOL.

This morning was fun, the kids got to sleep in a little. We then headed into the larger city, nice drive in the rain... the kids had their ortho consults today. Poor Princess has it the worst, but even hers isn't as bad as I thought. She's getting braces next month for a fun filled 18 month ride. Although she should enter high school ready to go smile wise. Duchess is simply needing an extender and then a retainer so she got off the luckiest. Me? I'm exhausted from the whole process although I totally love the doc and his wife, so sweet and from TEXAS no less. I'm apparently collecting Texans whereever I go.

Now I'm sitting here reviewing notes and my syllabus for my new class. International Business. Yeah baby. No less than six papers plus course/class work. First paper due next week, I'm starting it tonight. I have this thing where I have to be a week ahead in my school or else I freaking-the-OCD-out. I'm weird. I know this. It's okay too, I'm comfortable with myself. But yeah, this is gonna be a challenge.

So good lord, even though it's crazy as usual around here.... it could be worse..... Madonna, yuck.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Mischief

I have time on my hands now that I'm happily at home. So I exercise, I dance in my undies to my loud ass inappropriate music (thank goodness we live in the boonies), I research recipes and work on new gluten free recipes, I clean my house and do projects, I paint horrible artwork, I keep my legs shaved, and I send inappropriate texts to my friends pretty much all day.

But recently I had the opportunity to do a little MORE. Last Friday on our usual skiing expedition, the kids were out happily eatting up the last of the season's snow. Me? Well I was hanging out with my Idaho friend. I was adopted by a quirky funny as shit chick when I moved here. Her kiddo was instrumental in helping Princess feel at home the first week and well it was over as soon as she sent me a text that read: "need your facebook addy, want to stalk you before I invite your kid over"... I mean really, how can you not appreciate the utter honesty? She, like alot of my good but few friends, know to pull, yank and blackmail me to get out of the house often even if I am kidnapped in my jammies. So it shouldn't surprise you when I say that we were rednecking at the ski lodge. See off to the side of the bunny hill there is a ridge where you back your truck or jeep in if you're smart, the kids can literally ski right up to your feet. So there we were all camped out. We had our beach chairs (yeah shut up, they were perfect for the beach in Texas), a cooler of food for the kiddos, drinks stuck around us in the snow to stay cold. Blankets for the kids and best of all, the back hatch of my jeep open and pandora blaring music. The other people were just jealous that we thought of it first, lol. (I'm so sure that's what they thought, lol).

 The "incident" occured midmorning when it hit above 30 and the sun was shining. See beach chairs don't do well on ice and the snow was quickly becoming ice in the area around us. Since I had been firmly planted in my seat, my chair was sunk down a little. Keeping me stationary. However my girl over there had gotten up several times to move her chair around to try and get some sun. Snicker. So she finally plants herself and then it happened. Her chair starts sliding in the middle of her talking. She slid about 3 feet and wound up next to me begging for help to get out of the low sitting beach chair. I instead grabbed the video camera. I suck.

I video tapped her entire journey to finally crawl out of the chair as it threatened to slide down the mountain with her in it. I was laughing and snorting the entire time. I really suck.

Even better, I brought it home and editted it. Slow-mo-ing some of the best parts...... and added "Bad to the Bone" as the theme intro music.

It's gotten 53 hits on youtube since I posted it already. And it's set to private, LMAO.

I truly suck. ;)

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Run of the Mill Average Griswald Week

So the snow has disappeared and unless my neighbor is wrong, spring is on the way. Huh.... guess I wasn't expecting it this soon, (not gonna hold my breath just yet though). So this week has been super busy and I can't really pinpoint why but okay.....

So we had a shopping trip to the nearest REAL MALL, which was two hours away. Thank goodness for Panadora....... that is all I'll say about that roadtrip!

 It appears that Duchess has inherited my "tshirt fetish", she picked out some hysterical ones! She's growing so dang fast!

 The kids and I went to see a local production of Grease. It was adorable and the kids did a great job with the material, keeping it "appropriate for school aged children" .... Shown above is Grease Lighting.

 We skiied as usual. Except with the sunshine and the 50 degree weather, we all ended up sunburnt, can you tell where Duchess' goggles stopped on her little face. Poor thing.

 Murphy has been that doggie for sale in the window lately. The birds are out in full force meaning that the dog has been a constant in every window in the house.

 We bought tickets to fly home to Texas to spend Spring Break with my momma and daddy! Woohoo, so freaking excited!!!!!!!! The kids were shocked!

 I hung out in the hot springs by myself one afternoon while the kids were in school. Me, my soda, and my book. Heaven!

So hi from moi.......... hope you had a great week too. Now I have to go and finish a blackmail video of a friend, I'm adding music and etc........cause I'm THAT friend, yeah....

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I'm Seeing Little Green Men

Lord have mercy I'm exhausted. The first night that Dave is gone on a trip, I don't sleep. Period. I hear crap, I get up and clear my house constantly. My damn gun sees more action on those nights than it does any other time. I am acutely aware that paranoia is the problem, but hey. It's a fact. I don't sleep the first night. So, since I went to town to grocery shop (and buy some new jeans, hawt momma!) I didn't get my nap.

I'm seeing strange things, my head is pounding and I'm so ready for the kids to call it a night.

I need some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Laid Back Idaho Kinda Weekend

So things get pretty chill and relaxed back here in the far, snowy mountains of Idaho. Seriously, we are so far removed from any kind of hustle and bustle that it really isn't funny. "Town" is almost an hour away, snicker.... there is really something to be said for that. My little mountain community is so very laid back and filled with everything from retired hippees that live in a teepee type home they built for themselves (we discovered this on a drive this weekend and recognized their car), to luxury mountain cabins that are tucked in the middle of nowhere for someone to use maybe once a month, and then there are the handful of regular working joes that either grew up here and never left.... or like us, found this little retreat due to a job. While Dave works another 20 miles in another direction in a different little community town (okay, truth... Dave flies to all the different offices but this one down the road is where his perm office is and this place is TINY. Hysterical to have a US corporate office on anything in a community this sized!), he swears it's completely worth the drive to live up in the mountains verses looking at them all the time.

So this weekend was totally laid back........

 Thank goodness the house has plenty of room, cause there is constantly some activity going on. Duchess was in one room on her computer, while watching tv in front of the fireplace in the den. She was googling "world's fattest panda", fun trivia there.

 The teens (Princess and friend) spent most of their time after church holed up in the workout room playing around then outside to toss the softball in the snow. This is where Dave was quizzing them on a math review for tomorrow's test.

 This is what you get for a wrong answer, lol.

 You can't BS the BS-er Princess. Sorry.

 Previously, late night found us all with our head in various forms of electronics. I was reading on my phone, Prin and friend were playing electronic games and facebooking. Dave was looking at trucks online and Duchess was playing math games. We really were all plugged in. lol.

 Dave took us girls for dinner. Little bitty hole in the wall place had the best prime rib I've ever wrapped my tongue around. OMGosh, seriously yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except, since we were eating out, everyone but me decided to partake in dessert. HUGE cinnamon buns and slices of chocolate pie. They suck. Best part, Princess stalking Dave to get at his, lol. She did the stick the finger in and run technique.

 See, she's totally stalking her prey.

 Duchess is addicted to "Stupid Vampires" a blood and guts shootem game for Droid. Yeah, we are those parents, suck it up. And when she complained about it being a hard level, Dave takes over. She is supervising. lol.

 Hello sleepy man, coffee is on the way.

 And since we pretty much had the place to ourselves, Princess decided to get a sneak attack in on Dave, well that didn't work out so much. They were wrestling in the restaurant. Seriously, I can't take them anywhere......

 See the deer? They were hanging out by my house again. Seriously, I need a commercial walk-in freezer. That way I can just coax or lead them buggers straight in.

 Out driving on our mountain. That is our canyon through the trees. So pretty. We were up about 6600 feet at this point. Prin was shopping in town with a friends family, so Duchess, Dave and I took Murphy to look at the pretty snow and gorgeous trees. I think the man was secretly looking at plots of land too but I'm ignoring that.

 This is the point where "winter maintenance" is discontinued and unless you have snowmobile you couldn't go any further. Since we were already in 4x4, we had to halt and go back.

Still with snow drifts as tall as my jeep. It's gorgeous country and a perfect country ride for a lazy weekend. :)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

My man....

I just wear him out, he needs a Saturday nap to keep up ;)

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Honey I'm Home

Wellllll, Google pulled their heads out! I'm baaaaaaack babbee. And just for a little treat, how about some H4G embarrassing moments, me and my man having some fun while cooking dinner tonight.

video