So once again, I have managed to make myself the talk of the neighborhood.
Yesterday was just pure hell, let's start there, that will help you understand my frame of mind. I was the only exec admin on staff (for two days mind you) the others were on vacation, they suck! We had temps covering phones and other little stuff but everything else was on me. I was like a tornado through the office. Dropping things off, arranging travel, setting meetings, talking to lawyers about contracts, oh and reading my email. All that important stuff that I normally do for seven really nice men, it usually keeps me pretty busy. Except now, I was doing it for 30 people. Pass the pipe.
The game plan was that since my mom is back in town, she'd pick up the girls (cause she missed them, and they missed her, take them please...they want their Mims, probably has nothing to do with the fact that there is always chocolate at your house either) and take them home with her for dinner and I'd swing by around oh say 7 and pick them up. Since The Man is working, that means I'd have some Hope4Grace time. Woohoo........2 hours of quiet bliss, to be honest, I was gonna take a nap. I really needed a nap.
Instead at 4 I get a call that my mom's car has given up the ghost and she is about a mile from my house but still 8 miles from the girls after school care. Crap. When the call came in, I was on one line rationally talking to our lawyer, had another line on hold from where I was yelling at the American Express lady and there was somebody sitting in a chair at my desk, patiently waiting their turn. My poor mom was ready to shoot her car, seriously she packs. But there was nothing I could do, except call and wake up the sleeping Man early and beg him to fix it. Whatever it is, just fix it. He got up and called my mom, told her don't shoot the car or light it on fire, he was on his way.
So I'm working and trying to get things ironed out so I can leave for the day when I get the call. The car isn't getting gas. He had to push it to my garage with his truck, truck 1 - car 0. So he took my mom to pick up the kids while I rush home to make him something to eat and pack his lunch. It's a whirlwind on any given day we both work but yesterday was nut insane.
So after much back and forth, we get him fed (left over stuffed salmon, am I the woman or what?) and then I pack his lunch fresh out of the crockpot, potroast with yummy garlic potatoes and a huge salad with pepperonis. Then it's time for his carpool to arrive, it's his week to drive. So in between hugging my mom, yelling at my kids that they could still have pizza, saved from her car, and try and get him out the door. Oh and I believe I was also unloading the dishwasher.
When bam.....he comes running back inside and says, we're taking &&&&&'s truck cause mine won't crank, forgot to tighten the whatchamacallit bolt. Later.
WTF? Two dead vehicles in my driveway, oh the HOA is gonna love this.
So I run after him and notice that his truck IS NOT in the driveway but on the street, here we go people......
I caught him before they drive off and I said if the towtruck shows up do you want me to shoot it? He said no, just the driver. Laughing I waved him off.
Mom, the girls and I had a lovely dinner, we took her home and waved her off.
Upon arriving home, we finally relaxed and got some homework done, the kitchen clean and then all vegged out on my bed. As it neared our bedtime, I realized that since I was unused to parking outside the garage, I'd probably left my car unlocked. So in my pjs, I ran downstairs, grabbed my keys and headed out the front door to beep my locks.
Except parked out on the street was a farking tow truck.......
In a sheer state of panic, because anyone who knows The Man knows that if they'd have towed his truck, he'd have burned the HOA clubhouse to the ground, I rushed next door to my neighbor, who just happens to be the HOA pres.
In my pjs........with furry slippers
Pjs that consist of a low scoop neck tank top and baggy pants that I'm constantly pulling back in place. To the neighbors house, dressed like this.
I banged on his door till he opened it and all I could say in my state of panic was....
"Are you f***ing kidding me?"
He blinked, looked down at my pjs, looked up again swiftly (old fart) reddened and then recognized me for the loony bat that lives next to him.
After a brief conversation he realized that I thought he'd called and was having my husband's truck towed, he actually turned white, even whiter than he was before. The Man has quite a way with words and he's unleased on this poor bastard many of times, so I shouldn't have been surprised.
He killed himself to assure me that he didn't call it, and that most importantly he would never tow anything that belonged to The Man, ever.
At this point, I calmed down enough to actually breathe and the old guy and me stood and watched the tow truck tow away somebodies car out of their driveway. We decided it was a repo. He said he'd have to let the HOA board know about that, I told him it wasn't his business, he told me goodnight.
So I put babies to bed and then with evil delight sent The Man an email at work that was guaranteed to blow his lid and sure enough at 12:30 a.m. I got the call, he was yelling and carrying on, till I explained and then it was the typical, male response......
Today, I'm striving for normal. Let's see how that works for me.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Not on Crack, I promise
