As The Neighborhood Turns.......Again

This past week, The Man and I went to Lowes (my new favorite store, shocker cause they don't sell shoes) and we picked up some stuff for the house. Ideas for our deck, some trees to plant and the outdoor lighting that I couldn't live without.

Well it was while there that The Man's coworker walked up to us in the parking lot to chew the fat. Noticing my trees, baby trees that they are, he asked where we were gonna put those. I explained that it was my goal to put them between us and the neighbor I'm so fond of. And then miracle grow those farkers till they touch the sky. When he asked why I would ever do that....

Well I explained, because they're rednecks.......

He actually stopped and looked at me puzzled......

"But you guys are the biggest rednecks we know"

This is something coming from a guy in shorts, a tank top and boots with a massive farmers tan, standing in the shadow of his gas guzzler with a dog in the back.

"OHHHHH" he says, flashing a huge smile " They must be white trash, them white trashers are such a pain in the butt"

Wow, there are levels of rednecks now?

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Dear Internet,

I tend to lean towards the happy snarky side of life. I really enjoy living with the whole "glass is half full" kinda hippy focus. So it's not often that I share things that aren't snarky and happy, but life is life and well I could use some prayers.

I've battled tummy problems for years and am finally getting the doctor attention that I need, so I must say......in two days, I'll undergo some testing that is much needed. And scares the utter living shit out of me.

So send some happy thoughts my way...

And then go flip off your neighbor....

Then I'll know you're thinking of me.

And by posting this way down, I'll assure myself that noone will read it, then I can actually breath correctly.

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Pssst........

Mr. Sexy Yummy Leather Man,

You forgot to tell me you were giving a free concert in NYC, I would have been there......shame on you!

Your faithful fan,

Hope4Grace

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Duchess gets Active.....

My girls are not as enchanted with our new house as I am. See there is no cable, no satelite, nothing but movies on their tvs. They think it's the work of the devil and as Duchess says we should move, but no it is the work on their mother.

I'm determined that these girls get more active and get more done than just be tv zombies (no offense to those of you parenting tv zombies). In the month that we have been in the new house, with no cable, no satelite and the devil........I've noticed that Princess is reading more of her books. She is also riding her bike through the neighborhood and meeting other kids. Duchess however, is still wandering around the house all sad and lonely, no smurfs, no dragon-tails.....momma what is there to do?

Well since she just started karate this past week full time, The Man decided to show her how to practice at home the moves she was learning in class.
Ignore my dirty house, but I ain't cleaning up jut so I can take a picture. Besides, saturdays are my chill day. Anyway.........she started off showing The Man her new thing, the latest and greatest karate move ever as shown to her by the smartest karate-r in the world.

She actually fell over after she completely that roundhouse..........

After sighing in disgust, The Man jumped into show her the problem spots........boy I need to turn my lights on when I'm shooting inside huh?

The we tried to next logical step, keep your balance and kick the pillow..........but you'll notice that she is holding onto the couch too?

But after almost n hour of instruction and work, my baby did it. She stood straight up and kicked straight ahead, and promptly fell over......
But she got up again, with a smile.........

I'm loving that she has something to go and do each week now. I hate that she'd have to sit in the car with me and wait on Princess to finish with this or that, now she is getting active too.

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WOW~

Attention, attention:

I have managed to fix my html problem and you can know keep up with me via google reader.

Gonna go buy a lottery ticket now....excuse me.

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As The Neighborhood Turns....Episode 2

Why I need a fence......

We bought by neighborhood. Of all the houses, of all the choices, we picked the neighborhood first then went with a house. It worked for me. However, the next house I buy I will ask to go have dinner with each neighbor before I sign the papers. OMG.......

(You know it's bad when the redneck with pearls is going, OMG......)

Since we are on the corner of a T-bone street, we luckily don't have to deal with as many people as most on a daily basis.

The immediate next door neighbor is nice, quiet and both are teachers (well she is a principal and he is a counselor, can you even begin to imagine the talk that goes on in that house?) and we interact with smiles/waves/chitty chat often. Ok, I lie, The Man interacts with chitty chat, I'm the smiler/waver and go on about my businesser. Cause I get paid to be socialable and if I'm off the clock, it's so not your turn. I got sidetracked, sorry. So they have a son and have worked hard to settle into their house. Nice place, well fenced and all. They are already wanting to sale and move. Seems they don't like the renters in the neighborhood and they are sick of all the drama. Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat.

The neighbor behind me is quite a different story. She has four kids and is apparently a single mom, who has another woman living with her (a cousin?) to watch the kids while she works. Their trampoline is broken, her kids constantly bring full bedding in to the backyard to play with and leave it out there for the sprinklers to soak. The screen on her patio door has been run through and her kid called my kid a retard. Princess assures me through neighborhood gossip that the mom got a job in another town and they are hoping to move there soon..........OMG please let them move. Cause I have already kicked them out of my yard four times this week and I'm sooooooo not in the mood to deal with them.

You've already met the little man from down the street too, who we found out is a renter from West Virginia. The neighbors are on a quest to drive him from the hood. They alternate calling the HOA on them. Interesting.......really some of these people must have no hobbies or anything.

Soon I'll have across the street neighbors. Somebody bought and is doing their move in inspection this morning, The Man called me to fill me in. Cross your fingers, I pray that they are cool, have spiked colored hair, listen to alternative country and have 4x4's, oh and the lady of the manor wears pearls.........please let her wear pearls......

The rest of my neighborhood, you ask? Fabulous.........I'm still loving it mucho.

But I so need a backyard fence.

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Settling in the Burbs

Of all the places I've lived, this is the strangest, not just because I'm the oddball either. This place is like heaven sometimes. Winter brings snow upon snow upon snow. Yet summer is relaxing, laid back and peaceful. I live in Pleasantville. Except I'm the naughty one in color.
So my Saturday morning golf fames are coming along, can you tell......hello sandtrap. I just enjoy trying cause it's obvious that my super secret hidden talent is NOT golf. I'm still waiting to find that one thing that I'm awesome at, you know......
Now this, this is my latest obsession. Since purchasing my very own house, I've set about decorating. I have alot of stuff but instead of hanging my precious memories first, I go and hang this first. It reminds me of home. The cajun design and symbols match alot of the stuff in my house. This beautiful piece of iron artwork was my weakness. We passed it in a store and The Man couldn't envision it in my house. Lucky for me, my girlfriend works near the store and after we got home I placed a sneaky call. Pick it up, I have to have it. Seriously the thing wouldn't fit in my trunk but I got it home from her house one afternoon. The Man hung it and then admitted that it fit perfectly.
Mental note to self..........homeowners should remember to turn off sprinklers on rain days. Some idiot left theirs running all day in the downpoor. And they need to trim their grass. I noticed all of this the other day, then promptly ran inside the garage to turn off the sprinklers and write a reminder that we had to cut our grass. This homeowning thing is alot of work, but luckily I'm OCD so I can keep us on task. (just gotta remember to turn my sprinkers back on, dang just realized they've been off for two days!)

Say a prayer for The Man, he's finishing his EMT class for work today, go Man go........who also gets a sweet little golf clap for getting a B+ on his midterm in his Humanities through the Arts class. Poor guy is just having a tough time with this touchy feely class.

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As The Neighborhood Turns....

After the strange neighborhood BBQ, we've actually settled into a nice routine. We wave at our neighbors, they wave at us. This works extremely well for me. No small talk, no drama, no nothing.

So last night after dinner, we decided to walk our girlies down to the park to play. A nice stretch of the legs and they could totally run off some energy before bed. The joys of life people, they are great.

Except when we opened the door to leave, a little girl was there reminding us about Game Night. Oh yeah that little flyer that was stuck in my door several nights ago. Opps. Forgot. So we decided to walk the girls four houses down and check out the action. We met the dad and mom, who were leveling out their tiny side yard to prep for concrete, that whole extra parking space kinda thing. They seemed cool and the kids were only to play in the front yard, so we decided to let the girlies play and we'd go home and do some yard work.

The Man started out mowing while I did what I do best, supervise. Supervise while reading a book and having a ciggie. June Cleaver I'm sooooooo not. Then I felt a little guilty and since he showed me how to use our mower with the propel-ing thing going, I jumped in and helped. He began the weed-eating.

Now ladies, when you and a friend are out doing your evening walk, please remember that if you're both listening to an ipod then when you talk to one another, it's rather loud. So say you're walking by a new neighbor, who just home from work and hasn't had time to change her jewelry or take her hair down from the "work do" but has changed into yoga pants and a tank (all black of course) and you decide to critique her outfit. Chances are good she can hear you OVER the mower. Yeah I mow in my pearls, what about it. And ladies, don't be surprised when you get the finger salute in return. Idiots.

Anywho......we're doing yard work, when Princess runs down the sidewalk yelling for her dad. Not good. The Man, completely in the whole weed-eating zone, turns off the darn thing with a yell, what? Duchess got bit by a dog.

Here's the problem, Duchess is petrified of any dog. Good reason too, she has been bit before. So after tearing down the sidewalk, he catches up to Duchess who is limping her way home, hysterical. Poor baby, she was having a come apart. No skin was broken, but the little bastard took her shoe.

The Man sent her home to me, where I was mowing on the other side of the house, oblivious. So I rushed her in and after seeing the beginnings of a bruise on her foot, I gave her a good bath to wash the dog away and then a popcicle for good measure. She was down to just whimpering. Then I headed out to find my man, cause I don't have bail money set aside right now. I have a yard to finish. And The Man can truly be summed up like this: hot blooded, loyal, tenacious, redneck and physically stronger than any other man I know. All of this = somebody is in trouble.

Sure enough he was on his way home from down the street, red in the face and veins pulsing in his gorgeous forehead (hey, he is still cute when he's furious) and instead of talking to me, starts yanking weeds out of my front flower bed. So I did what any good wife would do....I didn't say a word till he was done weeding my flower bed. Then I asked.

No he didn't kill the dog, thank you Jesus. But he did pick him up and then walk across the street where 5 women were standing and just staring. Finally one of them claimed the dog. The same dog who kept trying to nip The Man while he was holding the darn thing. The Man promised that the next time that dog was out of their yard, he was a goner. Then came home. Cause he doesn't do the whole temper thing with women. So he was just steaming.

After putting the kiddos to bed and assuring Duchess that we'd wait till she was ready to be nice to doggies again before we purchased our very own doggie, we headed out to finish clean up. You know, sweep the driveway off, pick up all the weeds he'd pulled and such. Basically buttoning up our house for the night. The Man was slowly calming down, until he heard the dog down the street barking. That set him off again. If there'd been a man around, he'd have dealt with this crap and this was a nice neighborhood and the other neighbors said that the dog was just daily drama.

Then as the sun was setting, low and behold coming up the street was a man, and an older woman and a baby in arms. And sure as crap, they stopped in our driveway and the man actually looked up almost a foot and introduced himself as the dog owner to The Man.

Now I'm not a tall girl, round yes, but not tall. This poor guy was 5 ft even if he was a day. So it was interesting to look down at someone. Not to mention the fact that The Man at 6 ft was deflating before my eyes. Yep, instead of really giving it to this guy and yelling, The Man just cocked his head and told it how it was. Nicely. The older woman sided over and said that she was the grandmother there and as soon as the little guy had gotten home, she made him come over.

Long story short, I was so proud of The Man. When faced with someone way smaller and very nervous, he keep it simple. Fence the dog or else. When they shook hands and little man walked away, The Man looked at me with a very disgusted look on his face. I don't think that was the work out he thought he'd get.

Next episode will feature "Why I need a Fence"

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****tiny update! This geek (see post below) managed to get tickets to see one of her favo bands next month.....it's in a very comfortable intimate club, meaning I'll have to stand on top of The Man's shoulders and elbow room towards the stage.....woohoo, although it'll be interesting to see what The Man's reaction to this will be.*****

UPDATE: He was furious that I spent his weekly golf money on concert tickets (cause you never go...) until he found out the band.......then he dropped the phone and was bragging that he had the bestest wife in the world.... I can totally shop now, right? huh? Hello?

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Tempers, Fireworks.....

We had ourselves a great weekend. I won't bore you with my inferior pics of the actual fireworks. I'm so not a master with my camera and I'm okay with that. Everyone has to suck at something. So on that note, I have to keep it real around here. See, we can't even get through fireworkds without tempers.....they get it from The Man.
See Princess started out on hose duty. This is taken very seriously here our Hope4Grace cause 1. we have a brand new yard and 2. its a habit left over from ranch life. So she was ready to rock.
Except she made the mistake of putting the hose down and running inside for a minute. This is what happened next. Can you guess? See the possessive way she is clutching that hose? It's her turn by golly, she's a big girl, why can't see do it? The Man is still on patience level 2 at this point but level 3 is quite impressive to see. Then he went back to lighting fireworks, the pyro in him easing his parental discomfort about losing the hose battle with Duchess.
Who finally got her turn dang it...... See we support tempers, tantrums and teamwork over here.

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I'm A Geek....

So I have this thing about music. The OCD addiction side of my personality has taken hold and I easily become obsessed. For years at a time.....the point you ask?



So if you see this walking around your neighborhood?




It's me........how geeky is that. Kinda reminisce of the Poison shirts I wore in the 80's. I've began collecting shirts for my favorite obscure bands. Oh holy hell, it's official, I'm bat sh*t crazy.

Not to mention awkward cause an immediate family member's name is Molly.....hee hee, the evil side of me really likes that idea.

You can reach my obsession here and here and oh how about here

My neighbors wouldn't be surprised to see a leprechaun jump off my back porch at this point, but hey, if you love it, open the windows and share!

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Happy 4th Baby, (kiss an ancestor day!)

Happy Independance Day, and happy "I'm finally sitting down with my feet up" day. Man, I have cooked for the past 12 hours. Then I surprised myself when I didn't want to eat......seriously stop laughting, I was sick of food in general at this point. I ate two bites of meat and she was a done.

I survived the party. My plan didn't work, these dang people are just so socialable. Plus my girlfriend's family showed up from Canada. Seriously they just popped in, with no warning. Been two years and she was just telling me she missed them and whammy door bell rang. I was happy cause that meant more hands to help cook. Even though I prepared most of my food last night and this morning. When I got there at noon, it was on. People were showing up at 4. Turns out, I was the chef's assistant/chef. My girl Cec, she loves to cook, but is still at the recipe followed closely point. Me, I throw stuff in a bowl. Bring it on.

I hate to lead off with a pic of me not looking my best at all, but The Man surprised me and managed to pick up the camera (yeah, I know, shocked me too) and took two pics. Of me.

That would be me in the whiter than paper legs and tan shorts. Rocking the I put my hair up wet look. Hot huh? Stop snickering, it's rude. But we were knee deep in cooking at this point.
My answer to The Man when I got stuck washing dishes, though honestly we went through six sinkfuls. That is not counting the dishwasher loads. Oh and this ain't my house, ya'll. This is Cec's house. She and hubs built and moved in last year. About seven miles from me, further out in the middle of nowhere. Great views and awesome breeze.
We had grumpy babies and happy moms. Flags.....Hi girlie!
We had tables/chairs, tents and grills. Can you tell where their property line ends? The Man just helped lay this grass a month ago, looking sharp huh?
Fush-ball tournaments in the front room, theis went on all day. Men become pre-teen boys all over again.

Oh we had food. I diced all the tater salad, but Cec did the mixing....That's my cherry surprise behind it, last minute addition. Festive corn chips, hello beautiful things you rock.
My veggies quasidillas, I constantly misspell this stupid word, but OMG these were so freaking good.
Crab stuffed cherry tomatoes, another last minute addition......I love you....really, I do.
We had badmitton, The girls were learning for the first time, so this went on for almost two hours before Duchess threw down her racket and left in protest, cause The Man was cheating cause he was taller.
Princess spent most of her day like this.........kids' gonna be a politician. Kissing babies and shaking hands.

Duchess pulled a Marilyn several times. And her mom, well she couldn't take it........no panties on display in my house!
This was her response to that. I'm a kill-joy, what can I say. Modest is hottest.......right? (I heard that from the guys at work, I didn't really find the humor in that until this post....hee hee)
The Man and coworkers then decided some exercise was in order. Can you spot the one guy who carried his beer on the court?
That was painful to watch. These men are all 30+ years old and just throwin themselves all over the ground. $10 says they are all sore tomorrow.
See? on the ground.......Great views huh? Cec built on the very back row of a new subdivision, hopefully it'll take 20 years for them to build up that view.

So we survived. My feet hurt, I'm sleepy, I have a 730 a.m. tee time (damn it) and I only got cornered once (not by The Man, by the one woman that I really don't do well with) and on that note, fireworks tomorrow folks. I'm beat..........

Happy 4th

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I (heart) the 4th....

I just love the 4th. I love it so much that I'm not gonna gripe cause we're spending it with The Man's coworkers. In fact, I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm branching out, putting myself out there.........I volunteered to do alot of cooking for the shindig.

Here's why:

1. If I look busy, no one will bother to engage me in any conversation other than "Hey, how are you", in which a nod will suffice.

2. If I am truly busy, then I'll look even busier. See #1

3. If I'm cooking, then I know I won't die of food poision. Alot of the wives, they do not do the whole cooking thing well.

4. If I'm cooking, I can pass the children off to their father to "supervise" while he is yucking it up with the boys around the grill.......

5. See #4, if I have break time, I can hide in the pantry with my book and ignore everyone.

I'm going to have a wonderful time tomorrow, really I'm quite excited. Since I tend to be quite OCD, I've planned my menu and made my cooking schedule. Come on over, they are making BBQ and a few sides, while I'm preparing....

Summer Green Beans - roasted in olive oil with peppers, yum.....
Antipasta Salad - oh be still my heart, it looks so hard and so professional and it's just SIMPLE
Stuffed Mushrooms - cause this is my signature dish, and it gets requested, pretty cool
Veggie quesadillas - cause dang, those bad boys are freaking awesome........
Smash cake - half brownie-ish, half cookie-ish, be still my heart.....

So what are you making?

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Show Stopper....

Last night went beautifully. For once in several weeks, oh hell okay a month, we haven't been slam packed busy. We had nothing to do. We chilled and relaxed. We ate sandwiches off paper plates. It was heaven and I'll cherish the memory for some time.

I spent my time alternating from sitting outside on the porch in the sun to curling up on my couch, with a book. Dang my mom, she innocently handed me a mystery novel a week ago. I made the mistake of picking it up at lunch yesterday, I finished it last night. I couldn't put that sucker down.

But after we tucked our little ones into bed, The Man and I started a movie.

It had been recommended to him by a buddy. I can see why.

"Good Luck Chuck"

It was cute. There were scenes that were pretty funny and everytime naked boobs popped up on my screen, I smacked The Man in the head with my book. Cause I'm a lover like that.

It was so nice to snuggle up next to him and just enjoy a movie together. Something that we don't normally do, since our tastes in movies are waaaaaaay different.

I really think the night could have ended differently if we'd have just turned the tv off when the movie ended rather than being lazy and letting the credits roll as we talked.

OMG, have you seen the scene that plays after the credits?

If not, DON'T DO IT.....it burned my eyes and forever corrupted me. I can never look at a stuffed penguin the same way ever again.

It was a show stopper......save yourself, don't do it.

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Barking Spiders

Yeah, how is that for a classy title?


So last night, Duchess was having a rough night. She was exhausted, grumpy and just tired of even trying to do what mommy/daddy said. So she just kinda quit. Turned in her notice and tried to go to bed at 8. This is normally encourage, heck insisted upon by her parental units, except The Man walked in her room and realized OMG, hurricane Duchess had ripped it to shreds. This did not go well but honestly I think he'd have passed it up if only she'd not colored on her baby highchair. So after we did the whole "somebody will confess" thing, and she confessed (surprised she didn't hold out longer, she was really tired) and then her and daddy said a little prayer for forgiveness and we moved on.


The Man and I moved right on into my bed. We were hoping to watch "Fools Gold" but those children kept coming in and I never got past the opening credits. Dang. They needed this, or they wanted that, or she did this to me.


So we took away the hockey stick they were beating each other with, and firmly told them to pick up their rooms, it was bedtime. Move it monkeys, move it. The next step was getting my hot shot out.


So we turned our movie on and snuggled under the covers, me and my chick flick and him and his laptop. Cause that is how we roll. When Duchess came running into my room at high speed.

Now those of you who know Duchess, know that this child moves at her own speed. Which is usually just high of strolling. So for her to be seriously booking it somewhere means there is a problem.

I raised my covers and looked at that little face hiding down by my feet....

"There is a huge wellow (this is Duchess speak for yellow) spider in my woom."

I pulled her up next to me to snuggle and elbowed The Man and sent him spider hunting. Except he was busy looking at motorcycles and kept ignoring us. Finally after a good pinch and Duchess yelling "I saw it" 40-million times, he surrendered.

So as I lay there snuggling her, listening to The Man toss her room to find the large wellow spider.

He came back and jumped on our bed with the news that he found no spider.

Her eyes were saucer sized while she digested this piece of news. I could almost hear her thinking "ok, this means that it is still in there, and I have to sleep there, arhhhhhh"

So I started tickling her and somehow it came up with one of us asking her if the spider made a sound.........? Like talked? Cause obviously we watch too much Pixar.

She said it barked.

I don't think I need to tell you where that conversation went but Lord help the people around us the next time Duchess has gas in public. It's all about barking spiders.

Finally, after this stretched out my bedtime till past 10, The Man grabbed some wellow fuzz off the hall carpet and announced that he'd killed the wellow spider. She was asleep 5 minutes later.

Two lessons last night:
1. We have become better parents along this journey. Seriously, when faced with a 5 year old that blatently lied to his face, The Man sat her down and firmly explained the consequences. Then he waited her out. I can't say we'd have been that patient 5 years ago. Nope, I know we wouldn't have been.
2. All the bad/tacky things our children learn, yep they are getting it from their folks.........

Crap.

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And She is A-Done....

Okay, I've incorporated all suggestions from my three paid, I mean voluntary readers.....I think we're done for now. I can live with my new header. It's different, yet me. Plus I get to keep the dream couch that The Man would never allow in my real house.

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Hmmmm

Doing a little changing around the old blog.......not real sure I like this header......forgot to put my title in there, besides that, what in the world is it missing, cause it's really missing something....

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Alice in Wonderland Part 1

(back in business over here peeps, so pretend that this is the beginning of the whole ballet thing)

Heading out, I realized that I'd forgotten to "enhance" Princess. Oh yeah, you're suppose to put stage makeup on them. Except the last time I let the ballet teacher do it, The Man about had a cow. So I just did a little enhancement myself on her. Duchess was not happy to be left out of the makeup fun......but moooooooooooooooooooooooom.
Not only did our little family show up, but my friend Cec, my mom and a friend of mom's came. How blessed are we? I can remember doing things as a kid and having grandparents and family show up, it was the norm right? Well as a military kid, Princess is used to having her mom there, that is all (cue sympathy music now please). So you can imagine how excited she was that there were so many of us present. Seriously, we took up a whole row. I can't tell you how cool these people are to give up a saturday afternoon for this.

The Man stationed himself on the aisle of our row. The better to corral Duchess. Cause Duchess is not thrilled with being left in the audience while Princess is preforming. She gets kinda grouchy about it actually.

However, she was an absolute doll. Cause daddy brought her "just because" flowers........ I swear that man just slays me sometimes. Oh wait, I didn't get any "just because" flowers.....Not cool.

So these were the older ballerinas, when they preform I can literally see Princess holding her breath. She likes to get to practice early just to watch them leap and jump and twirl. She has got it bad.
So this is what she wants to be..........
So this is what she is for now......she's working through it.
Get'em girl! Do your thang...........do don't look over here, that's not your mother and your mimi yelling and whooping your name.

(Cause we're bass aackwards here at Hope4Grace today)

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Alice and Wonderland Part 2....

OKay, camera battery died on me so I'll be posting these backwards but here are some pics of my girl's big day, she was the Lead FaceCard Soldier in Alice and Wonderland..... sniff sniff
She prances well, she gets that from me. Along with her hair color, bone structure and pouty lips. Yep, all from me.......the attitude, all from The Man oh and the big feet too.
Blurry but you can see her behind the tall chick, such good form. I love to watch her dance. She just takes right to it. But man you should see how dirty her toe shoes are.....dang......
Staring at Alice.........doing her part well........this is titled "Off with her Head" they then chased her around with machetes, ummmm paintbrushes.....
In the finale, holding hands with the white rabbit..........the only boy in the entire studio....little stud, bless his heart.
On the way home, arms busting with flowers from her daddy and I, her sister, her mimi and a necklace from Cec. What a great evening! It was all about her.........just makes my heart sing, tears up my eyes and I just love being her mom at that exact point.

Then real life comes back into play and I want to hang her upside down and bite off her toes. Pre-teen angst is starting early at my house...........waaahhhh

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Fore!

This morning, for the second time ever, I golfed. Not just at the driving range. We played the back nine at our local course. I'm hooked.

Attendees: One Cajun, One Yankee and One Canadian
# of lost balls total: 8
# of times we nearly tipped the cart: 3
# of times I swung and missed: 7
# of pars: 0
# of times, people played around us: 7
# of bathroom breaks: 3
# of ciggies: 4
# of times I cursed: countless
# of times I threw my club: 2
# of cats that stole my ball: 1 - don't ask, weird story about cat that lives on hole 13
# of holes we walked till we realized that you could drive cart on rough grass: 3

Final score for me: 59 for 9 holes.......

I'm going again next saturday morning!

I'm hooked......

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Baptist at the BBQ

(**** my happy stupid self has internet people.......at my house......woohoo.....)

So two nights ago we got a knock on the door at 9 p.m., since I was surfing the big ole tub in my bathroom, The Man graciously went to the door. He came back with a cute, scrapbooked invite to the neighborhood BBQ.....the next afternoon.

There went my plan to photo copy it and get it out to all the uninvited neighbors......dang....they must have seen the evil smile on my face....

So I got home yesterday and got busy making stuff to take. Then my boss had a travel emergancy in Midland Texas. Then since I had no internet I was on two phones, one with my boss and one with a travel agent, trying to save him. No such luck, dang economy and cheap, flight reducing airlines. Sorry boss man, I tried....

So hence, I was late for the BBQ, and I went in my office clothes, all black with the whole professional face and hair plus heels. Rocking that burb look, I was not. But I had food, happy clean cute kids and The Man was due in any minute from work. I put on my happy face and promised The Lord I would not drop one F bomb at all. Not one.......so help me Jesus.

It didn't start off promising at all, I got there and my oldest took off to coo and hold every baby around, this is Utah so there were tons of infants to occupy her time. Duchess promptly climbed up the back of my shirt, thus lowering my cleavage level into dangerous territory. She's shy and doesn't like strangers. Lord help me, I taught the poor kid to be unfriendly, great.....

I put the food down and promptly two husbands walk up and start the 3rd degree trying to juice me for my life history. I so don't fall for that, boys I have worked for people like you forever, I totally can turn the tables, learn all your little secrets and then remind you of them later. But it was fun to watch them try. Meanwhile, I'm holding my cleavage as Duchess continued the Hudini act behind me and The Man was not showing up as promised. He was hanging me out to dry, it was pay back and I was not happy.

Not to mention, the wives of said husbands sat 50 feet away in lawn chairs surrounded by their children. Glaring. Okay, should have expected that, I wore heels to a BBQ, fry me at the stake. This continued until I was able to gather everything, including my dignity and return home.

Until The Man walks up with lawn chairs, a big ole kiss and promptly gathered Duchess out from behind me, thus saving my dignity and cleavage. The husbands quickly shifted their attention and the wives slowly began approaching the area in the yard, out by the curb where the children and I sat while waiting on our steaks to cook. It was looking up....

Until as we all gathered around the table to serve up sides and one wife asked me where I got my cute little accent....(mental eye roll inserted here, man I'm a cynic) but I'm game and I do want to get along decently with my neighbors. So I just smiled, told her I left Louisiana on a bus 13 years ago but it was hard to shake. Then she mentioned how people must just love to hear me talk. Well I said sure until they start automatically deducting IQ points. Silence...... then a full minute later her husband starts laughing hysterically and yells, I got it. Oh boy.

But I chatted and talked recipes and answered questions about what I did for a living and how my kiddos had to attend kids camp since I work. I started to feel pretty good about the whole thing. My kids were being adorable too.....One family complimented Duchess on how articulate she was for her age, then she preceeded to tell them every large vocabulary word she knows, in random order. Little cute show off, she gets that from The Man.

As the sun started to set, I gathered my dishes, peeled Princess away from a bald headed baby named Oscar (yes girlfriend, Oscar........how is that for a hoot......bigest brat you reading this...I pay you to read my blog so you'd better), wrestle Duchess away from the dessert table and The Man and I start inching towards the street where we'd walk two yards over to our house.

Two things happen that became the train wreck........one, a husband who just loves to talk and had followed The Man around all night chatting, actually told The Man that he was just amazed at how many big tough guys (i.e. ex-military) lived in the neighborhood and that The Man was the bigest of the bunch......that silence was golden until the poor guys wife picked him up and carried him home, I jest.....really he is just such a little fellow, he meant no harm.

The Hope4Grace moment of shame came when our hostess' dad showed up in his car and promptly went around shaking hands and kissing babies. He came over and caught us as we had made it to the street and introduced himself as a local church leader. We shook hands and The Man introduced himself....the guy looks at me and goes "well are you related to him"

WTF?

I wish I could say that I said, "Oh I'm his better half" or "I'm *&%$%&, his wife" or even "F--- you, have a nice day" but oh no.......I had to pop off a quote from my favorite Simpson's episode and I go "Oh yeah, I took his DNA when we got married, and then we had babies"

Silence = Awkward

Everyone kinda laughed a little after a minute, while one guy was literally swallowing his tongue while his eyes bulged out trying not to laugh, The Man just kissed my forehead. Yeah, you know it's bad when he does that.

Poor old man, he was awful red in the face but we left and marched our little family home. The Man, he loves me enough to assure me that it all went great and we'll all be best of neighbors.

I'm soooooooooo not getting invited to the next BBQ.

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Brace Yourself......

Supreme Court: There is a right to own guns


I personally try really hard to not censure myself on my blog. That is so not why I have a blog. I like to write, I like to throw it out there and then dust my hands off and say, well...take that. However, lately I've found myself really censuring what I write.

I do not write about my job or work -

1. Because I'm pretty sure that someone or someones (plural) have found my blog and now read it. If they have, that is cool and dandy with me, I really could care less. However, as much material as I could have for my blog from work.......I refuse to put it out there because I do like my paycheck.

2. Did I mention that I like my paycheck? Oh yeah, it pays the mortgage.......and buys me shoes, and furniture. Which is how my budget reads.......mortgage, shoes, furniture.

3. I find that work here is a completely different animal than I've ever experienced. Therefore I really can't do it because it would be hurtful to someone.......not me, but to others. Cause honestly, the stuff I hear and see......wouldn't come across lightly with puffy blue clouds and little chirping birds........get my drift?

I do not write about anything that I believe my mother would be ashamed to see on my blog -

Now keep in mind that beside being responsible for giving me life, she also knows me better than most and knows that I am 10,000 times worth than you could possibly perceive. But even she has limits......therefore I try to keep it somewhat clean......love you mom!

I do limit the amount of info I give about my kiddos......

Because therapy is expensive and I personally can't afford it when they are teenagers.

HOWEVER.........

I realized this morning that I've neglected to really dig into some of my favorite conversations, so let's just clear the air.........I'm gonna embrace the Internet and throw it out there.

I own guns.

I have a conceal and carry license, meaning someone has deemed me well trained enough to pack heat.

I shoot as well as my husband.

I have no qualms about killing someone else if my life or the life of my family is in danger.

I have no problem defending myself in court afterwards either.

I believe that this nation was built upon very important things.....the two most important being the belief in God and the right to bear arms.

To me, the right to bear arms means so much......

I have the right to decide my own fate. I can protect myself and my family as I see fit. Whether that is 911 or using my own gun.

You have those same rights, it is your choice though. Freedom of choice is still freedom.

A co-worker of The Man's is from Asia. He is here training with their company. In his country, a private citizen is not allowed to own guns or even ammunition. Therefore the first thing they wanted to do was go targeting shooting with the other guys. He was absolutely amazed that our country allowed us the right to bear arms. And by the way, the violence statistics in his country are far heavier than ours, I believe this is because we as private citizens are free to defend ourselves, among other things.

I once was asked by a cop (kin of mine) if privately owning guns was smart. Studies have shown that your home can be more dangerous is you have a gun in the house.

My thoughts on that were formed over the past decade. So here you go.......people kill, not guns. It takes a finger and a brain before the trigger can do harm.

If you have guns in the home and you do not properly secure them from children........problem

If you have guns in the home and you do not properly secure them from break-ins......problem

But the point the cop made was this: you take away all the legal guns and there will still be guns....unregistered, illegal guns. In the hands of the bad guys. Good point.

I do have to make mention that guns are not used only for security in my house. We hunt, target shoot and such as well. My children have already been introduced to rifles and target shooting, as you have seen on this blog. We teach them to respect guns. We also teach them safety with guns at all times.

So, in spite of all the controversy over private ownership of guns.......

I'm really proud that the DC gun ban was dropped.

I might not live there, but once it starts, it will spread throughout our country.......

As Heston would say, "Pry it from my cold, dead hand"


*****Coming up after lunch: the baptist went to the BBQ

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This is funny to me....why?

I did have a dream once that there was this great 'Eureka!' press conference about how we've discovered life on Mars, and it was actually the dead skin of one of our employees.

STEPHEN GOREVAN,
co-founder of Honeybee Robotics, whose scoop helped the Phoenix Mars Lander collect what scientists believe is ice

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True Story (Raising my Right Hand)

Overheard.....yesterday.....

The Man on the phone: "yeah so just swing by.....we're on the corner, yeah......oh and it's the yard that looks so good it should have BAD MOTHER----ER written on it"

Name that movie.....

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Still NOT unpacking

This past weekend we managed to get alot of NOT unpacking done. Between last minute ballet rehersals, play dates with friends from the old neighborhood at the new house so the kids wouldn't be sad.....and The Man's new fetish with our yard, we managed to unpack ZERO boxes.
It started Saturday when he realized that our yard was a tiny bit too tall......so he ran to the store and bought a mower. Then lectured me about it for 30 minutes explaining the difference between a bagger and a mulcher, like I'm EVER gonna use that nasty thing....
Then we began the process, which apparently included doing it redneck style with a ciggie hanging out of his mouth.......I kinda think he looks hot there.....but that is me.......
It continued.....see there was a geometrical shape in his head and the yard had to be mowed to its exact specifications. I was seriously just enjoying the feel of tall, lush, I pay for it therefore I own it, grass between my toes......

Duchess and FiFi came out to observe too, and they had to put their toes in the grass as well. I think it's very important to raise your kids to appreciate the little things in life......grass between your toes is one of the big ones. Notice that the garage is still so packed, you can barely walk through it, much less park a "very spoiled and never parked outside" car in there.
See his cute little bag of clippings over on the sidewalk.......see his pattern in the grass......see his adorable little hat......although I do wish he'd have gotten the mower in a different color, I'm not so much into red.
Neither is Duchess, we're leaving this party and going back inside where it's exactly 71 degrees.
Princess stayed the course. Riding her bike and then stopping to help her dad bag up clippings as needed. What a little helper.......well and she was grounded and that was part of her punishment but it would probably be nicer not to mention that, or the fact that I threatened to empty out her room and donate all the goods to charity........
Speaking of charity......this wasn't part of her punishment, she just threw it in for good nature. What I missed was the 1.23 hours The Man spent edging the yard precisely, with military precision.........I was shopping.......for groceries I swear.....nothing fun...... ;)

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