Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!



Life is My Highway

Montana and North Dakota have become home.... dang it lol.

These Girls

Lord help me but these babies wear me out.... they are just perfect!

Superheroes

Yes, it's from last winter but I adore this shot...so us....

Duchess

This kid glows from the inside out... my almost 11 year old!

We are so smexy!

Favorite sport: embarrassing our kids in public

Princess

My mini-me is finding her own way in life

Friday, June 29, 2007

Exploring The Mountains


So last weekend, we finally began exploring our new mountainous home. It's breathtaking. When we first got here, everything was covered in snow. However, once it goes green, WOW~

The sheer size is hard to imagine. This beautiful wall of tree and rock was taken on the furthest zoom I can manage, as we were driving along at 65 mph, cause The Man drives to get places people, not to look.


However, in the middle of nowhere we pull off the highway when we saw a sigh pointing toward the mountain with a weird word on it. Yep, the weird word was a city name. Apparently a city of 4 people! Seriously, however we drove it and passed by this old mining equipment out on the side of the road....neat! By this point, my kids woke up and started paying attention to the whole sight-see thing.


Next we drove right past this! Until I made him back up. In the middle of nowhere was this beautiful house...empty. Wonder if they mind us squatting for a couple of years....



By the time we reached town limits, we were 20 minutes from the highway and the mountain was closing in on both sides, there was barely room for anything other than the two lane road. We round a corner and see this......
Seriously! The people park their cars and use ATV's in town only. Visitors are welcomed but everything was closed when we got there, the locals were having a church service and bbq in a pasture next to the road.
Hmmmmmm..... we decided to come back later.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Come To Momma....

Meet the love of my life....okay one of them.

The Man has a horrible time with candles, perfumes and the such. Walking through Macy's perfume section is like making him walk butt-naked through hell, he's miserable. Soooo being a lover of anything that smells purty and looks purty, I said "I do" when I found these candles.


(Whisper) You can't let this get out.... Circle E Candles....

They are made in Texas, go figure, everything from Texas rocks! These bad boys are the Elvis of all candles. They last forever...case in point. I bought my fav...Bird of Paradise when we moved here in January. I got the 40 oz candle, it still has 1/8 left in the jar and people, I burn candles like I used to burn cigarettes, everyday!

I'm not much of a brand person but I encourage you to try one of these babies. You'll thank me. And Circle E if you're reading this....I deserve a discount!

So since The Man (see below post) agreed to purchasing somemore, I thought I'd get some samples of scents I haven't tried before....I usually get the same old same old. Very girlie....


So I'm trying:

Honeysuckle-bedrooms

Creme Brulee-kitchen

Musadine-livingroom

Tropical Rain-I'll think of somewhere

Leather-laundry room



Mind you I didn't get greedy (yeah yeah I did) but I just have to share!

Monday, June 25, 2007

Around about way

There are several ways to do things...this is my favorite:

Me: Honey, I'm out of candles, the good ones....from Texas. Can I get some more?

The Man: Uh-huh

Me: Is that a yes?

The Man: Uh-huh

Me: Are you sure?

The Man: Yes


Several hours later, The Man comes to me and goes, you did it again didn't you? You got me to approve to shopping while I was asleep didn't you?

Who me?

Saturday, June 23, 2007

We actually left the house today!

Dear people,

Big news, the royal family finally left the house and set out to explore our new state, oh about six months after we moved here. We actually planned a day trip, packed up and then did the last minute detours (you know, the where is my purse, I need my blankie, who locked the doors) But we piled into the car and drove around the mountains to a community festival, oh about 60 something miles away.
But before we left....
Duchess killed her very first bug, with my brush. I'm so proud.
(Adding a new brush to the shopping list right now!)
But we finally got there, and look what we found. The girls got their portrait done!
It's awesome, they added camo and rifles to the picture, I'll have to post that one soon.
This guy was cheap and really good.

The girls totally went prepared for the outdoors. Here are my resting pumpkins,
enjoying some homemade ice cream in the shade. Notice their beloved Cabela's hats.
Their dad is so proud! Both girls pick their outfits around their hats.
Duchess had issues with the sand. Poor baby, like her momma she hates dirty feet.





Princess practiced her rappelling skills. Gonna have to remember how talented she is when her teen years roll, around. Need security bars on her bedroom window...

But all in all, it was a great festival. We came home with full bellies and no souvenirs. I love thrifty! We got some amazing landscape shots but those will come tomorrow. :) I'm gonna go nurse my sunburn now.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Ummmmm....

While crusing the web, okay while reading all my favorite gossip sites.... (guilty pleasure) I came across a picture that really upsets me.

This is my favorite scarf. Sent to me from OVERSEAS by a blogger I faithfully read. I have actually been practicing wearing this scarf. I have followed tips and tied it, draped it and heck once I just threw it over my shoulder and went to church with it. :) Notice due to the extreme sunlight in my bathroom (can you image looking in the mirror at your face without makeup in this room?), the scarf looks lighter than it is.

Then I find this....

It seems this is a rocker, druggie and general yucky famous man. Weeeeee, he's wearing my scarf!!!!!!!!!!
This is not right!
If yucky famous man is reading this, cease and desist at once!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Rants from a Non-Smoker

Yet another day in the life of a reforming smoker, not sure why but this topic is pretty much controlling my every thought, action and movement! It is all centering around not have a ciggie. Dang it. I thought I was better than this.

Anyway, just this morning as I drove to work, I began a list of things that are bothering me. Doesn't everyone do this?




  • If you spilt it, clean it up

  • If you see a spill, clean it up

  • It if is due, send it off....procrastination is a tool of the devil

  • If it is seriously overdue, don't ask me why I haven't sent it

  • If the room is dirty, have the decency to close the door

  • Turn off lights, have you seen my electric bill?

  • Do what you say you will do

  • When you don't, then don't act like I'm stupid or I misunderstood you
  • This is just a small list of what was eating my goat this morning. Yet I did not stop and get a smoke. :) I'm trying. However, I did give an old lady the finger this morning when she cut me off, what is it with old people here?

    Correction: This is pretty much the winner of "what bothers me the most" today....this is just disturbing... this is a toliet??????


Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Inspiration

Four plus days...that is four plus days that I've gone without smoking. I'm kinda proud of myself. But mainly, I'm a big ole bag of b*tching, moaning and whining. But I have the best inspiration. They are worth it.
Happier posts coming, as soon as I find that dang bottle of nicotine pills the doctor gave me!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Yet More Redneck Proof...

Me, propped up on the bed watching a chick flick, hankies and chocolate nearby...

The Man walks through and announces that he is going to play with Duchess. However, he says this like it is a prison sentence.

Me, trying to be consoling... "She is gonna curl your hair again?"

"Nope, it isn't beauty shop today."

Me, thinking.... "Pet shop, are you a tiger?"

"Nope, not pet shop either."

Me, engrossed in the movie again.... "Hmmm, well have fun, oh wait, what business did she open today?"

"A tattoo parlor"

Me, bad parent.... "Cool, are they washable markers?"

Friday, June 15, 2007

Nasty Little Secret

I have a nasty little secret, I am a smoker. Most people know this by now, however I still treat it like my nasty little secret. I am the person huddling behind the building sneaking a smoke. Even if there is a ashtray next to the door, I'm out back. I try hard to never smoke around my kids. In fact, my oldest calls it my "nasties". I am one of those freaky people who enjoy the taste of a good cig. Yep, just thinking about it makes me smile, yum.

HOWEVER, I sit here feeling like I'm gonna puke! Cause it is day 7 and my dosage went up to 2 full pills a day.....cause
I'm quitting. (Silence?) Yep, after oh about 14 years of being a dedicated smoker, I'm quitting. This is a very difficult post to write as I physically hate the sign above. Cause people hate smokers. And I'm a smoker. I figure I'll always be a smoker, just a smoker in remission. Cause it is an addiction, thankfully I'm only kicking nicotine not a crack habit, so it could be worse....right? Hello?

Anyway, if you're the praying sort, please send some strength over here. Cause The Man is quitting too. The pills make me really yuck and puky but they have given him hotflashes and a very interesting temperment. So be glad that you're not living in this royal house!

My lungs and my family will hopefully thank me for this one day. Cause I'm not thanking myself yet that is for sure. This sucks!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

New Paths

Having just celebrated our six month anniversary Post-Navy, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on the differences between Navy life (military life) and civilian life.

Leaving the military was never something we seriously considered until The Man was just shy of his nine year mark. We had already done two dutys and were looking at choices for our third when bam! it hit him upside the head. A little voice that said "hey there is life outside of the Navy, life where you can see your kids everyday, you've given them almost ten years and maybe we can move on and be proud of that, somewhere else."

That little voice turned into a roar and before we knew it, we were civilian job hunting, attempting to turn ten years of military experience into a civilian resume (OMG, you have no clue how hard that was, just try googling military resumes! Civilian employers can't read them darn things!) and attempting to ascertain life outside of the Navy.

That was not easy. For instance, we were leaving behind:

insurance for the whole family, at no cost
reduced daycare costs on base
the uber grocery store where everything is about 20% cheaper than civilian stores
the sweet department store , read above line, same thing
military housing: reduced rent in great military only communities, people in the same boat as you, no pun intended
life insurance on The Man

However, we were also leaving:

6 month plus deployments with contact only via email or occassional phone calls
Duty nights every three to six nights where The Man was required to spend 24 hours on the ship away from us
Missed holidays, birthdays, and special occassions like oh I don't know, births!
Navy having total control of The Man and therefore the family

Having six months of civilian life under my belt, I will say this: it was the best move for us.

We were able to pick any location in the US and move there. We were able to find great housing in a good neighborhood and get the kids involved into the local scenes. I breath very deeply every morning when I get up cause I smell his aftershave. He may already be gone for the day but he was there and there is more proof in the dirty clothes on the floor. Cause he is there at home everyday!

He is able to be more involved in our family, he picks up kids, drops off kids, runs to the grocery store (can't recall him ever volunteering to go to the commissary) and does the errands on his days off. He is not just passing through our house anymore or as Duchess used to say "visiting". He lives there full time. He can be found taking the family shooting, fishing or just hanging out. He even cleans and cooks some too.

Yeah, we are truly loving civilian life. Now a better question is would we trade our military life for the past ten years? NEVER. That was an experience of a lifetime and I'm taking so much with me from it.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Too fast...

Princess is growing up too fast. It just melts my heart, those sneaky little moments of motherly pride that make my eyes tear up....or it could just be those darn allergies again. Any who, tonight Princess had her ballet class and I went early to try and catch her in action. Something I see too little of.

I cried. My first baby, the one I miraculously didn't kill with my parental stupidity, was just breathtaking. I've wanted for so long to feel like we belong somewhere we live so that I can involve my girls in things that little girls should have. Well it's everything I dreamt of and more!

She hopped and did little fancy jumps. She did the pointy toe thing with her arms gracefully reaching up. She did the squats and didn't look like a frog at all.

Princess has been moved up to Conservatory Ballet Beginner. Which means my baby will actually start real ballet in August. I'm so very excited. I know nothing about ballet but from the talk the director had with us, it's more serious and geared towards techniques and actual ballet study than the fun kiddo classes she has had in the past.

Sniff, sniff. I guess my ignorant butt better start reading up on ballet. I'm sure there will be a test and I better know what the pointy foot thing is.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Good Bye Old Friend, RIP

For many years now, The Man has been a fan of the Sopranos. Well, somewhere along the lines, I got hooked too. Last night was awesome, a great ending although a slow moving episode. I like to think that we, the audience, got whacked and the show just keeps going on in TV land.

Yeah, never said I was totally sane.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

I wouldn't if I were you...

Never, ever upgrade your tanning bed. I'm not a big fan of tanning and I can count the times on one hand where I've tanned. However, The Man saw the need for some sun on my pitiful white self (seriously I'm whiter than a piece of paper) and got me a membership for my birthday.

Yesterday when I got there, the regular beds were full, so I upgraded three bed levels, for convenience.

If I were you, I would never to do this!

I came out after 12 minutes looking like a lovely (hmmm how do I describe the color) golden cake. Just yummy. However, three hours later I had turned into a red velvet cake.

It took one bath, two coats of the gel stuff and one coat of lotion before I could lay down.

If I were you, I'd be utterly careful when tanning. Take my word, this sucks. Cause it's the first time in my life that I've went into my local library in my pjs without a bra. Cause it hurts, and my books were overdue. Not sure when I'll recover from the look of utter disapproval from said librarian though.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Memories

In my quest to clear utter junk out of my house, I ran across some pictures....wow...it's amazing what seven years can do to ya....

This is yours truly and The Man (wow, he was young) and my father-in-law at our combined birthday/anniversary party in 2000.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

One word is all it takes

There is one word in my four year olds vocab that sends me screaming for my closet. I want to curl up somewhere dark and suck my thumb...

Poopstain

Why is everything about bodily functions this week?

Monday, June 4, 2007

How not to spend a Saturday night...

When planning an outing with your kids, do not under any circumstances plan to take them to a concert, an outdoors country act that is very family oriented. Do not give into temptation! Heed my warning, people.


1. You'll rush to get there and forget to take cash ahead of time. Cause in the boonies, they only take cash. You'll go through hell and back to get a $20.00 to pay for those hamburgers and funnel cake (okay the cake was great and worth some of that effort).

2. You'll arrive a little early and then wait 2 hours for the opening act to start. Meanwhile you'll have to entertain your children.

3. It's hot and the wind is just blowing grit so you'll feel like you've spent seven years in the Sahara before any music starts to play.

4. There are only port-a-pottys. Duchess doesn't do port-a-pottys. But then she'll have to go three times before the music starts and you'll have to listen to the drama of "oh-how-mistreated-I-am.


5. The Man who is at work will call and happily say "How is it going?" then ask "Which one is crying?" which rubs your nose into your misfortune even more.


6. Then rude arse people will start packing the area and begin WALKING through on your blanket, with you on it. Princess was then highly encouraged to PUSH any such people ( I love the photo elusive step-dad).

7. You'll shake out your blanket forty times before the music starts. Preferably in the direction of that ole b*tch on the blanket next to you who keeps getting snotty.


8. Your four year old will have to poop at the concert right after the main act begins. You've been there for four hours by this point, so why not poop right?


9. However the line of old people at the port-a-potty enclosure ensures that she is in line with you for a while. To which at one point she looks up and says "My tummy hurts" and then two seconds later says "I didn't make it".


Well crap.


We're going home.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Blogging Taboo....

I'm gonna break blogger rule number 2. I'm gonna talk about my dinner. Sorry people, but dang, The Man and I had a real date night. We decided to get some grown up food....


Oh man, starting the diet next week! The gym too, and the pool. I love being a grown up.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Redneck Parenting 101

Upon planning our move to Utah, we dreamed of all the outdoorsy things we could share with our girls. Although you can't tell it now, we were once very athletic people. While dating, we did rodeo, hiking, fishing and shooting skeet. We love the outdoors, but the Navy isn't really conducive to such a life when you are surrounded my people and living like rats in a jar. However Utah? Utah rocks.
I came home from work to dinner on the table and the house cleaned. The guns were oiled and ready, the kids were dressed and ready. I got dressed and ready. We're off.
The Man started us off with a good show. Dang ya'll it's been a long time since I've seen that man handle a gun. Yeah baby.

Then Duchess got interested. Please note that everyone wore big ole white ear plugs, we are safety conscience here! Being that Duchess is a lefty, we had to alter our shooting habits. But The Man got very involved and before I could bite off two nails over my baby's first shot, she hit a target. Holy cow! That is my girl! Okay, The Man has something to do with it too.

Then Princess gets involved with her BB Gun. Cause she's a sharp one, she's been working on that baby since she got it, when she was six. We start them early. More on that later...

But then Princess moved up to the 12 guage. Cause she rocks like that ya'll. The Man was breaking down some instructions before she got busy.

Then Duchess has to come back for more. She got the .22 magnum out and tore up some clays. She is a stud in training.

She now has a shell from her first shooting day. What a girl.
A wonderful day, except I'm sore. Cause yeah baby, I took my turn on the rounds. Except I'm not nearly as good at it as I once was. I'll be practicing, alot.
The Man believes in full training for our girls. Cause he thinks it'll be helpful if they were willing and able to pistol-whip any wayward boyfriends in the future.







Gravy makes everthing better....

What do you need when your pissy, the world hates you and bloating seems inescapable? Gravy.

I came home to beautiful thick gravy, biscuits, deer steaks and mashed potatoes. YUM. My world got a whole lot better. Who needs chocolate when you have gravy. It's a beautiful thing.

Until The Man cleans the kitchen and tosses the whole dish of gravy.

WTF?

It just goes downhill from there.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Hoping for Style

In my never ending search for style, I tripped across an angel who sent me a pashmina. Oh my mercy, if you've never held one to your face and just sighed, you're hopeless. Quite like I was. I've been so freaking scared to even get it out of the closet, less Duchess decide it was perfect dress up clothing. The majority of my clothes have fell victim to this. But I broke out the pashmina today as I just needed to rub my face on something soft.

Pardon my sunburn, spent Memorial Day at the pool......
Princess about broke my heart when she assured me that I was wearing it wrong....WHAT! How dare my eight year old critique my fashion.....

So.... I tried other poses.....
This is my favorite. The old come hither look over the shoulder. The Man was not impressed and when passing by and saw this, asked what I'd done to my hair that I needed to cover it. No fashion sense that man! None.

So whatcha think? Am I wearing it wrong? Am I doomed to have no fashion sense for the rest of my life?

Monday, May 28, 2007

Oh Princess...

Each and every child inherits something from their parents...their mother. Princess that sweet baby of mine has my hair color, my face shape, my smile and my grace. Or lack there of.... Got a call from the school last week that she kissed the sidewalk, with her chin. However, after hearing that, Princess gets on and assures us that she is fine and it's not bleeding anymore. Go girl! She gets the toughness from The Man....I'm a screamer.
So she now has a chin scar thing going on. Which I keep assuring her that it will fade, however she is quite paranoid about it. Poor baby, scars are cool. She should ask me, I have a ton. Including a new one from my fall down the stairs the other night, my only excuse was that I was wearing socks on the carpet stairs, and more concerned with not spilling my bowl of carrot cake and DP rather than turning on the light. Opps.
This is the same sweet child who got busted talking to herself in the mirror (argument between personalities? Oh wait, I'm the gemini, not her....nevermind) when she was suppose to be cleaning her bathroom. I love cameras, cause that is the beautiful thing about blackmail, it's a beautiful thing.

Yo, ho....

"Yo, ho, haul together, hoist the Colors high. Heave ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we die."


Saw it, loved it! This coming from someone who CAN NOT sit through an entire movie without wandering off, is a compliment to the highest!

Oh, and it was yummy!!!!! Yeah baby!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

The Hunting Mecca Trip

Because we adore The Man, and because we ask alot of manly things from him (wash the car, clean the garage, take out the trash, unclog the toliet... nevermind) we occassionally do special manly things for him. One of such things is a trip to the Hunting Mecca. The 13000 square feet of everything hunting, fishing and outdoorsey....

However, there is no such thing as a simple "trip" into the mecca that is hunting. The recent "trip" turned into three hours of wandering, pursuing and education and marko-polo.

First, we all wandered around together. That gets old quick, I like the food/house area and The Man loves the gun side. So we each take a kid and split. That is where the fun begins.
After a hour of browsing, Duchess and I started hunting for our people. The other people who didn't bring their cell phone in.

On our journey, we saw the taxidermy competition. Duchess really like the big lion. Whose owner was extremely nervous when she climbed behind the red ropes and approached him, cause "Mommy I need a picture of him, he's cute". Who can say no to that? Not I or said owner.

Then we taste tested some fudge, and some granola, and then some syrup and then had some maple popcorn, cause looking for people in a store that sized, makes you hungry. Then we got thirsty so we hit the lemonade stand.

We then journey through the fishing section, where Duchess got a lesson in casting with a Barney pole. That was cute but I have no pic cause I was working a fly fishing pole. Old guys in that department love us... we're clueless but fun.

We then journeyed over to the outdoor exhibits where we climbed into a big blow up bouncer and had some fun. The salesguy assured us that it was only for display though, so we left. Spoilsport.

Then we hit the gun musuem, where we paid homage to John Wayne's gun that was on display. I love John Wayne. I have a picture of him in my bathroom, kid you not. That is another post though.

We found the camping section next, wow! I was in awe of all the cool outdoor/tent cooking stuff. I could make a four course meal on some of that stuff. Apparently I should pay more attention when The Man mentions camping. Hmmmm something to think about. Wonder if they make portable air conditioners for tents?


Speaking of tents, Duchess found this beauty. This amazing thing was so awesome with all of its comforts of home. At this point, we accidently wondered into the other people in our party.

Who were concerned cause they've spent their entire trip looking for us. Opps. They went twice to the car, even staked out the bathrooms, seems they didn't enjoy our "trip" as much as Duchess and I did.

Although....

Princess did inspect the talking moose.... and didn't cry when it got her hand. Trooper!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Ode to Chicken

I adore this red thing. This weathered trusty friend who makes the chicken that makes me sing. This is a recent addition to my home, it arrived with my mom and the photo hating step-dad. However, the sight of this beauty on my porch, makes me smile. Always.
Because this is the best dang chicken in the world. Smoked for four hours along with foil wrapped potatoes and corn over mesquite wood. OH MY MERCY! I have fond thoughts of this chicken. I actually had a dream about it the other night. Perhaps it's not normal to have dreams of food, but I love food, so I'm comfortable with this. All this wonderfulness was created by the photo-elusive step-dad. Who isn't surely threatening me with a knife because I have once again snuck up with a camera. Please....this is the house of cameras.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Happy Birthday

Well I brought my 30th birthday in with style. Cake, Steak and shrimp dinner, fried potatoes, and gifts. Very exciting stuff going on around here. The 30th didn't come in as hard as I thought it would. I can honestly say that I'm thrilled to have hit my 30's. It's a good place to be.
The Man helped me ring it in with style, cause every girl needs balloons and hugs!
Although I almost lost my appetite when I saw Duchess's appreciation for my cake.
Then I blew out my candles, and when they re-lit, I blew them out again, and again and then the smoke caused an asthma attack but The Man quickly watered the candles out finally. He loves me.
So I'm very happy to report that 30 is looking like a very fine year!