So I decided to jump start my spring and do a cleanse. Dave and I are both looking to drop some weight and frankly I'm scared to freaking death to even try to shove my fat ass into my swimsuit at this point. Shit just got real.
It's day three of my cleanse. Our cleanse. Firstly, can I just note that our approach to this cleanse really highlights our personality. Dave approaches the cleanse casually. He may be a couple hours late on his supplement or forget to drink his fiber drink in the morning so he bangs it before bed. I have my little booklet and check everything off. Every bottle of water I drink, check! Every snack, I note what I ate, check. I take my drink exactly when I'm suppose to. I literally carry around my checklist.
Now let's really dig into this cleanse:
I spent an hour and a half walking around the grocery store looking for food options. SON OF A BITCH every single thing I love to eat is off limits. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
This cleanse is a 3 week thing where you eat clean and take these supplements and fiber drinks at certain points. The key is eat clean and work some exercise in. Dave and I have managed to take a really long walk each night but I still gotta get some other exercise in there. Tomorrow will begin back with my yoga and attempting the C25k again. Bastard program from HELL.
So yeah, we have specific portion sizes. We are essentially retraining ourselves to eat the right portions and learn moderation. Laugh or scoff if you will. Life is a journey. Eat me.
For example: each meal for me contains 4 oz portion of protein, 1/3 cup complex carb, and 1 cup veggies or 2 cups salad. For the 10 day cleanse portion of this I am nixing fried, bread, and all the other bs that we should pepper our diet with but we tend to base our meal choices on. I'm eatting fruit for every snack. So I am essentially eatting 5 times a day.
So let's get real. The first day, I was fucking starving and fell upon my food like it was withheld from me for a week. As it became time for a snack or a meal, I got really grouchy too. It's really a training thing. I'm so used to overeatting. We all are! Portion control is necessary peeps. However, my big ass tummy was seriously communicating to me.... my fav: "Bitch, I'm starving.........feed me damnit! Now before I eat this spleen. Yes, Ima eat the spleen!"
However on day three and I can say, I'm better. Not starving. However, at 2am this morning I seriously spent longer in the bathroom than any one person should have. Hello cleanse. You bastard. Mental note: buy more matches.
To keep shit real: Dave is also having issues with the portion control. For example, for lunch yesterday I prepared tuna with low sugar, low fat best foods mayo and some pickles and onions (no relish, too high in sugar content). We had a complete plate of sliced carrots, raddishes, and brocolli crowns washed and raw with some salad dressing dip. This salad dressing is from my local store, it is seriously ZERO CALORIE salad dressing. It's not bad. I had the 1000 Island flavor. Yum. Then we had some pears too. So we weighed our paper plate then added the tuna to measure our serving. Dave got 6 oz and I got 4 oz.
Because I'm an amazing mom, my kids had yummy cheesy ham sandwiches, fruit and coleslaw. We all sat down to eat lunch together and this was Dave's grace: "Lord thank you so much for this plate of raw veggies and my 6 oz of tuna" ..... sigh.
Dinner last night was grilled chicken, I made a mix of zucchini, onions, and mushrooms and did a quick saute on them with a tiny dab of olive oil then we also had 1/3 cup pinto beans. Snacks were bananas and a scoop of peanut butter.
So another key part is the water. Duh. I'm suppose to drink half my body weight in ounces of water. Jesus I hate water. So yeah I cheated. I bought a bunch of those water additives, no calorie, no sugar but they make my bottled water taste like grape, or peach bilinni..... am I the only person who has to make their water taste like a boozy drink before they can chug it?
Okay, excuse me.... bathroom time.
Go cleanse. Go.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Cleanse
