Guns Bitches, Alot of Guns

So I'm sitting here in my chair looking online, shocker! But I'm listening to Dave as he sits in his recliner across from me on the phone. This morning I woke up in our new house, in my big as hell king sized bed with the crispy ivory sheets and beautiful comforter surrounded by guns. Dave is cleaning out the safe and opening an insurance rider for each and every one. It's apparently an all day thing. Now I knew we had a shitton of guns but heaven help me I had no idea that we had that fucking many. I really should go get a picture of that hot mess. Anyway, sweetness is sitting here going through each and every customization on these guns for the insurance guy (a former Marine who is digging this I'm sure).

But the only thing I can think of as I'm listening to all of this is.... if money is tight when the kids go to college.... I'm looking at their tuition laying out on my bed yo. DAYUM. I can't wait to see how much the monthly fee for this rider is gonna be.

So besides that, we got a repair guy coming to put the new dishwasher in. Sweet! So the new house cause a new fridge, new stove and now new dishwasher. The old one burnt up night before last. But after living without a dishwasher for six months, I'm all about the damn thing. So yes, please.... lets get that bad boy tuned up and turned on. I have dishpan hands. Unacceptable.

Off to gaze at the guns.

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Cynical Funnies

I scroll facebook sometimes, well just because..... and by scroll I mean, I sit there and laugh at the sheer stupidity that is there.... some of these people have lost their damn minds. I love the idea that "my life is perfect and fabu and Ima put it all out there for everyone to see" when in reality the truth slips through. The occassional drunken posts that mysteriously disappear the next day.... those are the most hysterical.

Then there is the post in disguise, which is the most common. Very passive agressive of some but they put up this long post about how disappointed, sad, frustrated, pissed off, lonely, and etc and then they sit back and wait for someone to "oh no, what's wrong" and then it's like shit, grab a glass of Cupcake wine and sit back cause this shit is gonna get interesting.

Seriously people, just come out and be all "Sandy (and be sure to tag her ass), I hate you because I heard from Julie that you were talking shit about me at lunch which I wasn't invited to, you hag bastard and I hope everyone finds out that you have herpes!" Now that would have a million replies and get some serious facebook post traffic, lol. I'd be all about promoting that and sharing it with all my friends.

Passive agressive hags.

Grow a pair.

And on that note, I've started cleaning out my stupid facebook based on the levels of stupidity shown by people I'd rather not have clog my day.

And I'll take this moment to honor that passive agressiveness with a little of my own.... there was once a few passive agressive people in my life, well they are irratating someone else these days :)

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Smartasses....

So tonight I started my promise to myself.... back to yoga. Oh boy was it a stretch, lol. I managed to only go about twenty minutes before I had to stop and oh the burn. So the girls thought it'd be fun to join me. So we shove the couch back and toss the socks and somebody passed a windy (cause I'm just keeping it real honest up in here) and we got started. Did I mention that Dave got on the floor next to me and began to join along? Yeah, the sweetness bless his heart.

Except for some grunting and some under the breath cursing, which the rest of them ignored cause they know their momma..... we were really getting into it. Downward facing dog feels freaking good and since I was close enough to whisper something obscene about it to Dave without the kids overhearing, I did ;) But then coming into warrior pose from dog, my nose started tingling and I took off for the bathroom.

I come back with some toliet tissue discreetly shoved in my nose and jump back into position. Looking for some attention, I tell Dave about my nose....

Smartass replies, "obviously cause yoga is a contact sport"

I hope he gets stuck in a downward facing dog.

Turdbait.

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He Melts Me

I was busy today. Duchess has the crud and I managed to grab her a doc appt so to kill some time in the -8 degree freaking weather, I let her sit happily doing the DS thing in the truck while I did a quick patch up job on some painting at the tiny house. We have yet to move EVERYTHING over so there is still little stuff to move and a few big things like the bunk bed, freezer and a bookshelf. But there were a few dings in the lovely vibrant purple livingroom paint that I wanted to touch up so they'd have a couple days to dry in this balmy weather. So there I am, bundled up and painting when Princess sticks her head in and says its dad on my phone for you. huh?

In twenty minutes, I'd missed one text, one email and three calls from him. Not good. This is the same man that will call once then text once then forget it and move on for hours cause he is busy. Something was wrong and I was hoping it wasn't someone died.

Instead of the "wheres and whys" it was " I love you " and whatcha doing.... ummm okay. Turns out he's been on the phone most of the day with his best friend, advising him and basically just listening to him. He's had a rough go at it since leaving the Navy. Ended up after a six year court battle being a single dad and being the best damn single dad we know. Six months ago he gets to know another single parent through their kids and two months later they marry. Four months have gone by and it's bad. Things are so out of hand and control that my heart hurts for this man. He deserves good things in his life, not this. And as it is after being faced with that level of pain and reality, my man calls me just to hear my voice and tell me he loves me.

I'm so thankful that over the years we have confronted our troubles. We have never shied away from difficult. And let this be a lesson, when we hit our seven year mark..... we had about six months of Christian marriage counceling. Best. Thing. We. Ever. Did. I learned so much in that six months and I met my husband all over again. I learned how to avoid the bad triggers for us both and how to compromise and mainly that love was strong, had faith, tough when it was easy to run, and love was giving! We are far from perfect, far! We love though and I am thankful for that love each and every day.

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Merry CHRISTmas

From my peeps to urs

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Happy birthday duchess

My sweet baby is 10! We didn't realize what we were missing until we got her.



Since the day we found out about her, Duchess has been our little ray of sunshine. She was even kind enough to arrive around 1030am letting mom get some rest before making her appearence, and she came a week early too to avoid having the same birthday as her sister.

There truly aren't words for this child. She is gracious, good hearted, an old soul with a love for those around her. She has her faults.... her focus is quick to shift and that baby can't remember to do something unless you are standing there directing her but her heart is so pure. I thank God daily for her. She brings the purest joy into our lives. Like Princess told her tonight, our family wasn't complete until you got here. And Duchess immediately said, no it was complete when we got Murphy. :) That's my baby.

My baby is ten and frankly I"m okay with it. I can't wait to see the woman she grows up to be.

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Picture update

So lots of news.... we started moving into the new house, my mom came into the big city and we had a girls weekend, the girls are celebrating their birthday and Dave is busy as hell. Life is so very good. Pssssssh, what depression! Here's a sneak peak.

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Baaaaaaaaaaaaack

So we are back baby! I'm super excited..... not only am I back in business but I'm busy as shit. As you can see, our family pics are in. Fun! So check out the fam, chilling and enjoying ourselves out in Montana. Actually, this is Dave's idea for our Christmas card. He kills me. Only my guy has the patience to deal with a house full of phone queens. I adore him.

So I'm subbing and staying busy. I find I like the sixth and seventh grades. So I've been doing the math and science route. I also doubled down on classes and May will find me holding my MBA. Holy smokes. I'm still recruiting on the side too. Oh and I'm working the crisis line for the womens shelter..... that means alot to me and I find there isn't enough I can do there. The kids are finally finding their footing here in our little 1950s Montana town. And there is sweet relief on the horizon. Tonight, my studly husband who has no equal got me a new rental house. A four bedroom house with a garage to keep my truck out of the snow. Four bedrooms so everyone has their own room and we have an office. OMGosh. I couldn't be happier. Seriously. I can't even begin to tell you how much I needed that. lol.

And finally, I'm giddy because..... well I bought my momma a plane ticket. She had three years old and then hello baby! Thursday of this week my momma is meeting me four hours away in the big city!!!! Girls weekend? yes please! More soon.

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Gasp!

I'm sitting here tooling on the internet and watching McLintock on television while I'm suppose to be doing my school work. At one point, I looked at Dave and it went like this: Me: Aren't you glad that you didn't have to fight with someone for my affections. Dave: Yeah, the one time I did... I had to fight three bouncers. Me: what? Dave: funny how you forget these things I adore my cynical man. And frankly that wasn't my fault! I'm digging myself out of my funk! I swear. :) Be back tomorrow with a huge ass update.

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Effffff me, I'm sick

Efffffing Montana, done got my ass sick. Miserable.

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We Alive.....

Prayers..... please. We should have our direction this week. Either we stay the course here or we are heading in another direction. Anxiety levels are off the chart.

In other news, we took family pics today after church. In 18 degree weather, with snow flurries and two sick adults. Fun!!!!!

Random weekly photos......

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Seeping Through My Pores

Stress is literally oozing out my pores right now. So many irons on a fire, so many potential outcomes and I'm trying like hell not to smoke. Mainly because I don't want to deal with irrating superior acting reformed smokers for having a relaspe. Pray for me, just a little prayer if you don't mind. I'm seriously about to lose it but I keep praying and praying that something will break and we will have a clear answer to our path soon. I have no fingernails left and frankly, the voices in my head are reaching a loud agreement that we need a cigarette. Stat.

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Picture of our week

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Duchess the Huntress

So while we are determined to make the most of our time here in Montana, insert hysterical laugh here, Duchess has taken to going once or twice a week with Dave hunting. Princess gets left at home to do schoolwork and hang with her mother (good bonding time, i.e. Project Runway) and Duchess gets all geared up in forty-seven layers (cause it's 7 efffffing degrees outside right now) and off they go. Except, she's quiet challenged. So Dave is training her by patiently reminding her every three seconds that she has to be quiet and walk softly like a church mouse than she'll never kill her first deer. But since this year she isn't carrying a gun, just accompanying Daddy, it's more trail and error.

But, she cleared the woods. As in, she was quietly walking along in her bundled up self following Dave when it happened. Loudly. She farted. And through the forty-seven layers it was apparently very LOUD. Dave said he stood there and watched her try to keep from laughing and then just fall to the ground and laugh long and hysterical loud at herself.

Yep, I'm raising some ladies over here yo!

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I Been a Little Bee

Bitchy that is, but also busy little bee. :) I gots my hair did. We have family photos coming up on the 17th and my goal is to b uber decent. I need lots of help looking good these days. But I'm banging some dark alburn hair baby. Pic later yo. So I've lost three lbs, mainly because I'm avoiding carbs instead feeding it to everyone else and me having an extra helping of protein instead. I loves me some meat! Insert inappropriate Dave joke here. ;)

So moving on..... it's snowing like a mother. In fact, the even named the winter storm that is currently hammering us. So as usual, I'm cooking my way through this storm. I gots me some marinated boneless ribs fixin to go into the broiler. The key is the 24 hours it sat in the rub in the fridge. Yum. Now cause I have time on my hands, I made some new sides. Since I am off the carbies, I made the kids and Dave some mac and cheese gluten style. OMG smells awesome. I took boxed cheapy mac and cheese then I drained liquid and dumped it into bowl with some butter, the cheesy powder, and about 1/3 of a block of colby and jack cheese very thinly sliced into small chunks once it was uber mixed up I added a dash of milk then slapped into a 9x13 buttered dish. Finally I threw some cajun seasonings on top and it still looked a little naked. So I grabbed a handful of the new crackers I bought to serve with cheese and apples for an after school snack for kids. They are italian flavored butter crackers, yeah, I smashed a huge handful and sprinkled on top. Taked till golden brown. It looks amazing and smells, fattening. bahahahahaha and I am not tempted to eat at all since it's equalent to poison for moi! Yes!

The other side.... a little treat that I made up. One can of french style green beans. Three slices of bacon cut into halves and then brown sugar. You wrap some beans in a tiny bit of bacon and heap sugar on top. Then it bake till bubbly. OMG heaven on your tongue. And everyone eats two or three bundles and then your moving on. Tots yummy.

And theres finally the salad with broccoli and cucumbers cause I'm on a green theme tonight.

Tomorrow is more snow, so looks like breakfast will be grits and sausage ragu. Baked grits then crisped up in a pan then smothered in an eggy sausage mixture with cheesy. Bring it on.

I need a hobby that doesn't include snowing or cooking. Help!

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Say Me A Little Prayer

little birds swirling around in my air, I'm hopeful but refuse to get my hopes UP until and only if everything falls into place effortlessly. When it's God's way, it's made easy and clear.....

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Disappointed

Blindly re-electing a man who is flushing out country down the toliet? Very disappointed in the librals tonight. And my favorite part, the quote on my facebook "woohoo a black man re-elected in a racist and biogited country"..... geeeee his skin color isn't my problem, it's his muslim tendencies and politics. Congrats.... I sincerely hope he takes those union pensions and that government pension and flushes it like social security.

Rant over, I'm going to bed. The next four years aren't on me. I voted for the business man. Not the idiot.

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Chugging along.

Life in Montana remains flacid and cold. Yeah I'm not a fan. But Ima huge fan of my peeps.

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Blah

I'm just blah. So here we go.... my fairy godmother with her fairy wand (somehow I keep picturing a huge hairy guy in drag whenever I think fairy godmother!) isn't going to show up and zap my grumpy sad ass out of bfe anytime soon so I gotta make this work. My cooking to keep my mind off it habit is also the reason why I'm still 20 lbs up after quitting smoking. Chunky butt is tired of being a chunky butt. I miss my thinner self. So time to get busy.

Ordered a pilates cd and workout ball for the house.... cause you know my days of walking outside in 20 and below temps are just over. Period. Over. That shit is for the birds and I ain't no bird. Come to think of it, I never see any birds just hanging around either so yeah. Once I have everyone gone and I start my chores (usually laundry or cleaning my tiny stone house) then I can do my exercise stuff. I'm also digging out my smaller free weights (hello storage unit) and a jumprope. Don't judge. I'm making a list and I have this huge problem (OCD) with a list being unfulfilled. Plan is to make a list for each day for the next two weeks. (I can always add stuff I need to do to my generic beginner list, see I've thought this shit through, don't hate because I get this little sense of accomplishment from checking something off a list) Each night before bed, put new list up on fridge.... scheming to irratate myself is a new low. Did I mention that I can resist a list?

I also made my grocery list and included stuff to start back on my protein shakes for breakfast. I'm not a breakfast eater, but I will drink a protein shake. I'm a drinker. So here we go. Pulling myself up by my bootstraps and kicking my own ass. :) Join me on my bitchy ass journal. It'll be a hoot. I'll try and make you as miserable as I am myself!

Oh and vote for Mitt.... cause at least he hasn't committed treason. Effffing Obama!

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Week in picture review

Drooling over my Studman...who has been working his butt off. Managed to get out of my pjs and dress for church. We scouted some hunting areas. They hot their tags bought. Duch had her first Halloween party. Prin headed out hunting. Duch had her last soccer game, we froze watching that crap cause according to her only bad moms sit in a heated truck to watch.... so I wrapped up and sat fieldside...I'm a sucker. Spent yesterday evening riding with Dave when he took some equipment to his guys in the field... he cracks me up. Also noted some weird stuff on the shelves, while shopping at she local wally store an hour and half from here. Started snowing here and we seeing temps in low 20s. I hate that.

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Punkass Chance

Over the years, Dave has always referred to "Chance". See "Chance" is the slick shit that will show up at the door asking to talk to Princess one day. "Chance" is gonna lose his teeth. Dave has planned "Chance"s demise for years, basically since Prin could walk. Yeah, whatever his name, he'd be blond, slimy and have a gay name, Dave was convinced.

"Chance" turned out to be Jory.

This afternoon Prin walks up and hands me her phone asking if I recognize this number that was texting her.  Hmmm, nope. So she asked. Turns out Jory is a boy in her English and History classes. She has no clue what he wants, lol. She was seriously freaking out and called her dad. Cause she texted little Mr. Jory and said exactly "my dad dont let me text boys" and Jory replied with "give me his number, I'll ask permission" ...... excuse me? Apparently little Montana boys have some serious BALLS. I about swollowed my tongue laughing so hard. Poor dumb boy. YOu asked for it. Happily gave over Dave's cell number.

On the way home from a drive this evening, Dave gets a very polite text from Jory with his full name and requesting permission to text Princess..... Dave is really trying to keep his shit together at this point. He texts back and then patiently sits silent.

You know I read that shit:

His response to Jory: Princess can not text boys. So no. Find a better use for your time.

bahahahahahahaha

Poor Jory.... seriously though kid, if you'd met Dave five years ago, I'd be bailing Dave out of jail for kicking your daddys ass.

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Smexy shit

My momma sent me a hat.... shit is warm!!!!!

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She gets that honestly....

Mom do you have a handbook? You know that book of rules and regulations? Cause at recess, me and my friends were playing tag on the castle and Mrs. Groucher tells us it's against the rules and we had to sit out. I need that handbook to prove my case. Mrs. Groucher is Mrs. Grouchy and she's wrong!

Yeah, that was my kid today. She was PISSED yo. And Mrs. Grouchy? OMG she's a snarky snot huh?

Dave was like oh hell, she's a rule bender like you! ;)

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Another week down..

Review in pics. .. sideways cause I've yet to figure out why they r sideways... crap

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WTF?

Princess is chilling on the couch with Murphy watching tv with me.... and casually mentions: "I'd really like a set of throwing knives for Christmas" ....

Excuse me?

Hell to the Effffffffffffing NO

WTH?

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We Tore It Up

So I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack.

I love my husband. He rocks my world yo..... for sixteen (?) years, he's just cool as hell. And spoils me, and I totally don't deserve it. But who am I to correct his ways?

So he had his yearly budget stuff going on last week, and wouldn't you know it was in Idaho where we were previously living (remember my beautiful log cabin on the side of a mountain, yeah me too). So knowing that my Connie Poo and I were so sad since we hadn't needed bail money together in months, he offered to take us along.

Wait, you will take me back to Idaho.... and stay in that cute little bed and breakfast with the ginormous tub and the hot pools and the Connie and her kids (convientantly bffs with my kids)?

No brainer peeps.

I took about 30 soaks in that tub. Weird, turns out that Montana is very very dry. Like scaley peeling nasty ashy shitty skin dry. I'm narly looking. But Dave has determined that since I don't drink water, I must suck it in through my skin..... my skin is so freaking perfect after the hot pool soaks. But we're back now so I'll be ashy and gross in 3-2-1.....

Connie Poo and I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt bad. I wet myself once and had multiple close calls. I took over her kitchen and cooked for both families. Her teenaged son who I've rarely seen outside of his room, suddenly became my new best friend.... I think it was my chocolate chunk cookies.

We went on a double date with our husbands who are strangly very similar! They saw a boy movie and we saw Pitch Perfect, fun shit! Fat Amy cracks my chubby ass up!

I colored her hair. It didn't go well. In my defense, she picked the box color out and I just did the rinse. Wait, is it my fault if I was just the slave labor? I don't think so..... I need to discuss this with her and her extremely pinkish hair.

We got our pedis on. I have frankensteins on my big toes. Cute as hell. Shit, sorry... my inner girl was showing.

So in Idaho we also picked up some parts for Dave's latest project. We are building our own A R-1 5s.(sorry but by spreading out the name, maybe it won't pull in a keyword search) Four of them to be specific. One for each of the family, just because ....well you never know when you will need those in your arsenol. Right? Plus, can I point out that we move often with his work and there is only one small part of a build kit that is registered.... cause I'm of the opinion that one day, those registery lists will be used for something I won't like! Just sayin.....

The kids got to get some awesome shopping in... they were adorable with their allowance. Each gets a monthly allowance and I just have to point out that Dave is a freaking genius. Other than must haves and a few (very few) wants, they have to buy their own stuff. Those awesome boots that she just has to have..... out of her allowance.... those earrings that she must have.... ditto.... that toy....ditto ditto..... brilliant. In the two months since he started it, both kids have shown a new tendency to step back from the really expensive stuff if they don't really need it. Prin passed up a A&F hoodie because it was more than one month of her allowance. She is learning to disclipline herself. Did I mention that my Dave is the man?  I'm just a little nervous he's gonna give me an allowance!

Oh and the 14 plus hour truck ride for this little trip? For the record... let me just say that my man has the patience of Job. If he wasn't taking us, he'd have taken a quick little plane ride and boom been there with a rental car and a nice hotel room. Instead, he got to drive my truck (I love my truck) packed with girls, girl stuff and the Murphy man who we had to drop off at doggie spa in the nearest big city.... little turd was spoilt rotten. Back to Dave, not only did he do all the driving (except the 20 minutes through Bozeman when he was napping and I took a shortcut that wound up taking us straight through west yellowstone and the damn 55 mph speed limit, urgh .... he was not amused, although he admitted it was really purty!), he also listened to all our music until he found a Randy travis gospel cd at a truck stop and played it NONSTOP... thank goodness for earplugs and my ipod... poor kids ...... He stopped everytime someone was snacky or had to pee and he did all this without a single complaint. Turns out he might really enjoy having us around all the time. huh.....

He even smiled when the CEO of his company (from Canada yo) got to meet me in my pjs.... long story short... I was just up from a nap in a sweatshirt and tights when he calls to say he was almost outside... early for the day.... yeah, the CEO was nice enough to drop him off..... at the door .... where I stood in my pjs.... he came and met me. I was so flustered. Dave got mega points for looking real proud to introduce me. Bless his heart, I'm his burden. (anybody ready to give him a medal yet?)

So now we are here, back in our little Montana town. Unpacked late last night, fell into bed with a very happy to be home Murphy man. This morning, kids went to school... Dave went to work... and then boom.... I started laundry. By noon, I'd managed to do eight small loads (dang small washer/dryer.... I miss mine but they are in storage) and I'd managed to sort all the stuff and put away. Even managed to strip bed and put on fresh bedding WHILE catching up on my shows I missed. Hello, Major Crimes and Project Runway! However, by noon.... I was at the end of my rope. Prin walks home for lunch sometimes and today when she came home.... there was nothing quick to eat so that meant that I needed to hit the grocery store for lunch stuff AND finish another eight loads of laundry. I cheated. I haven't used a laundrymat since we were E4s but I did so today yo! I rocked that dang laundrymat and got everything done in 1.14 hours. Bedding? check. Bleached my whites? check. Got all Dave's fancy dress shirts hung up and purty (never thought I'd type that shit, I might need to go back to work)....? check. Yeah, well my chores got done in time for the rain to start. Now to just clean the house.

That can wait till tomorrow. I'm going to snuggle up to my dearest husband.

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Lazy asses..

Instead of a hike, we took a four wheeler

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