No Shame

I'd like to share with you the fact that I truly have no shame. There are times when this works best for me. Like on the trip home yesterday. At some point during the trip, we got food poisoning. Now Princess and me were dying but Dave and Duchess were happy to violate every bathroom we happened to pass by.

Wait: is this where I warn you that this is a taste-less post? About poo? Yeah, move on if you're above such a thing. ;)

Princess is kinda like her momma, she's picky about bathrooms. But even she has her limits, and apparently there are some bathrooms she'll consider. Like the one at the farm store that was "squeeky clean mom" NOPE. I'm out. I'm waaaaaaay pickier than that. I'll wait till I get home. Thank you very much. Never mind that home is TWO DAYS AWAY.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I met my match though about three hours from home. I wasn't going to make it. So I did what any other strong, opiniated woman on a ledge would do...... I picked the fanciest, expensive hotel in town. You know the one. The outside is impressive... just dripping class and taste. The lobby looks like a really expensive old house. And here's the key, that shit has a conference center where they hold events and etc.... weddings, you know the kind. Yeah, I had Dave drop me off at the front door.

Wearing my pjs (cause I travel like that yo) and my sunglasses (cause I was too good for them common people lol) I busted up in that lobby like I owed that bitch. Then followed the signs to the event rooms and there it was... the holy of all holy bathrooms. Next to any of those areas they always have a very elegant, immaculate bathroom. Nobody stopped me, and in fact if you strut just right, people will literally move out of your way. So I got there fast. I flipped that lock and bless my heart I think I about died. Tried to kill me they did.

Now, the beautiful thing about these bathrooms is the fact that its always stocked with hand oils, real towels and etc so you can literally pamper yourself. I finally swung out of there and walzted through the event prep area where somebody was getting ready for a corporate meeting so I grabbed some bottled water and bailed. Had to walk out the front and then across the road to where the Dave and the kids were shopping at a sports/outdoors store.

I met up with them at the entrance and we all turned to see Princess come quickly walking out of their bathroom. She was moving briskly and looked a little pale. Her exact words "they may need to repaint in there, let's go NOW".

No shame.

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