A few complications, a few setbacks. But my family has stepped up yet again and I've got quite the team. I'm so blessed. Be back later in the week.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
What's Normal?
My baby, you know the 6 year old, snuggled up next to me on the couch tonight and told me...
"Momma, I can't wait till your normal again. I miss you"
I second that baby, I'm ready too.
"Momma, I can't wait till your normal again. I miss you"
I second that baby, I'm ready too.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Why oh why?
Am I still in utah for another winter........but better to enjoy this fresh, season opener snowstorm. Gotta get my snowblower plugged in..........
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Blogging my hysterectomy...Part 2
Recovery was interesting, apparently I was in there for awhile....I have no clue. But I do know this: I embrace sleep. So it is no surprise that the few times I've been under, it takes awhile to get me out, cause I like me some sleep.
The really old old almost dead but sweet lady (another volunteer apparently, man, Utah has the corner on volunteers at the hospital) was in my face and her breath smelled like apples, considering how happy she was I'm pretty sure she was sneaking apple martini's when noone was looking. She kept calling my name.........until I'm pretty sure she gave up and went to have another martini as I went back under.
They must have tired of this and said f- this, let's take her to her room, cause the next time I opened my eyes it was to Dave face, my favorite sight, weaving in and out of focus but then nothing. Not sure how many times I did this or how long, but finally I woke up and my mom was sitting across from me. This time I sorta stayed up enough to ask how it went and where was Dave.
Poor guy had to run a million errands for me before winter hits so he was out tagging my 4 wheel drive jeep for the winter cause apparently it took me forever to wake up. Mom did say he was worried about not being there when I woke up, cause he promised he would but I do remember him being there so I'm totally cool. Actually better than cool, cause he busted his butt to make sure I had everything I could possibly need for the recoup period, including 4 wheel drive.
So the rest of Day 1 was a complete blur. I remember lots of shots, lots of water and a little smuggled Dr. Pepper, lots of everything but no pain, I was floating off in la-la land peeps. It was heaven. I love me some drugs, because I have a very low tolerance for pain and for once somebody listened. Having Dave around helps cause he looks mean and tough and frankly I like that about him.
Towards evening, they brought dinner and my entire universe shifted focus. Food became very important, apparently I was severely dehydrated after my surgery but didn't require a transfusion like we'd thought I might. So that cup of broth was the most important thing, so important that I didn't wait for mom to test it, I grabbed the cup and promptly burned the utter shit out of my tongue........then ate like 4 containers of jello to make up for it.
There really is nothing like being high as a kite and getting everything you want. Seriously I had to merely utter to Dave four hours later that I'd like jello and he involved the nurse in the hunt for jello, cause by god, she needed it right then. And I ate enough jello to sustain me for weeks.
My very good very amazing friend from work came by (either she did, or a spirit who has the same exact haircut and eyeglasses did) and we chatted, I think........not too clear on that. Then my girls came in, during which they got to come over and hug mommy and I tried very hard to look "normal" during their 5 minutes in the room, Dave had brought them in with him to see that I was ok and mom took them home for the night. They had this awesome tag team action that went smoothly, I was very impressed. And very high.
The night was broke up into segments of awakeness where I remember having Dave help me turn slightly or reach my drink and I'm pretty sure at one point, I woke him up to ask him to open the blinds cause I couldn't see (duh, it's dark at 2 am). It was also marked by morphine shots every 4 hours. Left hip, right hip, left hip, right hip. These peeps were very concerned that nobody hurt on their shift.
Finally Tuesday morning broke and with it, I kinda came back to consciousness. The drug trip was fun but I was really ready to get normal. So I waved off the shots and started the pill therapy. Realized I had a cathater which freaked me out, but then when that was gone the trip to the bathroom, where you stand up for the first time?
HELL ON EARTH
I swear everything shifted in my stomach and I completely started freaking out, except the nurse holding me keep sushing me, cause Dave was finally sleeping in the chair across the room. Apparently she thought he looked as cute alseep as I did, but damn lady..........so I had to have my semi-mental-lose-my-shit-breakdown in quiet little raspy gasps........fun times.
But once that was over, I got used to getting in and out of bed. My mom showed up with flowers that were at the front desk for me. I never get flowers..........ever.......unless somebody has f-ed up something horrible........so that was a treat. My work is very thoughtful!
Before I know it, food comes. And it's everything that I can't have. Toast,eggs, milk. Why did I waste 10 minutes filling out those damn forms before hand? So interest of eating, we left.
Yeah, apparently I'd passed all the tests and they kicked my arse out. (Seriously they were worried about N1H1 contamination, so I was okay with leaving without taking home some swine)
So that begins my recoup-ing here at home.........
The really old old almost dead but sweet lady (another volunteer apparently, man, Utah has the corner on volunteers at the hospital) was in my face and her breath smelled like apples, considering how happy she was I'm pretty sure she was sneaking apple martini's when noone was looking. She kept calling my name.........until I'm pretty sure she gave up and went to have another martini as I went back under.
They must have tired of this and said f- this, let's take her to her room, cause the next time I opened my eyes it was to Dave face, my favorite sight, weaving in and out of focus but then nothing. Not sure how many times I did this or how long, but finally I woke up and my mom was sitting across from me. This time I sorta stayed up enough to ask how it went and where was Dave.
Poor guy had to run a million errands for me before winter hits so he was out tagging my 4 wheel drive jeep for the winter cause apparently it took me forever to wake up. Mom did say he was worried about not being there when I woke up, cause he promised he would but I do remember him being there so I'm totally cool. Actually better than cool, cause he busted his butt to make sure I had everything I could possibly need for the recoup period, including 4 wheel drive.
So the rest of Day 1 was a complete blur. I remember lots of shots, lots of water and a little smuggled Dr. Pepper, lots of everything but no pain, I was floating off in la-la land peeps. It was heaven. I love me some drugs, because I have a very low tolerance for pain and for once somebody listened. Having Dave around helps cause he looks mean and tough and frankly I like that about him.
Towards evening, they brought dinner and my entire universe shifted focus. Food became very important, apparently I was severely dehydrated after my surgery but didn't require a transfusion like we'd thought I might. So that cup of broth was the most important thing, so important that I didn't wait for mom to test it, I grabbed the cup and promptly burned the utter shit out of my tongue........then ate like 4 containers of jello to make up for it.
There really is nothing like being high as a kite and getting everything you want. Seriously I had to merely utter to Dave four hours later that I'd like jello and he involved the nurse in the hunt for jello, cause by god, she needed it right then. And I ate enough jello to sustain me for weeks.
My very good very amazing friend from work came by (either she did, or a spirit who has the same exact haircut and eyeglasses did) and we chatted, I think........not too clear on that. Then my girls came in, during which they got to come over and hug mommy and I tried very hard to look "normal" during their 5 minutes in the room, Dave had brought them in with him to see that I was ok and mom took them home for the night. They had this awesome tag team action that went smoothly, I was very impressed. And very high.
The night was broke up into segments of awakeness where I remember having Dave help me turn slightly or reach my drink and I'm pretty sure at one point, I woke him up to ask him to open the blinds cause I couldn't see (duh, it's dark at 2 am). It was also marked by morphine shots every 4 hours. Left hip, right hip, left hip, right hip. These peeps were very concerned that nobody hurt on their shift.
Finally Tuesday morning broke and with it, I kinda came back to consciousness. The drug trip was fun but I was really ready to get normal. So I waved off the shots and started the pill therapy. Realized I had a cathater which freaked me out, but then when that was gone the trip to the bathroom, where you stand up for the first time?
HELL ON EARTH
I swear everything shifted in my stomach and I completely started freaking out, except the nurse holding me keep sushing me, cause Dave was finally sleeping in the chair across the room. Apparently she thought he looked as cute alseep as I did, but damn lady..........so I had to have my semi-mental-lose-my-shit-breakdown in quiet little raspy gasps........fun times.
But once that was over, I got used to getting in and out of bed. My mom showed up with flowers that were at the front desk for me. I never get flowers..........ever.......unless somebody has f-ed up something horrible........so that was a treat. My work is very thoughtful!
Before I know it, food comes. And it's everything that I can't have. Toast,eggs, milk. Why did I waste 10 minutes filling out those damn forms before hand? So interest of eating, we left.
Yeah, apparently I'd passed all the tests and they kicked my arse out. (Seriously they were worried about N1H1 contamination, so I was okay with leaving without taking home some swine)
So that begins my recoup-ing here at home.........
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Blogging my hysterectomy...
So I decided that blogging my hysterectomy might be fun.......cause fun is something I'm running really short on. So I'll back up and run you through.
Day 1 began Monday: bright and early. We got the kiddo's to school and then Dave and I headed downtown to the hospital. Traffic was light so we had time to kill......thus when my daddy called from his hunting camp to check on me, I was at the bookstore, he was not amused.
Other than childbirth and a corrective leg surgery when I was 12 (hello, that is why I'm the shortest peep in the family basket) so I wasn't too sure what to expect when I got to the hospital. And for once I got really really quiet. It's not a good sign when I get quiet.
But on the surgery floor, I had a lovely volunteer named Bob who took me to a room, explained all the equipment in the room such as the tv and the way the bed operates and then left me with a bag for my clothes. He also left me with my very tense and quiet husband and my equally tense but talkative mommy (we all handle tension differently don't we?). You can imagine my surprise when my hospital bathroom looked every bit the airline bathroom, but then I got my gown on and discovered that hospital gowns have come a long way, mine had a hookup that looked like you could plug a car battery into it. Except you can hook up a heater or an a/c vent into the gown. Sweet. Except, they didn't hook me up.
Instead they came in and hooked me up with lots and lots of pokes. So I got more blood drawn. By a sweet little CMA in a patterned scrub. She made the point of telling us that she was trying to branch out her wardrobe with some patterns. Then she left and the minion of satan showed up. Turns out I had to have a shot to thin my blood for the surgery. So that evil bitchmonger of a nurse gave it to me in my stomach. That hurt like the seventh circle of hell! Poor Dave was clenching and unclenching his fist, I was really hoping he would punch her upside her head. No such luck though. But then they came to wheel me away.
So my little parade went up the elevator and once at the lobby, we left mom and Dave in the waiting room and they took me into pre-op. I got my own semi-private cubie where I got my IV and then met with my new best friend, my drug doctor. After going through that, they put my very very sexy compression boots on and since we were running late and my doc was waiting on me in the operating room, rushed me through the hallway.
The operating room wasn't as sci-fi as I thought it would be. A little disappointing........ but I tried not to focus on the stuff littering that room, scary!!!! But once they put me on the operating table, they started securing my arms down, I got a little scared. Then boom, nothing.
Sneaky little drug man caught me when I wasn't paying attention and zapped me.
Next thing I know, this really really old lady was in my face calling my name........even sleeping beauty had to wake up sometime....
Next up: Recovery
Day 1 began Monday: bright and early. We got the kiddo's to school and then Dave and I headed downtown to the hospital. Traffic was light so we had time to kill......thus when my daddy called from his hunting camp to check on me, I was at the bookstore, he was not amused.
Other than childbirth and a corrective leg surgery when I was 12 (hello, that is why I'm the shortest peep in the family basket) so I wasn't too sure what to expect when I got to the hospital. And for once I got really really quiet. It's not a good sign when I get quiet.
But on the surgery floor, I had a lovely volunteer named Bob who took me to a room, explained all the equipment in the room such as the tv and the way the bed operates and then left me with a bag for my clothes. He also left me with my very tense and quiet husband and my equally tense but talkative mommy (we all handle tension differently don't we?). You can imagine my surprise when my hospital bathroom looked every bit the airline bathroom, but then I got my gown on and discovered that hospital gowns have come a long way, mine had a hookup that looked like you could plug a car battery into it. Except you can hook up a heater or an a/c vent into the gown. Sweet. Except, they didn't hook me up.
Instead they came in and hooked me up with lots and lots of pokes. So I got more blood drawn. By a sweet little CMA in a patterned scrub. She made the point of telling us that she was trying to branch out her wardrobe with some patterns. Then she left and the minion of satan showed up. Turns out I had to have a shot to thin my blood for the surgery. So that evil bitchmonger of a nurse gave it to me in my stomach. That hurt like the seventh circle of hell! Poor Dave was clenching and unclenching his fist, I was really hoping he would punch her upside her head. No such luck though. But then they came to wheel me away.
So my little parade went up the elevator and once at the lobby, we left mom and Dave in the waiting room and they took me into pre-op. I got my own semi-private cubie where I got my IV and then met with my new best friend, my drug doctor. After going through that, they put my very very sexy compression boots on and since we were running late and my doc was waiting on me in the operating room, rushed me through the hallway.
The operating room wasn't as sci-fi as I thought it would be. A little disappointing........ but I tried not to focus on the stuff littering that room, scary!!!! But once they put me on the operating table, they started securing my arms down, I got a little scared. Then boom, nothing.
Sneaky little drug man caught me when I wasn't paying attention and zapped me.
Next thing I know, this really really old lady was in my face calling my name........even sleeping beauty had to wake up sometime....
Next up: Recovery
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Spilling my guts......
Where to start? Life is complicated. And the Lord is good. Things are interesting....but I can say this......Flashforward is a show I'm not interested in seeing. Cause if you'd have told me I'd be here six months ago, I'd have run screaming for the hills (carrying my shoe collection, natch).
For months I've moaned loudly about being stuck in Utah. Oh how very little did I know. We made the decision to begin the process of a family move. We put the house on the market, we prepped the family and the kids. Dave has been looking for rental houses in his area. We thought we were on the road.
However, we also made the decision to put the whole she-bang in the Lord's hands and walk on faith. First and foremost because stress does not do my body good. The worst thing for my stomach problem is stress. So putting it on his plate, began to take the pressure off mine.
Except last week I realized quickly that we can't plan for everything. Really you can't. And I had an ah-ha moment and then hit my knees.
Let me back up, beginning in April I started having some bothersome health issues that I started haunting my doc with. Then in early August, I took a softball to the stomach. It was a beautiful pitch if I do say so myself, and he hit a beautiful line drive, straight into my stomach. Days later, I went to the doc for pain and swelling. And they sent me straight for a CAT scan. Which came back as clear for internal injury but included a growth of some sort on an ovary (if you're male, go throw up now and come back tomorrow).
My doctor promptly washed his hands and sent me to a specialist. Who sent me for another CAT and ultrasound. Fun times peeps, fun times. But she gave me a list of possible outcomes depending upon test results. Which I processed a little, tiny bit and moved on.
Last Wednesday I met with my doctor and before leaving her office, we scheduled my hysterectomy. For this coming Monday.
I'm 32 years old so I was in a bit of denial, but as Dave says.......I have my kids, we weren't having more.......I won't miss those girlie parts. So after having a parking lot anxiety attack, I put my big girl panties on and reminded myself that I was being proactive, I was being a grown up and I made the choice to do this right, not draw it out.
That being said, I went about notifying my family. It took my mother less than 20 minutes to file for a leave of absence from her job to move in with me to take care of me. She is my hero. I strive to be the mother that she is. With that one stroke, she removed 75% of my concerns. My kids and I would be taken care of since Dave has to work, in another state. Dave is taking enough leave to see me through my surgery and leave me in my mother's capable hands. Blessing are raining upon me. I deserve none of them, so.... thank you Jesus!!!!!!
Work immediately became my other large stress factor. We are a small company therefore I immediately began to stress over not having pay and losing my job. It was groundless. Less than an hour after I told my boss, I had company support. I won't discuss that support here because I refuse to disclose info about my company, as they have completely and totally earned my loyalty....forever. All I can say is ......... I am blessed.
So next Monday, on the 19th, if you get a minute, say a little prayer with my name on it for me. But know that I'm blessed beyond my comprehension and the Lord knew better than I what I would need. Everything has fallen into place so much better than I could ever plan it.
Walking on faith.......... the only solution for the stressed, worried and well....... me.
We'll return to our regular programming shortly.
You just won't believe some of the stuff that comes up around here.......
Hugs and kisses,
Hope4Grace
For months I've moaned loudly about being stuck in Utah. Oh how very little did I know. We made the decision to begin the process of a family move. We put the house on the market, we prepped the family and the kids. Dave has been looking for rental houses in his area. We thought we were on the road.
However, we also made the decision to put the whole she-bang in the Lord's hands and walk on faith. First and foremost because stress does not do my body good. The worst thing for my stomach problem is stress. So putting it on his plate, began to take the pressure off mine.
Except last week I realized quickly that we can't plan for everything. Really you can't. And I had an ah-ha moment and then hit my knees.
Let me back up, beginning in April I started having some bothersome health issues that I started haunting my doc with. Then in early August, I took a softball to the stomach. It was a beautiful pitch if I do say so myself, and he hit a beautiful line drive, straight into my stomach. Days later, I went to the doc for pain and swelling. And they sent me straight for a CAT scan. Which came back as clear for internal injury but included a growth of some sort on an ovary (if you're male, go throw up now and come back tomorrow).
My doctor promptly washed his hands and sent me to a specialist. Who sent me for another CAT and ultrasound. Fun times peeps, fun times. But she gave me a list of possible outcomes depending upon test results. Which I processed a little, tiny bit and moved on.
Last Wednesday I met with my doctor and before leaving her office, we scheduled my hysterectomy. For this coming Monday.
I'm 32 years old so I was in a bit of denial, but as Dave says.......I have my kids, we weren't having more.......I won't miss those girlie parts. So after having a parking lot anxiety attack, I put my big girl panties on and reminded myself that I was being proactive, I was being a grown up and I made the choice to do this right, not draw it out.
That being said, I went about notifying my family. It took my mother less than 20 minutes to file for a leave of absence from her job to move in with me to take care of me. She is my hero. I strive to be the mother that she is. With that one stroke, she removed 75% of my concerns. My kids and I would be taken care of since Dave has to work, in another state. Dave is taking enough leave to see me through my surgery and leave me in my mother's capable hands. Blessing are raining upon me. I deserve none of them, so.... thank you Jesus!!!!!!
Work immediately became my other large stress factor. We are a small company therefore I immediately began to stress over not having pay and losing my job. It was groundless. Less than an hour after I told my boss, I had company support. I won't discuss that support here because I refuse to disclose info about my company, as they have completely and totally earned my loyalty....forever. All I can say is ......... I am blessed.
So next Monday, on the 19th, if you get a minute, say a little prayer with my name on it for me. But know that I'm blessed beyond my comprehension and the Lord knew better than I what I would need. Everything has fallen into place so much better than I could ever plan it.
Walking on faith.......... the only solution for the stressed, worried and well....... me.
We'll return to our regular programming shortly.
You just won't believe some of the stuff that comes up around here.......
Hugs and kisses,
Hope4Grace
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Really? Seriously?
Is this really what we as a nation have come to stand for?
Please take a moment of your day to read this article.
As a military family (no longer active duty) I must say this sickened me this morning. For a country that was built upon God (in God we trust, ring a bell?) this is what we have allowed. We have allowed politicians to go this far. It's bad enough that prayer and Jesus are no longer allowed in schools (although the LDS prophet is allowed in my kids' school) but are we as a nation determined to erase him from our very sight? I have seen this cross in person and let me tell you, it's a beautiful sight on the horizon. A beautiful tribute to the service of our military hereos present and past. Please remember this today.........please......
America is at the mall, on the phone and texting.....but our military is at war. Stand behind them or get your ass in front of them on the lines.
Have a blessed day.
Frustrated but honored to be an American,
Hope4Grace
Please take a moment of your day to read this article.As a military family (no longer active duty) I must say this sickened me this morning. For a country that was built upon God (in God we trust, ring a bell?) this is what we have allowed. We have allowed politicians to go this far. It's bad enough that prayer and Jesus are no longer allowed in schools (although the LDS prophet is allowed in my kids' school) but are we as a nation determined to erase him from our very sight? I have seen this cross in person and let me tell you, it's a beautiful sight on the horizon. A beautiful tribute to the service of our military hereos present and past. Please remember this today.........please......
America is at the mall, on the phone and texting.....but our military is at war. Stand behind them or get your ass in front of them on the lines.
Have a blessed day.
Frustrated but honored to be an American,
Hope4Grace
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Dear Stalker:
to clear up a few things.......
- yes, I had a dream about a guy in a wet shirt........you would read that post huh?
- yes, I've been moody, grumpy, and short tempered
- yes, it's been 5 weeks since I had a hug
- yes, it's nice to see your face too
- yes, I've booked your flights home this weekend
- and yes, I've missed you
- yes, I had a dream about a guy in a wet shirt........you would read that post huh?
- yes, I've been moody, grumpy, and short tempered
- yes, it's been 5 weeks since I had a hug
- yes, it's nice to see your face too
- yes, I've booked your flights home this weekend
- and yes, I've missed you
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Today's Offering
today's song that won't stop prancing it's way through my skull....
Finally got enough sleep it seems. Feel normal for first time in weeks, except now don't want to eat as to ruin the bliss.....sigh....
Finally got enough sleep it seems. Feel normal for first time in weeks, except now don't want to eat as to ruin the bliss.....sigh....
