Me in a Dress...
Then I made friends with the girls in the dressing room and we took pictures, cause I apparently am kin to my mother!
Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts
Monday, February 28, 2011
Rare Rare Sighting.....
Then I made friends with the girls in the dressing room and we took pictures, cause I apparently am kin to my mother!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
What I do when I can't sleep
Since there are times when I'm zoned out and can't sleep, I look up silly stuff. Tonight's feast of giggles from googling "bad parking notes"......I needed new inspiration cause i keep paper and pens in my console just for this exact reason!!!!! Some of my new ideas, wonder if it's bad taste to pre-write some up just to have handy?
Monday, November 15, 2010
8 baths
When I'm sick or feeling crappy, my solution is always the same: I take a hot bath.
I've had 8 today and it's only 5 pm.
Good grief, do you need any more proof that I have a problem with impulse control?
I was suppose to write a paper today. It didn't happen. Blame the meds, but with the plague in full control of self it just wasn't going to happen. So instead I did all the laundry, cleaned the bathrooms, did the grocery shopping, played with Murphy and finished my book. I suck, royally.
So now I'll be up tonight as all I have written on this paper is an outline. It's due tomorrow night, but hey I work well under pressure. I'm gonna need alot of caffine and chocolate.
We are also in the middle of piano lessons as I type this; it's not my turn yet. But since I'm such an OCD control freak, overachiever....I put in two hours of practice today. I really have no excuse other than I want to eventually play well and it's kinda like school; I have to do my very best. I am beginning to bore myself. But I can play Jolly Ole Saint Nick very very well, so ha! My kids? Not so much at all. There, as long as I play better than my kids, I'm good.
I have issues.
** update: I just lysol-ed Dave's laptop, calculator, and was tempted to spray his silverware before he started eating. It's getting rough over here. Princess is looking green and has throat/ear pain. Help!
I've had 8 today and it's only 5 pm.
Good grief, do you need any more proof that I have a problem with impulse control?
I was suppose to write a paper today. It didn't happen. Blame the meds, but with the plague in full control of self it just wasn't going to happen. So instead I did all the laundry, cleaned the bathrooms, did the grocery shopping, played with Murphy and finished my book. I suck, royally.
So now I'll be up tonight as all I have written on this paper is an outline. It's due tomorrow night, but hey I work well under pressure. I'm gonna need alot of caffine and chocolate.
We are also in the middle of piano lessons as I type this; it's not my turn yet. But since I'm such an OCD control freak, overachiever....I put in two hours of practice today. I really have no excuse other than I want to eventually play well and it's kinda like school; I have to do my very best. I am beginning to bore myself. But I can play Jolly Ole Saint Nick very very well, so ha! My kids? Not so much at all. There, as long as I play better than my kids, I'm good.
I have issues.
** update: I just lysol-ed Dave's laptop, calculator, and was tempted to spray his silverware before he started eating. It's getting rough over here. Princess is looking green and has throat/ear pain. Help!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Be Careful What I Wish For
I really gotta be careful with my prayers. Although I really wish I had the sense of humor to go with my blessings.
I got up this morning and lost my mind. Winter has officially come to South East Texas. Good grief, I got up to colder than a witches you know what outside, but after taking Murphy out for a quick tinkle and literally drug him back inside cause I was freezing. That's when I realized it was colder in the house than outside. Shit! This is a problem. I'm already always cold anyway, dang anemia. The heater was on and running but it was below 60 in my house.
I could see my freaking breath. I was like Puff the Cranky Dragon. So I did what any good mom would do. I clicked on the girls' bathroom heater, drug them from their beds at 555 am and tossed them into the bathroom with a picnic breakfast and their school clothes. The ran them out of the house just as the bus was pulling up. Getting them on the bus was seriously like herding wet cats but I managed.
My poor landlord (you know I ain't buying again till we sell in Utah and finally pick a place to stay forever....cause we b pikeys) was having a rough week so I volunteered to attempt to figure out the problem via phone. I climbed into the attic (without falling off the attic ladder this time!!!!!) and flipped switches on the furnace thingy, I checked breakers and using a butter knife repeatitively smacking the thermostat..... nothing. Shit.
And the reason he couldn't get an AC/Heat person to call him back?
Ummmmm it's opening day of deer season....... in south east Texas. Hell, I'm pretty sure some of the locals drug themselves out of a hospital bed to strap on the camo. It's a pretty big deal here.
Finally, we got a guy out here... took him 11 minutes to go from truck to house door though cause he was old and creaky like my Great Aunt Hazel's rocker. But he fixed the heat, woohoo.
And now it's Miami in this b*tch.
So really, remember to be careful what you pray for........... good grief, I'm gonna have to sleep in my bikini.... snort, right like I own one.
Excuse me, I gotta put more sunscreen on the kids.
I got up this morning and lost my mind. Winter has officially come to South East Texas. Good grief, I got up to colder than a witches you know what outside, but after taking Murphy out for a quick tinkle and literally drug him back inside cause I was freezing. That's when I realized it was colder in the house than outside. Shit! This is a problem. I'm already always cold anyway, dang anemia. The heater was on and running but it was below 60 in my house.
I could see my freaking breath. I was like Puff the Cranky Dragon. So I did what any good mom would do. I clicked on the girls' bathroom heater, drug them from their beds at 555 am and tossed them into the bathroom with a picnic breakfast and their school clothes. The ran them out of the house just as the bus was pulling up. Getting them on the bus was seriously like herding wet cats but I managed.
My poor landlord (you know I ain't buying again till we sell in Utah and finally pick a place to stay forever....cause we b pikeys) was having a rough week so I volunteered to attempt to figure out the problem via phone. I climbed into the attic (without falling off the attic ladder this time!!!!!) and flipped switches on the furnace thingy, I checked breakers and using a butter knife repeatitively smacking the thermostat..... nothing. Shit.
And the reason he couldn't get an AC/Heat person to call him back?
Ummmmm it's opening day of deer season....... in south east Texas. Hell, I'm pretty sure some of the locals drug themselves out of a hospital bed to strap on the camo. It's a pretty big deal here.
Finally, we got a guy out here... took him 11 minutes to go from truck to house door though cause he was old and creaky like my Great Aunt Hazel's rocker. But he fixed the heat, woohoo.
And now it's Miami in this b*tch.
So really, remember to be careful what you pray for........... good grief, I'm gonna have to sleep in my bikini.... snort, right like I own one.
Excuse me, I gotta put more sunscreen on the kids.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
I hate Houston
Bastards.
So I'm the one out in the rain this morning, gently working my car over with a cotton ball and some paint thinner getting the green paint removed.
Good grief.
The only drawback to a fabulous weekend.
One word: Griswalds
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
I'm Grounded
So if I haven't called you, it's cause I'm grounded....Dave theatened to take away my phone. Apparently I'm using ALL of our plan minutes and was like 650 texts over my limit. So in answer.....I got creative. Since we be on the big conglomerate discount of his previous employer and we don't want to mess with our plan and pay more....I have taken extreme measures.
I upped myself to the super duper teen text plan.....hello 5k texts a month. Since they backdated this, it saved us about ohhhh $300....What I text alot. I live, I text. Period.
Then I actually added people to my friends/family list.
Then I got vonage for dirt cheap a month (less than one family meal out at Sonic) and the plus side is unlimited calls and surprise.........a local number. It's been a long time since I've had a local number for where I actually live. Cool.
The downside: I just plugged it into the wall earlier and sent out the notify everyone I know email when the damn thing rang and I about peed my pants. Thanks Mary, for actually following directions and calling me at home, YOU GO GIRL. However, close miss aside.....the children spotted the new phone on the table about 2 seconds after they walked in. Damn.......I can expect a million little girls to start calling us tomorrow......sigh. Oh well, it's what the dang thing is for.
So if you call me, call me at home....seriously or he'll run over my phone if I exceed my minutes again and then I'll die....cause I live....I text....therefore I live.
(and we wonder where the baby gets her dramatic flair from)
I upped myself to the super duper teen text plan.....hello 5k texts a month. Since they backdated this, it saved us about ohhhh $300....What I text alot. I live, I text. Period.
Then I actually added people to my friends/family list.
Then I got vonage for dirt cheap a month (less than one family meal out at Sonic) and the plus side is unlimited calls and surprise.........a local number. It's been a long time since I've had a local number for where I actually live. Cool.
The downside: I just plugged it into the wall earlier and sent out the notify everyone I know email when the damn thing rang and I about peed my pants. Thanks Mary, for actually following directions and calling me at home, YOU GO GIRL. However, close miss aside.....the children spotted the new phone on the table about 2 seconds after they walked in. Damn.......I can expect a million little girls to start calling us tomorrow......sigh. Oh well, it's what the dang thing is for.
So if you call me, call me at home....seriously or he'll run over my phone if I exceed my minutes again and then I'll die....cause I live....I text....therefore I live.
(and we wonder where the baby gets her dramatic flair from)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
So I Threw Up
I have this thing for shoes......I think that is a well documented fact. Another horrible confession is my love of purses. I collect them and unless they are seriously worn I keep them (until Dave sees the full purse box and makes me weed some out).
I love purses from expensive designers, I love purses from feed stores, I love purses from the clearance rack at JC Penneys. I'm totally not prejudice from where my purses come from. However, I like a purse that is a little odd, a little distinctive, some might say a little ugly but I have my own style.
So this weekend, while my girl was visiting we were talking purses and I told this story....
I have been given my four most expensive purses. I didn't personally buy them, cause I'm so dang frugal that I have a hard time parting with alot of money for a purse, even if I do lust after them. The problem is that my purse fetish has become kinda of well known fact.
The King Ranch purse: purchased by the husband for my anniversary one year. Cause he knows me, and spoils me. I still carry it.
The Brighton bag: a parting gift from the board of directions I served when we got military orders to take us out of state. Gorgeous purse, still looks brand new, still carry it.
The Michael Kors purse: passed to me via a girlfriend who didnt' care for the color....it's the one I'm carrying now.
However it's the last one that made me sick, seriously!
Two years ago, the VP that was one of my supervisors went overseas on vacation with his wife. A few short weeks later, wife came into the office handing out sweet little bags of candles and goodies to everyone. Except me. She smiled, hugged me and left me a box. I opened it and about died. It was a great knockoff version of a Louis Vuitton purse. The VP and his wife made my day just by thinking of me but I haven't really carried it because it looks a little dainty to carry my gun around with me.
Except when my girl was here, she and I were talking bags and I mentioned this one. She pulled it out of the top of my closet and examined it. Then looked up the serial number from the inside of bag.
It's a real Louis Vuitton bag.
That's sat for 2 years in my closet.
I moved it to the safe.
Crickey!
I love purses from expensive designers, I love purses from feed stores, I love purses from the clearance rack at JC Penneys. I'm totally not prejudice from where my purses come from. However, I like a purse that is a little odd, a little distinctive, some might say a little ugly but I have my own style.
So this weekend, while my girl was visiting we were talking purses and I told this story....
I have been given my four most expensive purses. I didn't personally buy them, cause I'm so dang frugal that I have a hard time parting with alot of money for a purse, even if I do lust after them. The problem is that my purse fetish has become kinda of well known fact.
The King Ranch purse: purchased by the husband for my anniversary one year. Cause he knows me, and spoils me. I still carry it.
The Brighton bag: a parting gift from the board of directions I served when we got military orders to take us out of state. Gorgeous purse, still looks brand new, still carry it.
The Michael Kors purse: passed to me via a girlfriend who didnt' care for the color....it's the one I'm carrying now.
However it's the last one that made me sick, seriously!
Two years ago, the VP that was one of my supervisors went overseas on vacation with his wife. A few short weeks later, wife came into the office handing out sweet little bags of candles and goodies to everyone. Except me. She smiled, hugged me and left me a box. I opened it and about died. It was a great knockoff version of a Louis Vuitton purse. The VP and his wife made my day just by thinking of me but I haven't really carried it because it looks a little dainty to carry my gun around with me.
Except when my girl was here, she and I were talking bags and I mentioned this one. She pulled it out of the top of my closet and examined it. Then looked up the serial number from the inside of bag.
It's a real Louis Vuitton bag.
That's sat for 2 years in my closet.
I moved it to the safe.
Crickey!
Monday, September 27, 2010
What is Wrong With Me?
So I am a glutten for punishment. I have had two calls this past week and I can't say no to anything anymore. Not only am I volunteering to coordinate the picture day at the primary school this week but I'm also attempting to create a Halloween door for Duchess' classroom to be in the competition for homecoming week. If only I were a creative freaking person. What the hell if wrong with me?
Good grief.
Seriously I have to get a freaking clue. So I have decided to attempt to make a paper mache project for this damn door. Things are going to get really interesting around here.
I'm gonna run up and grab some goo-be-gone just in case I accidently glue myself to the countertop again.
Good grief.
Seriously I have to get a freaking clue. So I have decided to attempt to make a paper mache project for this damn door. Things are going to get really interesting around here.
I'm gonna run up and grab some goo-be-gone just in case I accidently glue myself to the countertop again.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Dang I hate when I do that...
I did a boo-boo today. I forgot to eat again. Which explained the sudden dizzy spell and fog that came over me earlier. Man, what a pain. So after some GF toast and bacon I realized that I need to do a better job of keeping food that I can eat on short notice in the house. Or more realistically I need to make more food to keep in the fridge to heat up on a moment's notice.
I didn't eat dinner since the kids had mac/cheese and I forgot to eat this morning before we headed out to the library and the local soccer games to cheer on the girls' friends.
Like I said, opps.
So I'm making some potato salad and I'm rounding out my grocery list so I don't stuck again with nothing in the house that I can eat last minute.
Being GF is certainly a pain, cause I can swear to you that before being GF I NEVER forgot to eat. Now it happens alot.
But I have a pot of potatos on the stove and I'm making some purple hull peas with bacon for dinner yum! I have to dethaw the meat but we're getting there.
Our goal is to get the house cleaned and dinner done so we can introduce the neighbor girls (plus my two) to the basics of softball. I'm slowly being talked into coaching a 11-13 yr old softball team come this spring. So if I'm coaching then my kid will be on my team and since she's never really played....I have alot of work to do.
Mental note: go next weekend and purchase a longer bat and some batting gloves. We're about to get serious up in this %^!#$.
I didn't eat dinner since the kids had mac/cheese and I forgot to eat this morning before we headed out to the library and the local soccer games to cheer on the girls' friends.
Like I said, opps.
So I'm making some potato salad and I'm rounding out my grocery list so I don't stuck again with nothing in the house that I can eat last minute.
Being GF is certainly a pain, cause I can swear to you that before being GF I NEVER forgot to eat. Now it happens alot.
But I have a pot of potatos on the stove and I'm making some purple hull peas with bacon for dinner yum! I have to dethaw the meat but we're getting there.
Our goal is to get the house cleaned and dinner done so we can introduce the neighbor girls (plus my two) to the basics of softball. I'm slowly being talked into coaching a 11-13 yr old softball team come this spring. So if I'm coaching then my kid will be on my team and since she's never really played....I have alot of work to do.
Mental note: go next weekend and purchase a longer bat and some batting gloves. We're about to get serious up in this %^!#$.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Another Reason To Dislike :( Utah
So I'm trying yet again to get the kids' grades from their former elementary school in Utah. The school board doesn't have them and apparently the school employees are chilling and not answering the phone. Cause they packet they sent me was filled with useless information. Fun! Not.
So it's cool for a SCHOOL to handwrite grades into files if they don't understand the grading system the district has in place.
And I thought I was now living in redneckville....turns out I moved from there too.
Urgh
So it's cool for a SCHOOL to handwrite grades into files if they don't understand the grading system the district has in place.
And I thought I was now living in redneckville....turns out I moved from there too.
Urgh
Monday, May 31, 2010
Robert aka guy with afro
So Saturday morning at the very butt crack of dawn I met Robert at the gym. Robert is young, eager and has an afro....more curls than muscles if that is possible. He also calls me Mrs. *^$%#@*. Nothing cements reaching middle age like a fitness trainer who calls you by your proper married name. It's been forever since I've been called that, nice ring...I like it.
So I get there, and several things of importance happened or didn't happen:
- I managed to get there on time, he was late (unusual for me)
- I didn't throw attitude but meekly followed him to the weights. Seems he and Dave had talked about my aversion (okay, my inability to correctly operate) machines so most of my exercises are being done with free weights
- I didn't drop any weights on my head
- I am a weakling, ranging from 5-15 lb dumbbells depending on the exercise
- He wrote me a list to follow for my solo workouts but they list the exercise by it's offical name: problematic as I nickname things and need stick figure drawings
- During squats, I fell over (yeah you read that right)
- During squats I didn't toot which is what I was SO worried about, yeah me, way to NOT become notorious at the gym
- During a leggie lifty thingy machine attempt, I managed to get stuck in a machine...you sit down, slid a level which drops a leggy thingy and then slide legs in, too complicated for me apparently
- During leg presses, I got pissed off and scolded an old guy who left 45 lb weights on the machine insuring that I couldn't load my measly 15 on there because I couldn't lift the 45 lbs and had to make Robert....RUDE GYM MANNERS you old stinker
- On a leg lift stand, I managed to wobble out 10 reps, slid off only to have an old old old lady jump up there and bang out 50, there is apparently no limits to my shame
- I fell off the exercise ball attempting to do crunches
- Robert began shaking his head sadly ALOT, which makes me think that he's thinking that Dave has stuck him with the worst client on earth
- I forgot to shave under my arms before going to the gym therefore ensuring that I had something to look at during every rep with the arm weights in front of the mirror, ewwwww
- The tiny little teenaged girl at the front desk was wearing the same shirt I was, hers looked ALOT better even if I filled mine out alot more
All in all, I came home sore but happy with the effort and progress I made. My knee hurts but I got mes a brace and I'm looking forward to getting back in there tomorrow. Go me. Now, if only I could get modivated to do my stretches today since the gym is closed. If I don't stretch I'll end up like yesterday where I couldn't lift my arms above my head and my butt was too sore to sit on anything that didn't have some give to it.
Pray that I find the stamina and courage to keep going. I'd really like to nail this whole mentality thing and stay my happy butt in the gym.
And thank you Lord, I only have 3 more sessions with Robert, but then gasp I'm on my own which means Dave takes over. Oh help me Lord.
So I get there, and several things of importance happened or didn't happen:
- I managed to get there on time, he was late (unusual for me)
- I didn't throw attitude but meekly followed him to the weights. Seems he and Dave had talked about my aversion (okay, my inability to correctly operate) machines so most of my exercises are being done with free weights
- I didn't drop any weights on my head
- I am a weakling, ranging from 5-15 lb dumbbells depending on the exercise
- He wrote me a list to follow for my solo workouts but they list the exercise by it's offical name: problematic as I nickname things and need stick figure drawings
- During squats, I fell over (yeah you read that right)
- During squats I didn't toot which is what I was SO worried about, yeah me, way to NOT become notorious at the gym
- During a leggie lifty thingy machine attempt, I managed to get stuck in a machine...you sit down, slid a level which drops a leggy thingy and then slide legs in, too complicated for me apparently
- During leg presses, I got pissed off and scolded an old guy who left 45 lb weights on the machine insuring that I couldn't load my measly 15 on there because I couldn't lift the 45 lbs and had to make Robert....RUDE GYM MANNERS you old stinker
- On a leg lift stand, I managed to wobble out 10 reps, slid off only to have an old old old lady jump up there and bang out 50, there is apparently no limits to my shame
- I fell off the exercise ball attempting to do crunches
- Robert began shaking his head sadly ALOT, which makes me think that he's thinking that Dave has stuck him with the worst client on earth
- I forgot to shave under my arms before going to the gym therefore ensuring that I had something to look at during every rep with the arm weights in front of the mirror, ewwwww
- The tiny little teenaged girl at the front desk was wearing the same shirt I was, hers looked ALOT better even if I filled mine out alot more
All in all, I came home sore but happy with the effort and progress I made. My knee hurts but I got mes a brace and I'm looking forward to getting back in there tomorrow. Go me. Now, if only I could get modivated to do my stretches today since the gym is closed. If I don't stretch I'll end up like yesterday where I couldn't lift my arms above my head and my butt was too sore to sit on anything that didn't have some give to it.
Pray that I find the stamina and courage to keep going. I'd really like to nail this whole mentality thing and stay my happy butt in the gym.
And thank you Lord, I only have 3 more sessions with Robert, but then gasp I'm on my own which means Dave takes over. Oh help me Lord.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Another "Look" From the Man
So Dave constantly tells me I'm too naive and that I need to be more aware of my surroundings. This from the guy who is more than happy to run me through burglar simulations". Nothing says I love you like teaching you the best home defensive positions in the middle of the night. So yesterday came another moment in my life where he stood with his hands on his hips, lips pursed, worry wrinkles on the forehead and just shook his head, this = the look. To be honest, I don't get this look alot but I hate getting this look.
Sigh. So I ran by Sonic before we got home to grab some drinks and some sonic bags of ice when it happened. Broad daylight, decent neighborhood...I pull in lower my window and push the button. Since Murphy was along, Princess had her rear window down half way cause he likes to do the "hanging out the window with my beard blowing in the breeze" thing. A youngish man suddenly appeared at that back window and got this far "Do you have a couple dol....ARGH" before Murphy had to be dragged back through the open window cause he was trying to eat this guy. The guy wanted money and was approaching a car full of women. Turns out he had no clue that the car also held 20 lbs of "not my family" people hater Murphy. Turns out my little "snottie" dog is bred to be protective and I'm so glad he is.
But when I was explaining to Dave why there was a tiny extra steak on the grill last night, for Murphy, the hero....I got the look.
So today I promise, once again, to be more aware of my surroundings. I really need to start thinking like a cop, suspcious of everyone and everything. I tend to think more like a CareBear, all glitter, clouds, and songs. There's gotta be a happy medium.
Sigh. So I ran by Sonic before we got home to grab some drinks and some sonic bags of ice when it happened. Broad daylight, decent neighborhood...I pull in lower my window and push the button. Since Murphy was along, Princess had her rear window down half way cause he likes to do the "hanging out the window with my beard blowing in the breeze" thing. A youngish man suddenly appeared at that back window and got this far "Do you have a couple dol....ARGH" before Murphy had to be dragged back through the open window cause he was trying to eat this guy. The guy wanted money and was approaching a car full of women. Turns out he had no clue that the car also held 20 lbs of "not my family" people hater Murphy. Turns out my little "snottie" dog is bred to be protective and I'm so glad he is.
But when I was explaining to Dave why there was a tiny extra steak on the grill last night, for Murphy, the hero....I got the look.
So today I promise, once again, to be more aware of my surroundings. I really need to start thinking like a cop, suspcious of everyone and everything. I tend to think more like a CareBear, all glitter, clouds, and songs. There's gotta be a happy medium.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Double Jeopardy
You know you can't be tried for the same crime in the same jurisdiction after an aquittial or mistrial...the courts basically get one shot at you. Lucky crinimals, Dave got two shots at me. He drug, um took us hiking again yesterday after church. My poor legs are like rocks right now and my arms are noodles and there is an insect bite on the back of my neck that is starting to look like the growth of my second evil head. It was so much fun.
I can totally see his point. We got up and ran our errands. Dropped off all our dirty clothes for the laundry lady and then made it to church on time. After church we did up Kohls for mommy some hiking shorts so I didn't have a repeat of the sweaty jeans jiggle. It was at Kohls that I actually had some mommy time. We split with him and the girls heading off. I tried on about a million pairs of shorts (being so short I buy my shorts in the teen department which means elbowing through giggling fashion divas and trying to find something my butt didn't hang out of, seriously what is it with girl fashions lately.....letting our kids put it all on display) and after doing all that trying on finally settled on a fab pair of camo shorts and a pair of nylon shorts. I get to the register pay for my poop and set out the truck hoping they hadn't lost patience with me. I had my speech prepared about the million pairs of shorts I had to weed through.
Except they weren't in the truck, they were inside. I ran inside to meet them and came up on the thunderstorm face that is my husband when he is seriously pissed. Both of my children had the guilty look, as if they'd just boosted some tvs from their local electronic store. There is such a thing as mentally girding your loins, and yep that is just what I did. I mentally prepared myself for what was to come, cause it had to be good.
And was it. Seems my husband wanted to try on some t-shirts (cause I'd pointed out earlier that he seemed to wear the same 5 all the time, ignoring the rest of his tshirts cause he didn't really care for them - yep all my fault). He'd gathered some up and then took them to the dressing room where he'd asked the girls to wait on the bench outside the dressing room door for him. As in the bench still in the department store but right outside the dressing room where he could still hear them. It would have been easy cheasy...right. Well before actually going in, he walked over to look at one last shirt and when he turned back, our sweet baby girls were playing cowboy and horse, with Duchess riding Princess piggy back through the mens dressing room. The same mens dressing room that naked men were changing in. Oh brother where art thou? What a mess.
My sweet babies are grounded for a week from tv and frankly they deserve it. We're big on doing what your parents say and so when they out and out disobey like that.....it's gonna hurt. So no Dancing with the Stars, no Survivor...........they are out of luck. Not to mention the lecture on the way you treat a men's dressing room just like a men's bathroom.......off limits.
I was exhausted and ready to nap at this point. But no, we grabbed laundry and put it away then strapped on our new hiking shoes and hit the trail.
This time we took a 2 mile dead end trail. So 4 miles all together. Which wouldn't have hurt so bad if my knee hadn't started aching at the first 1/2 mile, but I sucked it up and went with it. This trail was NOT my favorite. It was wide and sandy which means my feet sunk with every step. I didn't complain constantly like I wanted to, Duchess was doing a fine job of it, but man I wanted to. At our turn around point, we opened our bag to dig out snacks and I was so freaking excited. I had packed a cliff bar I liked and when I opened it, was covered in those tiny little ants we get in the trailer. Damn ants found a way into my sealed cliff bars. I hate ants and it's a constant battle to stay ahead of them in the rv. I was not a happy camper.
Which is why the entire way home, Dave sang cadence songs to the kids to keep our spirits high. Even more hysterical, he tried to rephrase them all so they'd be clean appropriate versions, I have never laughed so much in my entire life. The man just makes my day.
So with my swollen knee, stiff ankles, rock hard thighs and noodle arms I managed to eek out my papers for school by midnight. I'm thoroughly exhausted. And the kids want to go swimming today. I think after school, mommy is taking a big FAT nap.
I have earned it---double jeopardy
I can totally see his point. We got up and ran our errands. Dropped off all our dirty clothes for the laundry lady and then made it to church on time. After church we did up Kohls for mommy some hiking shorts so I didn't have a repeat of the sweaty jeans jiggle. It was at Kohls that I actually had some mommy time. We split with him and the girls heading off. I tried on about a million pairs of shorts (being so short I buy my shorts in the teen department which means elbowing through giggling fashion divas and trying to find something my butt didn't hang out of, seriously what is it with girl fashions lately.....letting our kids put it all on display) and after doing all that trying on finally settled on a fab pair of camo shorts and a pair of nylon shorts. I get to the register pay for my poop and set out the truck hoping they hadn't lost patience with me. I had my speech prepared about the million pairs of shorts I had to weed through.
Except they weren't in the truck, they were inside. I ran inside to meet them and came up on the thunderstorm face that is my husband when he is seriously pissed. Both of my children had the guilty look, as if they'd just boosted some tvs from their local electronic store. There is such a thing as mentally girding your loins, and yep that is just what I did. I mentally prepared myself for what was to come, cause it had to be good.
And was it. Seems my husband wanted to try on some t-shirts (cause I'd pointed out earlier that he seemed to wear the same 5 all the time, ignoring the rest of his tshirts cause he didn't really care for them - yep all my fault). He'd gathered some up and then took them to the dressing room where he'd asked the girls to wait on the bench outside the dressing room door for him. As in the bench still in the department store but right outside the dressing room where he could still hear them. It would have been easy cheasy...right. Well before actually going in, he walked over to look at one last shirt and when he turned back, our sweet baby girls were playing cowboy and horse, with Duchess riding Princess piggy back through the mens dressing room. The same mens dressing room that naked men were changing in. Oh brother where art thou? What a mess.
My sweet babies are grounded for a week from tv and frankly they deserve it. We're big on doing what your parents say and so when they out and out disobey like that.....it's gonna hurt. So no Dancing with the Stars, no Survivor...........they are out of luck. Not to mention the lecture on the way you treat a men's dressing room just like a men's bathroom.......off limits.
I was exhausted and ready to nap at this point. But no, we grabbed laundry and put it away then strapped on our new hiking shoes and hit the trail.
This time we took a 2 mile dead end trail. So 4 miles all together. Which wouldn't have hurt so bad if my knee hadn't started aching at the first 1/2 mile, but I sucked it up and went with it. This trail was NOT my favorite. It was wide and sandy which means my feet sunk with every step. I didn't complain constantly like I wanted to, Duchess was doing a fine job of it, but man I wanted to. At our turn around point, we opened our bag to dig out snacks and I was so freaking excited. I had packed a cliff bar I liked and when I opened it, was covered in those tiny little ants we get in the trailer. Damn ants found a way into my sealed cliff bars. I hate ants and it's a constant battle to stay ahead of them in the rv. I was not a happy camper.
Which is why the entire way home, Dave sang cadence songs to the kids to keep our spirits high. Even more hysterical, he tried to rephrase them all so they'd be clean appropriate versions, I have never laughed so much in my entire life. The man just makes my day.
So with my swollen knee, stiff ankles, rock hard thighs and noodle arms I managed to eek out my papers for school by midnight. I'm thoroughly exhausted. And the kids want to go swimming today. I think after school, mommy is taking a big FAT nap.
I have earned it---double jeopardy
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The Griswalds take to Hiking
So we spent all day on a hiking adventure. Before we even left the house I dropped the poker case (shiny steel) on my foot and did the hop around and punching the wall thing to which Duchess drops her shoes, runs to get a bandaid and is chasing me around in my hopping circle trying to put it on my boo boo. Dave announces that he found the circus and we were worth the entrance price. Turd. Then we all got new hiking shoes and after lunch at Jason's Deli where I had a REAL TUNA SANDWICH on their new yummy, awesome gluten free bread, I damn near cried. I forced myself to eat the entire thing after giving everyone a bite. It was huge and good. So good the manager stopped by to ask if it was okay cause I was sniffling and trying not to cry and I begged for a loaf. Turns out all the "test kitchens" got 2 weeks worth of GF breads and it was only a week into it and they were all almost sold out! So he said tuesday he'd have a loaf to spare when the truck came in. Apparently there are alot of peple like me. I heart Jason's.
Then it was into the woods with Murph-ster. We started (Dave's idea, he was ringmaster of this circus) with a 2 mile path. Me and Duchess in jeans rolled up, Dave and Princess in khaki's. We were covered in sweat by mile 1 and Murphy had gone from "pee tree happy crazy" walking to merely leading at a trot. Then mile 2 saw us dragging Murphy and Duchess. After we stopped for them to snack, where Dave realized that he'd eatten the only snack that didn't have wheat in it, we hit the bathrooms at the ranger station and headed on for another path. The next one about killed me. A "fitness" path, whoever thought of this is an evil person who really needs to be run over with my car. Every 1/4 of a mile there was a workout station (stretching posts, push up bars, pull up bars, sit up stations, etc) where Dave and the kids were all pumped about trying out etc. Man the 7 bottles of water I'd drank up till then hit and I wound up doing the peepee dance for 2 miles. I was not a happy camper. Too many people on the paths to pee in the woods and my peeps stopping constantly to "fitness". Finally we get back to the truck, hit the ranger station for me to pee....where I had to PEEL my jean capris from my body cause of the sweat! Nasty right? It was only in the mid-70's too. Crazy sweat I did.
Then Dave went to water Murphy and realized that I'd drank 7 of the 9 bottles of water he'd brought. What? My hands were swelling so I needed the water, duh. Besides he was wearing the backpack, can't believe he didn't count them as he was handing them over. So we stopped for Murphy some water, as Dave is in the store buying more water, Murphy empties the contents of his stomach into the backseat of Dave's truck. Little man was clearly not up to such a hike. Spoiled dog.
I'm pretty sure I was snoring and drooling in the front seat off and on the way home too.
But we finally got home and showered where I promptly about died from hunger, remember they ate my snack. I ate like a trucker for dinner then promptly fell into a coma. I'm exhausted....but after church we're doing it again. I think there is something wrong with us.
Then it was into the woods with Murph-ster. We started (Dave's idea, he was ringmaster of this circus) with a 2 mile path. Me and Duchess in jeans rolled up, Dave and Princess in khaki's. We were covered in sweat by mile 1 and Murphy had gone from "pee tree happy crazy" walking to merely leading at a trot. Then mile 2 saw us dragging Murphy and Duchess. After we stopped for them to snack, where Dave realized that he'd eatten the only snack that didn't have wheat in it, we hit the bathrooms at the ranger station and headed on for another path. The next one about killed me. A "fitness" path, whoever thought of this is an evil person who really needs to be run over with my car. Every 1/4 of a mile there was a workout station (stretching posts, push up bars, pull up bars, sit up stations, etc) where Dave and the kids were all pumped about trying out etc. Man the 7 bottles of water I'd drank up till then hit and I wound up doing the peepee dance for 2 miles. I was not a happy camper. Too many people on the paths to pee in the woods and my peeps stopping constantly to "fitness". Finally we get back to the truck, hit the ranger station for me to pee....where I had to PEEL my jean capris from my body cause of the sweat! Nasty right? It was only in the mid-70's too. Crazy sweat I did.
Then Dave went to water Murphy and realized that I'd drank 7 of the 9 bottles of water he'd brought. What? My hands were swelling so I needed the water, duh. Besides he was wearing the backpack, can't believe he didn't count them as he was handing them over. So we stopped for Murphy some water, as Dave is in the store buying more water, Murphy empties the contents of his stomach into the backseat of Dave's truck. Little man was clearly not up to such a hike. Spoiled dog.
I'm pretty sure I was snoring and drooling in the front seat off and on the way home too.
But we finally got home and showered where I promptly about died from hunger, remember they ate my snack. I ate like a trucker for dinner then promptly fell into a coma. I'm exhausted....but after church we're doing it again. I think there is something wrong with us.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Dear Idiot:
Thank you for taking your sick sorry arse out into public with that horrible cold. Thank you for then breathing on something in the vicinity of me. You thoughtless jerk.
Love Sincerely,
Hope4Grace
brought to you today by Mucinex D, orange juice, naps and snot rags.......
Love Sincerely,
Hope4Grace
brought to you today by Mucinex D, orange juice, naps and snot rags.......
Thursday, January 14, 2010
It will implode
It is toxic and it is so not good for anyone involved. It will implode and I'm just praying for my friends still involved. Be strong guys! I'm praying for you!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
And Then I Puked
When Dave came home last time, he made a miracle. And I tried not to cry, but a tear may have escaped.
He made chicken fried steak. Gluten-free chicken fried steak. For me.
Blessings come in many forms, one is breaded and fried.
It's been a full year since I've had anything like it. He just whipped it up and it was wonderful.
So tonight I tried to recreate, with fried chicken.
I ate too much.
Then I puked.
Lord help me, I have no control.
Amen.
He made chicken fried steak. Gluten-free chicken fried steak. For me.
Blessings come in many forms, one is breaded and fried.
It's been a full year since I've had anything like it. He just whipped it up and it was wonderful.
So tonight I tried to recreate, with fried chicken.
I ate too much.
Then I puked.
Lord help me, I have no control.
Amen.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Strongly Worded Letter...
Rather than drop an F-bomb, I took a different approach today....an email to the entire school board!
Mr. Superintendent and ********* school board,
I am a parent of a fourth grader at *** Elementary. I'm extremely concerned as my fourth grader came home today with the news that the Principal sent them from their class today to yell at their teacher, ******.
I am not happy that my child is being exposed to this!!! I do not feel that the behavior on Mr. BigButtHead reflects the professionalism and maturity that I expect from a principal. I actually spoke with Mr. BigButtHead two weeks ago when I called to express my joy and wonder that my daughter's reading levels and spelling levels have jumped dramatically since the first of the year, I credited (teacher). I found him unresponsive and distant when we spoke. I was very surprised at this as I have always found a principal to be most helpful and concerned with my views and opinions as a parent concerning my children's teachers.
(insert teacher) has been a huge asset this school year to my family. As a dual working family, it is difficult for us to be as active in our children's classrooms as we'd like. However, *** works with us to keep us up-to-date and informed about (daughter's) progress. She has coached me on reading and spelling projects to help (daughter) reach her goal of A's in reading and spelling. We have actually accomplished this!!! That is a huge success for my daughter. She has gained much confidence from reaching this goal.
As a former military family, we have experienced many school districts and since moving to BFE, we were overjoyed with (previous school here). That said, I'm sorely disappointed with (current school) specifically the principal in charge. This issue with (insert teacher) needs to be addressed at the district level. Mr. BigButtHead's actions are reflecting very very poorly on the district! While this is our first year with (current school), I must say that I will remove my children from (current school) if this behavior is allowed to continue. It is unethical, unmoral and unprofessional!
That said, please consider this last thought: Teachers and Staff are tasked with teaching our future, our children...what are they learning through the actions of this principal (which is very much known by these children!). I urge the school board to step in and address this problem immediately before this becomes larger and more visible, as if the picket line today wasn't news worthy enough! While it definitely reflects negatively on Mr. BigButtHead, it is also coloring (our town) and the ********* School District. I would happy to speak with you if you have any questions or concerns. Thank you for allowing me as a parent to have a say in the district which teaches my children!
Best regards,
Hope4Grace
My most dignified letter to date, this is the one I sent, the others were too heavily censored with naughty language not really appropriate to sway school board into listening to me.......sigh. Bullies suck, and my children should NOT be exposed to this. I miss the South.....and I'm glad my hubby isn't home. So if the picket line and calls to the school board fail, tomorrow we'll rinse and repeat with the local news.
Asshats.
Mr. Superintendent and ********* school board,
I am a parent of a fourth grader at *** Elementary. I'm extremely concerned as my fourth grader came home today with the news that the Principal sent them from their class today to yell at their teacher, ******.
I am not happy that my child is being exposed to this!!! I do not feel that the behavior on Mr. BigButtHead reflects the professionalism and maturity that I expect from a principal. I actually spoke with Mr. BigButtHead two weeks ago when I called to express my joy and wonder that my daughter's reading levels and spelling levels have jumped dramatically since the first of the year, I credited (teacher). I found him unresponsive and distant when we spoke. I was very surprised at this as I have always found a principal to be most helpful and concerned with my views and opinions as a parent concerning my children's teachers.
(insert teacher) has been a huge asset this school year to my family. As a dual working family, it is difficult for us to be as active in our children's classrooms as we'd like. However, *** works with us to keep us up-to-date and informed about (daughter's) progress. She has coached me on reading and spelling projects to help (daughter) reach her goal of A's in reading and spelling. We have actually accomplished this!!! That is a huge success for my daughter. She has gained much confidence from reaching this goal.
As a former military family, we have experienced many school districts and since moving to BFE, we were overjoyed with (previous school here). That said, I'm sorely disappointed with (current school) specifically the principal in charge. This issue with (insert teacher) needs to be addressed at the district level. Mr. BigButtHead's actions are reflecting very very poorly on the district! While this is our first year with (current school), I must say that I will remove my children from (current school) if this behavior is allowed to continue. It is unethical, unmoral and unprofessional!
That said, please consider this last thought: Teachers and Staff are tasked with teaching our future, our children...what are they learning through the actions of this principal (which is very much known by these children!). I urge the school board to step in and address this problem immediately before this becomes larger and more visible, as if the picket line today wasn't news worthy enough! While it definitely reflects negatively on Mr. BigButtHead, it is also coloring (our town) and the ********* School District. I would happy to speak with you if you have any questions or concerns. Thank you for allowing me as a parent to have a say in the district which teaches my children!
Best regards,
Hope4Grace
My most dignified letter to date, this is the one I sent, the others were too heavily censored with naughty language not really appropriate to sway school board into listening to me.......sigh. Bullies suck, and my children should NOT be exposed to this. I miss the South.....and I'm glad my hubby isn't home. So if the picket line and calls to the school board fail, tomorrow we'll rinse and repeat with the local news.
Asshats.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
My other name is Wrath.....
I'm so seriously pissed.
We have worked our tails off on our yard....and it was going great. Until my main sprinkler valve cracked. Thus the story begins.
It was the sprinkler valve that controls all the lines and was put in by the builders with the front and side yards before we bought our house. It was labeled a self-draining system. But we winterized it anyway by draining the lines before the snow kicked in last winter.
Apparently you have to have a special tool to drain the actual valve too, or it will freeze and crack. Like mine did. And worse, it can blow a pipe that leads out of it to the front lawn sprinklers.
Guess what?
My line cracked and blew. But since it's underground we didn't know until we went to replace the valve regulator today. And bam......there's an underground marsh in my flowerbeds up front.
Warranty peeps? Doing their very best to NOT ACCEPT any blame and then rush off the phone.
So thankfully since my brother is in town and The Man is out of state still, he's spent most of his day knee deep in mud....fixing it.
Until the fix gave way.......and another marsh of mud filled up.
Tomorrow is another day, pray for me. Cause I've already beat a shrub to death with the pipe wrench after getting off the phone with the warranty guy and then his landscaping guy.
Hell hath no fury like me pissed off and dealing with a situation where I have no control.....geez and I thought I was getting better at the whole vengeance thing.
Guess not. Going to bake my brother a cake, cause he's the bomb and then I'm gonna get some sleep. Gonna pick him up early and start this madness all over again tomorrow.
We have worked our tails off on our yard....and it was going great. Until my main sprinkler valve cracked. Thus the story begins.
It was the sprinkler valve that controls all the lines and was put in by the builders with the front and side yards before we bought our house. It was labeled a self-draining system. But we winterized it anyway by draining the lines before the snow kicked in last winter.
Apparently you have to have a special tool to drain the actual valve too, or it will freeze and crack. Like mine did. And worse, it can blow a pipe that leads out of it to the front lawn sprinklers.
Guess what?
My line cracked and blew. But since it's underground we didn't know until we went to replace the valve regulator today. And bam......there's an underground marsh in my flowerbeds up front.
Warranty peeps? Doing their very best to NOT ACCEPT any blame and then rush off the phone.
So thankfully since my brother is in town and The Man is out of state still, he's spent most of his day knee deep in mud....fixing it.
Until the fix gave way.......and another marsh of mud filled up.
Tomorrow is another day, pray for me. Cause I've already beat a shrub to death with the pipe wrench after getting off the phone with the warranty guy and then his landscaping guy.
Hell hath no fury like me pissed off and dealing with a situation where I have no control.....geez and I thought I was getting better at the whole vengeance thing.
Guess not. Going to bake my brother a cake, cause he's the bomb and then I'm gonna get some sleep. Gonna pick him up early and start this madness all over again tomorrow.
