Don't Be This Person

When I'm medicated I'm a pain in the a&&. I'm also emotional and cry over everything. For crying out loud, I'm writing a paper this morning watching an episode of Making the Team: Dallas Cheerleaders (tv options are slim my friends, real slim) and I just started boo-hooing when one got cut. I seriously have some issues. Then I cried when I realized that Murphy lost his new chew bone and is doing an ADD run around the house in circles trying to find it. Then I cried cause I realized that I'd forgotten to take my meds on time so I feel even worse than I thought possible while waiting on the cold pills to kick in. Seriously, I'm sick of myself at this point. Thank God that Dave is at work and kids are at school.

But I also made the mistake of opening facebook and seeing this posted from someone who I know is having a really rough year: I cried. I so don't want to ever be this person. Even though few people take the time out of their lives to say the little things that mean the most, I want to be one of the few.

"l'm sorry l haven 't talked to you in so long. l feel l've been lost no bearings, no compass. l kept crashing into things, a little crazy, l guess. l've never been lost before. You were my true north l could always steer for home when you were my home. Forgive me for being so angry when you left. l still think some mistake's been made and l'm waiting for God to take it back. But l'm doing better now. The work helps me. Most of all, you help me. You came into my dream last night with that smile that always held me like a lover, rocked me like a child. All l remember from the dream is a feeling of peace. l woke up with that feeling and tried to keep it alive as long as l could. l'm writing to tell you that l'm on a journey toward that peace. And to tell you l'm sorry about so many things. 'm sorry l didn 't take better care of you so you never spent a minute being cold or scared or sick.I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find the words to teII you what I was feeIing. I'm sorry I never fixed the screen door. I fixed it now. I'm sorry I ever fought with you. I'm sorry I didn't apoIogize more. I was too proud. I'm sorry I didn't bring you more compIiments on everything you wore and every way you fixed your hair. I'm sorry I didn't hoId on to you with so much strength that even God couIdn't puII you away. ''

Don't be that person, say the things now because tomorrow everything may change.

Oh shit, I'm crying again.

More DayQuil for me

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