Damn U Muffin Top, U Suck

So this was an actual conversation in my house today.........seriously.......

Me, while getting dressed for a church dinner yakking with Dave about a trip next weekend for the sheer purpose of shopping: Soooooo, do you think I should "embrace my fatness" and ......

Him: did you just say "embrace my fatness".... like give it a hug? I'm lost....

Me: Don't interrupt... now seriously should I embrace the fatness and buy jeans that fit since I gained 14 effffing lbs (don't judge that I curse on the way to a church deal) or should I just starve out the fat and continue to wear the snug fitting jeans (when we all know I like my jeans loose and baggy)?

Him: wait, go back to embrace the fatness.....

Me: shut it, what you think? Should I let my muffin top just reach out and slap my hand everytime I reach for something to eat rather than grab my keys and go buy a pack of smokes?

Him: muffin top slap what? (I have to point out that he was laughing hysterically at me at this point and I lost interest in the conversation since he was no help).....

But seriously, I hate hate hate tight jeans. I can not stand them, cause i have a stomach disease and the two do not go well together when I have a flareup. So by habit, I wear jeans that are too big. Except now that I can gained weight (EFFFFFFFF ME) they are tight adn some are too tight.

Like the pair of Big Star jeans that I ADORE..... like seriously, I can't believe I paid that much for them but I adore them and Dave adores me so he bought them before I could have a panic attack over spending that money on somethign that covers my ass. Judge me for that, go for it :)

So those jeans, yeah too tight. Like borderline camel toe..........which a classy southern girl like me? NOT GONNA HAPPEN EVER. So I gave them to Princess.

Yeah, you heard that fair.... I gave that beautiful amazing pair of jeans to Princess..... and they fit perfect for a 13 year old. Fit well but not TOO well...... dayum it. I'm never getting those jeans back but that was a deciding factor in my passing up dessert tonight at the social, especially since I made peach cobbler from scratch for that thing.

Lord, have mercy........

I have that damn muffin top wiht a effffffffffing passion!

It has to die.........

Oh and things are good. Just counting down the days till kids start school. We are staying busy getting all their paperwork in order and their lists made.... and riding bikes and so far I'm down 3 lbs.... but my face is still freaking chubby.....

Crap.

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