I hate wobbling. Yet here I am. I'm not on steady ground lately, and I noticed that I've avoided posting about it, so I'm addressing my cowardly side and hey, life is too short. And I can't afford therapy so here you go.......mental purging to commence.
1. I'm a nervous wreck about school. I was accepted into my new program, but I'm still awaiting my new schedule. School starts back on Oct 2nd. They better hurry. I've called my advisor so often, I think he is screening now. He obviously doesn't like OCD students assigned to him.
2. I'm a nervous wreck about school. I petitioned to change my major from Business Administration to Healthcare Management. Mainly because I've done business.......oh have I done business. I've been a legal secretary, I've been a deputy for a court, I've been the exe admin for a chamber of commerce, I've been a branch manager for the government, I've been a sales coordinator for a large surfwear company, and I'm stuck on the idea that once I finally get that elusive degree, well I'll end up somebody's admin, yet with a degree. Nope, I wanta be something different when I grow up. So I'm switching to a field I've never ever had the ability to work in, mainly cause I hate blood. Healthcare. But business.........does that make sense to anyone but me?
3. I'm a nervous wreck about school. I started my school career back oh about 14 years ago majoring in pre-law. Then I took a break and The Man and I sorta just went about things bass ackwards. Marriage, kids, military, then school. Woohoo, we rock! So a part of me is wondering why I didn't just buckle down somewhere along the way, you know in Texas, or Chicago, or San Diego or Oklahoma and just do it. So now I'm determined. And it's not purty when I'm determined.
4 . I'm a nervous wreck about school. Since I chose a private school with a good rep to finish my degree 95% online (i'll have to do my internship in state, eventually) I have to pay private school prices, OMG, my cheap frugal arse can't take it. But I am going to do this right, so in addition to student aid, I'm going out of pocket this year for tuition. Oh Lord, have pity on me now.
5. My backyard is still not done. That is about all I'm gonna say on that, as I love The Man dearly and bless his heart, it's not his fault it's hunting season or that he has midterms. But the damn yard is still dirt. With a fire pit, but dirt. With no sprinklers in sight, or a fence, or a deck....
6. Once again feeling the oddball at work, so I spend 90% of my day working away listening to my ipod or old tv show reruns on the computer. I've never been so productive. The problem is that I allow myself to worry about something I can't and wouldn't change if I could. Perception. Mainly the perception others have of me. Obviously I have an issue there but I worked really hard to become the person I am, so hang it.
7. Why can't anyone else smell Murphy in my house? Everyone assures me that his presence doesn't make my house smell....but I've just spent the last hour digging out my auto scent sprayers and hanging a few discreetly around the house. Hello morning rain. You smell lovely, with the slight undertone of dog. Damnit.
8. Being hairy......TMI I know but come on.....I can never remember to shave my legs. It's like I have an addiction to the oblivious. I don't notice it till I'm sitting on the couch in my comfy pjs and The Man goes to rub my legs, almost without noticing it. Until he jerks it back, and starts in with the monkey jokes. This could give a girl a complex. So in addition to being perpetually short, I'm also perpetually hairy. Hey, keeping it real here, sorry.
9. Feet........at 31 (yep, proud of those laugh lines baby) my feet are falling apart. I soak the bastards like an old lady at least once a week. I'm constantly rubbing lotion into them, they are still falling apart. I mention it to my doc and *poof* I have an answer. Heels. Seems since I've spent the last 13 years (minus a year for each kid) I've spent 5 days a week, 9 plus hours a day on my feet, in 3 inch heels. And now my feet only hurt when I wear flats, or tennis shoes, or even no heeled boots. I'm like Mrs. Flora (except not glamorous), a wonderful glamorous teacher I once had who wore heels everywhere for the same reason. She even gardened in her heels. At 5'2", okay crap, 5'1.5" I'm destined to wear heels for the rest of my life. I'll be that little old lady in the not matching clothes waddling down main street teetering on her heels, flipping you the finger for driving too fast or having your music up to loud. God help us all.
10. It's late and I have no idea what to cook. They're getting sandwiches and they'll like it. Although I'd probably give them ice cream too if they asked.
Sigh............strangely I feel better!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Wobbling......
