When planning an outing with your kids, do not under any circumstances plan to take them to a concert, an outdoors country act that is very family oriented. Do not give into temptation! Heed my warning, people.
1. You'll rush to get there and forget to take cash ahead of time. Cause in the boonies, they only take cash. You'll go through hell and back to get a $20.00 to pay for those hamburgers and funnel cake (okay the cake was great and worth some of that effort).
2. You'll arrive a little early and then wait 2 hours for the opening act to start. Meanwhile you'll have to entertain your children.
3. It's hot and the wind is just blowing grit so you'll feel like you've spent seven years in the Sahara before any music starts to play.
4. There are only port-a-pottys. Duchess doesn't do port-a-pottys. But then she'll have to go three times before the music starts and you'll have to listen to the drama of "oh-how-mistreated-I-am.
5. The Man who is at work will call and happily say "How is it going?" then ask "Which one is crying?" which rubs your nose into your misfortune even more.
6. Then rude arse people will start packing the area and begin WALKING through on your blanket, with you on it. Princess was then highly encouraged to PUSH any such people ( I love the photo elusive step-dad).
7. You'll shake out your blanket forty times before the music starts. Preferably in the direction of that ole b*tch on the blanket next to you who keeps getting snotty.
8. Your four year old will have to poop at the concert right after the main act begins. You've been there for four hours by this point, so why not poop right?
9. However the line of old people at the port-a-potty enclosure ensures that she is in line with you for a while. To which at one point she looks up and says "My tummy hurts" and then two seconds later says "I didn't make it".
Well crap.
We're going home.
