Contents Under Pressure

I'm a wee bit stressed. Who I am freaking kidding, I'm like a shaken up hot can of coke that is about three seconds from taking your hand off when it explodes! Worse part, I've just turned in my test with what I'd put money on is the best damn argument I've done in my life and nobody but my professor will ever know. Crap. So that is done and the list is still lengthy. I really tend to do my best work under pressure. Although if you know me at all, you know that I'm under pressure 99.9% of the time. There is always a long and lengthy list of things that need my attention be it my babies, their scheduling (I'm STILL behind on dental cleanings damnit) of appointments, tournaments, school functions, lessons, friend get togethers, birthday parties they need to attend, and etc. Or my school, or my work (lord not going there as there is always a long list that I never seem to get to there), or things for Dave or shit sometimes just things for me (like remembering to shave my hairy ass legs before wearing shorts out in public, nice one!). The things that irrate me the most are the stupid stuff, like forgetting to put deo on the grocery list thus necessatating yet another run to Wal-Mart which is a guaranteed $100 right there (if you can walk in and get one thing without remembering 30 others you need, very nicely pull your bottom lip over your head and shut up, cause I can't, lol). I do that constantly. Tonight I reminded myself three times that I need gas and to get a new tire asap. Yep, on the way home I kept saying to the kids over the radio, "what IS that noise" well my car not only blinks a pretty little orange symbol at you but also flashing how many miles till empty and when it's damn near dead from thirst it'll start "dinging" at you. Yep, in the morning I HAVE to stop for gas or I'll be in the morning conference call via the side of the highway. Could someone please call me at 6:50 am and remind my ass to GET GAS.

Yeah, funny thing. I have yet to figure out how to carve stress from my life. I just don't have the bandwidth to do it without something big going without and I refuse to allow that so here we be. So I'm once again forced to try and find stress releases.......... smoking still helps (dont' bother even going there peeps, I already know), zumba landed me back in my knee brace for the last week so no help there, running helps but frankly I have yet to find any time this week and when I can go late at night there's that whole leaving the kids alone while they sleep thing (AINT gonna happen) and I'm truly scared that one of these backwoods Texans coming off the swing shift sleepy will plow my ass over on the side of the road so nope. Baths help but I"m starting to look like a prune, very ashy for a white girl! Yeah, running out of suggestions. Lately I just start thanking God for every tiny little blessing I have until I forget what I was stressing about. Come to think of it, should have tried that first. So if you pass me and my lips are moving, I'm destressing, leave me be.

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I Can...When I Want 2

There are times when you get a sandwich and like it at my house (cough-rv-cough). However, there are times when I whip out a really awesome meal upside your head. I like to keep them guessing frankly, and tonight is one of those nights. After many of the standard rv meals (grilled meat, baked potatoes, beans) I'm laying one upside their head...just to remind them that I'm the end all be all of their dining experiences.

Cajun meatloaf - spicy and sweet at the same time, dayum

Deviled eggs - my famous version with bacon and all kinds of pureed things you'd never guess

Rosemary rolls - gluten free of course

Salad with homemade warm dressing - just plain yum!

Then for dessert, fresh fruit torts.

(I'm blowing on my nails peeps)

Cause while I usually chose to throw something together at the last minute. When I plan ahead and do it right, I can make'em drool.

(hmmmm, this also sounds like my appearance on a usual day...hohum/usual day = jeans/shorts, tshirt, hair in pony or bun and when I plan ahead and put some effort with it...so what if that effort takes 4 hours plus.....I can make my guy stare without blinking. Wait, come to think of it, maybe it's cause I so rarely dress up anymore that makes him stare without blinking.....gotta ponder that.)

Excuse while I go finish off buttering my rolls and tossing my salad dressing together.

And tomorrow? It's homemade chicken parmesan...two good dinners in a row, they are gonna think something is wrong with momma.....it's all about keeping them guessing cause it's sandwiches the rest of the week ;)

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What R U Leaving Behind?

I had to remind myself that this is MY blog hence I get to say what I want, cause frankly.... I am not a fan of President Obama, I'm not a fan of his big ole happy health plan. And since I'm sure I'll now incur a file with the FBI, please be sure to spell my name correct, cause it's a toughy!

Parts are long needed things: insurance for those with pre-existing conditions....long overdue for EVERYONE. But most of the rest, oh boy......

That said, I've always been really open about being a Republican, mainly because I'm very free in my opinions as most people know. I try to live my life by a few simple principles, one of that being: don't give my opinion unless its asked for. That simple little thing has really matured me over the years.

But I gotta say this:

In my opinion, we are breeching new territory and not in a good way. I really dread the rest of this presidency.

I am just one little American, born and raised with expectations of a free country. Today when teaching my kid the different types of government, she totally didn't get that we were a republic.

I will never be famous. Good. I will never make millions. Good.

But I always want to be free, and frankly I always want that for my kids. Less government, please!

Cause otherwise what will we leave our kids to inherit?

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Mirror Mirror

on the wall.....


I'm feeling bitchy

so F it all.....


Seriously there are times when people irrate the utter living crap out of me. Which is seriously not good for their health cause I think we can all agree that from time to time I'm completely "bat shit crazy".

But here's a little secret....

I totally feel refreshed and happy after losing my temper. How utterly unladylike of me.

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Blogging my hysterectomy...Part 2

Recovery was interesting, apparently I was in there for awhile....I have no clue. But I do know this: I embrace sleep. So it is no surprise that the few times I've been under, it takes awhile to get me out, cause I like me some sleep.

The really old old almost dead but sweet lady (another volunteer apparently, man, Utah has the corner on volunteers at the hospital) was in my face and her breath smelled like apples, considering how happy she was I'm pretty sure she was sneaking apple martini's when noone was looking. She kept calling my name.........until I'm pretty sure she gave up and went to have another martini as I went back under.

They must have tired of this and said f- this, let's take her to her room, cause the next time I opened my eyes it was to Dave face, my favorite sight, weaving in and out of focus but then nothing. Not sure how many times I did this or how long, but finally I woke up and my mom was sitting across from me. This time I sorta stayed up enough to ask how it went and where was Dave.

Poor guy had to run a million errands for me before winter hits so he was out tagging my 4 wheel drive jeep for the winter cause apparently it took me forever to wake up. Mom did say he was worried about not being there when I woke up, cause he promised he would but I do remember him being there so I'm totally cool. Actually better than cool, cause he busted his butt to make sure I had everything I could possibly need for the recoup period, including 4 wheel drive.

So the rest of Day 1 was a complete blur. I remember lots of shots, lots of water and a little smuggled Dr. Pepper, lots of everything but no pain, I was floating off in la-la land peeps. It was heaven. I love me some drugs, because I have a very low tolerance for pain and for once somebody listened. Having Dave around helps cause he looks mean and tough and frankly I like that about him.

Towards evening, they brought dinner and my entire universe shifted focus. Food became very important, apparently I was severely dehydrated after my surgery but didn't require a transfusion like we'd thought I might. So that cup of broth was the most important thing, so important that I didn't wait for mom to test it, I grabbed the cup and promptly burned the utter shit out of my tongue........then ate like 4 containers of jello to make up for it.

There really is nothing like being high as a kite and getting everything you want. Seriously I had to merely utter to Dave four hours later that I'd like jello and he involved the nurse in the hunt for jello, cause by god, she needed it right then. And I ate enough jello to sustain me for weeks.

My very good very amazing friend from work came by (either she did, or a spirit who has the same exact haircut and eyeglasses did) and we chatted, I think........not too clear on that. Then my girls came in, during which they got to come over and hug mommy and I tried very hard to look "normal" during their 5 minutes in the room, Dave had brought them in with him to see that I was ok and mom took them home for the night. They had this awesome tag team action that went smoothly, I was very impressed. And very high.

The night was broke up into segments of awakeness where I remember having Dave help me turn slightly or reach my drink and I'm pretty sure at one point, I woke him up to ask him to open the blinds cause I couldn't see (duh, it's dark at 2 am). It was also marked by morphine shots every 4 hours. Left hip, right hip, left hip, right hip. These peeps were very concerned that nobody hurt on their shift.

Finally Tuesday morning broke and with it, I kinda came back to consciousness. The drug trip was fun but I was really ready to get normal. So I waved off the shots and started the pill therapy. Realized I had a cathater which freaked me out, but then when that was gone the trip to the bathroom, where you stand up for the first time?

HELL ON EARTH

I swear everything shifted in my stomach and I completely started freaking out, except the nurse holding me keep sushing me, cause Dave was finally sleeping in the chair across the room. Apparently she thought he looked as cute alseep as I did, but damn lady..........so I had to have my semi-mental-lose-my-shit-breakdown in quiet little raspy gasps........fun times.

But once that was over, I got used to getting in and out of bed. My mom showed up with flowers that were at the front desk for me. I never get flowers..........ever.......unless somebody has f-ed up something horrible........so that was a treat. My work is very thoughtful!

Before I know it, food comes. And it's everything that I can't have. Toast,eggs, milk. Why did I waste 10 minutes filling out those damn forms before hand? So interest of eating, we left.

Yeah, apparently I'd passed all the tests and they kicked my arse out. (Seriously they were worried about N1H1 contamination, so I was okay with leaving without taking home some swine)

So that begins my recoup-ing here at home.........

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Reality Check

So I've reached the point in maturity where I really don't give a shit........about much of anything. If it doesn't revolve around my family or my house......nah......not really caring.

So the response to my trying to post a sign at work that said "I have a headache, please shhhh, shut up" resulted in them leaving me noise cancellation headphones this morning on my desk.

Silence is golden.

I'm one rich b*tch right now peeps.

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Walking on Faith

It's not easy to blindside me.

Over the years my optimism has been dwindling. I tend to look for the worst possible thing/trait/route at from the start now. I hate that. But I struggle to see my glass as half full.

Got blindsided. My basket is full and I'm worried about dropping an egg or two, or dozen.

I keep thinking that the Lord will show me the path we need to be on, especially since the new year we've had one blow after another. Yet, just when I throw my hands in the air and kick a wall thinking that I've hit my limit........another blow.

July has been a doosey of a month.

Princess is having surgery next Monday. Nothing too big just worried about possible complications with her eardrums (she's having her tonsils removed). The hard part was the quickness with how necessary the surgery was. Poor baby. Good news, I have insurance through my job and this is the first time I've really had to depend on it for something other than a doc visit and I must say, I'm not impressed with it. Damn people, with what this surgery is costing me I'm wondering why I pay premiums at all? Don't get me started on insurance outside of the military, I will explode.

I have no daycare as of yesterday. Things went down beyond my control (which I utterly hate, OCD much?) and I lost my shit. I wish I was kidding, but I was a cooked goose yesterday. Went so far to scream "F*ck This" in the middle of my conservative, LDS workplace. Dear God. Yeah, you read that right, I lost it.

But hitting a brick wall and crumbling has its own rewards. The Lord stepped in not 3 hours after I hit my knees at my desk and just gave it up. Cause I couldn't carry it, couldn't fix it, couldn't think. I live in the freaking boonies. I compute to work.......yet there are very very very few daycare options out here. Women with kids stay home. Period. Yet 3 hours after my little mini-nervous-breakdown the Lord gave me a really really good fix.

The kids will be spending the next three months with the photo elusive retired cop stepdad of mine. Cause honestly, there are few few people I trust with them more than daddy. He'll come over to my house and hang with them so they can play outside and etc. It never occurred to me until I looked at his face when he opened the door and gave me a hug. I slept just fine last night.

Dave is testing tomorrow for his certs that will allow him to accept a perm position with that company (he's been contract) which means benefits, more traveling and stability for him. He's worked his butt off and he's doing so well.

Wish I could say the same.

Feeling like a spectator in my own life right now.

But my glass is half full.........

And I am on level 7 of Mafia Wars, which kicks arse considering I just started "killing" last night. Not bad..........not bad.

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Spring came to Utah

Oh how I love me some spring. I never realized that until we moved to this God-forsaken place, but spring is my heart. I love it almost as much as Fall, which is my soul. (Don't blame me, I'm on meds, hence I'm poetic and sappy, kill me now)

But the good news: my yard is blooming..........

No sign of black thumb death anywhere, just tiny little blooms and purty colors. I'm all atwitter. I must say that in the two + years since we moved here, I've never spent this much time outside, but I'm feeling it these days. I have missed it more than I realized. San Diego was climate perfection and I must say that I throughly enjoyed my years there. We were never inside, always enjoying the outdoors. My laundry was always behind and the kitchen was always dirty. Who cares. In Texas, it was too freaking hot to be outside, same backed up chores. I can't wait to blow this popcicle stand but I must say, I'm gonna enjoy it now, cause I have a yard that needs my help. As long as I wear gloves!

Being so far from my bayou home, I have searched high and low looking for plants that remind me of home. Hello honeysuckle.......(and yes, I'm too tired to rotate pics). I planted two vines this afternoon between showers. Since bees frequent these heavenly smelling creatures, I planted them under bedroom windows where our screens will keep them out, but let the smell in. Yum. I planted pine trees too, boy can you see the look on peeps faces in 15 years when those bad boys are 100 ft tall, lol. In the desert......woop wooop.

The good news is that the sprinklers work dude. OMGawd.......it's perfect. And I did it, I did the whole dancing in the sprinklers dance. Yet another thing to add to the neighbor's list of why I am an unappropriate neighbor. (added perk there)

Beautiful!

And since I'm getting my yard in order, it was time to get my kitchen udpated as well. I have been cooking on the same Wareever set of cookware my mom gave me when I got married. 12 years ago. Professional, heavy duty stuff there peeps. Except, I was down to a pot and a skillet. If you cook as much as me, you need more. So I broke down and got a whole new set. These babies are so stinking purty and they cook like a DREAM. Hello.

Did I mention they match my cabinets and are dishwasher safe? Have you noticed that I have serious obsessive problems?

And the fruit of my labor? A GF carrot cake, glorious stolen (borrrowed?) and adjusted for GF cooking from Country Girl.

In other news, I've been hit from every side with issues lately: med stuff, trying to get used to contacts for my new presciption, and school stuff, but thanks to my peeps (read: my mom) who is praying me through. What does not kill us makes us stronger. I've really been avoiding my blog lately because it's hard now that so many in-my-life people know me as Hope4Grace that I find myself hesistant to put stuff out there. So I'm struggling with the need for privacy and the need to vent and write it out of my system, which is what this blog was created for. Do you share all your life on your blog?

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Living Gluten-Free

The one thing that drives me nuts is how little there is out there for those of us who are gluten-free. It's not a lifestyle choice, but a health necessity. Which is why it drives me crazy trying to find places to eat out.

I've noticed that larger cities have websites leading you to lists of restaurants that are gluten free, however even though I'm 40 minutes from a major western city, notta! Nothing! Zip!

I've taken to calling restuarants out of the blue on a whim and asking if they are gluten free friendly. If they ask me to repeat that, I hang up. I tried carrying little notecards in my purse, didn't help. I've found three places to eat that doesn't cripple me afterwards; I stalk them.

Otherwise I've given up eating out. I have learned to carry snacks and beef jerky in my purse. To have a smoothy instead of a meal when I'm stuck out and about. Except I find that there are days I go without eating.

Today was such a day.

Couldn't figure out why I was exhausted, overwhelmed and besieged. I never cry but found myself tearing up all evening. Until I sat down to eat dinner and realized that it was the first thing I'd eaten all day.

I really need a buy a vowel sometimes. And peeps, the blonde ain't natural so we can't blame that can we?

But I will say that everywhere I go, I find more and more peeps who are either GF or have a family member that is GF. I never knew it existed until this past year. Now, it's a huge part of my life.

Having a stomach disease sucks, but honestly if you know someone who has battled stomach problems for years, please encourage them to keep at their doctor. It took six years to find my "problem" and now eight months later, I'm healthier, happier and my life doesn't revolve around my pain.

Except there is no magical cure. Proper diet and stress management are key.

Now if only I could practice what I preach, lol.

Next time your having that slice of pizza or cake, think about me. I'm still learning to bake with rice flour and it sucks. ;)

Over and out.

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Damn

I gotta quit watching that one scene in P.S. I love you. Gonna keep reminding myself that The Man lands tomorrow night. I've done four days of homework in preparation of having a full weekend of fun.

Sorry so short, but I gotta go shave my legs, cause my baby is coming home to visit!

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Thank you

(seems to be the season for open letters!)

Dear Pastor,

Thank you for the moving sermon on Sunday. I needed that.

I had a horrible morning, spent chasing wild little pissy dogs all over my neighborhood before finally getting him back in his harness.

I argued with my children repeatily over their inability to do something when asked or told once, instead of fourteen times.

The Man who sleeps days, yelled at me cause I let sunlight into our bedroom when I came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel fresh from the shower. So I went to church in jeans, a t-shirt, flip flops, wet hair and no makeup. Nobody cared.

Due to the dog fiasco and Princess' inability to catch the little turd, we were 30 minutes late, but surprisingly singing had went long, so I arrived right on time for sermon.

I needed a reminder that the measure of my life is counted by my family and the happiness in my heart. Not the things I've yet to accomplish.

Thank you Jesus for my dear friend, who reminded me of that fact just the night before on a late night call from Canada.

I left your house with my eyes lifted and my heart light.

The girls and I started over and had a wonderful day.

When my DVD player died, I didn't shoot it, curse it or even hammer it to pieces. I simply tossed it away and went to get another.

And when I heard something go bump in the night and couldn't find my gun, instead of calling The Man in a panic. I simply loaded the 12 guage and checked the house. Rock steady! Cause Jesus has got my back.

Here's hoping today is just as good as yesterday.

Love
Hope4Grace

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Oh Shit....

Well I've gone and done it now. I try to keep it clean here, mainly because my Aunt Cindy says not to curse, it ain't lady like and she sometimes reads my blog, and I'm a little scared of her still.

If you curse with a sweet southern accent, is it still rude?

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My Turn, My Turn!

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your significant other? studly
3. Your hair? streaky
4. Your Skin? splotchy
5. Your mother? fabulous
6. Your favorite thing? blessings
7. Your dream last night? weird
8. Your favorite drink? soda
9. Your dream/goal? house
10. The room you're in? work
11. Your ex? short
12. Your fear? failure
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
14. Where were you last night? reading
15. What you're not? uppity
16. Muffins? strawberry
17. One of your wish list items? shoes
18. Where you grew up? sticks
19. The last thing you did? lunch
20. What are you wearing? black
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pets? fish
23. Your computer? savior
24. Your life? full
25. Your mood? bubbly
26. Missing someone? nope
27 Your car? green
28. Something you're not wearing? (I'm not answering this one)
29 Favorite Store? BN
30. Your summer? busy
31. Like someone? yep
32.Your favorite color? yellow
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? Thursday

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Grace

In my head, I'm a classy, graceful southern lady who just happens to live in the mountains of the west. When faced with the reality of what and who I am, I'm boggled. Really, my flaber is agast. Like when I think I'm looking total hot and then someone takes a picture and I'm like "who it hell is that poor idiot" oh yeah, it's me.

So I had one of those moments the other day at work. Technically I was on my lunch break. See, The Man and I have lunch together every Wednesday. It's our thing, we meet up somewhere and coo at each other. Actually we just get a chance to say the things that we haven't had time to talk about during the rest of the week. Work, bills, plans, pass out receipts. Things like that. Important stuff.

So since it was another freaking blizzard, we decided to meet up at this little place down the road from my work. He's sweet like that. So I get there and we're parking near one another so we walk in hand in hand, in the blizzard. As we're standing in line chatting, he looks behind us and tells me that my entire office is in line. Oh yeah, looks like everyone I work with had the same idea as us. So we smile and wave and keep our superior place in line and enjoy our lunch.

Afterwards, I notice that my work crew has secured the long table near the front windows of this charming little place. So waving we head out. Me back to work and him back to sleep, poor baby. When bam, it happened. As soon as we step out from under the overhang, the blizzard swirling around us, I screwed the pooch....... "Wow, it's slippery, hold my " never got to say hand, cause I went down an inch from The Man in a very ungraceful heap of swirling coat, amazing green purse, black high heels and red hair. It was not pretty. Several people offered help, but since my face was as red as my hair, The Man waved them off, promptly picked me up and made sure I made it safely to my car, with a death grip on me.

Several hot arse baths, a heating pad and some meds left from my last dental dance, and I'm not feeling it quite as bad. Although my back is sore.

Do you ever wonder what people think when they look at you? Do you ever wonder what your spouse or co-worker really thinks of you?

I don't. I really don't care to know. Cause I'm a classy, graceful Southern lady damnit......whose gonna go crank up her heating pad.

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An Odd Overview

Things a little hectic and I find myself stressing out over things I can't possibly change. Gonna try some armchair pysch stuff here and solve my own problems....once we exam them....cause I'm OCD like that

The worrywart part of me thinks: Still paranoid about not fitting in at work......each week I breath deeply on Friday cause I got no pink slip:

The intelligent part of me says: First off, I'm blessed and have a great job. I make a good living doing what I'm best at, I'm somebody (or in this case, seven somebodies) right hand. I do things before they know they need them. That is my job. I have access to work from home, they completely DO NOT expect me to be there if I'm sick or my kids are sick, I'm a mom first. This is why I get three weeks sick leave a year. Dang. That is alot. True I'm not really the normal employee, the other girls are unmarried and younger than me. They are only waiting until they marry, that is what work is, a purgatory if you will for them. They are not so inclined to overachieve. I'm used to overachievers. The men I work for are great. They are always interested in my family and my hubs and they apologize for interrupting me so that they can give me work. Blessed I tell you. What is my problem? Not real sure.

The worrywart wonders: Why is the housing market dropping so dang much so fast.

The smart me says: Who cares, enjoy it cause eventually you'll be ready in oh say June when you're lease is up to purchase your first home. Be happy in other's misfortune. Damn that part of me is cruel.

The worrywart reminds me: What is the 15% expected drop continues after you purchase. Then you'll be up the creek, losing money right away? WTF? Do we continue to lease? ARGH...

Again, smart me says: Welcome to the club.....unless you're magic eightball gives you a surprise answer, you're now in the same boat as most Americans. Deal with it.

Dumbfounded me asks: How can any ole idiot put stuff on your credit report?

Smart me says: Hello stupid, you wrote legal briefs for four years, put that knowledge to work and start a letter writing campaign to said idiots. Then file suit if you have to, duh.... I'm not sure who (*&^%%^**( is but they used my social and ran up a nice fat electric bill somewhere that just popped up on my report. And it's a dude. Hello I'm obviously a chick. I'd even let a rep from this company peek down my oh so proper shirt to verify this if they would only remove that crap. Oh no, it takes an act of congress to remove it, even if it's not yours. My advice to you, watch your credit reports. We ignored ours for ten years, then hello fraud.......now I can't.

Furious me wants to know: why my kids classmates were making fun of her cause she was a different religion than them? We're Baptist by the by.....in case you were wondering....

Then pissed off me: kept picking up the phone to call said parents of said little turds and then kept putting the phone down cause I'm totally the wrong person to try and talk tolerance when I'm pissed off, especially when they made my kid cry. So I did the smart thing, I called my father-in-law and he talked to my kid and then gave me a much needed lecture in keeping my temper reined in. So I'm better, until I think about it then I grit my teeth and want to pull somebody's hair out. (Warning: soapbox ahead) See cause I'm tolerant, I have had friends of all religions, even one who had no religion. I respect everyone's right yet at times I do minister to those when my heart leads me to do so. (even if doing so makes me feel hypocritical, cause I'm a sinner and even though I love the Lord, I feel like I'm wearing a big ole neon sign that screams SINNER even while speaking of the blessings I experience) so it bothers me when I run into ignorance. Because that is what it is, it's ignorance people. And it's scary when you teach that to your kids.......hello........(getting off soapbox now)

Parental me asks: Why one kid will not eat to save her life and the other is constantly hungry. This is a new thing in my house and I'm beside myself with worry. One keeps getting told by strangers and friends alike how lovely and slender she is...............why would you tell a nine year old how slender she is? What is wrong with you if you do? The other one is asking for food constantly.

Dr. Spock via the Internet parent assures me: That the little one must be in a growth spurt and it's normal for her to have a hungry phase, really, just healthy food and not alot of junk. That causes a great big DUH to escape my lips. The other, well I'm just gonna have to make sure she is eating cause a part of me is worried that she isn't because she knows she's slender. I'm sure nine is too young for that, and I'm sure I'm being paranoid, but I have had some experience with the whole controlling your weight by not eating thing. So I'll just keep watching that and tempt her with yummy healthy snacks packed with nutrients.

So there, I feel better doing my little purge. These are all the thoughts that were rattling around in my head today. OH I almost forgot a big one.......

Today at work a coworker's messenger got infected with a virus when she was chatting. Which sent it to all our us on her messenger, turns out my new desktop comp at work had no anti-virus which allowed the bug into our network. So I'm trying not to feel bad (cause hello, I didn't know) cause my comp managed to infect the entire company network. Hello........pink slip anyday now.

This is where I chant, stress is no good. Stress is no good.

Does anyone else stress about stuff that they really can't DO anything about?

Oh and it's snowing again.......damn

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Dear Lord....

Thank you for the many many blessing that you have given me.

Thank you for my happy, healthy children who make me smile even when the rest of my day sucks.

Thank you for the husband who loves me no matter what.....and calls to wake me up and tell me to put out the garbage cans on a day that isn't garbage day.

Thank you for not letting the neighbors see me without pants when I was dragging those cans to the curb.

Thank you for my job, the security it brings and the happiness that the fridge full of free Dr. Peppers that keep me sane and on a continual buzz.

Thank you for my paycheck and for J.C. Penney's. Together they make beautiful music.

Thank you for my mom. For loving me even though I'm difficult, moody, opinionated, type-A all the way.

Thank you for my mom spending time with my kids and spoiling them rotten, they adore her. Thank you for allowing us that.

Thank you for my mom sneaking into my house before sunrise this morning while I lay peacefully sleeping in my bed, gun nearby. Thank you for making sure that I slept like a rock and didn't hear her and wake up and pull a gun on her. Cause Princess needed her backpack, and my mom rocks. Thank you for making that trip out in the middle of the night to bring it to her, I hope it wasn't cause you couldn't sleep, I hate when you can't sleep.

Thank you Lord for the snow, it's wet, white and pretty. I've never seen so much of it. Turns out it's cold too lord......I'd rather be thanking you for a warm spring, but I do love the snow.

Thank you that you made sure I bought a car with front wheel drive in California before ever knowing I would be moving to the mountains. Your foresight has saved me many of ditch trips.

Thank you for the four pounds I lost.

Thank you more for healing me and allowing me to get over the stomach flu, which might have had something to do with the four pounds I've lost. But thank you for watching over my health.

Thank you Lord for loving me even though I'm difficult, willful, non-obediant, sassy, loaded with attitude, slightly vain, and a sinner.

Amen.

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Sharing is nice but go away

Items brought to my bathroom, where I have spent quite alot of time in the last four days, damn tummy flu........TMI, sorry....

*A roller skating puppy: "He wants a kiss mommy, just kiss him mommy, really quick so I can leave mommy"

*the phone........for cripes sake, stop calling my house, you know I'm indisposed.....

*blackberry.....cause work never stops

*a Dr. Pepper: cause mommy might be thirty

*a bowl of soup: seriously, Duchess brought me my lunch to the bathroom....."L-E-A-V-E now"

*two new books: cause a girls gotta have something to read

*the phone.....come on people, I changed my phone number for a reason.......

*my cell phone: Yes, "N" I'm still alive, sorta

*a torn skirt: "Since you have some time on your hands mom, fix this" Not sure where Princess got the idea that I can acutally sew, about busted a gut laughing over that one......haha, brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it, this is why I know the dry cleaners drive through lady by name

*Wiki food: "cause he needs to eat mom"

*a blanket and a pillow: "in case you need a nap mommy" Thanks Duchess

*the phone.........OMG

There is an end in sight as I am happy to report that I'm not typing this from the bathroom. Although it occured to me that I should really decorate my bathrooms, give people something pretty to look at......

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My Ass Went Shopping

No seriously, I took my ass shopping today. See work is tossing together a lovely Halloween party for all the firm's kids....there's alot...so I am in charge or buying a shopping cart full of food, candies and goodies/toy/crap they don't need.....

So I went to the local craft store expecting some good deals.....none but while shopping there I noticed that the aisles are smaller there than my usual shopping grounds. So I scooched in (is scooched a word?) and while digging through the 60% off racks I bent over and my ass literally cleared a whole shelf of lite up pumpkins.......a whole freaking shelf. Cause see I kinda rolled with the action thus ensuring the whole shelf falling to the floor.

I was shocked, embarrassed and pissed off until I realized that the shelf on my ass was wholly responsible for the accident. Then I was upset and shocked and embarrassed and pissed off at my ass fat. So I left....the whole store, with the pumpkins on the floor....

My ass is going to boot camp tomorrow.......aka it's time to loose the ass shelf.......

Or get a bigger paycheck to cover all my ass shopping.....

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I Bore Myself!

This is a good reason why I shouldn't be left home along on a saturday night...after the kids are asleep, and I can't shop online.....I find things to do after I OCD clean the entire house.....

There is really no excuse for this.....I'm obsessed now..........

So I am seriously looking for a new hair style....sigh, should I try bangs? I haven't had bangs since ohhhhh 1997?

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Keeping A List

We live in such a conservative area that I sometimes gain the most immature pleasure out of shocking the utter shit out of total strangers....(now, I have family members who are reading this and just nodding to themselves at this point, cause face it, I never change!)

Immature, yes but oh so much fun. Especially when The Man jumps in like second nature to join the conversation.

At lunch today, we had such a nice time. Almost like a date, until the left side of my arse fell asleep causing me to limp across the packed, crowded foyer of the area where we lunched. Then he called me "Gimpy" and hurried me along, which made people frown very ugly at him cause he was obviously mistreating the limping, disabled lady! But I digress,

So as we're strolling along to his truck a nosy lady behind us is walking so close to me that I can feel her hot breath on the back of my neck.

How many people can fit all the following in a short 15 second conversation: fat-sex, no sex, procreation, beaten up, peni5, the weather, parking and fat rolls?

It's a talent, and knowing that one of us can preform CPR is also handy....just in case she actually needed mouth to mouth when she started choking.....it ain't polite to be nosy!

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