So I flew last week into SLC to go about the process of moving my household goodies. Dave was absolutely tied up with his new company so it was up to me. Since the babies were already scheduled for church camp with their grandparents it was time for me to move and move quick.
So I flew into SLC (I think I said that already didn't I?) But stupid me booked myself on the 6ish am flight and driving from the lake is a several hour trip so I didn't get myself any sleep at all. But the real drama came when my frugal nature had an argument with my packing choices.
You see, you have to pay for luggage checked now. Are you kidding me? Like these people aren't ripping the crap out of us already....I digress, sorry. So I realized that I couldn't check both my gun and my clothing considering my carryon was my laptop bag containing all the homework I needed to accomplish during the move.
So what would any good southern girl do?
I went with the gun.
And flew to SLC with my checked gun and no clothes.
Because honestly, I wouldn't be caught dead without my gun during a cross country move. There is no way on earth I was willing to do that.
So I was going naked.
I had the clothes on my back and that's it.
(Thank you mother for loaning me clothes and taking me for shorts/shirts!)
So I was sleeping walking at the point Dave dropped me off at the airport at 4 am. And since noone was working yet, I carried my gun safe upstairs to ask someone in security how to check it since the regulations constantly change.
The sleepy TSA guy smiled so sweet at the security checkpoint and asked what I was carrying, when I said handgun, he freaked. OMGawd did he freak. He yelled at me that I wasn't allowed to bring a gun upstairs and all the TSA people at the checkpoint got a nice little wakeup as I screamed back at him that I didn't know and how the hell was I to ask when nobody was downstairs but the guy cleaning the floors who didn't speak English.....it was entertaining to say the least.
They calmed down when I flipped it upside down and shook it to show them it was all safely locked up and promised them it was unloaded then directed me to where I needed to go and get it checked.
So finally I got my gun checked and loaded onto the plane. I refused to give up my aisle seat to a grumpy arse lady and then got a look that promptly told me she hoped I fried in hell....I smiled and gave her a thumbs up cause I believe in sharing the love.
Laying over in Denver was fun, especially when I realized that they had a smoking lounge. Hello, then after a couple smokes and a coke I realize I have 10 minutes to make it 10 gates or the plane would leave without me.
Turns out, I should really wear my glasses in situations like this. Turns out I got in at gate 31 and flew out of 91.....why did I read that as gate 41? Interesting. So yeah, I ran and I ran like a bad guy in the movies, taking out little old ladies with my laptop bag, hopped over several carry ons left in the aisle while their owners ordered lattes (really could have used a latte at this point) and finally because I can not lie, I rounded a corner and ran smack into a pilot who was apparently running late too cause we went down like two freight trains meeting in a tunnel. OMGawd....this wouldn't be quite so bad except he was like old and little and I totally was horrible and jumped off taking off leaving him in the middle of the corridor, cause I suck. Sorry little pilot man, I was late...........really really late and I suck.
I made it to the plane and boarded last. Figures. Then realized my seat was the last row, aisle seat on a small plane.
Like small as in "pack of gum with wings".
Seat didn't recline and my seat mate was apparently a BYU football player. Huge young guy.
So I get settled and then promptly turn to mr. football man and told him in my best stern mother voice that he was in my seat and frankly I paid for my WHOLE seat so he needed to hug the window and put the armrest down.
He balked. So I gave him the look and then before I could speak a very sweet adorable flight attendent totally put him in his place, quoting the FAA regulations for the armrest. So I got my seat and football man went to sleep, only drooling a little. I really envy people who can totally put themselves to sleep asap like that.
Anywho, so we get settled and then the little adorable flight attentant guy totally put the seat down and snuggled up to me. Cause you see, the flight attentent seat was a fold down from the back of the bathroom door making the last row actually 5 seats wide. And after I caught him reading the new Janet Evanovich over my shoulder, he introduced himself and announced that he was my new gay. I was thrilled, we shared my book, ate M&M's, talked shoes and promptly had us a great time the whole flight. It was a fab time and got my mind off the wildly small plane.
I landed in SLC and there was my amazingly great bestest friend in the world to welcome me back to hell. Looking like a million bucks since we both left our old company, I was so excited to have some girl time.
We had a great lunch, we totally acted up and talked about everything under the sun. We looked at shoes. We went to the gun range and blew the other girls away cause we some serious pistol packing mommas. Then we went shopping somewhere that I swore I won't put on my blog....but it was her idea and I didn't buy a thing, thank you very much. Almost, but didn't. And when she dropped me off to my momma and daddy, I was so glad to catch up.
Then at 7 pm I shut down and literally fell asleep in a blink which is so not me. I slept for 12 straight hours too, which is also not me.
The next day was all packing.
My daddy picked up our truck. My momma and I loaded all my house from that storage unit into that Penske truck in 4 hours. The three pieces we couldn't move wound up being the easiest when their friend showed up with a truck that had a hydrolic lift. OMGawd, I gotta buy one of them things. Awesome!
So when it was all said and done, Daddy and I pulled out of SLC less than 48 hours after I arrived driving the Penske truck to Texas.
Step 1 was complete.
And you might have wondered why I didn't make time to blog....cause we all know I blog just about everything. lol
Step 2 tomorrow, my fingers are tired.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Road Trip 3002
