So today I was a productive little bugger. I got up early and took my baby boy off to the groomers cause he was a nasty little hairy thing. Seriously starting to look like the wolf boy! So since I was up, I went on down to the local courthouse to renew our tags and lo-behold turned out that half of the better citizens of the area was there too. After driving around and around for half an hour, I finally squeezed into a far parking spot and then after a very brisk walk with my kiddos and one stuffed bear (Mr. Teddy) we approached the security setup. Duchess was so impressed to go through a metal detector while Mr. Teddy road through the xray machine. Considering how utterly packed the parking lot was and with people coming and going with a bunch of papers, I thought it'd have a line at the security but nope....turns out it was arraignment day for all alleged criminal matters both small and large. The place was packed but strangely vehicle registration was empty for once. Yeah me.... the only good thing about not being able to take a licensed gun into a courthouse in this instance was the knowledge that all the other people couldn't possibly bring theirs in too....relief!
So before 10 am, I had accomplished so much of my daily goals that I treated myself to a yummy (Princess is mastering GF baking so I'm eatting like a queen around here). Except I ran into a little problem....
My dang big arse yard is growing too fast thanks to all the rain around here. Well crap. Since I don't have a shed to park a lawnmower in, I haven't bought a lawnmower (did you know that you have to put those things together?????? they come in a box....geez, lazy manufacturers). And since I couldn't get any lawn guys out to give me a quote, I finally got desperate and borrowed my sweet neighbor lady's mower. I was gonna do it myself.
So she pushed it over to me and I walked out the back door....and had to really put on my "good Sunday southern girl" face because oh my gawd, I'm pretty sure the mower in question was used by Moses on the deck of the Ark. The back wheels are three times the size of the front wheels, it apparently was of the "push" variety that must have been way before propelled mowers because all the rage and to turn it off I had to use my shoe to disconnect the spark plug (learned that the hard way after the bastard shocked me).
I have an acre of a yard people. I haven't sweated that much since giving birth to a kid who was determined to stay where it was warm and dark. Good grief. This is where I point out that I'm not afraid of hard work....I grew up mowing our yard, picking veggies in the garden, and generally helping my mother keep things standing (helluva woman, my mother)....but Dave has always taken care of the man stuff. This probably explains why he locked all the tools up in his toolbox and took them with him on the road. He left me a freaking RUBBER MALLET instead of an actual hammer and no drill. But I got this...... I can do anything I put my mind to, so here I went.
I mowed the damn yard and with help from Princess thankfully didn't kill myself but I really tried. Nope, not kidding. I started this with high hopes, my ipod and some comfy shoes. But the shoes started rubbing a blister, and this was after a rock popped back and cut the back of my heel. So I had Princess do a few laps while I switched into flip flops. That worked while I mowed the deep arse ditches but it went badly for me when I hit a huge patch of fireant hills. They ate my self up. And when I went running, screaming across the damn yard heading for the hose to wash my feet off....that dang mower kept running, cause you know...spark plug. So then I got smart and pulled on some knee high rubber boots. I started mowing again just to have three cars stop in the middle of the street in front of my house just to stare at how utterly ridiculous I looked out there....one old lady actually got her glasses out to get a better look. But I got a good stride and although I thought I was losing feeling in my legs at one point I managed to work through the pain. Princess and I got done and sat on the steps, dazed stupid and too tired to lift our arms to actually open the door.
And turns out it wasn't sweat pooling up in my right rubber boot, it was blood from my heel. Frankly it was gross and I thew up a little in my mouth. But all in all, I did good. I got the yard looking fabo amazing and Princess/I got our exercise.
And as soon as Dave called, we began the delicate process of demanding a riding freaking lawnmower.
Cause frankly, I'm too damn delicate for this kind of work.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Really...Someone should step in
