And Then I Puked

When Dave came home last time, he made a miracle. And I tried not to cry, but a tear may have escaped.

He made chicken fried steak. Gluten-free chicken fried steak. For me.

Blessings come in many forms, one is breaded and fried.

It's been a full year since I've had anything like it. He just whipped it up and it was wonderful.

So tonight I tried to recreate, with fried chicken.

I ate too much.

Then I puked.

Lord help me, I have no control.

Amen.

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The Never Ending Backyard Saga...

Because there can never be enough in my backyard....we added a patio set today. Turns out the furniture fairy doesn't just drop it off, you actually have to assemble these things.......why oh why didn't I wait till The Man was in town.

Oh because Cec, and My mom/brother dropped in at just the right time. Lucky duckies.


The kids quickly made off with the box.......fort time!

Brother started in asap, with Murphy giving a hand.

Speaking of giving a hand, little Alan is getting quite large and is only 35 weeks along so I gave Cec a hand too.....

Several hands, can't quite keep my hands off the little bugger.

But I can strike an attractive pose...

Notice that everyone else was working while I played, cause I got run off. I put two screws in, striped them both and I was done. I'm not cut for mechanical anything. I'm better at managing/supervising/bossing.

Awwww, almost makes me forget that she's grounded.

But all in all, I must say, I'd have been screwed with the help. They really truly rock!

Hi mom!!!!!!! Love ya!

Frankly I'm thrilled with my new patio set, even though I'll never have enough company over to fill the seats. Only those few who know to drop by rather than plan in advance. Cause I'll find a way out of that.......

Cause I really don't like people, hey, I'm nothing if not honest.

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He Came, He Bought, He Spoiled, He Left

So Dave came home for Father's Day weekend and exercised his daddy privilege and bought the kids a go-kart.

It runs on gas. Lord help me. The day was spent getting it primed and ready to go. I do so love garage sales. They are sweeeeet! Plus you add in a trip to the mall and I'm there.

Please notice the death grip Duchess has on daddy. Not to mention the look on her face. She was all about "speed limits". Poor thing, she must have gotten some of my momma's genes in the driving department (sorry mommy, love you, but you drive SLOOOOOOOOOW). Cause Dave and I have very different driving skills and styles but they are both fast. Princess was totally driving like a pro after the first lap.



Yes, that would be my kids terrorizing the neighborhood, on a Sunday no less. For shame!

Okay, this was the cutest thing, he actually put the thing on ramps while making sure it was kid appropriate. :) Then added some butterfly decals. Cause it's red and all, not pink.

Sup...... rocking my saturday look, no makeup, funky hair, shades.

Although I must say that the dang thing does go fast. Look at their faces. LOL, 15 mph was a little too fast for them. After an hour, we noticed that they needed driving lessons though....cause Princess was blowing through stop signs like they were cool. We're not talking a rolling Cali stop either, full out blowing them.

All in all, they were thrilled. Dave managed once again to make the whole month.

So honey, happy Father's Day, especially since you bought your own present, hope you enjoy those scopes! :) But for the record those jeans I got you are the bomb. Much better look for you, cause the droopy rapper look is sooooooooo not you.

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I Can So See This....

So on facebook I took a "which decade fits you best" quiz. Cause I have no life.

And frankly I was super excited to get.......the 1940's!

Yeah baby, this totally works.

"You are the ultimate romantic at heart. You put a high priority on true love, patriotism, and dedication to honor and duty. Whether it be serving your country or serving your family, you have a very hard work-ethic balanced out by your whimsical, dreamy heart. You are willing to take risks, go where no one has gone before, and you have a sense of pride in everything you do. Just as you are in touch with your inner beauty, you also give just the right amount of focus on your outer beauty-- standing out with the latest fashions and getting in touch with your sensual side. Your sexiness is not scandalous but rather classy and poised. You are the envy of those around you because no matter how much tough work you have to do, you keep a smile and look good while doing it."

Now if only I could look like that, damn.......gonna stop eating and force myself to exercise.

Then buy some thigh highs.

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Several thoughts...

* Even in 3 inch heels, I'm still the shorter one of thebunch......fark!
* Proof that I can find joy even in work situations, which make me very uncomfortable
* Notice the cleavage..... as in the lack of in my case...... cause I actually heard a comment about how much of my chest was showing...... hello UTAH. Breasts are illegal.
* The only one NOT skiing at this work function, but they sent me to the spa.....which explains the great hair.
* Some of these peeps are actually the sweetest, most innocent people God ever put on this earth. I feel like I corrupt the very air they breathe.

These are a few thoughts that struck me when they finally sent around the pics from our last ski day.

And for the smart-arses who can't find me in this pic, cause:
* I'm wearing makeup
* I'm not in a hoodie
* My hair is not in a pony or a bun

I'm in the middle. The short one. With skin showing.

Is anyone hiring in the South? No ski days are a necessity.

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Don't Blink...

The Man...

Fark it, if you read my comments you'll know that The Man is Dave, as he apparently doesn't give a rat's ass about privacy issues, lol, so we'll just call him Dave, shall we?

Moving on...... Dave is home for the weekend. His one weekend this month to celebrate Father's Day weekend as well as give me my medicine therefore insuring that I don't snap and off someone in traffic.....TMI I know, but true.

So we'd planned to hike one the big mountains nearby today and enjoy some of the great Utah (snicker) outdoors. Except we woke up to Princess with swollen tonsils and an am trip to the doctor and rain. Therefore we improvised. While Dave and Princess hit the doc and the pharmacy, I ran out between rain sessions and quickly mowed the front/side yard, you know the only parts visible to the neighbors, cause it's all about keeping up appearances (does any one else love that show? ADD much?).

They came home and yelled at me for mowing in the rain and then Dave noticed that my neighbors were having a garage sale. Before I'd finished that little strip of lawn between the street and my sidewalk, he's bought the kids a go-kart for a SONG. Therefore insuring that I'll forever be that parent.......the "I'll beat you senseless if I catch you riding that thing without your helmets, padding and rollcage protection gear" parent. Fun times I tell you.

So after that debacle, we headed to the mall.

Please pause for a moment of silence......... ahhhh the mall.

Dave was sporting the droopy pants, rapper look and needed some pants that actually fit. So there you have it. Off we go.

We hooked him up. yum.

So then it happened. The moment when I stood in the middle of the mall and had a mini-heart attack. When suddenly I felt old. Dave managed it much better than I did. Turd.

As I stood with Princess in the mall watching Dave get a battery for his watch, she casually asked if we could swing by one last store. Hmmm it was nap time but I asked which store and why.....

Because she liked their shirts. Seems it's a popular brand with some of her older classmates and she "thought it'd look good with jeans and a hoodie" mom.

While doing the fish mouth face, I ran through a million reasons why that was not appropriate.

*you're too young
*it's too expensive
*blah freaking blah

But Dave in his cool parenting way, says sure we'll check it out. While giving me the keep cool eyes, as in we'll figure it out.

We walked in and once I realized that it wasn't horribly expensive and hello, the clothes are more surfer style tees and shorts than slutty clothes that most people think are okay for ten year olds. We racked up. Tee's for $12, flips for $6 and a hoodie for $14, yeah.......I'm okay with this.

But peeps, the hardest part, was watching my kid come out of that dressing room, all legs and gangly self, smiling so big and bright as she planned out outfits (need some ribbons to match for my ponytails mom)......and I realized that I wasn't prepared for this transition. I didn't think it would happen so soon, so very casually, so very.........her.

Especially when before today, all her clothes came from:

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Changing Utah, one kid at a time

Princess is finishing up basketball camp this week. So normally I drop her off on my way to work, wait till they open the doors (cause I'm not one of those parents that drop my kid and drive away while they stand outside, geez people - be good parents) then off to work I go.



Except this morning, somebody was running late (not me, I assure you...I'm never late). So the kids were stuck outside waiting. Princess jumps out of the car, leaving me waiting at the curb to go join her two new friends.



Frankly I don't mind, as hello.....some of my songs aren't kid friendly so I can jam without worrying about my influence on her growing psych. So here I am, jamming out having a good time, occassionally looking over as parents continue to drop kids off and drive around me and away......making sure that Princess is fine, even though she is only 150 feet from me.



When I noticed something not quite right......

Seems that she pulled a deck of cards out of her vest....... oh no......... surely not.........

As the crowd of girls got bigger, I realized that yes, my kid was playing Texas Hold'em with her new bestest friends..... sweet innocent little Mormon girls......

And the little blonde on the right, she folded.......

My only thought was please God, don't let her take their money, I'll never hear the end of it!

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Thank you's

A little tiny piece of the notebook I'm carrying with me these days:

"I'm thankful for..."

• friends who love me, even when I suck and don't call/email cause I'm a shit
• that my kids can wipe themselves even if they don't always flush
• Murphy eating his doggie bed, cause really I was tired of looking at that extremely comfortable looking bed sitting in the corner
• the Mexician place down the road, which saves me from cooking
• the tummy pills I have on hand that are needed after said food
• my ipod, cause it keeps me sane at work/cleaning house/yard work
• the smiles and hugs I get even my kids think they are grown
• the 4 inches of height I still have on Princess
• my mom who loves me even when I'm moody
• the gas station next to my work that provides Frasil icey drinks to keep me going throughout the work day

It's important to remember to be thankful for the little things in life......start a list peeps!

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Kill Me Now

To de-stress and take the edge off my stomach probs, I took the doc's advice and cut school for the summer. It's worked so far but...

Now I have a ton of extra time in the evenings once the kids are in bed.

I'm horrified to admit that I've been wasting that time. Let's count the ways.....

• Becoming a fan of youtube (not something I'd have foreseen but I dig listening to my music and watching the videos, this could be cause I don't have cable...hmmm, good excuse, I'll keep that one)
• Painting my nails
• conditioning my hair
• scrubbing baseboards and trying not to sing loudly to my ipod as to not wake the kids
• sorting and putting pics into photo albums (I'm only about three years behind now, verses five)
• xbox (remind me to smack my brother in the head for that one)
• Painting my toenails
• Color coordinating my clothes for the next day with makeup and jewelry to match
• Ditto for the kids (minus the makeup)

So what stands out so far...........

When the fark did I become so freaking girlie? I mean yeah I'm a girl and all, vain enough to keep my roots under control and occassionally shave my legs (usually when prompted, thanks honey!) but when you're so bored that you find yourself tweezing your eyebrows, intentionally causing eye watering and pain, well it's getting out of hand.

Gotta find myself an evening hobby that doesn't revolve around decorating myself. Geez. Guess giving up my book buying habit came at a bad time, it's too bad our public library is the size of my pantry.

Yet another strike on Utah, wow...kinda impressed that I managed to work that one into this post. That takes talent.

Oh and while waiting on my girlfriend to finally go into labor with her baby, I talked to her briefly today to check in....poor thing, so ready to pop. However, it was a total blonde moment to go, "yeah I'm ready too, cause I totally need my roots touched up" ......... yeah...... she um does my hair, lol. Foot/Mouth, luckily she laughed really hard about my "honesty" so maybe she'll go into labor soon, cause I need a touch up.

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Please Please Please

let me, let me, get what I want......this time. Okay, little dramatic but the Muse cover of this song keeps playing in my head.

What do I want?

What isn't coming easy...... isn't that always the case?

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Shiney...ohhh

I'm mesmerized. My brother brought the kids' an xbox last week (cause it was just sitting there not being used, let them use if for awhile.......sucker bait, I'm totally going to have to splurge at Christmas for their very own now, sigh) and it sat unplugged for a week cause I couldn't figure out how to watch a movie on it. Yeah, I'm not so good with things that need plugging in.

So tonight he plugged it in for the kids to play lego people games, fun times. Rowdy too, dang. But then he put in my new fav CD and showed me how to use the menus and blah blah blah. But then, he put the screensaver on..........ohhhhhhhhhh. Shiney, bright, colors.

I'm a sucker for stuff like this. I've listened to it three times in a row, just watching the purty colors go by. Thumping to the tempo. The kids and I painted every nail in the house tonight in front of the rainbow of colors. Slightly redneck of me, but I'm totally in love with this feature. Now, if you'll excuse me......gonna see what this thing does with some different cds, seriously wondering how fast the tempo thing can go.

I'm kinda a nerd.

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Hail.........sigh.......June

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Cleaning baseboards, floors and etc.......why am I trying to keep myself busy?

Music on repeat in my head right now: Blue October

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Changes...

Well I'm breathing, and now Duchess has a fever...hence the midnight blog template changes. So might as well spruce the place up a little, removed some old links....blah blah blah, changed up the pics and oh yeah, added my playlist for your listening pleasure. (lies....I added it so I can listen to it at work without being busted on the streaming video/music site...naughty little round about path there but it works)

If you follow and I don't have your link listed, give me a shout.......cause I'm blonde this month so I probably forgot peeps.

Oh yeah, another I hate Utah note: raining for the seventh straight day. It hailed yesterday. It's farking June!

Now I feel compelled to mention sunshine and rainbows, as proof that I'm not going to be perpetually grumpy, lol.

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Me

Not really in the blogging mood. I think being sick makes me contemplative. Battling stomach flu with complications, be back when I feel human. Till then, I'm drowning myself in books, music and daydreams.

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Another Reason....

...it takes us forever to get out of the house in the mornings...

Princess takes forever to get ready, especially when snuggling with Murphy instead of actually getting dressed!

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Summer's Here

And you know what that means?

Kids camps!

So in addition to all the crazy stuff we have to do each week to keep our schedules running smooth, we now throw in basketball camp, kids' camp (instead of daycare) with daily field trips and fun.

Tonight I gave Walmart almost 100 bucks just to get started on this project.

Lunch boxes and food and freezy things.

I made some changes this year. So tonight I'm staying up watching a movie while I pack a week's worth of lunches. Those little snack ziplocks are godsent!

Can you imagine how much I'd save by buying normal sized bags/boxes of foods then making my own individual portions? Well I did the math, cause I'm OCD and needed to prove it to myself before I went whole hog.

So by buying big cans of fruits instead of fruit cups, then making portions - big bags of crackers/chips and you guessed it making portions - frozen cans of juice to mix up and put into reusable lidded cups - this week alone I saved $29.55. Please keep in mind that this week is three days worth of food. Holy crap. That's not counting the stuff I already had in mind from my pantry! Woohoo....

Now I can totally justify the extra money spent on camps....well that and since I can't be with them during the summer days, they might as well have a blast!

Embrace your inner Scrooge!

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