Sunday Cry

Every Sunday should start with a good cry.

I lost Murphy this morning. For a span of 20 minutes, I was a complete sobbing wreck.

I made a donut run for everyone and it was while we were sitting around the table eatting ((not me, no GF donuts, dammit) when I noticed that for the first time in almost a month, the house was silent except for smacking and gulping. No Murphy.

I was petrified that he'd gotten out alone while I was gone. We tossed the house, squeking his favorite toys, we searched the yard, under the vehicles and the basement window wells, no Murphy. The Man and Princess took off through the neighborhood on foot. Duchess and I continued to search through the silent house, one room at a time.

I found him finally asleep, behind my couch, behind the curtain in front of the AC floor vent.

The little shit.

Now I have a headache.

Thank God.

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From Heaven to You

It's not P-Dub so don't expect too much in the way of cooking photos, but for those of you interested, I've documented my super duper granola recipe today.

Since going Gluten-Free, I've had a hard time finding snacks so in desparation for sweet morning foods, I scoured the internet for the perfect recipe. And after the first batch, I revamped it and made my own.

Which rocks, if The Man and the girls are asked.

Start with the ingredients.
Gluten-Free oats (sold with it marked on top, usually at a organic store but my local grocery actually carries a teeny tiny GF section), banana chips (optional), carmel bits (optional), nuts, honey, peanut butter, vanilla, brown sugar, chocolate chips (high quality chocolate is GF)) and cooking spray. (I really like Great Value - Walmart brands as they list ALL their products either Gluten-Free or Wheat included). Globe is optional, I personally think it adds texture.

So first you take 2 cups of oats and 1 cup of nuts and toast them in an oven at 400 degrees. Till toasty, once the oven is preheated it is less than 10 minutes, watch them closely as The Man has had to dispose of two separate trays of burnt oats........ :) I'm not a perfect cook.

This is nice and toasty looking oats. Perfecto!
Sit them aside and reseat your oven to 350 degrees. While that is resetting, in a very old saucepan, mix half a cup of honey with 1/4 cup of brown sugar.......to make the goop. The mix that will hold it all together.
While that is mixing, keep stiring it and then spray your equally old stained but clean pan with cooking spray.
You should have a roaring bowl that looks all foamy when your goop is ready. At this point add 1/3 teaspoon (or just a generous tip of the bottle) into the pan and remove from heat. Give it a quick stir and take off stove.
Our it into a bowl and then mix in half a cup of peanut butter, briskly stir and when the goop becomes very thick........

Toss in the oats and nuts.......mix well as it's best mixed when hot. Coat all the oats/nuts well.
Chop your banana chips into small pieces.......
Add marshmellows if you're my children, and carmel bits.......oh yum, very healthy
When coat with the hot oat mixture........cover well
Once completely covered..........

Mush into place...........
Sprinkle with chocolate chips and then throw it in the oven..........
Have a snack while you're waiting..............
Check the mixture.........it should be slightly golden brown and chocolate melted.........about 5 minutes
Then take it out and let slightly cool before you cut into bars. Then toss it into a ziplock bag and keep in the fridge. No preservatives means it will go badly very quickly.

Enjoy! We make this is vast quantities and often the past month.

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It's Raining Eggs

**** Sadly, Princess' egg was hurled off at the beginning and then pelted with many many other entrees.......it busted......she was livid....she gets that from me******

Princess loves science. This is no surprise considering that she attended science camp last year, for a week. Given her choice of 12 camps, she chose science. So when her teacher challenged them with an Egg Drop, she began her elaborate plans. The Man with his engineering background was only too happy to help.



So tomorrow is the big day. Egg Drops off the roof of the school. Prizes are awesome. Princess and The Man finished their brainstorming and took off for the pet store returning a little while ago to complete their mission.



Her egg is housed in a plastic hamster ball with a little lid ($3.99/each), nestled inside foam fingers from my queen sized bed pad ($120) using a medium sized egg ($.89/carton) wrapped around the crease with some good old fasioned duck tape ($9.99/roll).



They made 2.



Total cost of volunteer science project for extra credit: $138.86.....



Cost of seeing Princess' face when her test drop off our house roof survived not one but three drops.....



Priceless

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I Don't Think So

I'm a very strange person. I embrace that, I like that about myself. I'm not a cookie cutter person, there aren't millions of me running around. (Personally I think that is a good thing too) Which is why I'm totally pissed off this morning. I look like a girl.

When I first started working at 16 in an office of a grocery store in my teeny tiny hometown, my boss and trainer gave me one good piece of advice that has stuck with me.

Always dress professional, always! And never ever show your legs at work, they'll remember that you're a girl. Then she told me my uniform was black dress pants, black heels and a white button down shirt.

To this day, I follow that advice. I only a million pairs of black suits, black slacks, black shirts with some white, grey and browns thrown in. The shoes are the only thing that deviates from the plan. I have embraced my shoe love and will happily wear black professional clothes for the rest of my life, but I'm wearing red heels, or cream colored boots, or plaid 4 inch heels with them. It works for me. My thing is, shoes don't have to match anything you wear except your earrings. Again, it works for me.

So this morning, well it just pisses me off.

I have had quite the busy week, my job for once is completely fufilling and I'm actually thinking of stopping the occassion job hunt (gasp!). Since I'm now doing three jobs in one, I stay busy enough that I don't have time to gripe or surf the internet. I love it. However, between work, back to school, The Man's hunting, feeding my family and Murphy....well I didn't have time to do my work clothes. They get set aside and I wash them separately. Babying them in really nice "black only" detergent to extend their lifespan. (I also use baby powder and wipes on my shoes, shut up)

So this morning, I ran into my closet to grab a mixture of black, as I seriously wait till the last minute to get dressed, literally the kids are outside loading their crap into the car: pants (black) -check, shirt (black) - check, snug fitting but very very long light sweater (black) -check, shoes (pale tan with 3 inch heel and cute little silver buckle) -check, jewelry (silver) -check. I also grabbed a Dr. Pepper over ice in a cute pink plastic cup, to sip on the way to work.

I was out the door in three minutes. This is a normal occurance for me.

It was as I was pulling out of our neighborhood that Duchess screamed loud enough to crack glass. Causing me to hit the breaks, whiplashing myself into the steering wheel and dropping my FULL pink cup of Dr. Pepper on the console behind my gearshift.

SHIT

I turned around thinking that her head must have exploded or a limb fell off, but no, she is pointing at this teeny tiny little spider on her window. Cowering in fear. Princess was no help, she was rocking her ipod.

SHIT

So I turned around and took my self home for a change. See the Dr. Pepper soaked my console, my pants beneath the knee and my floorboard. The Man is going to kill me. Dead girl walking.

So I left them mopping up the liquid and ran inside house, therefore setting off the house alarm. Fun, I tell you. Then running back to turn it off, stripping off pants in my livingroom to leave a Dr. Pepper soaked puddle on the floor. Past the barking dog who must think I'm insane by now. Into my extremely OCD closet where I realize that *gasp* I have NO pants. They are all dirty.

So here I sit, in my all black and great shoes. In a farking skirt. One of three skirts I own for church.

IN A SKIRT

I've already been told I have nice legs twice.

Once by another admin, she knows the drill and is loving this. Another by a complete stranger in the stairwell.

I flipped him off.

Happy Thursday from the skirt wearing pissed off idiot.

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Memories.....(Sing Along)

****Update: Murphy was a prince among dogs. He was washed, clipped and buffed. The Man arrived to pick him up and the women there were just singing his praises....Murphy must get that sunny attitude from his momma*****


So often The Man and I will drag up an old memory that was not funny at the time, but hysterical now, and chew it over.

That happened this morning when we realized that Murphy needed to go to the vet for his second set of shots. We also need to get him groomed, cause he's looking a little shabby.

So as I sat drying my hair, The Man and Murphy were sitting across from me in the livingroom as we were yelling back and forth about what needed to be caught up on. See, it's his day off. The Man, not Murphy, so he tries to help me catch up on everything. Poor guy.

In a lull in the conversation, I thought aloud about how I hoped Murphy didn't shame us like Frankie did.

Once upon a time.....there was a Frankie. Franklin to be exact. He was our first little housedog. Princess was 3 and The Man had just returned from the war (that had just begun) and it was during our re-nesting period that we decided that we needed a little house doggie. Enter Frankie. The cutest little black tiny poodle you've ever seen.

He was evil. The meanest little son of a b9tch ever born. We were assured that the reason he was for sale was because the owners needed to move into a non-doggie approved property. Lying arses. He was the devil.

He hated me. He hated Princess. He hated to go potty outside, cause it was much easier to go in the livingroom or under my bed. Arse.

However, he loved The Man with a very unlikely loyalty.

So when it was time for his first grooming, I sent The Man with Frankie to the groomers.

He dropped him off and then left to go run errands.

They called twice. First because he wouldn't settle down and they were going to try again but were unsure if they could get to him. Second, because he bite them (as in bite everyone trying to hold him down, all 12 lbs of him) and The Man was needed ASAP to pick the b9stard up.

So The Man came home with a half shaved dog. OMG.

I came home and took one look at that thing and sent them both to the balcony, with clippers, a towel and I locked them out there until the deed was done.

Now our balcony of our really nice complex looked over the parking lot of a liquer store. Um, hello California, that is not uncommon. Better that than a strip joint, right? So during this episode, a police car pulls into the parking lot and out step two officers. Who upon hearing the dog awful cursing and doggie screams echo-ing from my balcony, hone in on what is going on. Then kick back on their cruiser for the show.

This just made it worse. The Man had lost all patience and when I happened to walk by the balcony doors, the sight of black fur flying through the air shocked the crap out of me. I opened the door, BIG MISTAKE, and in comes a almost but not quite shaved Frankie, spreading black curly hair near and wide in my house.

It took three months for the rest of his hair to grow back.

It only took three days before The Man spoke to me again.

Sadly we had to give Frankie a new home a month later when we were moved into a military housing that didn't accept dogs. Darn!

Please Lord, Please let Murphy be docile and sweet at the groomers. I honestly do not believe The Man has it in him to go through that again........

Amen.

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Thank you Jesus, School is in Session

Well it's official, I'm old. I could ignore the crows feet and the slight fading of my features. I could ignore that my metablism is slowing down, I could also ignore that my eyesight and hearing are leaving me.

I can't ignore that my youngest started kingergarten today. OMG.

She picked out her own clothes, she decided on her own hairstyle and she was nervous "cause I want my teacher to like me and to make new friends". Damn, she's more articulate than I am.
So Princess stepped in and offered some sisterly advice. You know since she is a pro at this school thing. Seriously.....

1. If you go to the potty always make sure your skirt isn't tucked into your panties.

2. Never eat the healthy stuff in your lunch

3. Talk cool

So The Man came home from work and I went late into work, to see my girls off. (He's awful grizzly but it's hunting season, should I say more?)

And since Duchess told me specifically that I should "do my hair" I did my hair. Cause I refuse to embarrass my girls, well............okay, I refuse to unintentionally embarrass my girls...that's better. So I got me some Princess hugs, which is rare cause she keeps her distance now that she's growing up and all.
Not to be left out, I got me some Duchess hugs too.........
The Man just couldn't resist either, except he did it in front of the school......heaven forbid. Poor Princess was beat red.
So Princess left us to go "gaggle" with the girls and we escorted Duchess to her door. Except it wasn't open yet so we went to watch her play.

And play........................................
Until it was time to forcefully take her back to the edge of the playground so he wouldn't miss the bell....................
Where she promptly made a break for it and played some more.........

But finally we got her in her classroom. Where she was at a table with another kid from daycare. Sweet. Friends...............until Duchess just looked at her and turned around. Said the kid eats boogers.............um, sweetie so do you.........never mind.

Just once she says.........

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He's My Man...

This is the guy I've been driving nuts for 12 years. I'm a little attached to him. Why? Cause he gets me.....while others are scratching their heads...he gets me and likes what he gets. So, in honor of that (well mostly) I did a little interview with him, but I couldn't think of smart questions cause I'm blonde this month.
But first, I wanted to touch base with my favs.......this is the "you're cute and I think I'll keep you" look, I usually get this after I've said something completely stupid or inappropriate, I do that alot.
This is the challenge look. It's the "oh yeah" look that I get when I tell him how things will be or what I "want/need" for him to do. This is usually followed up by:
The "death" stare. This is my "you're in deep crap and I'm gonna throw out your shoes" look. It's after this look that I usually allow him free access to http://www.cabelas.com/. That's a very scary site, not for the faint of heart, so don't click it if you're not brave.

But mostly, I just adore him.

Especially since I'm a complete and utter dork and he likes me anyway.

****this video was heavily edited to take out the completely inappropriate things he said but then realized that my mother, his mother and my Aunt Cindy read this blog. Opps.... *****

It doesn't hurt that he feeds my shoe fetish either. I mentioned in passing that I needed new boots. So these babies are on their way to my house via my favorite boot store. Woohoo.

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Craptacular......

We've been out of internet service since this morning at work........they obviously do not realize how important blogging is to me....sigh.......



I'll catch up tonight!

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Mr. Murphy

So my new "snottie" (half Scottish terrier/half Schnauzer) has this horrible habit. He constantly needs a bath. How can 7 lbs of trouble find so many horrible things to roll in.......?
So his first bath with us went well. The Man ponied up and dug in. Which was so very brave cause Murphy is walking calamity. I love this about him. It makes him a perfect fit for our family.
He is learning how to fetch, although he likes to bark and growl over it. He refuses to turn it over wihout a fight, and if he wins, he prances off with it. His crate is filled with toys.
He also likes to terriorize Duchess. While she adores him and seeks him out constantly, the instance he turns his attention to her, she runs for the nearest high ground. He totally has his bluff in on her.
Princess on the other hand, is the seasoned old pro. She takes her turn on "potty" breaks and is the first to pick him out a new toy.

The Man takes him everywhere on his off days. He refuses to leave him home alone. Even though he "looks like a wimp for carrying around a dog the size of a football".But the best thing about Murphy? He loves the stupid yard sprinklers. And the dirt in the backyard. Mixed together. Seconds after this shot, he was off running through the side yard sprinklers and straight into the dirt. The little turd.
So back into the bath he had to go.........
Once again, The Man took the reins. Do you see him shaking his head......? Yeah he was not happy, but then again, neither was The Man.
Although he was pretty cute soaking wet, even though I wanted to bite him.
So all in all, the little guy is the perfect addition to our family. And as I type this, he has managed to wrestle the little toliet bowl cleaner brush into the livingroom............greeeeeaaaaat.......

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My Log

By now, I'm sure you are aware that I have a log. A very large tree, more like it.
So when we moved in, we noticed that our yard in the back was slightly uneven. Okay, it was a big ole slant, pointing right down into the neighbor's yard (not the tacky neighbors, no, the elementary school principals house, greeeeeaaaaat!). So we brought in dirt, a whole truck load. I'm sure you remember that and this. Yeah those were fun.

Yet it still wasn't enough.

We toyed with the idea of a retaining wall, so that 3/4ths of our yard would be level then 1/4 would gently slop towards the principals' house....hi neighbor!!! Free watering for you!

But then my cheap self saw the cost of that retaining wall. After I cried and threw a fit, The Man and I decided to just sell the house and move to the flat prairie lands.

NOT.

So one day I passed by a yard with logs and huge rocks for sale. Logs, hmmmmm.

The idea was born. A rustic look for a nice yard that would last at least 10 years before having to be replaced with a retaining wall, hello.........not gonna be living here 10 years from now though....so even better!

And then bargained for, and then delivered to the "cheap lady who's mean husband won't let her spend over 80 bucks for a log plus delivery out to the boonies and who won't stop calling me till I agree".

Then came the problem of how to move it to the right part of the yard. So The Man brought in a coworker and off they went.

He.............Ho............

And they pushed some more........and it was bright sunny and freaking HOT. I was sweating just watching them, and pointing out directions. Then came the necessary evil of measuring it all out to make sure that where we have it is perfect. Cause we intend to bring in another load of dirt and level up to the top of the log.
Are you seeing my plan now? I dream in technicolor..........it's always this bright and clear when I have a good plan. The Man is still griping though, poor guy. No vision.
This is gonna work. Just wait and see.

Cause if it doesn't, I'll never live it down.

You're thoughts?

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