Everyone should know by now that I have a tendency to show my arse. If you don't know this, stop reading now and go floss! Otherwise, this will not be a surprise that today this not so rare occasion came again.
The Man gave me a month of tanning for my birthday.
Let us see, it's been about four years since I've tanned which may explain my ghastly white appearance. But he got me a great tanning bed reservation that has very little actual UV rays so what the hey...
So after dropping Princess off at tumbling, I head off to the tanning salon. Mom is tagging along so once we get there, she quickly signs up for some rays too and off we go.
Now, first off, tanning salons have gotten way nicer since I last went. My booth was the size of a small car. It actually had a car stereo in the wall that piped music into the pillow on the sun bed. Sweet! Trace Adkins and I rocked through 8 minutes in the bed after I slathered on lotion and in I went.
Before I knew it, my time was up and I was dressed and ready to leave. Mom had just finished up as well and as we were scheduling our next appointment I became aware of a very intense itching sensation in my ......backside area.....
Trying to discreetly scratch myself didn't work and caught the salon girls' attention (love really tan teenagers with better eye makeup then me, by the by) so I owned up to my sensation that was quickly become a scorching hellfire.
Before I could blink, she grabs the back of my pants and peeks down....
"Yep, you've burnt your arse"
"Excuse me?" ---- very dignified, okay I tried to be dignified but really how can you be anything but a complete moron at this point....
"Suz, check it out, she's not burnt anywhere other than her arse."
"Could you stop saying that, there are other people here...and Suz stop looking at my arse"
I get home where my mom promptly tells The Man my situation....he drug me upstairs and made me use Alevera but not before he checked it out himself.
However, it felt much better.....
Till tonight when I was shopping for work pants and the sales girl grabs the back of my pants and tugs alittle while telling me that this size was too big as they stretch out over time. When she happened to glance down and comment....
Wow, you've burnt your arse....
I hadn't realized that so many people said that word, or looked down other people's pants!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Showing My Arse
