Thursday, May 31, 2007
Redneck Parenting 101
Gravy makes everthing better....
I came home to beautiful thick gravy, biscuits, deer steaks and mashed potatoes. YUM. My world got a whole lot better. Who needs chocolate when you have gravy. It's a beautiful thing.
Until The Man cleans the kitchen and tosses the whole dish of gravy.
WTF?
It just goes downhill from there.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Hoping for Style
Pardon my sunburn, spent Memorial Day at the pool......
Princess about broke my heart when she assured me that I was wearing it wrong....WHAT! How dare my eight year old critique my fashion.....
So.... I tried other poses.....
Monday, May 28, 2007
Oh Princess...
So she now has a chin scar thing going on. Which I keep assuring her that it will fade, however she is quite paranoid about it. Poor baby, scars are cool. She should ask me, I have a ton. Including a new one from my fall down the stairs the other night, my only excuse was that I was wearing socks on the carpet stairs, and more concerned with not spilling my bowl of carrot cake and DP rather than turning on the light. Opps.
Yo, ho....
Saw it, loved it! This coming from someone who CAN NOT sit through an entire movie without wandering off, is a compliment to the highest!
Oh, and it was yummy!!!!! Yeah baby!
Saturday, May 26, 2007
The Hunting Mecca Trip
However, there is no such thing as a simple "trip" into the mecca that is hunting. The recent "trip" turned into three hours of wandering, pursuing and education and marko-polo.
First, we all wandered around together. That gets old quick, I like the food/house area and The Man loves the gun side. So we each take a kid and split. That is where the fun begins.
After a hour of browsing, Duchess and I started hunting for our people. The other people who didn't bring their cell phone in.
On our journey, we saw the taxidermy competition. Duchess really like the big lion. Whose owner was extremely nervous when she climbed behind the red ropes and approached him, cause "Mommy I need a picture of him, he's cute". Who can say no to that? Not I or said owner.
Then we taste tested some fudge, and some granola, and then some syrup and then had some maple popcorn, cause looking for people in a store that sized, makes you hungry. Then we got thirsty so we hit the lemonade stand.
We then journey through the fishing section, where Duchess got a lesson in casting with a Barney pole. That was cute but I have no pic cause I was working a fly fishing pole. Old guys in that department love us... we're clueless but fun.
We then journeyed over to the outdoor exhibits where we climbed into a big blow up bouncer and had some fun. The salesguy assured us that it was only for display though, so we left. Spoilsport.
Then we hit the gun musuem, where we paid homage to John Wayne's gun that was on display. I love John Wayne. I have a picture of him in my bathroom, kid you not. That is another post though.
We found the camping section next, wow! I was in awe of all the cool outdoor/tent cooking stuff. I could make a four course meal on some of that stuff. Apparently I should pay more attention when The Man mentions camping. Hmmmm something to think about. Wonder if they make portable air conditioners for tents?
Speaking of tents, Duchess found this beauty. This amazing thing was so awesome with all of its comforts of home. At this point, we accidently wondered into the other people in our party.
Who were concerned cause they've spent their entire trip looking for us. Opps. They went twice to the car, even staked out the bathrooms, seems they didn't enjoy our "trip" as much as Duchess and I did.
Although....
Princess did inspect the talking moose.... and didn't cry when it got her hand. Trooper!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Ode to Chicken
Because this is the best dang chicken in the world. Smoked for four hours along with foil wrapped potatoes and corn over mesquite wood. OH MY MERCY! I have fond thoughts of this chicken. I actually had a dream about it the other night. Perhaps it's not normal to have dreams of food, but I love food, so I'm comfortable with this. All this wonderfulness was created by the photo-elusive step-dad. Who isn't surely threatening me with a knife because I have once again snuck up with a camera. Please....this is the house of cameras.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Happy Birthday
The Man helped me ring it in with style, cause every girl needs balloons and hugs!
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
OMG, Help!
However, I'm in deep doo-doo people!
Here is a list of areas that are challenging me:
1. NO ONE SMOKES! (TLG I know you feel me here)So when I go to get the mail, I'm smoking like four and nursing a buzz for an hour.... I need the stop smoking pill NOW!
2. DRESSCODE! I who only wears black or white am screwed. These people are fashionistas. And, and, and they accessorize, well. I've decided to start adding one piece of not-matching-at-all clothing or accessories to my outfit.
3. HAIR! For the chick who does not have certification to even lift a curling iron considering the amount of burns she has received in the past, this is killing me. Up-do's, extensions, fake hair pieces, weird side sweeps. These people make this stuff look great! Note to self: let 4 year old fix your hair tomorrow, that could work...?
Okay, otherwise I'm doing good, just challenged....crap, I'm not girlie enough!
Monday, May 21, 2007
This scares me...
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Never Again Mommy, Never Again
Here is Duchess carefully coating the eggplant before he fried them. This takes skill people, not to mention she swept up the mess she made on the floor, that takes guts! Cornmeal on a wood floor sucks!
- Mom, I need my very own cookbook (said while piggy tails were flopping as she bounced in place)
- Daddy, I'm a big girl now and I cook so mommy never has to cook, ever ever again (I am fond of this promise, I have it on video, three times)
- This biscuit is for you daddy, I only dropped it three times
I love that my kids are learning the good tradition value of artery blocking, cholesterol raising deep fried Southern goodness that is cooking from scratch.
Next up: grits and brown eye gravy
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Sweet Freedom
So I got a send off with a cake, sorry had to cover my real name ;) but you get the idea. It's been wonderful. I actually left work early. Me, I left early. This is a big occassion as I'm very serious minded about work. So I left at 2 and came home to have a lovely nap. ( I nap often, I wonder if this is why I can't seem to actually exercise, at all ) So needless to say, I start my new permanent job on Monday. Very excited and a little nervous, but that is good. I should be nervous. Otherwise I'd be dead.
So the Royal household took me out to eat.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Admit One to the Crazy Train
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Opps, Sorry
Yesterday sucked the big one. The big ole hairy one. However, I just have to remind myself that this too shall pass and I'm off to a new job very soon, next Monday as of fact! Yes!
I've got a head cold and yep, showed my butt again yesterday. Not literally this time though, just finally put someone in their place. Something I hate doing, something I go out of my way not to do...but I tell you what, you reach a point where you have to draw a line and stand your ground...no I won't do your work, no I won't do your projects, and no I won't get you a coffee...for goodness sake you're my equal and you need a reality check.
So a reality check was paid in full. I feel better however, I don't think they do...still. It's amazing how you can work a full day with someone and they not speak one word.
Refreshing!
Oh sorry for the semi-vulgar button, I do like it though. Does that make me a bad person?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Mercy!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Showing My Arse
The Man gave me a month of tanning for my birthday.
Let us see, it's been about four years since I've tanned which may explain my ghastly white appearance. But he got me a great tanning bed reservation that has very little actual UV rays so what the hey...
So after dropping Princess off at tumbling, I head off to the tanning salon. Mom is tagging along so once we get there, she quickly signs up for some rays too and off we go.
Now, first off, tanning salons have gotten way nicer since I last went. My booth was the size of a small car. It actually had a car stereo in the wall that piped music into the pillow on the sun bed. Sweet! Trace Adkins and I rocked through 8 minutes in the bed after I slathered on lotion and in I went.
Before I knew it, my time was up and I was dressed and ready to leave. Mom had just finished up as well and as we were scheduling our next appointment I became aware of a very intense itching sensation in my ......backside area.....
Trying to discreetly scratch myself didn't work and caught the salon girls' attention (love really tan teenagers with better eye makeup then me, by the by) so I owned up to my sensation that was quickly become a scorching hellfire.
Before I could blink, she grabs the back of my pants and peeks down....
"Yep, you've burnt your arse"
"Excuse me?" ---- very dignified, okay I tried to be dignified but really how can you be anything but a complete moron at this point....
"Suz, check it out, she's not burnt anywhere other than her arse."
"Could you stop saying that, there are other people here...and Suz stop looking at my arse"
I get home where my mom promptly tells The Man my situation....he drug me upstairs and made me use Alevera but not before he checked it out himself.
However, it felt much better.....
Till tonight when I was shopping for work pants and the sales girl grabs the back of my pants and tugs alittle while telling me that this size was too big as they stretch out over time. When she happened to glance down and comment....
Wow, you've burnt your arse....
I hadn't realized that so many people said that word, or looked down other people's pants!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
And you are?
Yes, I got the offer. To be fair, the offer came in last night at 8 p.m. They called me at home, where in my pjs and cold cream, I accepted their generous offer for employment. I did wait until after the reference check before I announced it to everyone. (I love my former bosses, one told them that they couldn't hire me cause he needed me to move back to work for him) Yes, I was stalling.....cause then I had to tell work, even though as a temp I didn't have to, but I did.
I waited as long as I could but it went well. For some reason, noone was surprised and they all wished me the best. I guess they saw it before I did.
I am so thrilled. I didn't get thrilled until one of my fellow co-workers told me that he hoped it challenged me. When my eyebrows went up into my hairline....cause hello....was he being snarky? ( I have snarky ) But he went on to explain that it was obvious that I was being given work to keep me busy but nothing to challenge me.
I take that as a huge, huge compliment from him. Plus I realized it was true, the more work I asked for, the more mundane and routine the tasks seemed. I did love the HR work, I loved the interaction with the people, but it was not a challenge.
I left that conversation, very very excited!!!
Cause I've never worked in financials before, so I have a ton of challenges ahead of me. :)
Boy, the Lord really gives you want you need, even if it isn't what you want........
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Well well well
However, I left my portfolio at home, so The Man brought it up to me and met me at a gas station nearby. What a stud.
Then while changing clothes in the restroom of said gas station between my work and the interview, two women were having relations in the stall next to me.
I have never changed clothes quicker in my life!!!!
I wish I were joking about this, I'm not.
So freshly dressed, with portfolio and confidence (ignoring the aching tummy and nerves) I went to my interview.
The office is impressive and screams of money, the same money that I don't have, lol.
The first interview went so well, we laughed, we talked and then she left me in there while she brought in two VP's. They double teamed an interview (felt quite like a ping pong) and then ....
Told me they would call me in the morning with their answer....oh and if we offer, would you take the position?
Let me see............... $6 more an hour than I'm making now, perm position, a famous former athelete on the board of directors (The Man says this alone is why I can't say no...as he wants to meet him.) and benefits out the wazoo........
Yeah, I'm waiting on a call....
If I don't get it, I'll post a sobbing entry tomorrow, then eat my way through the chocolate isle at my nearest Wal-Mart....is there still Easter candy on clearance?
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Oh My Goodness! What did I do?
Had a hiring session, did a ton of paperwork, had some birthday cake (not for me yet) and tried not to freak about the uneasy feeling regarding the job opportunity that I missed out on, by choice yes, but still missed.
Then you'll remember that I applied for a job out of spite, cause I'm petty like that y'all. It made me feel better so there! Na-nana-na-nah
So this is the call from The Man today....
"Urgh, you had a call"
"I had a what?" (I never get calls, no one calls me ever!)
"It woke me up"
"Who cares, what did they want? A paper subscription? A donation?"
"An interview"
"Holy Sh*t"
"Yeah, what is going on"
So I filled him in and when I told him the ridiculous amount I put down as the minimum salary I would accept in my cover letter, he choked, dropped the phone and had to go spit. Sexy, I know but true.
Soooo I have an interview tomorrow as soon as I get off work.
What have I done?????
Monday, May 7, 2007
What the Hell....
This is a huge problem tonight. I had the opportunity to apply for a full time perm position in a different department at my work, where I am a freaking temp.
Did I?
No, I buckled to the pressure of....loyalty.
I don't want to burn bridges and my sups have said that within the next quarter several positions will be coming open. This is the carrot they dangled. Oh but do what is best for me. And they truly meant it, you could tell.
But I passed.
And it is all I can think about.
I want to at least try.
But I've gone back and forth over why I shouldn't and I have convinced myself that it is best for me to be loyal and wait.
I've prayed and I thought it was right to wait.
So why can't I stop thinking about it.......
And why did I get online and apply for another position somewhere else?
I have no willpower.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Sunday Picture of the Day
Saturday, May 5, 2007
On A May Day
But here? Sunny bright days, the lake effect helps with the heat so its very pleasant, even chilly in the mornings, beautiful and crisp in the afternoons. But today... in MAY! Snow flurries.
At four this afternoon it looked like a cool February day. Misty weather and crisp air filled with snow flurries and showers.
It was amazing. I love it here. I have fallen in love with my new home. That is a good thing.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Duchess Holds Forth...
The Man went in to the royal chamber of Duchess to announce that the royal bedchamber had better get clean or it was all going out the royal window... However this is what I found...
Duchess is holding forth from daddy's lap, with her bible in her lap, announcing to her babies the way the cow will eat the cabbage in this royal house! First off, she began by cooking up some "food" in her handy kitchen while The Man held all the hungry babies. She kept warning him that they were gassy and that one had pooped, be careful there Daddy, he's a stinker. To give him credit, The Man was overheard volunteering to change said stinky diaper, to which Duchess announced that she'd just bathe him tomorrow. Dear Lord, she did not get those mothering skills from me!
Next came the dinner conversation, well they are having pizza. Except for him (him being the cute IKEA pink hippopotamus) cause he is fat and he needs something else.... The Man suggested a salad. After feeding, they proceeded to prepare the babies for bed, The Man still holding most of them. Duchess whips out her bible and announced that they must be read to so they will sleep. That parenting skill DID come from me thank you very much!
The Man suggested that they put the babies to sleep and go watch TV together. At this point, they both dumped the babies on the floor and ran me over outside the door to get to the livingroom.
Moment over.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Cause We're Just Cool
The Man is the coolest ever. As you can tell from his snarky sense of humor. Not only that but he makes that headband look good! Not every man can accessorize like this, I credit living in a house full of estrogen.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Two by Two
Now my children have a best friend, their sister. Plus when something is broken, its more fun trying to figure out who did it, takes the boring out of disciplining your children, really.
There is nothing quite a sweet as that rare moment of happy joy that is two siblings sharing a moment not filled with hair pulling (what is it with girls and hair pulling?), name calling, tattling and property theft. It's just delicious.... In fact some of my very closest friends let me adore their children from afar, I've noticed that they too have seen that rare sight.... when their kids are buddies, sharers of a secret or just being freaking cute.
SuperMan and SpiderMan here are another such case. What adorable boys. I swear their mom keeps them so far away so I won't eat their cheeks. Although I bet she'd happily drop them off for a week at a girl's spa in Bermuda....don't get any ideas missy!
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Child Labor Laws-- Pish!
There is nothing like a big ole dirty house with lots of people tromping through it to make a nasty mess. However daunting the task, I never fear to pull out the secret weapon....my kids.
Duchess has a look of horror as she views the extent of the work that is to be done. See Mimi and Pepaw need their truck unloaded, as all their things have finally arrived, this past Saturday! So now the downstairs apartment is lovely and full of their things. The hard part was getting it down there. Since their place is a walk out we figured we may as well carry it down the hill beside the house and walk it all in through the back door. Simple, right?
So what do you do when all the adults are exhausted from moving the furniture and yet many more boxes are staring at you from the arse end of a moving van? Oh children.......
Behold.....I present to you....the reason we procreate....
One red wagon, one strapping young girl straight from tumbling class, lots of energy, and a million boxes. Yep, we drank iced tea on the porch and watched as the show went on without us.
After they were done, we gave them bread and water and a pat on the head....good children.