I can't believe that ANY body would take xanax on purpose. All my senses are supercharged.... the lights are too bright. My kids are too loud. My freaking shirt smells weird and it's driving me fucking crazy. I can literally taste nothing. Gross. How long does this freaking stuff last?
So it's not like I just took a xanax for shits and giggles. I had an MRI today. Now on TV, whenever I see those machines they look like big ole donuts and you could park a freaking small plane in one. However, at our tiny little country hospital, that is most definitely not the fucking case. It's tiny and it's OUTSIDE in a trailer off the back of the hospital. With heaters running.
See my shoulder has gone to shit, over the past ten years my right shoulder has slowly been failing me. Last six months though have been getting much worse. Got myself a shot in it two weeks ago, nothing. So it's time to see the shoulder special doc four hours away. But he's gonna need x-rays, and MRI scans. And since I've already met my deductible this year, my local PA bent over backwards to make sure that I was able to get my tests before the role date of Jan 1.
Anywho.... they "forgot" to ask if I had a problem with small spaces. Good lord, so after seeing the tuna can they wanted to shove me into, I had a small meltdown (small, that's so fucking cute, yeah small) and my poor tech had to make a happy shot happen. Once that kicked in and I started drooling, she's all like "who's your ride?" bahahahahahaha ummmm myself. My kids are home not doing their chores and my husband works an hour away. So I'm sorta drunken texting a friend who turns out to be out of state..... luckily Dave could read my sorta weird text and said he'd come get me. Too fucking cold to walk, it's like 4 outside. Crazy.
Now I'm so damn proud of myself. Besides trying to bit the tech when she went to strap me down (I apologized)... I just held still, really still so I didn't prolong the experience. She was sweet enough to put a washrag over my eyes and in I went. I was calmer and able to regulate my breathing by praying. Not gonna lie, that helped HUGELY.
But I did it. And then I wandered around, okay staggered around the hospital in my pjs (I went comfy). Cause Dave was still 30 minutes away and the hospital had NO ATM and they only took cash everywhere. So I had $1.25 in cash. I managed to drag myself to the hospital cafeteria where although closed they had some snacks laid out. The sweet lady took my $1.25 and gave me a coke and some jello. Bless her.
Dave found me asleep in my jello. I love that man. I interrupted his Monday and yet, he's still smiling at me. Off to count the beats of light off the ceiling fan.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Flying fucking high
