My kids haven't really lost anyone close to them since they were babies. The one death in the family of someone they knew was a beloved older great-uncle who was well on in his years and did not come as a surprise. This could be a blessing that they've yet to experience this or maybe not really, as it hasn't given them the ability to really process death.
Prin came home today with a story that just broke my heart. A girl from her league team lost her mom this past weekend. The girl was the one who found her, according to the teachers who must not have realized that their 7th graders have ears. The mom had taken the girl and a friend to the beach and wasn't feeling good so went to sit out in the car for a few. The girl found her mom dead. Everyone found out when the girls dad came in today to withdraw her from school and begin her mom to where he lives.
Prin seems fine and I watched her closely all night for any kind of reaction. It was the smallest little tells but they were there. She popped up to say hi when I was in the tub, she followed me outside in the dark when I was out there taking the trash out. She should have been asleep but 20 minutes ago she came in here to "get a drink of water" and see what I was doing.
So I took her and crawled up in her bed. We snuggled and I started telling (re-telling really) stories of how funny she was as a kid. My oldest, my first born. From the age of six months to a year, Dave was deployed and I had her all to myself for those huge milestones. Crawling, talking, teething, standing and walking. And in typical Prin style not one of those incidents came about normally. She was my constant companion and we were a tight pair but boy did that kid give me a run for my money. We both laughed until we cried. And when I held her hand while she prayed, she snuggled under my chin just like she did when she was small enough for me to rock to sleep each night.
She also broke my heart cause when I kissed her forehead and leaned over to click off her bedside light, she whispered "I'm okay Mommy, I just love you". She never calls me mommy. It's been YEARS since she's done that and it instantly cracked me. I just hugged her and reminded her that I was healthy and not going anywhere.
It's moments like this that remind me that those precious little babies that we were given to grow with and raise, are still there......... still buried inside those messy, constantly eating, laundry making tweens and pre-tweens that they are today.
And I'll always be mommy when they need me.
Just like my mom is to me.
Monday, October 10, 2011
I'm Mommy
