Where to start? Life is complicated. And the Lord is good. Things are interesting....but I can say this......Flashforward is a show I'm not interested in seeing. Cause if you'd have told me I'd be here six months ago, I'd have run screaming for the hills (carrying my shoe collection, natch).
For months I've moaned loudly about being stuck in Utah. Oh how very little did I know. We made the decision to begin the process of a family move. We put the house on the market, we prepped the family and the kids. Dave has been looking for rental houses in his area. We thought we were on the road.
However, we also made the decision to put the whole she-bang in the Lord's hands and walk on faith. First and foremost because stress does not do my body good. The worst thing for my stomach problem is stress. So putting it on his plate, began to take the pressure off mine.
Except last week I realized quickly that we can't plan for everything. Really you can't. And I had an ah-ha moment and then hit my knees.
Let me back up, beginning in April I started having some bothersome health issues that I started haunting my doc with. Then in early August, I took a softball to the stomach. It was a beautiful pitch if I do say so myself, and he hit a beautiful line drive, straight into my stomach. Days later, I went to the doc for pain and swelling. And they sent me straight for a CAT scan. Which came back as clear for internal injury but included a growth of some sort on an ovary (if you're male, go throw up now and come back tomorrow).
My doctor promptly washed his hands and sent me to a specialist. Who sent me for another CAT and ultrasound. Fun times peeps, fun times. But she gave me a list of possible outcomes depending upon test results. Which I processed a little, tiny bit and moved on.
Last Wednesday I met with my doctor and before leaving her office, we scheduled my hysterectomy. For this coming Monday.
I'm 32 years old so I was in a bit of denial, but as Dave says.......I have my kids, we weren't having more.......I won't miss those girlie parts. So after having a parking lot anxiety attack, I put my big girl panties on and reminded myself that I was being proactive, I was being a grown up and I made the choice to do this right, not draw it out.
That being said, I went about notifying my family. It took my mother less than 20 minutes to file for a leave of absence from her job to move in with me to take care of me. She is my hero. I strive to be the mother that she is. With that one stroke, she removed 75% of my concerns. My kids and I would be taken care of since Dave has to work, in another state. Dave is taking enough leave to see me through my surgery and leave me in my mother's capable hands. Blessing are raining upon me. I deserve none of them, so.... thank you Jesus!!!!!!
Work immediately became my other large stress factor. We are a small company therefore I immediately began to stress over not having pay and losing my job. It was groundless. Less than an hour after I told my boss, I had company support. I won't discuss that support here because I refuse to disclose info about my company, as they have completely and totally earned my loyalty....forever. All I can say is ......... I am blessed.
So next Monday, on the 19th, if you get a minute, say a little prayer with my name on it for me. But know that I'm blessed beyond my comprehension and the Lord knew better than I what I would need. Everything has fallen into place so much better than I could ever plan it.
Walking on faith.......... the only solution for the stressed, worried and well....... me.
We'll return to our regular programming shortly.
You just won't believe some of the stuff that comes up around here.......
Hugs and kisses,
Hope4Grace
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Spilling my guts......
