OMG hee hee snort gasp

Do you mind if I contact your exes? Other women seem to find it so easy to get over you, and I would love to know their secret.

My body clock still wakes me up at two every night in anticipation of your drunk dials.

I cried so much when you left, it traumatized the cat.

The second I saw you, I decided we were getting married. I was 11. Years later, I’m still in love with you, and you’re in prison

After three years of searching, I finally found someone exactly like you. She doesn’t love me either.

Sorry I was so distant the last two years of our relationship. I was trying to figure a way out

If he had been you, I would have straddled him on the counter and made quick, sweaty work of things. Since he was him, I kissed him twice and headed home

We laughed together, naked and smug, over your friend’s record-breaking sexual dry spell. I never guessed you’d be the one who finally brought him the watering can.

Happy birthday. Also, screw you. Also, call me. Please?

You were not the last man to have a problem with the fact that I don’t sound “enthusiastic” when I answer the phone

Dear Old Love.Com

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Home Sweet Home

So I'm using my weekends to not only catch up on housework, laundry and homework but also to do some of the little house improvement things I've wanted to for so long.

Like Princess' room: now that she is getting older, she needs a little style, a little coolness, a little "my mom is not quite the dork she seems" so we're working on that. Since her comforter, you know the big girl one she picked out last year, is chocolate with pink and yellow accents we bought a bunch of various sized black frames. Then I painted them all chocolate brown. Now we're filling them to actually put some color on her walls. We started with a 16x20 poster that we've framed in the chocolate brown. Pink background and the subject is Princess herself, eight big pics of her in various scarves, hats, and jewelry. Cute as a bug. Now if only I had more places for her to hide her "tweeny" crap.

Duchess' room is my biggest nightmare, that is a total play it by ear and we'll come back to it project.

My next goal will be to find the perfect entertainment center, although I don't want an actual entertainment center. I'm picky. This could take a year. Wait, it already has........

The cabinet man is here today, so I'm high on fumes as they refinish the edges of my countertops, they were nasty and faded after less than a year of use. So we're fixing all that drama.

The fence is up and since the snots behind us have a trampoline, they are now jumping up high to call my kids names. Is it wrong to flip off a 12 year old boy? Don't judge me.

After a week of having one kid with an upper viral infection and one with strep, working from home and squeezing in doctor visits, we are now officially fever free. Holy hannah as my LDS friend says on a daily basis, this rocks. For the record, living in Utah for two years now and considering that I only have two LDS friends, makes me wonder if it's me or if I really am the Baptist at the BBQ.

Tonight I'm gonna paint, something for my Nanny, cause I totally hung the pic she wanted. I suck. So we'll see how that works out.

Oh and The Man, well he flies in Friday for a weekend visit.

Do not disturb.

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There's Something Wrong With Me.....

My man is coming home next weekend for a visit. And honestly it's about time cause I'm starting to crack up. I'm losing it........

I used to be cool. I spent my time alone (when I was 101% sure no one was watching) singing and dancing like a nut to Grease........the all time of my all time corny favorites.......

And now......well corny has reached a whole new level.

Busting dancing and singing with the laundry in the basement by the kids........to well I can't even say it.

Obviously as I get closer to 32 I'm losing cool points. Not good. Gonna have to start thinking of ways to get my cool back.

Cause you just got to "walk away"......

Shoot me now.

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Not Smiling Anymore

Poor Duchess is sick, and can't go back to school till the fevers go away. And they ain't going anywhere, damnit!

So gotta figure out how best to write that email:

"Can I bring sick Duchess to work today?"

or

"Send work and Dr. Pepper, home with sick Duchess today"

or how about

"I've told you that I have kids right? Well........"

Sigh...........looks like however I write it, I'll be working remotely while watching Disney and fetching snot rags and tea for her all day.

I kinda like the idea, she's awful cuddly when she's sick.

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Bang Head Here

Last week my computer broke, well okay honestly the space bar and the K button broke. So before taking it into work to be worked on I moved all my school files onto a jump drive as I really didn't want the IT guy reading my papers. Boring that they are, I use alot of personal and/or work experience in them so yeah, not putting myself out there.

Then he replaced the frame and sent it home with me.

And I lost the jump.

So 10 recent classes of work...........lost. Which wouldn't be a big deal since those classes are over, except my new psych class is drawing on alot of the other psych class. Meaning I wanted my papers to give myself an edge. Like tonight when writing a new paper on Nature vs Nurture, cause I've seriously got 4 other papers on this topic only.

But I've lost the jump.

I hate myself right now. And I had to write it from scratch which took much longer.

Did I mention that I lost the jump?

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Be honest........

So I finally finished my latest painting. Took six months cause until today, I just couldn't figure out what I wanted to do. But today, wham! finished it in 10 minutes. Didn't even let it dry before I hung it on the wall.

I think it's the best work I've done yet.

And yet, it's obvious that painting is NOT my talent.

I'll keep looking for that talent, but for now.......would you hang it in your house?

I'm bracing for honesty here.....

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The Many Styles of Princess

Princess and I took advantage of Duchess' going to bed at 7 p.m. last night to have some mom/daughter fun time. We decided to do a collage of pics for her room. I'm just loving this kid, such a great girl!!! Not to mention I think she's adorable.
My honor roll student who has overcome reading issues to be in the top of her class.

Who dropped dance, even though she was impressive in a tutu to join karate last July. She's now a purple belt, dedication is the word there.

Who has stepped up to the plate and is helping mom run things and keep us organized with Dad living in another state now.

And come crying to her mom cause two of her friends don't get along and are fighting at school. It hurts her heart. So she suggested having them BOTH over to play at our house next weekend, to mend their fence.

And who is looking really sleepy here..............lol

My girl, my princess!

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opps

This morning work was interrupted when I got a phone call from the fence guys, who were finalizing my posts, concrete and all that jazz.

Opps

What do you mean opps? Well it seems while laying the posts along the back prop line they hit a sprinkler line and destroyed it with the mechanical digger. Not cool, but before I could have a freak out, I remember.......

I don't have sprinklers or grass in the backyard yet.

WTF?

Turns out the neighbor behind me has her sprinkler lines running on my side of the property line.

Can you imagine how that conversation went?

Hee hee snort snort gasp

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Goodie, Goodie

I got home to the best surprise! My fence posts are in! Not entirely cemented in as they are obviously not done but woo to the hoo baby (I'm stealing that phrase, loooove it) cause I can totally see it in my head completely finished. It's beautiful, not to mention that once the boundary lines were set up, I totally have 75% of that backyard, sorry neighbor! Kinda sucks for you, but rocks for me.

Biology is officially over, yet still no final grades. That teacher that I gave NOT so good feedback on hasn't graded the last three assignments so we are stuck. Meanwhile Accounting III and Psych 2022 has begun. Watch me stress! Seriously I should sell tickets.

The kids are doing quite well considering that Daddy is gone. I actually talk to him more now each day than before. Lucky for me, we have free mobile to mobile!

Pics coming this weekend!

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A Day in the Life...at Hope4Grace

So the day before The Man headed south, way freaking south, we celebrated Valentine's Day. So basically we all admired Daddy's new gun, loved on the dog, ate chocolate till we couldn't move and watched John Wayne all day........it was great...........

Princess totally busted in the act of letting Murphy have chocolate, her punishment was to give momma all her "turtles" from her See's bag. See me be the big bad parent?

Please don't notice the hangers on the floor, but please DO notice he's wearing shoes in my house! His response, "Just one more day babe" the turd. And how long does it take Princess to get to the center of that lollipop?

Frankly I think Murphy knows, since he stalked her all day.

Boy I need to vaccum........

Day 4 and I haven't hid out in my closet yet....does chain smoking in the garage after bedtime count?

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Busy Beaver

While The Man is away, I am busy. Today I managed to finally drop off my precious Jade at the repair shop to have her front end done, a boob job of sorts for my car. If you remember The Man slid into another car back when Nanny was visiting, in an ice storm.

So imagine my surprise when the rental company (Not Enterprise this time, the creeps) gave me a decent rental car. Not only did it have all the necessary hubcaps, it is purty! And fast! And new! Duchess and I went shopping to celebrate....

Even though I only have her for three days, and will be thrilled to have Jade back, it was a pleasure to drive.

Drive straight to Michaels' where I picked up that fake tree plant I've wanted for awhile but the hubs wasn't a fan........but now.......I just know he'll love it when he sees it in place. Hee hee snort snort........gasp......

Now I'll finish up laundry and be a good girl and stay home.

Sigh.....

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Gone Baby Gone

He's been gone over 24 hours. I've bought a fence, arranged it to be installed next week, rearranged my closet to make use of the abundance of new space and I've rearranged the livingroom.

Doing pretty good. No hiding in the back of my closet sobbing into his pillow, mainly cause the kids stole his pillows to sleep on last night, stinkers.

Biology ends in three days, I'm cramming and then I'm going to rearrange the kids' room.

And buy some fake plants for my house...

Keeping busy is the key.

I'll be posting some pics soon to get some ideas for decorating my livingroom, I need help!!!!

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Countdown

The Man leaves Friday morning. He's all packed except he needs new socks.

I'm not ready.

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Bandaid

I'm ripping the bandaid off slowly........The Man "resigned from his post" today. Seriously that is what he told them when he turned in his resignation and they told him that he didn't have to come back (cause they be cool like that). So bye bye fabrication lab that made my man wear spaceman suits and work 12 hour shifts. Bye Bye to a job that he was completely over.

The Man has taken a job in Texas. He starts next week.

He'll be working outdoors doing what he loves and mixing hard labor with brain power. Plus it's in Texas (insert corney Texas song here) cause he freaking loves Texas and misses our time there.

One slight problem.........

The kids and I will be here in Utah.

Cause we bought a house and the market dropped. Cause I have a good job and the kids have school. Cause after four months, they will move than likely reassign him to another state, so we're sitting this move out.

And while I hide in the closet and cry cause after leaving the military I never thought I would have to do this again, I have it nothing like The Man right now.

The final decision was made last night. He typed up his letter and took it in this morning. Two hours later, he was unemployed (amazing how fast you can get that way) with his former lead asking him to holler if there were any more openings at the new company.

He immediately drove to the school and removed our kids from class and took them to Taco Bell where he had a heart to heart. They didn't shed a tear. I'm so proud of my little military brats, they are well trained in the art of separation and moving.

And he is already scheduling flights home to visit.

We can do this. Not only to get out of Utah and back to the livestyle that we want to raise the girls in, but because this is exactly where he wants and needs to be career wise.

And cause he's my stud muffin and I follow his lead. He leads us well.

So peeps, from time to time, check in on me as I might wind up blogging from the depths of my closet on long dark nights, lol. But then again, as usual, I'll be fine. Cause you know, when he is gone, it's my way all the time. I kinda like that. Plus I get to laugh and joke with him all day via email and phone calls and that really brightens things up!

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Purple is the Word

That kiddo of mine, Princess got her purple belt yesterday. That kid amazes me.

She also got an "Indomitable Spirit" award. The only kid to get one. Cause she rocks the house baby.

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And I Keep Blabbing...

In three days time I should be able to finally address everything that's been clouding up my head, stressing me the farge out and stalling plans of all size.

Murphy had his boy surgery yesterday and we wound up canceling dinner plans to stay at home with our pooch. He was drugged and confused and wanting to lick at his stuff. So we coned him, for 5 minutes. Then he couldn't lay down, couldn't move. So he sat and stared at the wall, watching a drug induced movie that no one else could see. So The Man slept in the livingroom with him to keep him from jumping on the bed and opening stitches. I was exhausted and slept in the middle of my queen sized bed. I suck.

However today is a different story. The dog has made laps through my house, ate like a horse and tinkled on every bush in my yard. I'm thinking he's feeling better...........you think?

Princess tests today at 2 p.m. for her next karate belt. Cross yo fingers peeps.

Duchess actually allowed us to cut her hair!!!!!! This past week, we took her to "over-the-top" kiddo salon with little convertibles for seats and movies playing on flatscreens at every station. She loved it. This was a huge parental victory!

Biology has 1.5 weeks left and I could weep in joy. Seriously.........

The Man actually cleaned the garage, I can park in there, walk in there and not get attacked by falling tools.

Thursday I met a friend for lunch, and when I got back to the office realized that someone had hit the front of my car in the parking lot. Luckily I still have to get it fixed from when The Man (driving my mom and grandmother) slid in the ice and kissed someone's bumper.

What a week........I kinda want to go back to bed. Instead I'm going to Lowes.....cause I'm accident prone!

I was attempting to change out the curtains in my livingroom and I stood up on the couch to finish putting the last screw in the rod holder then I lost my balance, fell backwards and hit my back on the coffee table, apparently I was standing on the materials cause the curtains and rod came down on me. I have a hole in my wall, he's soooooooooooo not happy with me.

His exact words "Hi I'm _____ and I'll be your spanker"

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shhhhhh!

Since I live in the boonies, I don't have the option for cable. I could have a satelite, but I'm too cheap. So I have mourned the loss of my favorite tv shows. And I would list them all here, except you'd think I was a freak.......oh what the hell.

Big Love
United States of Tara
The Office
My Name is Earl

Talk about a rat's nest of viewing huh?

So tonight I stumbled across a secret..........seriously.......click here . Cause you can watch some of those preminum channel (cough**HBO**sneezesneeze**SHOWTIME**Cough) shows for free.

How wrong is this concept? Cause my guilt meter is buzzing slightly but I'm tuning it out cause Buck just showed up....and my homework is all done for the week (toast!) and my hubs has quit smoking today so I'm hiding in the closet with my laptop (poor grouchy guy can't grouch if he can't find me)!

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Updates Galore...

This week was Parent/Teacher conference week. Woohoo, great times. So I drug myself in there for Duchess' conference yesterday, and was floored. My precious chatterbox six year year old, passed her reading test with flying colors, can count to 250 and has her letters down. Only areas she needs to work on: handwriting and sounding out her words better. Very social and happy girl.

Then today I drug myself to Princess' conference. My kid is brilliant and bright and happy and anxious. Yep, you read that right. This I don't get, I'm very driven under stress and frankly if I have a deadline, I do great work. It's without a deadline that I have to crack the whip otherwise I get sidetracked. Not Princess, my baby is have "test" drama in math, a subject she has already rocked the top in. Otherwise her reading is MUCH improved and she needs to work on spelling. Cause if she is like her momma, who still can't spell to save her life, then she's in trouble.

What a relief that my babies are both doing so well!!!! I love that! Motivates me to keep at the neck break speed of living where I juggle work, school and most importantly being their momma and making them homeschool on the side. Cause we are seeing progress!

And here's an older pic of them, cause momma hasn't taken any new pics of them lately. I suck. Hey mom, let's taken them for pics next weekend.......huh? Hello? Mom?
Biology II is killing me. Besides missing out on sleep and that awkward email from my professor about why in the MIDDLE of my paper was two lines from a recipe I was copying for dinner. Luckily she has a sense of humor. So besides writing a ton of papers backed with mucho sources (always impress by using a federal link if possible, you know like the EPA or the US Fish and Wildlife Service), I'm also running two experiments for my final grade in my basement.

#1 - Acid Rain: I'm purposely killing plants with different dilutions of my own acid rain mixture. Frankly, I am not surprised that I rock at killing things. This is week 3 here, so you can see, I'm successfully killing things.

I got a total bug in my ear (yeah right) and decided that I was not happy with the house. I've been on pause, so I scrubbed floors and baseboards while my kids slept late. Then after breakfast in front of their favorite movie, I de-junked my kitchen. Nothing but the basics on the counters! It's like being in a different house. Still waiting on the cabinet warranty peeps to fix the ledge under my sink but oh well, getting there. Next weekend? I'm gutting my closet and re-organizing. I figure I'll be done with the whole house by May. Maybe.

Experiment #2 - As the World Rots is going well. I'm growing bacteria on three variables of pears. Fun! Week 3 - officially into bacteria world.

Murphy, the wonder dog, is doing well. Except Friday he gets snipped. Poor bastard. I'm feeling bad for him already but we can't have no naughty doggie behavior. Cause I've already threw one blanket away. Geez! So pray for the little fellow. I have this sneaky suspicion that he knows what's coming.

In other news, we're finally fencing in two weeks. Luckily, it turned out that the fence peeps actually reduce their pricing and still fence in horrible piles of snow and cold weather. That rocks. I'm already ready to see it up so I don't have to see the neighbors.

The Man and I are both in school again, so we're dualing laptops most nights but we've been scheduling breaks. This Friday night, we're taking kids out to dinner to celebrate the good grades. Then well it'll probably include ice cream!

Till then, I'm going back to write on the scientific method best suited for ecology.

Have fun.

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She rocks...

Actually she kicks.

Last night, Princess broke her first board in karate. She used an ax kick and demolished three 1-inch boards.

She rocks.

Biology is a BBBBBBBBeach, but I'll be back full time soon.

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