Time really just flies.
This Friday night, a group of ladies I know (okay, okay, all the wives of my hub's coworkers) are gathering up to attend the premier of Sex and The City. I'm sorta looking forward to it, but it should be fun. Even though I don't generally like crowds of people. Makes me want to beat someone over the head with my popcorn and then trip them so they slide face first down the sticky movie theatre aisle. But it did bring to mind all my other "girls nights" over the years.
And how my happy arse has been tamed.........let's reminisce shall we? Oh yes, because it's completely okay with me that my internet friends and family should know all my skeletons.
1. Era: 1995 - What started out as an innocent night of celebrating ended up with me hiding under a table at oh about 2 a.m. from the bartender who refused to take no for an answer and kept giving me free kamikazes. To this day, I still taste a little barf when I think of that night.
2. Era: 1996 - The first time The Man and I joined his group of buddies for a night out.....that counts as a girls' night right? When my poor drunk butt gave up and out after the second bar we visited, I was then carried in and propped up at every bar afterwards. Oh no, they couldn't let me sleep it off in the truck, noooooooooooo, they thought it was hysterical to corrupt the sweet and innocent little girl. The Man and I were destined to marry and live forever after he took me to the bathroom several times, not just to puke either. What sort of boyfriend was that? And what the hell was I thinking...... This is also the night I tried really hard to lose my clothes, but The Man kept redressing me and moving me onward to another club. Sadist.
2.5 Era: 1998 - Eight weeks after having Princess, my in-laws came to town and threw us out of the house.....so with some of my girl friends and The Man, we hit the country bar onbase....where The Man kept ordering me that yummy tea.......turns out Long Island Iced Tea has a smidge of alcohol in it. Who knew......so he wasn't really surprised when I threw up out the window all over the side of his truck. And it was the only time in my life I've heard this from any mother-in-law on earth: "You didn't have to get her drunk son, she already married you."
3. Era: 1999 - Some girls from work decided to take me out dancing while The Man stayed at home with Princess, who was a wee tot. The Man picked out a great outfit, kissed my check and shoved me out the door. It started with shots of Hot Damn and Wild Turkey, not together and ended with me losing all the buttons of my shirt, therefore having to tie it together....losing a sock and an earring and then having a burly biker dude chase me around the club. I happily got home and passed out next to The Man on the couch, but not before I threw up.
3.5 Era: 2000 - The Man and I had several "nights out" with all our military friends. But one stands out.....cause Damn.......everyone needs a memory to keep them warm at night right? We joined everyone at a nearby house then proceeded to a local biker bar, yeah well when you're rolling with a ton of military boys, that just seems to fit huh? Except my next door neighbor, the big sweetie that she was decided to dress me for the night. Seems everyone agreed that my little sweater set and black pants weren't "cool" enough for a biker bar. (Why does everyone bash on the way I dress?) So I ended up going in a pair of my black work pants with a black pleather halter top, that had no back, literally tied together in the back. Holy hell. So I compromised and threw on a black leather jacket too. We got there, had a few and then hit the dance floor. Where The Man tipped the live band to play Marshall Tucker's "Can't You See" then he took my jacket and led the happily tipsy me to the dance floor where we proceeded to well.......pretty much have the entire floor to ourselves, Lord I'm fanning myself, can that boy dance. One of my fav nights ever, and the only time I've had had a standing ovation from a shit ton of bikers.
4. Era: 2001 - Had the decency to give up alcohol for the rest of my life....since I was such a lightweight, my budget hardly noticed.......my sanity returned.
5. Era: 2001.5 - Girl's night began including movies, pedicures and shopping.......very boring
6. Era: 2002 - Pregnant again, no nights out......
7. Era: 2003 - Oh my gosh......well spent six weeks at home with my family while The Man was deployed. First off, the girls took me out, all my lovely wonderful cousins. We went dancing. At a gay bar. It was fabulous, needless to say, since it's family, I have no pictures what so ever of this. Then we went to another place, where we danced by ourselves looking like idiots for the rest of the night. Fantastic. Love to dance, not good at it, but love it. Enthusiasm makes up for talent. Really it does. This was also my first introduction to Card Girls Night (thanks Jac for reminding me).
You've never played cards till you have played with my mom (hi), my cousins Sin and Lay (not really their names, just our lazy selves shorting everything) and moi. Oh holy hell, there is screaming, and pinching and cursing and throwing things. That is just rummy. All hell breaks loose when they taught me spoons. If you've never played spoons, prepare yourself. Never play with someone who doesn't love you. Cause at least they'll forgive you in time. It get's violent.
I've been hit in the eye with a spoon handle, I've been pantsed while not wearing undies (TMI I know), I've been elbowed, slapped, punched and wrestled to the floor with my air supply cut off, really it's all great fun. And I honestly can say, I've never won a game yet. They are brutal.
8. Era 2004 - Texas, really hot and steamy Texas.....hey Jac! Rummy made a big return with a new game "Push" and it was every freaking weekend holed up at someone's house playing rummy and eating.....Which is cool since there really isn't alot to do in Texas, down by the border, in the heat........I'm sweating just thinking about it.
9. Era 2006 - Girls night consisted of me and my girls piling up on snacks and making a pallet in the livingroom to watch movies all night. Oh and a 13 girl sleep over party for Princess, which I will never do again, so help me God.
10. Era 2007 - Yep, can't think of one girl night at all..........see it all going downhill here?
11. Era NOW -I'm going to see a movie about women who live in the city, have sex, shop, dress cool, shop, have sex and still look fabulous even though they are older than me........since the beginning of the damn show, they are older than me.........not that I'm bitter at all....
You know that brings up an interesting thought......my girls' for my girls' nights.......well they are scattered across the country as only the military can do. So since I can't take you all with me on Friday........
You that I met in Texas.......The smartest blonde I've ever met stuck up in CT who know all my secrets.....
Wife of the pilot in Carolina, who assures me that I'm never wrong......
The Canadian that I need to be more like, cause she is groovy....
Nic, who needs to move back to Utah with me.....cause I know where the bodies are buried.
I'll be thinking of you guys!!!!!!!!!! Y'all seriously need to get with it and get a blog.......
